Thursday Nights (The Charistown Series) (35 page)

One fateful night the man finally stopped fighting himself and found the courage to take the woman home. He kept telling himself that it was one night, just one night. He knew it was wrong to want her and take her when he knew he only had one night to offer her, but he could no longer deny himself the one woman who affected him on every level. He would get her out of his system, and they would go back to being just friends. He would make sure of it.

But the moment he kissed her lips, the moment his tongue entered her mouth, he knew one night would never be enough. This woman was a keeper, just as he’d expected. She was a forever woman. Each time he entered her body, sparks would shoot up his spine. With each thrust he knew this woman would always be a part of his soul, and it scared him to death.

The next morning he woke up happy.
I can do this as long as we take it slow
, he thought as he went to get them coffee. But on his way into the apartment, he heard his woman—oh God…his woman…so possessive already—talking to her friend about how much she liked him, how she could fall for him. And her words caused him to panic. In that moment, all he could feel were his failures from the past. He needed to leave her. He couldn’t ever let himself feel that broken ever again. So he left the apartment—and the woman—like the coward he had become.

He spent days trying to run from his emotions, trying to stick them back into the bottle in which they had been captive for years, but the lid would not stay closed. When her friend was in trouble, he knew she was hurting too, and he had to be with her. He couldn’t stand the thought of her being so sad and so alone.

He went over with the best of intentions, to offer friendship and comfort. But she asked for more, she asked for
him
. And once she was in his arms, his heart took over and his body went with it. His head screamed for him to stop. “
You can’t have her…. You can’t stay
,” it called. But he didn’t listen and he made love to her all night. When the morning came and he ran again, he chided himself. He did not deserve this woman.

Time and time again, she came to him, sharing details of her tormented past and baring her feelings on the present. All she asked in return was for his honesty and his trust. He couldn’t give her what she needed; he cloaked his damaged heart in armor and kept it hidden from her soft touch.

On the night she came to him and told him that she loved him, words escaped him. So instead of letting her in as he should have, he said nothing. And when she turned to walk away, the man thought, “
I need to stop her
,” but he couldn’t make himself move. “
You’re not ready for her yet,”
his mind screamed. She walked right up to him and said the most profound thing he had ever heard. “
I am worth more than one fucking step…
” She turned around then, and the man watched, paralyzed, as she left.

He thought about her words for days, and he realized that she was exactly right. She didn’t want the responsibility of holding his happiness in her hands. She didn’t want him to lose himself in order to be with her, all she wanted was to be met halfway. She wanted a partnership, trust, love…

In the days since that heartbreaking evening, he struggled to deal with his past. He faced the pain and humiliation that had kept him prisoner for years. He realized that the infatuation of a boy is so different from the love of a man. He learned that his fear of failure is not the same as his desire to succeed. And this woman, his love, possessed his heart and soul with care. She had treated him kindly with trust and love, and he was so grateful for every day he had with her as friends, and for each of the nights he shared with her as lovers.

Now, while he would understand if she were ready to walk away from him, he hopes that she can find it in her heart to give him another chance. Because he is ready for her in a way that he has never been ready for another woman before. He is ready for his forever—but he only wants it if it’s her.

Janie Lynn Silver,

I love you with everything that I am and with everything I will ever be.

Please give me a chance to make this up to you….

Love always,

Max

Janie didn’t know when Max had sat down beside her, but when his strong arms wrapped around her trembling body she turned into him and cried. After a moment she pulled away and looked up at his handsome face.

His grassy eyes looked serious, and his brows knitted together. “Janie, sweetheart, please talk to me.”

His beautiful Janie had tears running down her face. Her eyes were red and her nose was running, but she’d never looked lovelier. He cupped her face with both hands and used his thumbs to gently wipe away her tears. “I hate seeing you cry. It makes me want to punch the person who did this to you…and being that it’s me…” He smiled sheepishly. “It’s a bit of a conundrum.”

She wiped her nose with a tissue and reached over with her left hand to smooth it across his stubbled cheek. “Oh, Max…I love you so much. I do, but I was—” She couldn’t finish her sentence. Just the thought brought a sharp pain to the center of her chest.

“You were what, babe?”

The questioning look on his face nearly undid her, but she had to keep it together to put a voice to her thoughts. “I was going to walk away from you. I was going to let you go.”

His breath caught in his chest, and time stopped as he waited for her explanation.

“Max, I’ve spent my whole life waiting…waiting for acceptance, waiting for a great love that would come and sweep me off my feet. And in all of my waiting, I stopped living. I stopped trying to make my life better, and I ended up being a victim trapped in my own circumstances. I was never going to find my great love because I put too much pressure on every move I made and on every person I met.”

“Janie, listen, I—”

“No.” She gripped his hands in hers. “You need to let me say this. We found each other, and the more time we spent together the clearer it became that you were so much more than hotness and charm. You, Max, are what finally gave me the strength to believe in myself.” She could see the nervousness in the square way he held his shoulders and in the lilt of his head. He didn’t know where her speech was taking them, and she could see his fear. She wanted nothing more than to give him the comfort he desired, but she had to come clean on where she was headed before he came to her.

“When I read your letters, I got scared. You were with someone for years who was horrible to you and you stayed with her. What would happen if I couldn’t make you happy? Would you stay with me out of loyalty? I didn’t want that for you, and I didn’t want that for me. We are both worthy of love, but it’s too much pressure for one person to be completely responsible for the other person’s happiness. No matter how much I love you.” She whispered the last three words as she slipped her hands from his and nervously rubbed them up and down her thighs, plucking at an imaginary piece of lint on her blanket. The silence was unnerving when she finally lifted her head to look at him.

