Tiana (Starkis Family #3) (12 page)

He smirked. It was hardly a secret that I couldn’t function without a shot or two of java. “I would have happily served you breakfast in bed with an entire pot of coffee if you’d stayed.”

Damn butterflies chose that moment to re-emerge, reminding me I’d found a guy most women would kill to have. “I needed some time,” I said, reaching for the steaming mug. “What happened last night was…” I searched for the right word as I opened a packet of natural sweetener and stirred it into my cup. “Intense. I just needed some space to process it, to figure things out.”

“And now?”

“I barely slept, Damon,” I said, rolling my eyes. “Come on, give a girl a break.”

“I need to know what you’re thinking.” He crowded me against the counter with only a ceramic puppy mug between us. “What you’re feeling.”

“I’m feeling… overwhelmed.” I took a sip of coffee, conscious of the fact that he hadn’t given me a chance to brush my teeth before I answered the door. “I was expecting sex, great sex, and I got more than I bargained for.”

He looked smug as he set my cup on the counter before his arms encircled me. “You say that like it’s a bad thing.”

“I don’t know if it is or not,” I said, looking at his chest instead of his face. I couldn’t look him in the eye and admit how terrified I was. He would see that as weakness, and I wanted to perpetuate the myth that I was strong and independent. “That’s what I’m trying to figure out, but you’re not giving me room to breathe.” I immediately regretted my words when I saw the hurt cross his face as he stepped back.

“The last thing I want to do is pressure you. But you’re going to figure out what I already know. What we have is special, Eleni.”

I feared he was right, but I still didn’t know what that meant or how we were supposed to proceed. “Have you eaten yet?” I asked, hoping he would give me a reprieve to collect my thoughts.

“No, but—”

“How does an omelet sound?” I asked, making my way to the fridge to collect the ingredients. “I was planning to go for a run later. I could use the protein.”

“Mind if I join you?”

I took in his appearance, my gaze settling on his black boots. “You’re going to run in that?”

“I have a gym bag in the car.”

I didn’t know how I felt about Damon insinuating himself into my daily routine—not that I didn’t want to spend more time with him. I just needed time to process my thoughts. My time alone on the trails usually allowed me to do that.

“Hey, if you don’t want company, that’s cool. I have some things to take care of.”

I didn’t want to offend him, but I had to try to re-establish some boundaries. We were starting to feel too much like a couple, and I wasn’t sure I was ready for that. “Maybe some other time?”

He shrugged. “Sure, whatever.”

He remained silent as I made breakfast. I could tell he was as lost as I was. He was probably used to trying to figure out how to get rid of women the morning after, not questioning why they hadn’t stayed.

I set our plates on the small breakfast bar. “Sit. Eat.”

Damon chuckled but did as he was told. “You really are a woman of few words in the morning, aren’t you?”

“I’m definitely not a morning person,” I said, sitting beside him. The kitchen was small and the breakfast bar was only large enough for three stools, which meant we were close enough that I couldn’t breathe without inhaling the spicy scent of his cologne.

We ate in a companionable silence for a few minutes before he said, “I can’t believe my brother’s going to be a married man soon. That’s crazy.”

“Why do you say that?” I took my last bite of toast before wiping my mouth with a paper napkin.

“I just never thought he’d find someone like Mia. I knew he’d get married eventually.” He took a sip of juice. “He made no secret of the fact he wanted a family, but I guess I always pictured him marrying some nice Greek girl who was willing to look the other way when he messed around.”

“Someone like your mother?” When his eyes darkened, I regretted the question. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t—”

“No, it’s okay.” He pushed his empty plate aside and leaned back. “It pisses me off whenever I think about what the old man has put her through. My mother’s a good woman. She deserved a husband who respected and appreciated her.”

I was happy that Damon acknowledged his father was out of line for cheating on the woman who loved him. “Why do you think she puts up with it?”
Aside from the obvious financial incentive.

“I think she feels trapped. She came from a different culture, a different generation, that believed that marriage was forever. Once the priest pronounced you husband and wife and you signed your name on the dotted line, there was no way out.”

