Time's Legacy (7 page)

She looked up at the cross on the wall behind the altar below the east window. It was carved and old and didn’t look worth stealing so it had been left alone. ‘This is what you wanted, isn’t it?’ she whispered. ‘We are doing the right thing here? And it is right for me to try and stay?’

A light came on behind her in the body of the church and she turned round nervously. It was a moment before she realised that it was a last ray of sunlight slanting low through the stained glass window as the sun slipped down behind the trees, throwing gently coloured patterns onto the flags at her feet. She caught her breath, staring at it, mesmerised as near her, suddenly, someone started to sing.

‘Love divine, all loves excelling,
Joy of heaven, to earth come down’

Abi peered towards the empty choir stalls, trying to see into the shadows as the pure, breathy voice sang on, the words of the hymn barely audible. She had seen no-one there when she had come in.

‘Hello?’ Abi moved away from the altar rail and slowly walked down towards the choir stalls. ‘Who’s there?’ She put her hand up, shading her eyes against the sun.

The singing stopped abruptly.

‘Please, don’t stop,’ Abi called out. ‘That was beautiful.’

She could sense someone listening. ‘Where are you? I can’t see you.’ As suddenly as it had appeared the ray of sunlight disappeared as the sun slid down behind the trees outside. The church fell into semi-darkness and she sensed she was alone again.

‘Come back, please.’ Her own voice sounded plaintive and thin. There was no response.

Slowly and methodically she searched the church, unlocking the vestry, peering into corners and under pews. But she knew there was no point. ‘It was a ghost,’ she whispered to herself. ‘An echo from the past.’

The thought didn’t frighten her; since she was a child she had been aware of the world beyond the world. Ghosts were part of the wonder of God’s creation, but she had never heard anything this clearly before. It made her feel blessed.

Reaching the far end of the church she paused and turned back to look up the aisle. A man was standing at the altar. A vicar, but not Kier. This man was taller, with white hair, dressed in a black cassock. He turned as she watched and looked directly at her. Slowly he raised his hand and she saw him make the sign of the cross and as he did so she realised the church was full of people. Shadowy figures crowded the pews, there were candles alight on the altar and in the distance she could hear it again, the pure voice echoing into the silence.

‘Jesus, thou art all compassion,
Pure unbounded love thou art;’

Mesmerised, she watched. She was being shown something so special it took her breath away.

Behind her the latch on the door lifted and the door creaked open. She spun round, shocked at the noise and found herself face to face with Kier. ‘I saw your car.’ He stepped inside and closed the door behind him. The church was suddenly still and dark and very empty. There were no longer candles on the altar. The singing had stopped abruptly, leaving not even an echo in the vaulted roof. The suddenness of the change of atmosphere left her feeling bereft and strangely empty.

Staring round nervously he reached for the bank of switches, clicking them on one by one until the nave was blazing with light. ‘I’ve come to prepare for tomorrow.’ His voice was bleak. ‘The sooner this mausoleum is transformed the better.’ She saw him glance at her but he made no move towards her. He seemed anxious.

‘It’s not a mausoleum, it’s a beautiful old country church,’ she said reproachfully. She was overwhelmed by a wave of sadness. ‘Are you sure, Kier? Are you sure this is what God wants us to do here?’

He frowned. ‘Of course this is what God wants.’ He shivered. ‘What use is a church that’s used by only a minute ageing congregation? For goodness sake, Abi, we’ve talked about this.’ He sounded thoroughly irritated. ‘What I plan will bring in the young mothers, the teenagers. When the new development starts, there will be more families, people who want somewhere as a social centre, maybe a drop in clinic. It will still be a church. We will still hold services here. They will just be different.’ He stopped abruptly. ‘I can smell candles. Have you been burning candles in here?’

She smiled sadly. ‘Would it matter if I had?’

He shook his head. ‘Of course not. It’s just odd. It smells so strongly.’ To her surprise she saw beads of sweat break out on his forehead.

Impulsively she took a step towards him. ‘Kier, I saw them. Just now. The congregation that used to worship here. The candles were their candles. The rector was here. I expect his name is one of those on the wall up there. He blessed the church. Someone was singing. I’m surprised you didn’t hear her. It was wonderful…’ Her voice died away.

His face had gone white and he was staring at her in horror. ‘No!’ he shook his head. ‘No. That’s all your imagination.’ He seemed terrified.

She stared at him. ‘It was real for you too, Kier. After all, you can still smell their candles.’

‘No!’ He shook his head again, more violently this time.