“Janie.” His clear, green eyes penetrated her soul as he leaned forward and cupped her cheek. “You will never know how sorry I was the night I let you leave my house, but I needed that time to really look at myself. Chloe was selfish, unkind, and well…abusive. Had she not died, I would have left her, but I still would have shut down my heart. I’ve spent my entire adult life thinking I was truly and thoroughly broken, but it was you who made me see that I was only bent. When you came into my life…God, Janie, you shook me up. You smoothed me out, but most of all you made me whole. You made me feel things I never felt before…ever. I never realized how much I was missing until I found you. And I was scared shitless. I’m sorry it took me so long to figure it out.”

With his finger under her chin, he slightly tilted her head back, bringing her bright, teal gaze to his, “I promise you, Janie. I’ll spend the rest of my life taking steps to meet you anywhere you want to go.” She smiled, her face lighting up his entire world.

She laughed when he lifted her up in his arms and carried her back to her bedroom. She wrapped her legs around his narrow waist and nestled her lips against his neck, kissing up toward his ear. Placing soft nips on his earlobe, she felt reverberations in his chest as he groaned.

Max turned his head toward her, his lips caressing her ear, sending a jolt of tingles down her body. “I love you, my sweet Janie,” he whispered as his warm moist tongue licked her lobe.

He gently pulled away from her so he could look into her hungry, golden-flecked blue eyes. He could see his heat, intent, and desire mirrored in the women in front of him. She truly was his equal…his partner.

She looked back as his emerald eyes smoldered. He was vibrating with need as she started to work the buttons on his shirt, sliding it down his smooth, hard skin. She untangled her legs and let them hit the carpet as he moved her back against the bed.

At the same time, he lifted her top and inhaled deeply, relishing in the familiar fragrance. “Oh, babe, you smell so good.” He breathed in again. “I’ve missed this. I’ve missed
you
. I can’t wait to taste every part of you.”

Janie felt her panties dampen with Max’s promise. “I can’t wait to let you,” she answered huskily, stepping in front of him and pushing him down on to the bed. With his shirt off, Janie was able to run her hands across Max’s broad chest. She straddled him on her mattress, his skin pebbled with goose bumps as she let her fingers slide down every ripple in his abdomen.

“Are you cold, honey?” she asked in a teasing voice as she let her tongue graze his nipple and gave it a less-than-gentle nip.

“Babe, I’m so hot right now I could set your fucking sheets on fire.” He wrapped his sculpted arms around her and shifted her below him.

Need coiled inside his belly as he pressed against her soft skin. His arousal was pushing uncomfortably up against the zipper of his jeans, but the torment was sweet knowing he would soon be inside his Janie again. His lips hovered over her exposed throat, and he heard her lusty moan in anticipation. Max started his assault with gentle kisses and long licks down the column of her neck until he reached the spot where her it met her shoulder. He placed a small bite in the tender nook and felt ten feet tall when he heard the whimpers come from the back of her throat. “Oh, Max.”

He continued to kiss and touch his way to her breasts. Her nipples were hardened points, visible through the pink lace of her bra. He placed his large, work-roughened hand over one breast and his mouth over the other.

“More, Max, I want more.” Impatiently, she sat up, reached behind her back, and unclasped her bra.

His witty comment about her lack of patience died on his tongue when she let the bra slide seductively down her arms and float weightlessly to the floor.

He stared at the woman sitting before him. “Janie…you are so beautiful.” He leaned forward, using the heel of his palm to playfully push her onto her back, and began his feast on her breasts. He licked and sucked a hardened nipple while stroking and rolling the soft flesh of the other in his hand. Max rolled his groin against hers as he moved his mouth from her left breast to her right.

Between the teasing, licking, and grinding, Janie’s panties were saturated with desire, and she could feel the thrumming in her core. She knew that her first climax was only seconds away.

“Let me have it, babe.” His request was husky and raw as he went back to sucking and stroking her hard peak. He was bestowing love onto her body in the most basic way, and she was responding.

The buzz started way down deep in her core and quickly spread. She wrapped her cloth-covered legs around his. “Oh, Max…don’t stop.” Her climax was short and intense as her heart raced and her body quivered, but she didn’t feel sated. Not yet. She was ravenous for the man looking down at her. She wanted him, and by the flare she saw in his eyes, she knew she wasn’t alone.

She reached down to unbutton his jeans, his erection jutting up to the top of the zipper.

“You’re staring, babe…like what you see?”

“You have no idea…”

He wasn’t prepared for her lusty response, and he groaned as she slipped out from underneath him and eased down his jeans and boxers.

Janie’s mouth went desert dry as she let her hands wonder down his body.

“I think I’ll start where you left off…” Playfulness and hunger rang in her tone. She climbed up his body and straddled his torso. She leaned down and let her tongue lap over one of Max’s soft brown nipples. Her hands rubbed down his ribs as she licked and suckled each flat disk. Her hands on his body felt like heaven, and the gates were just opened for him to enter.

She took his moan as approval and slowly traveled down his body with her hands and her tongue, stopping to lick, nip, or suck whenever she pleased—and Lord, did she please.

When she finally reached between his legs, a bolt of lust zapped through him. He momentarily lost his ability to breathe. Janie looked up and met his gaze as she seductively lowered her head and took the full length of his cock into her mouth. The lack of oxygen brought black spots to his vision as the pleasure of her first stroke registered. Her mouth felt so warm and wet as she took him in with such care.