Tiger's Voyage (53 page)

My breath caught as his words faded. The room became as still and as sacred as a church. It was as if he’d just taken a vow. He couldn’t tear his eyes away, and I couldn’t either. I didn’t even question Ren’s sincerity. I absolutely knew he meant every word he said. If there was anything he left out, it was that the object of his devotion wasn’t worthy of him … that holding something as precious as his heart had almost destroyed her … that she was afraid that if he left her again she wouldn’t survive.

As I sat there looking into Ren’s eyes, I had an epiphany. The green dragon had forced me to open my heart to Ren again, to admit the depth of my feelings, and in that moment, I suddenly realized that I was the most selfish person on Earth. I was a coward. A chicken. I was implementing my modus operandi again, my fallback for emotional trauma. Keeping Kishan near me meant I didn’t have to risk anything. He was my shield.

He protected me from the relationship roller coaster ride that was Ren. I loved Kishan, and I believed I could be happy with him, but I also had to acknowledge that it wasn’t exactly the same. Ren’s love was an all-consuming fire, but Kishan was more like … a space heater. Comfortable, steady, reliable. Both kept me warm, but one could burn me. Singe me to ashes. If Kishan left me, I would cry, I would hurt, but I would move on, sadder but wiser.

Loving Ren was like loving an atom bomb. When he went off, and it was just a matter of time before he did again, he would destroy everything around in a ten-mile radius. Of course,
I
always managed to be standing in the middle of the bull’s-eye. Shrapnel had mangled my heart. Twice. Kishan
tried
to pick up the pieces and hold them together by sheer will, but there were gaps. Pieces were missing.

Oh, my heart tried to fool me. It beat thickly, warmed by Ren’s words, by his promises, but it wouldn’t matter in the end. Something or someone would take Ren from me, or he’d once again sacrifice himself nobly, and I’d be stuck in the same place I was now, only Kishan would have given up on me by then. I’d be totally, desperately alone. Just like with Li before, I had to choose. I had to pick between the consuming love of Ren that I was so desperate for I sometimes forgot to breathe, and the steady glow, the endless kindness and comfort that Kishan offered me.

After a long moment of thick silence, Ren sucked in a lungful of air. His chest heaved as if he’d forgotten how to breathe. I responded in the same way, and the room came slowly back into focus. I shoved my thoughts to the side and tried to focus my attention on the task at hand while Ren turned his attention back to Jīnsèlóng.

“Do you doubt the truth of our words now, dragon?”

Jīnsèlóng’s neck had turned purple as if the very idea was choking him. I couldn’t help but giggle. The dragon turned toward me and held out the Scarf. “Take it back! I won’t lose my treasure to you, you … you succubus!”

Ren raised a hand. “Now, now, Jīnsèlóng. Do you think us novices? We will not take it back. You won it, and her, fair and square.”

“Take it! Please! I’ll give you other jewels, more gold.”

Ren rubbed his jaw and considered it. “No. That’s not good enough. It’s quite a burden to be bound to her. You are only feeling the beginnings. Believe me … to take the Scarf back would cost a mighty sum.”

“Anything. You can have anything.” He leaned forward and whispered loudly, “She would make me give away all my treasure to … to humans. She’d have me,” he flapped his hands in the air, “
fairy
about leaving coins under pillows. That’s no life for a
dragon
! No! I won’t do it! You must take it back. I
beg
you!” the dragon pleaded.

I played along with their game and kept the dragon distracted by sending him meaningful glances. He set the Scarf gingerly on the arm of his chair and sat as far away from it as possible. I whispered for the Scarf to change shape from time to time, making heart-shaped pillows, cross-stitched handkerchiefs that said “I heart dragons” on them, and a pillowcase embroidered with Kelsey + Jīnsèlóng stitched all along the edges. The dragon squealed and twisted away uncomfortably each time.

After that the negotiations progressed quickly. Ren was able to get back everything we brought with us, plus safe passageway to the white dragon’s castle, some interesting information about the Seventh Pagoda and its gatekeeper, a commitment from the dragon for five centuries of safely escorting all manner of ships and aircraft, and ended with a variety of treasures, including the life-sized jade tiger. The dragon even ensured delivery. He clapped his hands and told us that all of our treasures would be found on our ship when we returned.