‘Have you ever seen a ghost?’ she asked, suddenly curious. She saw his face tighten in denial but she ploughed on recklessly. ‘I’ve often thought I did, but nothing like this. This was so clear. So real. They weren’t frightening. They weren’t some sort of echo. It was as if they were still there, in some other dimension, getting on with their thing. ‘And their thing was surrounding this ancient place of prayer with more prayer, with love and blessings. It was beautiful.’

‘Do you know what you are saying?’ His voice had dropped almost to a whisper. He was staring at her in horror. ‘For God’s sake, Abi!’

‘There’s nothing to be scared of,’ she said suddenly. ‘Look, Kier. Look around. Feel the peace and blessings this place dispenses round it. This is what churches do. They become some kind of powerhouse for the neighbourhood. Prayer radiates out of churches. It doesn’t matter how many people do or don’t go to the service. The stones themselves exude prayer and it has an effect.’

‘No!’ Kier shook his head. ‘Be quiet! Shut up!’ His voice broke. ‘My mind is made up. It has all been arranged with the diocese. I can see it’s a beautiful place. I am sad it has to change but there are lots of other lovely old churches which will stay the same. Just not this one.’ He tightened his lips. ‘Trying to scare me is not going to change anyone’s mind.’

She shrugged. ‘I wasn’t trying to scare you. I thought maybe you would see something. Sense something of what there is here.’

‘There is nothing here, Abi!’ He was almost shouting. ‘Just walls!’ He took a deep breath, visibly trying to steady himself. ‘I tell you what, why don’t we lock up and go and have a glass of wine somewhere. There’s a good place just up the road.’

She shook her head. ‘No thanks, I am tired. I’ve had a busy day; I went to visit my mother. I’ll go home now, and see you tomorrow.’ She managed a smile. ‘What time are the others coming?’ She had to pass him to get to the door. Taking a deep breath she moved towards him, making herself walk steadily down the aisle, realising at once he wasn’t going to step out of her way. ‘Excuse me. I need to go.’

‘Abi, you’ve been avoiding me and we must talk.’ His eyes were wild. ‘I need your help. You mustn’t go!’

Again she shook her head. ‘No, Kier. Now is not a good time. I want to go home.’

She wasn’t expecting him to lunge towards her. Before she had a chance to duck out of his way he had grabbed her arms. She struggled frantically but he was far too strong for her as he pulled her towards him. ‘Abi, you don’t understand. I can’t bear it on my own. These people are everywhere –’ He let go of her with one hand and gestured round the church. ‘You have to help me! I’ve been fighting it so long. I could just about manage it when Sue was there but when you came I found I could control it. I was safe. You are strong. You know what to do. Women know about these things. You could keep them at bay, but now I’m on my own…’ He paused, looking into her face. His eyes were full of terror now, darting back and forth. He was like a trapped animal. ‘I don’t know what to do!’ She saw him swallow hard. ‘You can save me, Abi. You must.’ And suddenly he was pulling her closer, his fingers biting into her arms. His mouth on hers was eager and soft. It repelled her. With a cry of distress she tried to free herself but she could do nothing. The kiss seemed to last forever but finally he released her. ‘Darling, Abi –’

His words were cut off short as she pulled back her fist and hit him full in the mouth. ‘Don’t you dare! Don’t you dare touch me again.’ The initial wave of compassion which she had felt as he began his plea had vanished and she was overwhelmed with anger. ‘Do you hear? Never! I want nothing to do with you, Kier. Nothing.’

‘Oh God, Abi, I’m sorry.’ He was clutching his face. ‘I don’t know why I did that. They made me. Someone made me do it –’ He reached out for her again. ‘Abi, listen!’

‘No! You listen. Leave me alone.’ She tried to dodge backwards, and came up hard against the end of a pew.

He caught her by the shoulders. Suddenly his voice changed. ‘You’ve hurt me, Abi.’ There was blood seeping down his chin.

And I’ll hurt you again.’ She could feel the panic mounting as his fingers bit into her flesh. She tried to wriggle free. ‘Let me go, you bastard!’

He released her shoulders and with a quick movement of one hand slapped her across the face. ‘Don’t use that language with me. Don’t you dare!’ His eyes were still frantic. ‘Don’t you see, we can help each other. I’m trying to be patient with you! You have to understand.’

‘Don’t bother!’ She managed to duck free of his grasp and lurched past him towards the door. In seconds she had wrenched it open and was outside, running down the path towards the cars.

