Tiana (Starkis Family #3) (17 page)

She picked up after the second ring. “Hey, Damon. What’s up? Is everything okay?”

I loved the sound of her voice, especially when it was husky and laced with sleep. “I’m sorry I woke you. I know we’ve got a big day tomorrow.” Maybe that was the reason I couldn’t sleep. Soon I’d be standing across the aisle from my fantasy girl while we watched another couple get married. “I just… I couldn’t sleep.”

“It’s okay. To tell you the truth, I was tossing and turning myself. I haven’t heard from you in a couple of days. What’s new?”

I hadn’t called her since we’d made love in my car. I’d thought I’d give her time to sort out her feelings and prayed she would realize we’d passed the point of no return a long time ago. “I had a talk with Miles.”

“Really? How did that go?”

It sounded as though she was shifting in bed, trying to find a comfortable spot. I pulled the pillow close, inhaling the subtle scent of her perfume. I’d told my cleaning lady she didn’t have to wash my sheets. Pathetic, but I wasn’t ready to let go of that tangible reminder that she’d shared not only my bed but her heart with me that night. “It went okay. We talked about you.”

She groaned. “God, I wish I’d known you two were friends. I never would’ve agreed to go out with him.”

“We’re not friends,” I said, chuckling. “We were acquaintances at best. Now we’re business associates.”

“So you’re going to help him open that new club in L.A.?”

“Yeah, he’s got a good thing going here. No reason we can’t make the club in L.A. as successful, maybe even more so.”

“But won’t it be weird working with him now?” She sighed. “I didn’t mean to make it sound as though I was that important to either one of you. I just—”

“You are important to me.” She had no idea how important, and I couldn’t tell her unless I wanted to risk scaring her away. “Really important.”

After a moment, she said, “I really don’t want to lose your friendship. I haven’t had very many people in my life I can talk to the way I talk to you. Really, Mia’s the only other person, and now that she’s getting married…” Her voice was filled with sadness. “Well, like I said, things will change.”

I couldn’t imagine what she was going through, knowing the only person she considered family was about to start a family with someone else. “You know you can always call me when you need someone to talk to, sweetheart.”

“After what happened between us…” She cleared her throat delicately. “Well, I’m afraid being intimate may have been a mistake.”

That was the last thing I wanted to hear. “You don’t mean that. What we shared was amazing. I know you’re scared. I am too, but that doesn’t mean we can go on pretending we’re not having these feelings for each other. They’re real. You know that, and so do I.”

“I don’t do relationships. You know
that
.”

“Do you think if you keep saying it, you’ll be able to convince yourself this isn’t a relationship? Because it is. I talk to you more than I ever talked to any of my exes. You make me laugh more than any of my buddies. I love just hanging out with you. And the sex…” I chuckled. “Well, there are no words to describe that.”

She laughed. “I don’t know about that. I could think of a few.”

“Tell me,” I whispered, needing to hear her define what I was feeling.

“Explosive.”

“Crazy-hot.”

“Dangerous.”

That was crux of the problem. She was afraid of getting hurt, afraid of coming to depend on me and being abandoned. I so wanted to tell her the truth about Dalia, but knowing how she felt about kids, I feared that would mark the end of us.

“Would you want it as much as you do if it were safe and easy?” I smiled when she laughed. The sound of her laugh was enough to make a bad day better and a good day great. “Come on, every relationship you’ve ever had has been safe and easy. Easy because the guys always pursued you; you never had to go after them. And safe because you didn’t feel anything for them, so you knew they couldn’t break your heart.”

“You’re right,” she said softly. “But I do feel something for you, and it scares the hell out of me. I know this can’t go anywhere. It can’t. So why can’t I just force myself to end it now, before we get in any deeper?”

I bolted up in bed as panic gripped me. “You don’t want to end this any more than I do. Be brave, baby. Be fearless. Give it time to see where it could go.”

“It can’t go anywhere,” she said, desperation creeping into her voice. “That’s what I keep trying to tell you. Why won’t you believe me?”

“Because I hear it in your voice.”

“What? What do you hear in my voice?”

