'Til Death (9 page)

              "Been there, done that, sweetheart."

I stood up from the table and walked out of the restaurant heated. Boan was right behind me and the driver was already waiting. John opened up my car door and I got in.

              "Boan, I . . ."

              "I don’t want to hear it Ciara. Damn, I got to be a dumbass to think you could actually change," Boan said, while looking at me in disgust.

              "I did change; I don’t fuck with Tez anymore." I tried explain to him.

              "Then why was he at your fucking house?" His question was more like a roar and I felt my anger rising but I was trying my best to remain calm.

              "To tell me he plans on killing you," I stated slowly pronouncing every word for him like he was slow.
              "And what did you say?"

              "That I was going to kill him."

              "You told me that you were going to kill me when I said I was going to kill Tez, but you turned around and shot him. So when he plans on killing me, are you going to turn around and shoot me?"

Before I could answer, both of our phones rang. I reached for my phone and realized that I had fifteen missed calls. I became uneasy.

              "Tosh, what’s up?" I asked.

              "It’s Lo." Tosh voice sounded sad and like she was trying to be quiet.

              My heart begin to pound in my ribcage. "What happened?"

              "Her mother is in the hospital and we are here. Can you come please?"

              "Of course."

Tosh gave me the information and I hung up the phone. I told the driver where to go next.

              "That was my mom; she is at the hospital with them. I’m about to call Culprit and tell him to meet us there." Boan said.

              "Ok." We rode in silence for a while. Neither one of us forgot about the altercation, we just wasn't in the mood to talk about it until we knew what was going on with Lo. I loved the fact that Boan cared about my friends like I did. He has known them for as long as he has known me. Boan's mother was a mother to all of us and we appreciated that. No matter what happens between Boan and I, certain things just would never change. We pulled up to the hospital and I took a deep breath trying to get my nerves in order.

              "I really had a good time tonight and I will show you that I have changed." I said to Boan before I got out of the car.

Boan

I had a good time with Ciara. I loved her; I was still in love with her, but my trust in her wasn’t there anymore. I didn’t take too kindly to that bitch-ass nigga, Tez threatening me, either. Best believe if I had my gun on me, I would have deaded that nigga flat-out. I walked behind Ciara into the hospital. The dress she had on clung to her like a second skin. I wanted to rip it off and fuck the shit out of her, but I had to get my libido in check. I followed her, and I saw my mom. My mom stood up and I hugged her.

              "No matter what happens tonight, I did what I thought was right," my mom said. Her words gave me an uneasy feeling about being there. I walked over to Lo and hugged her and Tosh. Culprit came running through the halls. He looked at Lo, and she looked at him. He walked right over to her and hugged her.

              "I’m here, and I’m not going anywhere," Culprit said to her. Lo buried her face in his chest and cried.

              "Her mom has cancer; she don’t have long to live," Tosh said.

              "I need you two to come in the room with me," my mom said, while pointing to me and Lo. I didn’t ask any questions.

              "I’m coming too," Culprit said, while still holding Lo.

              "Well, all of you might as well come," my mom said. We all followed her, and Ciara grabbed my hand. I didn’t let her go. We walked into Lo’s mom’s room; the woman was so petite and frail that I wanted to cry for Lo. There was a man in the corner that I had never seen before. He was around the same age as my mom, and tall and muscular. He looked at me and at Lo, and put his head down. He had this confidence about him, and I felt like I knew him. Lo sat down next to her mom, and my mom went and stood by the bed.

              "The truth needs to come out," my mom said. Lo’s mom nodded her head. What the fuck was going on?

              "Lo, I’m so sorry about everything. You deserve a better mother than me, and I’m so happy that Sheila took you in and treated you as her own," Lo’s mom said. I didn’t even know she knew my mom.

              "I forgive you; just rest, okay?"

              "No, because you need to know this before I go."

              "Know what?" Lo’s mom looked at mine, then at the random man.

              "Lo, your mother, Lynnda and I used to be best friends a while back," my mom said.

              "Ok."

              "I’m not finish. We did everything together, practically inseparable. We had the same taste in men, and that was our downfall. We both fell in love with the same man," my mom said, while looking at the man.

              "Hold the fuck up," I said, getting angry.

              "No, Barren, let me finish. We fell in love with the same man. He dated the both of us behind our backs. He married me, but still messed with Lynnda. I found out, and didn’t want to have anything to with Lynnda, especially when I found out she was pregnant around the same time I was, by the same man."

              "What are you trying to tell me?" Lo said.

              "This man standing here…his name is Brandon.
Brandon Jones
. Mrs. Jones’ husband and Boan’s father," Lo’s mom said. Ciara grabbed my hand tighter and began to rub my arm.

              "So you mean to tell me that Lo’s my . . . and he is . . . " I couldn’t even say the words.

              "Yes," my mom whispered.

              "I thought you told me my father died."

              "He got locked up, and when he got out he tried to see me, but I told him I didn’t want anything to do with him, and I didn't want him to have anything to do with you. I was hurt and bitter. I’m so sorry."

              "Don’t blame your mother,” Brandon interrupted. "Son, it was my fault."

              "Naw, don’t talk to me, nigga. All of this is straight bullshit."

              "Calm down," Ciara whispered to me.

              "I know you feel betrayed right now," my mom said.

