'Til Death Do Us Part (88 page)

“More pain than
damage, probably only a sprain,
” BT answered.

“No time for bravado
, my friend.
If
you can’t climb
,
we’ll do something else
,
because nobody is going to be
able to lift your ass that high,
” I told him.

I looked at him for a few moments
,
trying to see how good my ‘bullshit detector’ was calibrated. I didn’t detect any deception. “Fine, Tommy
,
can you control the zombies?”

“No, I lost a lot with my sister’s death. And there
’s more that I need to tell you,” h
e replied.

“Can it wait?” I asked.

“It can
,
but not for long.”

Tha
t sounded much more ominous than
I was ready for. “Alright
,
give me a few minutes, I’m going to try to find a gun and make as much noise
as possible to pull them my way.
When
you have an opening
,
go for it, because I’m sure any zombies that
are in the woods will come back.
I would imagine we’ll be under siege again.

“Will it ever stop
,
Mike?” Tracy asked.

I shrugged my shoulders. “One minute at a time
,
my love, one minute at a time.” I kissed her forehead, went about another twenty feet down the tree li
ne in case there were any eagle-
eyed zombies that saw my point of origin and my group. I made it to the fence before I w
as spotted. Fuck they were fast.
I nearly lost my footing as
I jumped over the nearly filled-
in trench. The zombies were closing in fast, I was down to milliseconds with whether to stand and fight or drop the weapons and jump. If I miscalculated and slipped
,
it would be over before I hit the ground. Breath was coming out of me in great plumes as I fought for more speed, I felt a zombie
’
s hand brush up against me as I launched forward and up, my
right hand wrapped around a ban
ist
er.
I semi-missed with my left hand
,
ripping the fingernai
l of my middle finger clean off;
the pain was significant but not a hindrance, not at that moment anyway.
I’d had the good fortune to be alive for over four decades without ever losing a fingernail, now I’d lost two in less than a week, life is funny like that. I was just praying it didn’t come in threes.
I quickly pulled my legs up and onto the lip of the deck.
Zombies began to pool under me.
I had the strange urge to piss on their heads. Hey! I said it was strange, don’t judge me.

I felt much better as I climbed over the railing and onto the relative safety of the structure. I entered the house quickly and quietly not sure what to expect.
The
house was as quiet as the woods had been, but this was worse because there should have been sound.

“Hello?” I asked expectantly. I felt mighty exposed at that moment with nothing in my hands. I approached the darkened kitchen and grabbed the first thing I came into contact with, a large cast iron frying pan, I felt like I was in the UK, no firearms and all. I grabbed a small pot when I realized that noting was up here with me, I would search for everyone else when I was sure, that Tracy, BT, Azile
,
and Tommy were safe.

I went out onto the deck and raised my pan laden hand high to the area in the trees where they were. I wanted to let them know I was alright
,
then
I went to the far side of the house and banged the living shit out of them.

“Dinner assholes!” I shouted, oh and they came, in droves. My plan was working a little better than I had intended. I moved further back down the deck away from Tracy’s approach.

I was torn between keeping the zombies attention on me, checking on Tracy’s progress
,
and finding out the fate of the rest of my family. And still I banged pots over my head like a fucking loon. Then the real fun began as shots rang out. I tossed the pan and pot at the zombies and ducked back into the house (Nancy would la
ter yell at me for tossing her cookw
are), and back out the French doors on the other side.

Ron, Gary, Travis
,
and Justin were giving cover fire for the
ir
running mother
or sister-in-law as the case may be.

“Mom needs longer legs,
” Travis said as he chambered another round.

“Here!” Ron said
,
tossing me a Mossberg.

“How?” I asked.

“Closed-
circuit
TV.
Shut up and start shooting,” h
e said.

Tommy was following behind, the zombies had closed in behind him and unlike me he swung his swords like a ninja, a d
eadly assassin ninja. The death
he was dealing was artistic in its fury and form. Our job on the deck was to keep the zombies from the sides and the
front;
our shots were getting closer and closer to Azile, Tracy
, and BT. S
oon we would be firing on their position.

“They’re not going to make it,
” Ron said as he feverishly shoved new rounds in his magazine.

“Trav
, trade me!” I yelled to hi
m
. H
e was putting a new
magazine
in the Armalite
MP
-4. There was no hesitation as he handed me the thirty round assault rifle for the
five
rounds of slugs the
shotgun held. “Fuck, fuck, fuck,” I said—
or ma
ybe thought—
as I jumped down off the deck.

They were twenty feet away as I started to fire. I advanced a step or two, firing repeatedly.

“Da
d!” Travis yelled. “Magazine!” h
e yelled down
as I heard it thud behind me.
I silently thanked him as I continued to mow the zombies down trying to give my loved ones some running room. It was working but partly due to the fact that I was now on the menu and they were coming my way.

