'Til Death (8 page)

Lo

I was in the guest bedroom pretending to be asleep when I heard Ciara come in the house. I almost told them how ashamed I was, and how inadequate I felt; how I was a murderer and killed my own child for a promise of never-ending love that didn’t even last. I was no better than the next ol’ woman.
Damn Culprit
. I could still feel him in my heart. Ciara was right. I was still in love with him, and I hated myself for that. I was my mother. Culprit never even attempted to say anything to me when we were around each other. He probably didn't even want to speak to me. I fell asleep, consumed with my thoughts. I wasn’t surprised to see him in my dreams.

* * * *

              I woke up to the smell of breakfast downstairs. "Who cooked?" I asked when I entered the kitchen and saw Ciara and Tosh.

              "Damn sure wasn’t me," Tosh said.

I grabbed a plate and sat next to Tosh.

              "I got a date tonight with Boan." Ciara announced glowing from the smile on her face.

              "That’s funny; you two must have forgotten that his mother’s barbecue is tonight," I reminded her.

              "Fuck; it is ain’t it?" Ciara said, taking out her phone and sending a text . . . probably to Boan.

              "We should bring dates," Tosh looked at us excitedly.

              "Definitely not." I shattered her request quick.

              "Why not? You do have somebody you can bring, right?"

              "Yup, and I’m bringing them."

              "Them?" Ciara said, looking confused.

              "Tweedledee and Tweedledum," I said, while pointing between them. I laughed at the stale expression on their faces.

              "Boan just texted me back and said he’s already over there. So y’all want to get ready now?"

              "We might as well, we did sleep late," Tosh pointed at the clock.

              We went our separate ways to get dressed. I really didn’t want to go, but I didn’t want to tell them that. I didn’t want to see Culprit, or be around him. Fuck. It took us two hours to get ready, and we rode in Ciara’s truck.

              "Y’all hoes got more clothes at my house than I do." Ciara said.

That was a fact, but we had clothes at each other’s houses. We pulled up in front of Boan’s mother’s house; she was practically our mom.

              "Wait, Lo, can you at least try to be civil to Culprit?" Tosh said. I looked at Tosh, and then got out of the truck.

              "Guess that was a no," Ciara said.

I rang the doorbell, and Boan’s petite mother answered. "Awww, look at my girls. Now all my children are here," Mrs. Jones said. She gave us all hugs and ushered us to the back room. Her friends were sitting in the front. Boan and Culprit were in the back with the bar and pool table.

              "Well, here are the rats." Boan teased, while laughing. He and Culprit smelled like the bar too.

              "Don’t start." Ciara snapped at him.

              "If I do, will you be able to finish?" Boan said to her. She smiled at him, and he winked back.

              "We still on for later tonight?" Boan asked, while taking a sip of his Henny. Ciara nodded her head. I looked at Culprit. He had on tan cargo shorts with a simple black shirt and a fitted on. He still looked sexy. I looked at Tosh, who was texting away on her phone.

              "What were y’all doing yesterday, male bashing?" Boan asked us.

              "No, we were getting drunk." Tosh responded.

              "Your favorite thing to do, huh Tosh?" Culprit asked her. I looked at him, and he had a grin on his face and his eyes were glassed over. He was drunk and high. I had a bad feeling. When Culprit was this way, usually his mouth was uncensored.

              "You know it." Tosh said, laughing. Culprit poured Boan a drink and made himself another one.

              "What’s on your mind, Lorean?" Culprit asked.  Everybody turned their attention to us. I was too shocked to even respond to him. We haven't spoken directly to each other in years, so at first I thought I imagined him saying my name, but I felt his eyes on me.

              "You forgot how to talk? Or did you just forget how to talk to me?" Culprit asked.

              "I don’t have anything to say to you." I retorted.

Culprit took off his hat and ran his hand through his hair. He looked at me, and I stared into his hazel eyes. "I don’t believe you."

              "That’s not my problem." I said to him. I got up and he got up too.

              "Stop running away from me!" he barked at me.

I looked up at him and I felt my rage at the back of my throat. "How about you stop coming the hell around then."

              "You're not your mother, Lo." He said in a low voice while trying to reach for me. I slapped him as hard as I could. I felt tears in my eyes. I pushed him, and he grabbed me.

              "You don’t have a right to tell me that. I fucking hate you. I swear I do. You promised to love me forever, to never leave me. It was supposed to be me and you, remember? Then I got pregnant. You told me to abort and I did. You weren't even there when I got the abortion. You were probably fucking that bitch. I chose you over my own child. And for what, because it didn't get me anywhere. I abandoned my child just like how my mother did me when she thought a man was more important than her daughter, and how your parents just up and left you without looking back." I realized then what I had just screamed to Culprit, and immediately regretted it. He continued to stare at me. A single tear rolled down his face, and he turned away and walked out of the room. I put my head in my hands and started to take deep breaths. I wanted to scream. I felt arms wrap around me, and I knew it was my girls. They finally knew the truth, and it felt like the weight of the world was lifted off my shoulders.

Culprit

She said I was just like my parents. Those words, coming from Lo, crushed me. I was at home, sitting on the couch. I wanted to be alone. I hadn’t gone with her to get the abortion because I was terrified. When I asked Lo to get the abortion, she said ok. She didn’t put up a fight, or even bring it back up. I thought she wanted one. If I had gone with her, I would have tried to stop her. I loved Lo to death, and our unborn child even more. I didn’t know that’s how she really felt about me. I heard the back door open and close, and I knew it was Boan.

