Tied - Part Three (The Tied Series) (3 page)

They all groaned. I hid my smile as I turned back to the chalkboard. I loved this job. Everything from watching the light bulbs go on in their heads down their shared chorus of dissatisfaction. If I could do this every day I would be a very happy woman.

I’ll have to thank Patrick later.
I resolved to pick something up for him - some dessert he could take home or a book or something. Even just a thank you card would be a nice gesture. He always gave me such good advice, and he was right yet again.

As much as I wanted to give in to my worries and fret over Lockett, I had to focus on myself, too. I couldn’t let anything get in my way.

○●○●○●○●○

I got out of work earlier than Patrick, so I’d ridden the subway into Manhattan to meet him closer to his office. We settled in a tiny dumpling joint in Chinatown - a favorite food that I’d recently discovered thanks to him. It was a tiny place, decorated with red Chinese lanterns and waving lucky cat statues. I idly wondered if I should buy a few - Lockett and I could have used a little good luck right about then.
It would take a whole herd of them to turn things around.

“I’m pretty sure those little guys are actually Japanese,” Patrick said when he noticed me looking at them.

I shrugged. “I guess I’m still a dumb tourist, sometimes.”

“Naw. Never dumb. You look pale, though.”

“Pale?” I asked, touching my own cheek. “I guess I’ve been pretty stressed out but I don’t think I’m coming down with anything.”

“Yeah,” he said, “You look worried, too. How was school?”

“It was great,” I said, smiling. “It went really well. I’m probably not the kids’ favorite, but being the favorite doesn’t always mean you’re doing a good job.”

“With kids, I’d expect the opposite,” he said, “The favorite is the one that lets them get away with murder. It’s why I’m my kids favorite over their mom.”

“Are you?” I asked. He rarely opened up about his family. “You let them eat junk food and stay up too late?”

“Yup. I let them run amok. I get them nice and hyper and then send them on home. It’s a petty revenge, but it feels pretty good.”

I grimaced. “You don’t get along with your ex?”

“Nope.” He didn’t elaborate. Instead he flagged down a waitress and placed our order before changing the subject. “Are you sleeping any easier?”

“Not really,” I said, “But now that Lockett’s out of the hospital I feel a little better.”

Patrick always kept his face blank when we spoke about Lockett. I knew he didn’t like him - hell, they didn’t like each other.
But that’s only because they’re so different.

“How was he when you saw him?” he asked.

“Tired,” I said, “I think he was still in pain but he didn’t want to take his medication. He’s refusing the wheelchair and refusing the crutches even though his leg’s wrapped up past his knee.”

“Wow.” Patrick blinked. “Sounds serious.”

“Is it?” I asked, “No one’s telling me anything. I don’t know if he told his family not to say anything or if they even know how bad it is themselves… they’re strange.”

“Strange how?”

“They’re so close. Every last one of them came in to visit multiple times except the brother in LA. But they don’t seem to talk about the problem right in front of them. At from what I could see.” I shook my head. “Lockett says they never talk about the sister that died. Ever.”

“Sounds like they aren’t good at coping with the big stuff.”

We fell into a friendly silence when our food arrived - pork dumplings, fried crab dumplings, something called shumai. Little by little, New York City was growing on me. We’d had Chinese food back home but it wasn’t nearly as good.

“What do you think I should do?” I asked, finally breaking our silence as the pile of food before us shrunk. “About Lockett. Like, how do you think I can help him?”

Patrick’s face was solemn. “Honestly? You should focus on work and give him space. A guy like that? He’s going to need a lot of space.”

“What do you mean?”

His lips tensed in a tight smile. “If I know anything about guys like him, I know they don’t deal with weakness well. He can’t walk?” I shook my head. “Do you think he wants
anyone
to see him like that?” Slowly, I shook my head again. “Family, friends? Least of all you.”

His words hurt, but there was truth in them. He hadn’t seemed very happy to see me during my brief visits. Not even a little. “I think you’re right,” I whispered.

“It’s tough. I know.” He placed his hand over mine in his familiar, fatherly gesture. “But you know you should be focusing on your job, anyway. You want to. And you know I’m here for you.” He squeezed my fingers - and I pulled my hand away. The way his eyes flashed - there was something less fatherly there.
Or Lockett’s got me paranoid
. That was much more likely.

Still, I kept my hand to myself. “Thanks, Patrick. I know. And you’re right. You’re a good sponsor.”

He smiled. His gaze lingered. But just a moment later, he returned to the dumplings and steered the conversation towards friendlier territory. Restaurants, weather, city things.

If space was what Lockett needed, I could give him that. But only after letting him know I was still there. He had to know that I cared about him no matter what - no matter how bad his injury was and no matter how much he didn’t want to talk about it. I was still his.

CHAPTER 3

I tried to give Lockett space, as Patrick had suggested. I visited him every day of the following week of course. But I kept those visits short.

“I hate to see you like this,” I said, tracing my fingers down his shoulder. He’d been living in Finn’s room for a full week while waiting for his next surgery - now only a day away. “Living” was too strong of a word at the moment. He was existing. Brooding. Barely breathing. “I wish you’d let me cheer you up somehow.”

He scoffed and looked away. He’d been growing more and more distant every day, but this was the worst I’d seen him.

“I’ll leave soon,” I said, “But I’ll be here tomorrow. I’ll wait for you to get out of surgery.” Thank goodness it was happening on a Saturday.

