Authors: Barbara Erskine
Tags: #Body, #Mysticism, #General, #Visions, #Historical, #Mind & Spirit, #Fiction, #Religion, #Women Priests
‘It makes me so angry when we are too late!’ Yeshua shouldered his bag at last and led the way out of the compound. It would soon be dark, but the family in their distress had not thought to ask them to stay. ‘If we had been there days ago, perhaps we could have done something. The poverty! The exhaustion on that poor woman’s face! It is so wrong. If the children were only old enough to help her! Or her husband did more! If he had gone to the king and begged!’ His voice rose in anger. ‘I can’t bear it when I see so much suffering everywhere I go. Good people, in so much pain and so much misery and grief. How can God allow it?’
‘Her spirit was ready to leave,’ Mora replied as she ran to keep up with him. ‘One cannot always save people, you know that. She wanted to go.’
He stopped and turned to face her. ‘How do you know?’
‘I saw her.’
‘You saw her spirit?’
She nodded. ‘She was tired. Sad to leave him and the children, but she was exhausted; beyond life. Beyond recall.’
‘So, you are saying I couldn’t have saved her?’
Mora nodded. ‘You know we couldn’t.’
‘I get too angry!’ He shook his head after a moment.
‘Only because you care so much.’ There was a long pause. She stood looking down the track ahead of them towards the fen. The sun was setting, leaving a trail of gold in the waters. ‘Do your people believe as we do that there is somewhere wonderful that we go when we die?’
He nodded. ‘It is called Heaven.’
‘And is Heaven full of apple trees?’
He smiled at last, his anger subsiding. ‘Ah, there is a garden called Eden. It is a place of everlasting blessings.’
Mora nodded, reassured. ‘She will be happy there.’ She sighed.
He glanced at her. ‘But her spirit is lingering, watching over them all.’
Mora nodded again. ‘That house is full of the dead. I sometimes think we should teach people how to speak to their loved ones who linger, and help them on their way.’ She shrugged. ‘Trefor needs to let the sunlight and the air into that place. It courts illness. Three of his children have died. That is his third wife. The other two also died. One in childbirth, with the baby barely born, the other of an injury which went bad. I could do nothing for any of them, and yet still he asks me to come. He trusts me. He believes I can help him.’ Her voice rose in frustration.
Yeshua reached across and laid his hand on her arm. ‘Don’t punish yourself, Mora. You do what you can. There are many others you do help. I have watched you.’
She gave a sad little smile and shook her head. ‘Come. We must set out. It will be full dark soon.’ She sighed.
‘The nights come earlier and earlier,’ he said after a moment. ‘You know I am going to have to leave before the winter sets in.’
‘Not yet.’ She went cold at his words. ‘There is so much for us to talk about. So much to study together. There will be time for some more visits before you go?’ She heard the plea in her voice and despised herself for it.
‘Oh, yes.’ He smiled. ‘There will be time for a few more yet.’
She reached out her hand as if to touch his, then changed her mind. Already he was striding ahead of her into the trees. He hadn’t noticed the gesture.
Abi jerked away from the scene with a start. She had put the stone away. This was ridiculous. She had to take control of herself. She sat down on her bed. So, Mora, the healer, was away visiting her patients whilst the family out here in the garden were looking for her. She was a herbalist, but her skills were limited; a druid healer who was not all-powerful. She didn’t use a wand or magic or invoke the druid gods of healing. She did her best with the medicinal herbs she had collected from the countryside around. Like her companion, she was frustrated and angry and miserable because she couldn’t help. And her patient had died of what, breast cancer? Abi stood up and walked across to the window and stared out towards the Tor. Two thousand years later and they still hadn’t conquered it!
She found Cal in the kitchen. For once she wasn’t cooking. She was sitting at the scrubbed oak table surrounded by sheaves of bills. Abi grimaced. ‘Oh dear. Is this a bad time?’
Cal looked up. ‘It’s always a bad time when I have to try and sort this lot out. Come and sit down. Did you have a good day?’
Abi nodded. ‘I went into Glastonbury and wandered around. Went into some of the shops. Had coffee with a fascinating woman from a crystal shop. Athena.’
Cal shook her head. ‘My God! Boadicea herself! How on earth did you get talking to her?’ She shuffled several bills together and fixed them with a paperclip.
Abi shrugged. ‘I was in her shop. We talked about this and that. She designs jewellery.’ She paused. ‘She mentioned Justin.’ She hesitated. ‘He was here this morning. Did you know?’