“I hear how much you want what you’ve never had.” And I wanted more than anything to be the man to give it to her. “I hear how much you want someone to lean on, someone you can count on to be there for you when times get tough.”

“I have Mia for that.”

“Yeah, but Mia can’t hold you through the night. I can. I want to. Please just let me be that guy who holds you when you cry or laughs with you when you feel like being silly.” I smiled at the memory of all the times we’d laughed for no reason at all. “Let me be the person who helps you erase all of the bad memories and replace them with good ones.”

She released a shaky breath, obviously struggling to keep her emotions in check. “You make it sound so easy, but trust me, it’s not.”

“I’m not saying it’ll be easy, baby. I’m just saying I think it’s possible if you give it a chance.” Sensing she may be about to say something I didn’t want to hear, I said, “Don’t answer me now, Eleni. Just think about what I’ve said, okay?”

“I won’t be able to think about anything else.”

At least I had her attention. “Good. Now get some sleep. Tomorrow will be a long day for all of us. I’m surprised Mia’s not staying with you tonight.” Deacon had been grumbling about her not spending the night before the wedding with him, so I knew she’d made other arrangements.

“She’s staying at your parents’ place with Tiana. The photographer, makeup artist, and hair stylist will be there early in the morning, so I’ll head over there with the rest of the bridal party to get ready.”

“Oh.” I could tell she was a little disappointed she wasn’t spending this time alone with Mia. “Why didn’t you stay there with them?”

“They asked me, but I wasn’t really into it.”

I thought something else might be bothering her. “Aside from the trouble I’m causing you, is anything else going on?”

“My father called.”

“Oh, wow.”

“Yeah, he asked me to call him back, said it was important.”

“Are you going to?”

“Hell no! I want nothing to do with him!”

I could understand how she felt, but she wouldn’t have been human if she wasn’t curious about his reason for calling after so many years of silence. “Are you sure about that, honey? Talking to him might help bring you some closure. Maybe he’s remorseful. I know my old man’s mellowed some with age. Maybe yours has too.”

“I doubt that.” She cleared her throat. “Anyhow, you’re right. We should both get some sleep. I guess I’ll see you in church.”

In church.
For a spilt second, I imagined meeting her in church for our
wedding. “Yeah, sweet dreams, gorgeous.”

Eleni

Mia was the most beautiful bride I’d ever seen. I was so happy for her and grateful that she’d finally found her Prince Charming, especially after the years she’d wasted with a man who didn’t appreciate her. Deacon would be good to her. He’d love her the way she deserved to be loved, the way few men were capable of loving… my thoughts drifted to Damon. While he’d never been in love like that, I had no doubt if he ever did commit himself to a woman the way his brother had, he’d be all in. For the duration.

“What are you thinking?” Mia asked, adjusting her veil.

Since I couldn’t tell her the truth, I settled for a reasonable facsimile. “I was just thinking about how happy you’ll be with Deacon.” I reached for her outstretched hand, hoping she could feel my adoration for her. “He’s a good man, Mia. He’ll love you and treat you right.”

“I want that for you,” she whispered fiercely. “I know there’s a great guy out there wishing he could find someone like you to make his life complete.” She laughed when her eyes filled with tears and waved her hand in front of her face to stem the flow that would inevitably ruin her makeup. “Maybe he’s closer than you think, El.”

I knew she was referring to Damon, but I refused to feed into her fantasies. “I know this is your big day and I’m supposed to go along with the bride no matter what she says, but I can’t let you delude yourself. Damon and I aren’t meant to be, not the way you and Deacon are,” I teased, quashing the twinge I felt at acknowledging the painful truth. “You and Deacon were both looking for love when you found each other. That’s not the case with me and Damon.”

“That’s not entirely true,” Mia argued. “I thought I’d already found love with Drew. It took my best friend to help me realize that I deserved better.”

She squeezed my hand, making a lump rise in my throat as I thought about how much we’d meant to each other.

“That’s what I’m trying to do, help you realize that you deserve better.”

I laughed and withdrew my hand when she looked into my eyes a little too intently. I was afraid she might see something I didn’t want her to see, like the fact that I was wavering, believing that maybe, just maybe, I did want a modicum of the happiness she’d found with Deacon.