“…twenty-nine, thirty,
” I said as my breech stayed open, I quickly ejected the spent magazine
and twirled to find the new one.
I banged it against my leg to lose any
dirty, and
once I pulled and released the charging handle I was back in business. Good thing
,
too, because they were close enough to read the serial number on the barrel.

“Ron…
gonna need some help!” I
yelled as I started to back up.
Getting
onto the deck was not going to
happen;
we were going to be underneath it soon.

“Far side of the house! There’s a barred window
I can open up to get you in!” h
e shouted.

I quickly motioned for Tracy to come under the deck and towards the house. She looked longingly at the safety above her and ran to the house like it was a safe zone in a particularly rough game of Tag. Azile was next and a fighting retreating BT pulled up next to her. Tommy was still a one man Cuisinart but his setting was rapidly going from puree to chop.

“Around the house!” I shouted loudly
,
punctuating my words with rifle fire. I had lost count of my rounds
, but I was at least half
way through my magazine and we now had no further support from above.

W
e were a moving bubble of death. Tommy was
now
to our side
,
holding the horde at bay. The swords looked like they were getting heavier by the second
as his neck
severing swipes were now becoming belly gutting strokes and soon would become soprano makers if you catch my meaning. BT was
pushing ahead in front
, hacking zombies as if they were wheat and he was a harvester. I was selectively shooting zombies as I brought up the rear.
Occasionally,
a glint of metal would fly by my face as Tracy felt the need to hack at a zombie.

“I like my nose where it is
, woman,
” I told her.

T
hen my backpedaling
feet walked into her. I stole a quick glance
up ahead
. We were stalled.

“BT?” I yelled.

“Stuck
, man.
”

I heard splintering wood o
ver my head.
Travis and Justin were ripping up floorboards.

“Dad
,
you need ammo?” Justin asked.

“Like a
fat kid needs a Twinkie. Tommy…
need a little cover while I get this.”

Tommy started to hack by my side along with the
ever dangerous thrusts of Tracy.
There was a good chance I was going to come out of this battle a eunuch.

Justin was reaching down
to
me while Travis kept ripping boards up with a crowbar. He got about three up when the barrel of his rifle came through.

Fuck yeah!
I thought as he started blasting zombies to our front.

With a renewed vigor, I heard BT’s war cry, zombies fell as his adrenaline surged. I drained the remainder of my magazine, giving us a little breathing room, although breathing was not on the top of favorite list right now, not with the smell that accompanied it anyway. Tommy focused his energy back to our side, as I replaced my magazine and began to fire.

“I’ll have another one ready soon dad.” Justin said as he was shoving 5.56 rounds into a fresh magazine.

I didn’t have the heart to tell him that we didn’t have another minute. If we didn’t get into the house soon, we were done for.

We were again moving but slowly, the zombies were paying in buckets of blood for the precious inches we were gaining. I was on my twelfth round when massive rifle fire came from our front.

I couldn’t see what was going on, but it was fast enough that I thought it was automatic gunfire.
If
Ron was holding out, I was going to be pissed, that was provided we made it.

“BT?” I screamed over the din.

“Gatling gun I think!” h
e yelled.

“Are y
ou shitting me?” I asked softly.
Now
it was worth living just to see what the hell he was talking about. 

The zombies were human once and they could not sustain the damage we were inflicting, Travis turned his attention to our backs as we passed his position above.

“You’re uncle is going
to be pissed when he sees th
is damage
,
” I said as I went underneath him
.

“I’ll deal with that later.” He smiled with a strain.

The
Gatling
gunfire
stopped ahead as I imagined Ron
was heading back into the basement. BT moved to the side as Azile and Tracy entered
through the over
sized window. Gary was holding the bars up.

“Go
,
man.” I tapped BT.

“Go
,
Tommy!” I yelled.

I fired off the remai
nder of my rounds and ducked in.
Gary let the bars clang down and locked them in place with first a pin and then a lock that I figure was first developed to hold an elephant in place.

Gary hugged me.

“Good to see you
,
man! Where’s the Gatling gun?” I asked.

Ron was heading into the recesses of the basement.

“Whatcha got there
,
brother?” I called out.

“Nothing for you!” h
e said back.

I caught up to
him, it was a thing of beauty—
eight gun barrels shone brightly.

“It’s a .22 c
aliber Gatling gun reproduction,” h
e said defensively.

“You should have told me,
” I said
,
trying to place my hand on it.

“Mike
,
it cost me ten grand there’s no fucking way I was going to tell you about it.”

I was sort of hurt, but I wouldn’t have told me about it either. “Is this what was in your trap door in your closet?” I asked
,
putting
it all together.
This
was why he was so adam
ant about not letting me see it.
I had wrongly figured it was porn, although this thing had me drooling as if it were.