Cal looked up. ‘Here? In the house?’
Abi nodded. ‘He said better not to mention it in front of Mat.’
‘Too right!’ Cal said fervently. ‘What did he want? He obviously knew Mat and I were out.’
‘I think he must have waited until he saw you leave. He was indoors – I didn’t let him in. He was in the library, looking for some books.’
Cal nodded. ‘He always thinks of the books as his own. I think their grandfather promised them to him at some point. It seems only fair as Mat and Ben got all the rest. Not because Justin was diddled out of it, he just didn’t want to be part of it. They were supposed to end up with third shares in the house, but it didn’t work out that way.’
‘Can I ask why they don’t get on?’
Cal let out a gusty breath, blowing the pepper and salt fringe up away from her eyes. ‘Chalk and cheese. Justin is a good ten years younger than Mat. Mat resented him when he was born, I think. He had been the baby for a long time. But they never had anything in common. Justin is a natural rebel. A bit of a free thinker. I am not surprised Athena knows him.’
A word to the wise…
Athena’s warning rang in Abi’s head for a moment.
Cal pushed back her chair and stood up with a groan. ‘Tea? I’m exhausted after a day in town. Too much traffic; too many people; too much noise. I’ve turned into a country bumpkin. But at least I got some shopping done. I needed a halfway decent coat for the winter.’ She paused frowning. ‘But at this moment I’ve got a splitting headache and I feel like death.’
‘Would you like me to massage your shoulders?’ Abi offered. ‘Something I’m quite good at,’ she added humbly. She didn’t call it healing any more. Not after Kier’s comments.
Cal gave a wan smile. ‘Thanks. I’d love it.’ She subsided back into the chair.
Abi stood behind her and rested her hands gently on Cal’s shoulders. She could feel her fingers tingling. Her hands were heating up. Then suddenly the sensation was gone. She stared down, devastated. She couldn’t do it. Not any more. She gave Cal’s neck a perfunctory massage, then stepped back. ‘Is that better?’ She could hear the huskiness in her voice.
Cal stood up. ‘Much. Thank you.’ She glanced at Abi, frowning, sensing that something was wrong, but not quite sure what. ‘Shall I make us that tea?’
She was holding the kettle under the tap as the phone rang. ‘Can you get that?’
Abi picked it up. ‘Hello?’
Silence.
‘Hello, Woodley Manor?’
There was a quiet laugh. ‘Hello Abi.’
‘Kier?’ Abi froze.
‘Your father gave me the number. How are you?’ He paused and when she didn’t answer he went on. ‘Things are not going well here. I’m not very happy, Abi. I thought you should know. The bishop has suspended me.’
‘Because of what you did to me?’
‘Of course. He thinks I should take time out to consider my behaviour.’ He gave a weak laugh. ‘So, what did you tell him about me, exactly?’
‘Only the truth, Kier. That I couldn’t work with you any more. That I wanted to leave. It wasn’t all your fault, and he knows that. I realised that I no longer had a calling to the priesthood. Perhaps I never did.’
Hearing Abi’s tone Cal turned off the tap and put down the kettle. She ran her finger across her throat. Hang up!
Abi shrugged and shook her head. ‘Kier, I am truly sorry, but the bishop knows best. If he thinks you should take a break –’
‘They’ve brought in someone else to look after the parish. They have told them I’m not well. Sandra thought I must have cancer.’ He gave a strange, humourless laugh. ‘You have ruined my career, Abi. Did you set out to do that? To seduce me? To use magical powers to draw me in?’ His voice was tight and oddly expressionless.
Abi opened her mouth to retort and found no words came. She was literally speechless.
‘I suspected as much when I heard what you were doing in the parish,’ he went on. ‘I tried to understand, to give you leeway, but you just used the time to condemn yourself more. I have told him about all that. Your healing powers, your magical passes, your spells and potions.’
‘What spells and potions?’ Abi stammered at last. ‘What on earth are you talking about!’
‘Don’t pretend not to know,’ Kier went on. ‘That was how you drew me in, didn’t you. You probably put something in my drink. And The Bishop knows it. After all, he hasn’t moved you to another parish, has he. He’s suspended you too. You will go before a consistory court to explain what you’ve been doing, I shall see to that. I’m afraid you will be unfrocked, Abi. You may even go to prison, but I will support you. You know I will –’
Abi slammed down the phone. She was shaking. ‘OK.’ Cal came over to her. ‘Sit down. I got the gist of that, the man was speaking so loudly. This is your ex-colleague, Kieran, I gather, and he thinks you’re a witch?’ Suddenly Cal’s face creased with laughter. ‘I’m sorry, Abi, but this is ludicrous. This is the twenty-first century, for goodness sake!’ She broke off, seeing Abi’s expression. ‘Oh no, I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have laughed. Of course I shouldn’t. This is your career, but truly, he sounded completely off his rocker!’