“You deserve someone you can count on, someone who’ll always be there for you,” Mia said.

I stepped around her, glancing at my reflection in the full-length mirror. Mia’s team had done a wonderful job. Everything from the dress to the shoes, hair, and makeup was perfect, yet my eyes still looked lifeless. No amount of eyeshadow or liner, no matter how skillfully applied, could hide the emptiness.

“That’s why I have you,” I said, looking at her reflection over my shoulder. “I don’t need anyone else. I never have.”

Our eyes locked, and I knew she was trying to send me the message I’d already received loud and clear. From this day forward, everything would be different. She’d always be my best friend, but her priorities had to shift to include the man she intended to start a family with.

“I want more for you,” she said, touching my shoulder. “I know you say you don’t miss having a family, but I can’t believe that’s true. I’ve seen the way you interact with my parents, the way you watch me and my brother when you think no one’s looking. You want to feel you belong somewhere, to someone, just like everyone else.”

She’d hit a nerve, forcing me to blow out a long, slow breath. “There’s no sense wanting something I can never have.”

“What if you could have it with Damon?”

I closed my eyes, refusing to face what I would see if I looked in the mirror—longing. “Damon isn’t interested in a commitment any more than I am. You know him, the quintessential party boy.”

“That may have been true before, but he’s different now. Ever since he met you, he’s been different. Even Deacon says so, and he’s known him his whole life.”

“The changes you’re referring to have nothing to do with me,” I said, sliding a shaky hand over my dress. “He decided he needed to make changes when he was in Greece. He said he was tired of living
that
life.”

“I think he’s tired of being alone,” Mia said, coming around to stand to the side of the mirror so she could look me in the eye. “He told me not so long ago that he was happy for me and Deacon, but he was also a little envious of what we had.”

“He said that?” I was shocked to hear Damon had talked about love and marriage. “That doesn’t sound like him.”

“Doesn’t it?” She regarded me carefully, obviously looking for a chink in my armor—one I hoped she wouldn’t find. “I’ve been watching the two of you together, and it’s painfully obvious to me that his feelings run deep.”

I didn’t know where she was going with this, but I sensed a warning that irked me. I got the chilling sense that she was pleading with me not to make her choose between me and her soon-to-be husband’s brother. She was supposed to be my best friend. Just because Damon would join her family in a few minutes didn’t mean he’d earned her loyalty the way I had. We had years of friendship. History. That had to count for something, didn’t it?

“What are you trying to say, Mia? That if I somehow hurt Damon, it will impact our friendship?”

She narrowed her eyes, obviously trying to gauge whether I was serious. “You really think anyone or anything could come between us after all we’ve been through?”

I released the breath I’d been holding as I swallowed my tears. Mia was my family, the only family I had. I didn’t know what I’d do without her in my life. “I would never hurt Damon intentionally.” Which meant I’d have to be more careful about allowing the lines between us to get blurred.

“I know you wouldn’t.” Mia hugged me. “In spite of your tough-girl act, I know better than anyone how soft-hearted you are. But sometimes people get hurt in spite of honorable intentions. Make no mistake”—she pulled back to brush a hand over my cheek—“I’m just as worried about you as I am about him. I see two people I love on a dangerous collision course, and I can’t see either one of you being able to veer out of the way in time to avoid getting hurt.”

I laughed at her analogy as I adjusted her veil. “What does that mean?”

“I think he’s already fallen in love with you. And if you were being completely honest, you’d admit you felt the same way.”

***

I was still reeling from Mia’s claim that I was in love with Damon and he with me as I allowed him to spin me around the dance floor amidst dozens of happy couples.

“Beautiful wedding, isn’t it?” he asked.

“Lovely.” It was a wedding fit for a Greek princess—exactly what my best friend deserved.

He pulled back to look at me. “Are you okay? You’ve been kind of quiet today.”

“It’s just been a long day,” I said, wrestling with the emotion that continued bubbling up no matter how forcibly I stuffed it back down. “Hell, who am I kidding? It’s been a long week.” I hoped if I could pretend that the wedding had taken its toll, he wouldn’t force the issue.