With the bartering complete, Jīnsèlóng abruptly stood and announced it was time for us to go. He would actually take us to the white dragon’s castle, which was also underwater, give us a warm introduction, and then leave. As Kishan and I began to head out of the room, Ren asked us to go on ahead without him. Kishan automatically reached out his hand for mine. I relished the warmth of it and stepped closer.

When Ren reappeared, he had a big smile on his face, and I noticed that he slipped something into his pocket as the dragon spoke.

The dragon walked with him and whispered conspiratorially, “Of course, of course,” patted Ren on the back as if greatly relieved, and said, “And I wish you
every
happiness too.” Then he hurried us to the door.

Ren’s smile only stayed until he noticed I was holding Kishan’s hand. He growled quietly, but I turned my head, avoiding eye contact. As Jīnsèlóng passed us, I couldn’t help but flutter my fingers at him in a flirty wave.

He squeaked and, giving me a wide berth, said, “Now when I change into my true form and leave the castle, you will only have a moment before you begin to feel the effects of the ocean’s pressure. Take a deep breath and swim out to me, grab onto one of my spikes and then you will be able to breathe comfortably, and the pressure will lessen. And try not to slip off, that would be … unfortunate.”

The dragon ran a few steps and dove through the invisible barrier of his front door. He swam a bit as a man, and then the castle rocked slightly as his dragon form burst from his human skin like a tidal wave. His long tail ended in a fin and, though he had claws, there was webbing in the spaces between. His sinuous golden body sparkled in the dark water lighting the area around him with a saffron glow. He turned and appeared to be waiting impatiently for us.

Kishan squeezed my hand, dove through the barrier, and found a seat between two spikes of the dragon’s back. Ren put his hand on my shoulder but I shrugged it off and dove through the barrier. He followed right behind me and soon passed me, swimming with powerful strokes. I sensed the pressure immediately. I felt as if I were being crushed like trash in a compactor.

Ren paused, noticed my distress, and turned around and swam back to me. Kishan started to swim back too but I waved him off. Ren took my hand and pulled me along quickly. I was running out of air. As a last resort, I mentally asked the Scarf to stretch around a spike and drag me closer.

The minute the Scarf touched the dragon, he bucked and turned to stare fearfully at the threads. Kishan patted his sides, shrugged his shoulders, and grinned. Ren and I finally made it to the dragon’s back. I sat behind Kishan while Ren mounted behind me. He wrapped his arms around my waist and held me tightly. The pressure lessened and a bubble rose up and covered my face again so I could breathe.

The Scarf secured my body to Jīnsèlóng’s spike, and after peering at the three of us, and the Scarf in particular, the golden dragon shot through the black ocean, moving like a sidewinder. Every once in a while, Jīnsèlóng would look back at us and surge ahead quickly as if it were a wriggling worm being chased by a hungry fish.

The journey to the white dragon’s underwater lair was both wondrous and frightening. The golden dragon descended lower, swimming through a sea so black I started to panic and feel claustrophobic. I saw a flash of lights from time to time and stared in fascination as we passed tiny fish that glowed in the dark. An octopus shot out from an outcropping. Its mantle pulsed with red dots, like a Las Vegas marquee, before it disappeared.

I’d expected the depths of the ocean to be silent, but it wasn’t. Large animals hummed and called to one another, shocking my body with wave after wave of heavy vibrations. The water became colder. Ren wrapped his arms more tightly around me and pressed my back into his chest. A light penetrated the darkness. At first, I thought my mind was playing tricks on me but the longer I stared at it, the brighter it became.

We rushed toward the light. The dragon put on a burst of speed like a sprinter at the end of a race. It moved so fast, I almost missed the source of the light as we rose briefly above outcroppings and then descended again. I wondered if perhaps I had imagined it, but soon my brief glimpse became a reality as Jīnsèlóng sped to an underwater ice palace.

It jutted from the ocean floor like a crystal stalagmite. We rose over an incline and swam down onto an icy path. On each side of the path, frozen sculpted water plants and flowers sat in frosty beds. A crystal forest of trees rose up on either side, each tree lit from within with a different color, creating what appeared to be a neon city on the ocean floor. The dragon slowed, and I was able to glaze my finger over the leaf of a pink tree that burned with fiery orange in the middle.

