Tied - Part Three (The Tied Series) (8 page)

The hot pull of his lips stoked the fire within me right back to life. “Mmm,” he groaned. “Fuck this stupid cast. Ride me.”

“I don’t want to hurt you,” I said. He tugged at my leg, so I straddled his waist despite my hesitation. “Lockett…” He reached down to grip his erection - back to life so soon, ready and wanting me once more. He drew the tip back and forth through my pink flesh, still extra sensitive after his mouth’s attentions.

He felt so good I could barely stand it.

“I wanted to ask you how you’re feeling,” I said, “What you’re thinking. I want to know.”

“I’m thinking I’m horny,” he said, reaching up to cup one of my breasts. “I’m thinking I love your body. And I want to be inside of it.”

“That’s not what I meant,” I said, blushing.

He looked away. “I’m thinking that I don’t want to think about how I’m feeling.”

“Hey.” I stroked his jaw and turned his head to face me. “Look at me.” The despair in his eyes made my chest tighten. “That’s okay. You don’t have to answer. I just have to ask.”

He turned and kissed my palm. Then he pressed down on my hips.

I sank down upon his hardness, slowly taking him deep inside my body with a soundless cry of ecstasy. A strangled gasp escaped my lips as I settled against his groin.

“Ride me,” he grated. His fingers dug into the flesh of my waist as he guided my movements - slow and deliberate. I planted my hands on his chest and let him set the pace.

“This feels so good,” I said, undulating, grinding against him. Tingles ran up and down my limbs as he rubbed me just right inside. “Oh, God, Lockett-” I rocked against him harder.

“That’s it, sweetheart. Get yourself off on me.” I rode him with abandon, though I was careful of his leg. It felt so good to let go - to let go with him. Another intense orgasm washed over me when he reached up to tug and tweak my nipples. He captured my cries with his mouth - then spilled inside me with a gasping groan of his own.

Even then, satiated, glowing, and vulnerable, I didn’t tell him that I was carrying his baby.

How could I? Anytime he thought I wasn’t looking, his face was drawn, his eyes dark. He was in pain. He was in limbo while he waited for the cast to come off, while he waited to see just how well he’d be able to walk. His whole existence was in question. I couldn’t burden him with this, despite the fact that it involved him. It seemed somehow cruel.

Or at least that’s what I told myself as I let fear make me swallow my words.

When he gets the cast off
, I assured myself.
When he starts physical therapy. When he’s back on his feet, literally and figuratively.

My promises did nothing to help me sleep easier.

CHAPTER 8

Leaving Lockett that weekend was much harder than I thought it would be.
It’s just for one night!
But I didn’t want to go. I wanted to keep taking care of him - cooking or ordering in, leaving him snacks, nagging him to use his crutches to cross the apartment.

Patrick would have accused me of replacing taking care of my mother with taking care of him. But it wasn’t just that. Lockett was my boyfriend, the man I was in love with though I hadn’t said it out loud. And the father of the baby that was just beginning to grow inside me.
God help us
.

“Give your mom a great big hug from me,” he’d said as he saw me off. He stood at the front door, leaning on one crutch while I waited for the elevator.

“She’s not a very huggy woman,” I said, hefting my overnight bag. The elevator pinged.

I rushed back to him and kissed him before the doors could open. “I’ll miss you,” I said quietly, searching his eyes.

“I’ll miss you too,” he said, his voice low. A sadness settled over his face. I’d have to ask Alexa and Mallet to check on him and to make sure he didn’t just stare at the walls all night. “Have a good visit.”

He patted my ass when I turned to go. I giggled and scampered off to catch the elevator before it left me behind. I took that as another good sign. Every hint of playfulness, every glimpse of the old, fun Lockett, I clung to like a tiny thread of hope. I needed him to be okay.
We need him
. I rested my hands on my belly.
We
.

Big Mike picked me up at the train station when I arrived in Connecticut. He seemed happy enough - or at the very least, content. He whistled along with the radio as he drove us to the house.

Shockingly, my mother was smiling when I walked inside. Even more surprising, she looked like she’d lost a little weight. What was going on? Was the woman actually happy or something?

“We’re going out to dinner tonight,” she announced. She reached out with both hands and rubbed my shoulders.
Damn
. That was as affectionate as she’d ever been, even when we were kids.

“You look good,” I said, unable to keep the surprise out of my voice. “You look… happy.”

“Yes, well…” she held out her left hand, revealing a modest diamond ring.

“Oh, wow! Congrats!” I exclaimed.
That explains it
. “When did this happen?”
Isn’t it a little soon? Doesn’t he still not have a job?
If she was happy, though, I was more than willing to go with it.

“Last weekend,” she said, “We were at a beer festival.”

“How appropriate,” I said, intending for it to sound like a tease. She frowned.

“Don’t get on your high horse. Not all of us have a problem handling our liquor.”

It hit me like a slap. I tried to school my face into stillness but I flinched. Mom’s usual smug expression returned.
Some things will never change
.

“We’re going to have a summer wedding,” she went on, “And everyone had damn well better be there. I mean everyone. I want to rub it in your father’s face.”

“Sounds fun,” I mumbled.

“You look off,” Mom said, frowning, “Are you sick?”

She knows. Moms always know
. “I’m fine. Dinner?”

Big Mike finally piped up. “Friend of mine just opened up a new crab place. Benny’s Crab Shack.Thought we’d give that a try.”