“Do you wish she had left him?” I knew things would have been very different for Damon’s mother had she left his father. She was a woman of means and opportunity.

“Sometimes I do, if only to teach him a lesson.” He circled his finger around the rim of his coffee cup, obviously lost in his thoughts. “Demi thinks money buys him the right to treat people like shit, and I don’t agree. I give him credit for accomplishing all that he has. I can’t deny it’s impressive to start with nothing and build a multi-billion-dollar empire in forty years, but I don’t think that should give him a free pass. He does.”

“Your parents’ relationship must have shaped the way you think about marriage,” I said, leaning an elbow on the counter as my hand cradled my head. “Has it made you a little gun-shy?” I didn’t know why we were talking about marriage. It was something neither of us would consider in the near future—or ever, in my case—but I was curious to hear his thoughts on the subject.

I was surprised by the immediate change in his expression. When he crossed his arms, taking on a defensive posture, I realized my mistake. He obviously thought I was trying to lay the groundwork for some epic love story, which couldn’t have been further from the truth.

Before he could respond, I said, “Because I know my parents are the reason I never want to get married.” I cleared my throat when he looked taken aback by the vehemence in my tone.

“Never is a long time,” he said hesitantly. “Could be you’ll meet someone who’ll make you change your mind.”

A harsh laugh erupted from somewhere deep inside me. It was disrespectful to laugh in his face, but there was no room for misunderstandings in this area. He needed to know where I stood on the subject of forever, especially if we decided to continue our sexual involvement. “Not gonna happen, Damon.”

He slipped his hand through mine and studied our laced fingers. “It makes me sad to hear you say that. Just because the people who were supposed to be there for you weren’t there doesn’t mean you should be afraid to trust.”

Trust was a five-letter word to me. The only person I trusted was Mia, and even she didn’t know everything about me. I kept a small part of me hidden from the rest of the world, but I saw her in the mirror sometimes. She was wide-eyed and terrified, but I blinked, and she was gone. In her place was the man-eater who laughed too loud and drank too much to cover her insecurities.

“I try to deal in facts, not fairy tales,” I said, withdrawing my hand from his. “I’m happy my best friend is getting her happily ever after, but that doesn’t mean I want what they have. I like being alone.” I gestured to the small apartment I used to share with Mia. “I like having my own space, coming and going as I please, being responsible for and to myself.”

“Sounds like a cop-out if you ask me.”

I shouldn’t have been surprised Damon was calling me out. He was always the first one to yell bullshit when he didn’t believe me. I loved that about him, but I resented him for challenging me when I didn’t feel strong enough to fight back.

I slid off the stool, tightening the sash on my robe. “Think what you will. It’s not my job to change your mind.” Before he could argue, I rushed on. “I’m going to change so I can go for that jog. I guess I’ll see you at the party tonight.”

He gripped my wrist before I could get away. “I know you don’t believe this, but you are worth the effort, Eleni.”

Those few words pierced my heart because he was getting to the very root of my problem. I didn’t believe any man would be willing to stick it out as I worked through my seemingly insurmountable trust issues.

“You say that now,” I whispered, unable to look at him.

“And I’ll still be saying it a year from now. You may not realize this yet, but I’m not going anywhere. Eventually you’ll just have to accept that.”

Damon

My brother didn’t do anything in half measures, so I wasn’t surprised he’d shut down one of the most exclusive restaurants in the city for their rehearsal dinner. But it wasn’t my surroundings I was focused on—it was
them
. When I’d spotted Miles at the church, I couldn’t believe she’d had the gall to invite him. Especially after the night we’d shared. I’d known when I’d woken up alone she was running scared, but I’d thought after our talk in her kitchen, I’d set her straight. Apparently I’d been wrong.

“It’s not nice to glare at my guests, little brother,” Deacon said, smirking.

“You didn’t invite him,” I said, inclining my head at the bartender setting down a scotch in front of me. “Eleni did.”

“And that obviously bothers you. Why?”