Kier had waited for everyone else to arrive before he went back into the church next morning. Hovering in the doorway he looked round. The place was bright and full of noise; he could smell coffee, hear laughter, see the dust of centuries rising before the onslaught of brooms as one by one the pews were hauled out of their serried ranks towards the back of the church. There was no sign of Abi.

Kier rang her mobile twice, but it was switched off. Determinedly he put her out of his mind. There were enough people to keep the terrors away.

It was late by the time they had finished and his was the only car left parked in the lane. All he had to do was pull the door to and turn the key. He stood in the doorway and looked inside. The church was very quiet now the others had gone home. Hesitantly he stepped inside and looked around. He waited tensely, afraid for a moment they would still be there, the shadows, but there was nothing. The place felt clean and free. The churchyard had been tidied up, the pews stacked at the back of the nave. Tomorrow a van would collect them and they would go into storage until the diocese decided what to do with them. Pub furniture was a favoured option, he had heard. It would raise some much-needed money. Now the nave of the old building was empty it felt much larger than before. Somehow wrong. He pushed the thought aside, turning to face the altar. It was bare but for a plain blue cloth. No cross, no candlesticks, just that hideous old crucifix on the wall below the east window. He shuddered. That would have to go. The young people would hate it. They should have moved it today. Slowly he began to walk up what had been the aisle, the line of it still marked by the dust left on the old paving slabs where the pews had stood for so many years. Strange, that Abi hadn’t liked this idea of clearing the church. As a young new face she ought to represent the young avant-garde wing of the church, against all the ritual and the flummery. He shook his head sadly. How could he have messed up so badly with her? Everything he had said and done she had misunderstood. He shivered. She was strong. Yet she had seen the ghosts. He bit the knuckle of his finger thoughtfully. And she hadn’t seemed to mind. She hadn’t been afraid.

He shook his head. He was beginning to have serious second thoughts about Abi. He had thought her capable, able to cope with any phenomena which manifested here, in the church, but perhaps he was wrong in thinking that was a good thing. Perhaps she was the cause of the unrest. He stared round, his eyes darting here and there into the shadows. Maybe people were right in having reservations about women in the priesthood.

Could he have been so wrong about her? At the beginning he had thought she was everything a good priest should be. Was it his fault she was veering off the path like this? Surely they would have spotted any problems at college when they were first assessing her suitability for the priesthood. He shook his head. Spiritual healing, voices. Superstition. And now ghosts! She had seen the ghosts in here, in this church! He shuddered. He turned round, forcing himself to stay calm. They had gone. No, they had never been here. After all, he had seen nothing. Not really. It was all imagination. It always had been, since he was a child. A residue of nightmares. In a dark old building it was easy to think one had seen things. Nothing but shadows, that was all. His hands were beginning to sweat. He rubbed his face and winced. The bruise where she had hit him hurt. His tooth still felt wobbly. For a while this morning he had thought it was going to fall out. But he shouldn’t have slapped her. That was unforgivable. He had lost his temper and that was not acceptable behaviour. He had prayed for hours last night, trying to see a way through the mess, pleading with God to make her see sense. To make her understand how much he needed her.

The obvious answer of course was that she needed him as much as he needed her. If he could give her the strength to overcome her weaknesses, show her the true path then she would be in a position to help him. Or would she? Would she always be a danger, a threat to his sanity? He had a sudden picture of her clear passionate eyes, her wild hair and he felt another clammy frisson of fear.

There was a sound behind him, a creak from the choir stalls which they had left in place for now. He turned round quickly, listening. Nothing. Then, suddenly, a small rattle as though someone had dropped a coin. He shivered nervously, forcing himself to stand still, trying to pull himself together. Flakes of plaster probably fell now and then from loose patches in the vaulted roof. All their banging and crashing earlier in the day would have shaken the structure a bit. He found himself turning round again, acutely aware of the emptiness around him. It had been fun in here earlier, with the others here. There had been a constant stream of banter and easy conversation and laughter. A couple of people had brought thermoses of coffee. He had forgotten it was a church for a while. It was just a job to be done; a space to be cleared, a re-allocation of resources. When the others had gone he had stayed behind to turn off the lights. Check everything was all right. Lock up. Abi hadn’t come to help of course, but he had hardly expected her to do that after last night. He frowned. He still didn’t understand why she had reacted the way she had when he had kissed her. Women usually found him attractive. He had thought she found him attractive. She always seemed to like his company. Or she had until recently. He sighed and shook his head. He was offering her an awful lot. A home, a future, support. And she needed no end of support, he saw that now.