“Sounds good,” I said. It didn’t. Shellfish - or hell, any fish - wasn’t sounding very appealing. But I was ready to get out of the house. I hadn’t even put my bag down and I was ready to leave.
I should never have left Lockett. I shouldn’t have come
.

○●○●○●○●○

The all-encompassing salt-water seafood smell of the restaurant made my stomach turn before we even stepped inside. Once we were seated, I was afraid I wouldn’t even be able to make myself eat.

I also couldn’t shake the feeling that I was indirectly funding this outing. I had come up to pay a few bills, hadn’t I?
Maybe Big Mike’s buddy will give us the family discount
.

It was a nice place, though. Everything was new and clean. It had a sort of vintage sailor theme to the decor and big windows facing the beach. I tried to calm my nerves and just enjoy the atmosphere, even if I couldn’t enjoy the food.

“You look a little green,” Mom commented. She and Big Mike dug into their pails of crab legs. “What’s wrong with you?”

I wrinkled my nose. I’d ordered a burger but hadn’t touched it yet. “The smell’s a little strong, don’t you think?”

“It’s seafood,” Big Mike said with a shrug, “Doesn’t smell bad. Smells normal enough to me.”

“You’re not gonna be sick, are you?” Mom asked. I shook my head. She scoffed. “Then what are you, pregnant?” I felt the color drain out of my face. As soon as she said it, she sat up straighter, as if she’d just figured out the mystery of the century. “You are!”

How do people keep guessing? Am I that transparent?
“Mom…” I couldn’t deny it. I didn’t have a damn thing to say.

“Oh, my God. Who’s the father?”

“A roommate,” I said, looking down at the table. It was kind of
cliché
, now that I said it out loud.

Her eyes went wide. Then they began to water. “I’m going to be a grandmother.”

I expecting shouting. I expected shame and embarrassment and vitriol. I never expected tears. “Yeah. A grandmother,” I said, daring to smile across the table at her.

“Did you hear that, Mike?” she asked, wiping her eyes. He looked between us and clamped his mouth shut. She sniffled again and said, “Well, I think you ought to move back home.”

“Hey now-” Big Mike said, but Mom cut him off. She held up her left hand.

“You put a ring on it, Big Mike, so my family’s your family, now. Are you going to deny my pregnant daughter a place to live?”

“I have a place to live,” I said. “Let’s not get ahead of ourselves. New York City is my home, now.”

The old Mom returned. She rolled her eyes. “You think you’re gonna make it as a single mom down there? Isn’t everything twice as expensive?”

Not that dramatic, but close
. “I live with the baby’s father, remember? We’ll work it out.”

“Yeah? Is he happy about this?” I pursed my lips. “You haven’t even told him, yet.” She sighed and placed her hands on the table. “Don’t be foolish. You’re going to need me, now. Every girl needs her mother when she has a baby.”

“I’ll think about it,” I said, “I still have a little time.”

“Yeah. You tell that father first.” She dug back into her crab legs. “Once you realize he ain’t gonna want to play happy family, you’ll be right back here. Home. Where you belong.”

Right back where I started
. It had been my biggest fear since leaving.
I can’t let that happen. No way. Lockett won’t reject us
.

I pushed my burger aside. I wasn’t hungry in the first place, anyway.

○●○●○●○●○

I had too much time on my hands on the train ride home the next morning - too much time to reflect.

Despite my big reveal, Mom and Big Mike still needed me to cover a few of their bills. “I need to be saving money right now,” I tried to tell them, but they weren’t having it.

“Big Mike will have a job soon, and you’ll be seeing sense once you’re ready to pop out that baby,” Mom said, “We can’t help you out of this mess later if you don’t give us a little assistance right now.”

I caved. I always caved.

And later when I told Patrick about it on the phone, he was actually upset with me. “You have to start taking care of yourself, Katherine,” he’d said, “You’re crazy to give that woman another damn dime, now.”

I paced the platform as he spoke, keeping an eye out for the train. His words stung because he was right.

“You can’t move back in with her,” he went on, “You know how that will go.”

“I know,” I said, my tone uncharacteristically bitter. “She’ll want to take over raising the baby while I get stuck on maid duty for everybody. What the heck is wrong with me?” I wanted to throw my phone onto the concrete.

“Nothing,” he said, “Nothing at all, honey. Listen… I’ve been thinking about getting an apartment in the city. Just a small place to crash once in a while, before the commute kills me. Maybe… maybe we can work something out. If you need a place to stay.”

“Am I that much of a failure?” I whispered.

“What?”

“Mom, now you… everyone seems to think I can’t handle this on my own.”

“No one could, honey. Everybody needs a hand now and then, especially when there’s a kid involved.”

“I’m not alone. The father’s in the picture,” I said. “Lockett is in the picture. We’re together, Patrick.”

“Have you told him?” I was silent. “Don’t forget, I’ve met him. I’ve known guys like him, hell, they’re in my own family - grunting cavemen who have no interest in their own children. I shouldn’t just assume he’ll be like that and it’s wrong of me to even say it but I’d hate to see you get your hopes up only to get rejected.”

No
, I screamed inside my head,
Lockett is not like that. I’ve seen him with his family
. “I have to give him a chance. I love him.” I’d never said it out loud, but it felt good to get it off my chest. “I’m in love with him.”