              "You good, bro?" Boan asked me.

              "Yea." I lied.

              "Nigga you lying like shit," was Boan’s rebuttal as he sat down across from me.

              "Why haven't you ever told anybody what really happened?" Boan questioned me.

              "I guess I thought y’all would look at us differently. I didn’t want to talk about it. That’s something that I have to live with for the rest of my life."

              "It is. But you know you not like your people, right?"

              "I know, but for her to think that about me fucks me up real talk."

              Boan shrugged his shoulders, "Well, prove to her that you not like that."

              "How I’m supposed to do that?" I look at him like he grew two heads.

              "Shit nigga, I don’t know. I’m sure you’ll figure it out."

Ciara

Lo told us everything. I couldn’t believe some of the shit. I had to walk away from her, because I was so fucking mad at the dude her mom was with. If I had known, I definitely would have killed him. Tosh and Lo both went home. I knew Lo really wanted to be alone and get her mind right. I was getting ready for my date with Boan. I just got my hair done, along with my nails and toes. I called the car service, because it should have been on its way. I had on a tight, form-fitting dress, and some high heels; they were red bottoms, of course. I looked outside and saw the car that I ordered for the night. A Maybach 57 S. I walked out of my house and towards the car. My driver introduced himself. His name was John, and he opened up my car door for me. I gave him directions to our next destination. I texted Boan and told him I was on my way. The car pulled up in front of Culprit’s house. Boan walked out, looking gorgeous. His suit was all back, and he had on a crisp gray shirt underneath, and his shoes matched his shirt. He looked at the Maybach, and shook his head and laughed. John opened up the car door for him, and he sat down.

              "Well this is nice. You showed out tonight huh?" Boan asked me. He looked me up and down and licked his lips.

              His seductive gaze had my body heating up and I had to take a quick breath. "Yea, I guess so."

              "You should take me out more often," Boan mumbled laughing. The driver was making his way downtown Detroit, the city lights illuminating the night scene. 

              Boan was staring outside taking in what had changed "Where we going?" he asked.

              "Just sit back and wait." I couldn't help but notice his impatience and smiled.

We pulled up in front of the restaurant, and all heads turned. John put the Maybach in park, and came to open up our doors. I walked around, and Boan looked me up and down. "That dress is doing wonders for my imagination tonight," Bone whispered in my ear.

              "I don’t give it up on the first date." I whispered back.

              "We’ll see." Boan said. He leaned down and gave me a kiss, so soft and gentle I yearned for more, but I kept my composure.

We walked into the place and I gave the waiter our names for our reservations. We walked all the way to the back in a more secluded area. There were only a couple of people back there, and in order to be back there, you had to have big money. We were seated, and ordered our drinks.

              "You trying to get some tonight huh?" Boan said, smiling at me.

              "Why you say that?" I asked, laughing at him.

              Boan leaned in. "’Cause you trying to pay for the dick. You not fooling anybody."

The waiter came back and took our orders. No matter where we went, Boan ordered the same thing. A fucking steak.

              "Let me pay for the meal." Boan requested, his deep baritone voice causing me to clench my legs. I had to pull it together.

              "No, I took you out. I should pay." I demanded.

              "We’ll discuss it later."

It didn't take long for the waiter to bring our food out. We ended up ordering more drinks to go with our meal since neither of us was driving tonight. We ate, laughed, and reminisced on good times. We didn’t fight or get mad like we've been doing. The night went better than I thought it would. The world on the outside was dead to us. We ordered desert, and it came.

              "Come sit over here with me." Boan’s voice was low and he had a small smile on his.

I moved my chair to his side of the table. We fed each other. Boan put his hand on my bare thigh. I looked at him and he kissed me. I opened my mouth wider for him so his tongue could slip in. I sucked on his bottom lip and his hand moved higher. I pulled away and looked at him.

              "What happened to us being just friends?" I whispered against his soft lips.

              "Let’s get out of here." Boan demanded, his hand creeping higher.

He called the waiter over and gave him his credit card before I could reach for mine, but I was distracted by Boan and wondering was he going to play with my pearl or not. I was turned on big time, and he knew it, and by the way he kept adjusted himself, I knew he was turned on too.

              "Awww, look at the happy couple." I heard the voice, and knew our night was over.

              "Tez," Boan said, with a frown on his face. Boan removed his hand from my thigh, turning ice cold in a matter of seconds. I was extra pissed because one, Tez irritated my life, and two, all that sexual tension between Boan and I dissipated in 2.5 seconds.

              "Long time no see," Tez greeted.

              "What do you want?" I asked him with my face twisted up.

              "Did you tell Boan that I was at your new place not too long ago?" Tez queried.

Boan looked from me and back at Tez.

              "Guess not, but I had a message to give." Tez put his hands in his pockets, looking calm and collected.

              "What was that message?" Boan asked.

              "I’m going to kill you," Tez said to Boan.

Boan smiled at him.

              "Sounds promising." Boan smiled at Tez and then winked at him.

The waiter came back with Boan’s credit card. Boan got up and walked out of the restaurant.

              "See you around Ciara," Tez blew me a kiss.

              "Fuck you." I couldn't stand his ass.