              "You don’t know how I feel. What about Lo? Y’all tell us this shit on her mother’s death-bed? That’s fucked-up.
All
y’all are
fucked-up
."

              "Boan, please," Lo said.

I just walked out. What the fuck just happened?

Lo

Culprit drove me home. I didn’t want to watch my mother die. I knew as soon as I left the hospital that she had. I couldn’t believe the news that I was just given. Nobody knew where Boan was, and Ciara went home. She probably was hoping he would come to her. I didn’t know how to feel. I took a shower and got into my bed. Culprit was there waiting for me. He had on basketball shorts, and his shirt was off. I had on a big t-shirt, and crawled into his waiting arms. I needed him more than anything right then.

              "I know you’re not ok, but I’m here and I mean that. I’m not going anywhere," Culprit whispered to me.

              "I’m sorry for what I said to you. You’re not like your parents," I said.

              "We’ll talk about that later. Let’s just sleep, all right?" Culprit said. I moved my face from the crook of his neck and kissed him. His lips were so soft, and I missed kissing him. He sucked on my lips. My hand moved over his muscles down to his six-pack. I felt his erection against my leg, and instantly got wet. I crawled on top of him and kissed him deeper. I wanted him inside me. I wanted him to take my pain away just for the moment. Culprit gently pushed me off of him.

              "What’s wrong?" I asked breathlessly.

              "You’re vulnerable. I don’t want to make love to you while you’re in a vulnerable state. I want you to be well aware of your actions. When I penetrate you and claim you, I don’t want you to regret it the next day. When I make you cum over and over again, I want you to be aware of only me, and not disturbing news in the back of your mind. I love you, and I don’t plan to go anywhere anytime soon. So let’s just rest."

To say I was speechless would have been an understatement. While in Culprit's arms, I heard his soft breathing, and I knew he was drifting off to sleep. On the other hand, I felt restless. My mother had just passed, I just met my father, who happened to also to be Boan’s father, and on top of all that, Culprit was in my bed. I felt like things were moving too fast. I couldn’t deal. If life had a pause button, this would have been the perfect moment to use it. Right there, right then. Everything I thought I was sure about had changed that night. My reality had altered in more ways than one. I knew that when I woke up the next day, things would be different. Nothing would be the same after that night.

Ciara

              It was three in the morning. I’d been blowing up Boan’s phone. I was sitting in my living room worrying my ass off. Lo was with Culprit, which was a shocker, but not compared to the news we had all been hit with that night. I knew Boan’s head was messed up. His mother had lied to him all his life about his father. Not only had his father popped up out of nowhere, but Lo was his sister. This was something that neither of us would have
ever
expected. I just hoped that it wouldn’t change everybody’s friendship. There was a knock on my front door, and I ran to it. I opened it, and it was Boan, still dressed in his suit from our earlier date. I had changed into some boy shorts and a tank-top. I opened up the door wider, and Boan walked in. Boan didn’t say anything. He walked straight upstairs. I followed him. He went into my bedroom and I stood in my doorframe. Boan began to undress in front of me. I just watched him. I didn’t expect him to get completely naked, but he did. Boan never slept with any clothes on. Boan crawled under the covers and sat up and stared right back at me.

              "I can’t believe she lied to me," Boan stated in awe.

              "Your mother was hurt. She couldn’t see past that."

              "That’s not a good enough excuse."

I walked over to the bed and sat facing him.              "I’m not making excuses for her. I’m just trying to explain it from her point of view," I said. Boan rubbed his waves and shook his head.

              "Lo is my sister though. How long was she planning on keeping all of this a secret from me?"

              "I don’t know. You and your mother have to talk."

              "I don’t want to talk to her."

              "You have to eventually, Boan," I said. He lifted the covers up, hinting for me to get into bed with him. I got up and crawled next to him. He wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me closer. My back was facing him.

              "The only person I want to be around is you, Ciara," Boan whispered in my ear.

              His lips brushed my neck lightly causing a shiver to go down my spine, "You only saying that because you want to have sex."

              "No, you gone give me that anyway. I’m saying that because I love you." Boan grabbed me tighter, and I didn’t say anything. He took his other hand and moved my hair off of my neck, placing soft gentle kisses on the back of it and along my shoulders. I was trying my best to hold in a moan, but my body was drawing near him on its own, begging for more. His hand crept up my tank-top and stopped right below my breast. His other hand went into my boy shorts.

              "I’ve loved you since I first saw you," Boan whispered to me, still kissing my neck. I felt him getting hard behind me. I tried to turn around and face him, but he kept me in place. His finger grazed my clit, and I jumped.

              "What you jumping for?" Boan asked, but I didn’t reply. He inserted his finger into me and I couldn't hold my moan back anymore. I was dripping wet. His other hand grabbed my breast, stimulating my nipples as I felt my orgasm building. I was trying not to moan, but the sensation was feeling amazing.

              "How does that feel?"

Boan's voice was gruff in my ear and he knew I couldn’t answer him because I was on the verge of gratification. I came all on his fingers. Boan removed his hand and put them in his mouth, then turned me on my back and undressed me. I pulled him closer to me and kissed my juices off his soft lips.

              "I’m tired of fighting this. I’m tired of fighting
us
.” Boan admitted, while entering me slowly. His ten inches opened me up and I clenched his arm while sighing into his muscular chest.