“Don’t.” His voice was rough. Raw. As if he hadn’t spoken all day at all.

“Don’t what? Don’t come tomorrow?” He shook his head. Still he refused to look at me. “Why not?”

“I don’t want you there.” His voice was flat. His eyes were distant. I wasn’t buying it.

“I want to be there for you.” I touched his hand but he flinched away. “What’s wrong? Are you nervous about tomorrow?”

“Tomorrow doesn’t matter.”

My heart broke for him. He sounded just as defeated as he had when he first left the hospital.
Is there anything I can do to help?
I looked down at the huge cast that wrapped his leg, now scrawled with little pictures drawn by his niece and nephew, plus a few doodles from Lisa and myself. I thought he’d be glad to get rid of it - I assumed that once the surgery was complete, he wouldn’t need it anymore.

Was I assuming wrong?

“Lockett? Is there something you’re not telling me?”

“About what?”

“Your injury.”

He scoffed again. “My brothers didn’t fill you in?”

“They haven’t told me much of anything,” I said. I wondered if even Lisa knew more than she let on.

“They don’t talk,” he said, staring at the wall. “They won’t talk about our dead sister. They sure as fuck aren’t gonna talk about their crippled brother.”

“Cripple?! Is that how you see yourself?” I turned him toward me, my fingers on his stubbled jaw. It took a long moment for his eyes to focus on mine. “You’re going to be okay.”

His lips curved down into a sneer. “You’re right. There is something I haven’t told you.”

My heart sank further. God, he was almost unrecognizable. I brushed my thumb across his lower lip. No reaction. “Tell me,” I whispered, searching his eyes for something, anything other than despair and anger. He looked right through me.

“Do you have any idea what happens when someone severs the fucking tendon at the back of your ankle?” I shook my head. I didn’t. “You’re lucky if you can even walk again.”

I covered my mouth against a gasp. It escaped anyway. I’d had no idea it was that serious! Why hadn’t anyone said anything? Even hinted at it?

“I didn’t want you to know,” he said, returning his attention to the blank wall across from him. “I don’t want anyone to know. But you’d find out eventually, anyway.”

“I’m so sorry,” I whispered. I wrapped my arms around his neck and shoulders and pressed my head against his. “Lockett, I’m so sorry.”

His arms remained at his sides.

“I’m here no matter what,” I said softly. “Please don’t shut me out.”

He shook his head. “You can do better.”

“Don’t say that.”

“You should do better. What good am I, now?”

“For God’s sake, Lockett!” I shook him by his shoulders. “I didn’t fall for you because of the fighting. I didn’t even
like
the fighting. I just liked you.”
Love. I’m falling in love with you. Don’t cut me out, now.

“Just go,” he said, shrugging me off.

“I hate to leave you like this,” I said. “I could get my things. Stay the night.”

His expression softened, though only briefly. “No. Bed’s too small, anyway.”

I wanted to argue but I bit my tongue.
Give him space
. “Can I at least kiss you goodnight?”

He nodded and he pulled me close.
Finally, a response
. His lips were warm and soft against mine. I teased him with my tongue, and his fingers curled behind my neck.
I love you
. It wasn’t the time to say it, but I felt it, and I tried to convey it as best I could. I stroked his cheek and parted my lips, inviting him in.

He pulled back with a ragged breath. And he turned away.

“We’ll talk more after you’re home again,” I said firmly. I wasn’t going to push him but I wasn’t going to let this go. “Try to get some sleep.”

“You, too,” he said. “And make Josh take you home if its late.”

It wasn’t, but I muttered an affirmative anyway on my way out of the room. I could cling to that request, at least. He worried about me. All hope wasn’t lost for us.

Even if it sometimes felt like it.

○●○●○●○●○

I arrived at Lisa and Josh’s house early the next morning, as promised. Josh was scowling and cursing under his breath when he let me in. “What’s wrong?” I asked.

“Your boyfriend is being irrational.” He said, “We could call the hospital for an ambulance pickup but he’s being a real dick about it.”

“Dad!” I heard the kids shriek from the kitchen.

“Sorry!” he called over his shoulder, then sighed. “I have half a mind to call them for one, anyway.”

“Will that cast even fit in a cab?” I asked.

“It did before it and fucking will now,” Locket grumbled. He staggered around the corner, dragging the weighed-down limb behind him as he hopped, one hand against the wall.

Amber appeared in the hall, clenching her little fists and chewing her lip. “Uncle Rob, you’re gonna fall!” she wailed, dancing around him as if she could help.

“What are you doing?” I asked, rushing to his side. Josh beat me there.

“Are you out of your mind?” he growled.

“I want to wait outside. I called a cab, it’s on its way.” He hopped forward another step. Josh tried to pull his arm over his shoulder but Lockett shoved him away. “Get off me.”

Amber covered her mouth. Finn appeared behind her, wide-eyed, and called for their mother.

This was becoming a circus. “You’re upsetting the kids,” I said quietly, “Let Josh help you.”

He hopped forward again. “I told you not to come.”

A frying pan slammed in the kitchen. “Let him go!” she called, “Get him out of the damn house!”

I looked between Josh and Lockett and the kids. “Come on, guys,” I said, herding Finn and Amber back toward the kitchen, “Why don’t we watch a little TV? Your uncle just needs a little fresh air, he’ll be fine.”