‘My career doesn’t matter any more.’ Abi had sat down at the table. Her hands were shaking. ‘I have tried to give in my resignation. I expect now it will be accepted with alacrity.’ She gave a small bitter laugh. ‘It’s just so damn wrong! A bigoted, sexist man shouldn’t have the power to ruin someone’s life. I might have been a good priest but I never got the chance to find out. We were warned there were a lot of people out there who would try and bring us down just because we were women, we were even warned from time to time people would mention witchcraft, but we all laughed; we thought it was a joke. That happened at the beginning, not now there have been women priests for ages. I never expected this.’
‘Why did David send you to that parish in the first place?’ Cal asked. She switched on the kettle and then came and sat down opposite Abi. ‘He must have known what Kieran was like.’
Abi shrugged. ‘I suppose the matter hadn’t arisen before. His last curate was a man.’ She paused. ‘He had a nervous breakdown, I gather, but that was due to overwork.’ Hesitating, she sniffed and groped for a tissue. ‘You know, this started because I was a healer. I trained before I went into the ministry and I went on using the skills I had developed. That’s where the idea that I was practising witchcraft came from. Stupid, stupid man!’
Cal shook her head. ‘My dear, he won’t be the first man to claim a woman has used magical arts to lure him in against his will. It’s a way of saving face. “She used witchcraft to get her wicked way with me, my lord, but when I saw her for what she was I backed off and came to my senses,”. For that read: “She couldn’t stand me pawing at her and she rejected me and I can’t believe that anyone would say no to me as I’m such a gorgeous specimen, so she’s either mad or bad!”’ She smiled.
‘Abi laughed. ‘Thanks. You’ve made me feel a lot better.’
She looked up sadly and frowned suddenly. There was someone else in the room with them. A figure, swathed in a brown cloak, was standing watching her, halfway between the door and the window, her eyes fixed on Abi’s.
‘Mora!’ Abi leaped up, pushing her chair back so hard it fell over.
Abi, what is it?’ Cal stood up too, alarmed.
The figure had gone.
‘Did you see her?’ Abi’s voice was shaking. She pointed. ‘There. Did you see?’
Cal stared round anxiously. ‘I couldn’t see anything. Not one of the Romans? Not in here?’ She backed towards the window.
‘The healer from the college. One of the druids.’ Abi’s mouth had gone dry.
For a moment Cal said nothing. She was glancing round the room. There was nothing there. ‘Tea,’ she said firmly at last. She reached for the caddy from a shelf. ‘Sit down again, Abi. You are overwrought and I’m not surprised.’
‘She must have heard me. Perhaps she understood.’
‘You mean she’s come with the sympathy vote?’ Cal smiled tentatively. ‘Poor old Abi. Look, don’t answer the phone again. Leave it for one of us or the answer machine. The last thing you want is that vile man threatening you.’ She poured water into the teapot. ‘Shall I call Ben? He should know about this.’
‘About Mora?’
‘About Kieran.’
‘You don’t believe I saw her, do you.’
‘I know you think you did. It’s just –’ Cal hesitated. ‘No-one has ever seen them indoors before, Abi. But that doesn’t mean they can’t come in. I believe you. Of course I do. You appear to be very psychic. Far more so than I am.’
‘I wasn’t making it up.’ Abi bit her lip. ‘But on the other hand, she was only there for a fraction of a second. It could have been a trick of the light, I suppose. I don’t know. I’m just so confused.’ She put her head in her hands.
‘Drink this.’ Cal pushed a cup and saucer over towards her. ‘And try to stop worrying.’
‘Did Bishop David tell Ben I had lost it?’ Abi raised her head and looked up at Cal. ‘Was Kier right? Is that why I’m here?’
‘No.’ Cal took a deep breath. ‘Look, I don’t know if I’m supposed to tell you this, I thought perhaps you knew it anyway, but the reason you’ve been sent here to us, and to Ben, is to try and keep you in the church. The bishop thinks you are too valuable as a priest to lose.’
Abi gave a little snort. ‘Somehow I don’t believe that.’
Cal shrugged. ‘Up to you. I can’t believe that after one call from that odious man you’ve been reduced to a quivering jelly!’