I stared in wonder at the glittering masterpieces and wondered if the dragon had created them. The details—the branches and sparkling leaves, the sea-grass spikes jutting in straight points as they grew from the ice plants, the feathered fronds of underwater foliage—were so exact, they mimicked real plants and trees as if transported from another world.

The icy path the dragon followed angled up, and I saw thick steps carved into the ice. When we neared the palace, Jīnsèlóng veered to the right and entered a cave behind the castle. It slowly twisted through the tunnel, using just its tail for propulsion. All around us was a slick passageway of bright blue ice, lit from somewhere above. My curiosity about the white dragon was growing.

We headed toward a brightly lit hole in the ice, and Jīnsèlóng shot through it as if it could glide on the air as easily as it swam. It landed on a slick floor and dug its claws into the ice to keep from sliding. Ren, Kishan, and I hopped off the golden dragon’s back. This time we remained wet and we were freezing. I asked the Scarf to gather itself, and the dragon slumped in relief, shaking itself like a dog.

Jīnsèlóng morphed back into his human form and said, “Well, don’t just stand there. One of you strapping lads help me over to the sofa. A dragon falling on his behind is not very dignified,” he huffed.

I giggled while Jīnsèlóng murmured under his breath.

Kishan slid over to him on bare feet, and together the four of us made our way deeper into the castle. By the time we entered what I would call a sitting room, I was really cold, and my feet were sticking to the icy floor.

“We need some new clothes and shoes,” I whispered.

Ren nodded. “You first.”

I had the Scarf drape a curtain across the corner of the room and asked it to replace my clothes with winter gear, put two pairs of socks on my frozen feet, and a thick pair of slippers over those. While I was changing, I had it make clothing for the boys too so they wouldn’t have to wait as long. Using my inner heat, I carefully ran my palms over my hair to dry. When done, I felt much better but was still shivering.

After Ren and Kishan emerged in new clothes, and the three of us were snuggled close together on a couch to keep warm, I removed a glove and tried to warm Ren’s hand. His hand gently squeezed mine.

“Don’t,” he said. “Save your heat for yourself. We’ll be alright.”

I nodded and stuck my nose deeper into my wool scarf.

My teeth chattered, “Tttoo bad the Sscarff can’t mmakke heating blanketsss.”

I seriously pondered the possibility of warming a blanket with my hands for a minute and then discarded it. “Wwwell?” I asked Jīnsèlóng. “Where issss he? You pppromised to introduce usss.”

“He’ll be here in a minute,” the dragon replied snootily. “It’s not like he was expecting visitors.” Despite his arrogant attitude, Jīnsèlóng drummed his fingers nervously against the side table made from ice.

My backside was freezing on the ice couch. I shifted back and forth uncomfortably. Quickly realizing my problem, Ren lifted me onto his lap. He moved my legs on top of Kishan and wrapped his arms and coat around me.

“Is that better?”

I sighed. “Yes.” I pressed my nose into his chest.

Kishan frowned, but I held out my hand to him, and he pressed my gloved fingers to his lips with a grin.

Jīnsèlóng was very uncomfortable watching this. He squeaked impatiently, “Where can he be?” Then looked at Ren slyly and said, “I really should be getting back to my treasure. Aphrodite gets lonely without me, you see.” He smacked his palm against his head. “What was I thinking? It’s almost dusting time. You know what can happen to certain metals if they’re not dusted every twelve hours.”

Ren looked up at him; his lips had been pressed against my hair a moment before. “Relax,” he said. “You made a deal, and you’re not going anywhere until we get our introduction.”

The golden dragon threw an angry hand in the air. “Bah! Remind me never to barter again with tigers.”

I snorted, and he narrowed his eyes.

“Or females.” He slumped in his seat, took out a bag of jingling coins and began counting them carefully while cleaning them with his sleeve.

We didn’t have to wait much longer before a tall, white-haired man entered the room.

“Jīnsèlóng!” The white dragon’s voice pummeled us like sleet against a windowpane. “You know you should never bring anyone here unannounced! It is forbidden!”

The golden dragon whimpered, “I had no choice. They tricked the information out of me. It’s all the girl’s fault, you see. She—”

“Stop. I don’t want to hear one more word. I’ve told you time and again to give up your obsession with hoarding and bartering, and centuries later you still never listen. You never learn. Go away, and I will clean up your mess. As
usual
.”