I hadn’t discussed my feelings for Eleni with my brother, mainly because I knew I had to figure out how to have a relationship with Dalia first. But being away from Eleni had made me realize I couldn’t go on this way. I needed her in my life and my bed. The critical voice in the back of my head told me I was no better than my old man, lying and deceiving a good woman like Eleni. I knew she had trust issues, and I was trying to wear her down, to convince her to let me in, knowing damn well if she did, she was risking heartbreak when the truth came out.

“I care about Eleni. She’s a good friend.” She was a good friend. In the past, I’d rolled my eyes when I heard people say they were fortunate to have married their best friends, but I got it now. “I don’t want to see her get hurt.” Of course, I was more likely to hurt her than Miles was. He could give her something I couldn’t: a commitment that didn’t hinge upon sneaking around and divulging only half-truths.

“You can fool other people, but you can’t fool me, Damon.”

If only Deacon knew I’d already fooled him and everyone else. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” I enjoyed the slow burn of the scotch. It felt almost like a well-deserved punishment for the lies I was spewing.

“Seeing Eleni with Miles makes you crazy because you want her for yourself.”

Unable to stomach another lie, I asked, “How would you react if I told you I’d already had her? Last night.”

Deacon gripped my shoulder as he leaned in and whispered, “Are you serious? How the hell did that happen?”

I’d expected him to be angry. He’d grown to love Eleni like a sister and was worried that my interest in her may prove harmful, but he seemed more curious than furious. “I got back into town and needed to see her. I missed her like hell. She was all I could think about.” Coming clean with my brother felt good. The only person who really understood the depth of my torment was my therapist, whom I’d been forced to call upon a few times during the past several months.

“I knew you had a thing for El, but I guess I didn’t realize the extent of your feelings,” Deacon said, claiming the stool next to me. “How does she feel about you?”

“I wish I knew. You know her—she’s pretty tight-lipped about her feelings. She told me today, in no uncertain terms, that she never intends to get married. I guess that was her not-so-subtle way of telling me that we could have sex but nothing more.”

“And how does that make you feel?”

I laughed out loud. My brother really had come a long way since he’d met Mia. Now he was not only willing to acknowledge he
had
feelings, but he was inviting others to talk about theirs. If someone like Deacon could do a one-eighty, maybe there was hope for the rest of us.

“Maybe it’s time you put the kibosh on the therapy, Deacon. You’re starting to talk like a shrink.” I was using humor to deflect because I didn’t want to talk about the way Eleni made me feel. It scared me. But what scared me more was the prospect of letting what we’d started to build slip out of my grasp.

“Tell me this,” Deacon said, ignoring my dig, “if you slept with her last night, why is she here with another man tonight?”

“To send me a message.” I had no doubt Eleni was strategizing, trying to figure out how to keep me at arm’s length. What better way to accomplish her goal than to shove her relationship with another man in my face? “She told me she’s not interested in anything serious with me or anyone. Miles is her way of driving that point home.”

“So what are you gonna do?”

I swirled the liquid in the glass before bringing it to my lips. “The way I see it, I have two choices: I can let her walk away or force her to face what’s happening between us.”

“Then it’s more than just sex?”

I glared at Deacon, even though it was a fair question. “Would I be getting drunk at the bar if my only concern was getting laid?”

“No, I guess not.” Deacon looked around the room, taking in the models milling about. They’d invited many of Mia’s friends from Alabaster’s, women I knew and liked. “You could play the game her way.”

I had expected Deacon to warn me to stay the hell away from Eleni, not devise a plan to manipulate the situation. “Meaning?”

“There are many beautiful women here tonight. More than a few have shown an interest in you in the past.”

“So?” I’d had enough trouble with women. The last thing I needed was to invite more.

“So flirt a little. See how El reacts.”

“I’m not a kid anymore. I’m tired of playing games.” That message had come through clearly during the time I’d spent on the boat. I hated the deception. I just wanted an uncomplicated relationship with the woman I cared about.

“What choice do you have?” Deacon asked. “I assume you tried the direct approach? You told her how you feel?”