Through the Windshield Glass (21 page)

I looked over
at the other bed where the man was sitting in the same position as Jane. Each
of Leigh's drawings for him read:

　　　　　　　
To: John Doe

　　　　　　　　
From:
Leigh

"Have you
tried teaching them to feed themselves?" I asked, "Or have you tried
teaching them to bathe themselves, or get dressed?"

The male nurse
laughed, "Like I said little lady, they can barely breathe for themselves."

I stared at the
man in disbelief, "What's your name?" I questioned.

"Danny
Jones," the nurse replied.

"Well,
Danny Jones, maybe you should try teaching them how to do those things. They
might be as far along as Maria is right now, possibly further since they've
been here longer, but if you want to keep caring for them like their babies
please, be my guest."

Danny, Katelyn,
and even Michael stared at me, "You mean she can feed herself?"
Katelyn whispered.

"Yes,"
I replied indignantly, "She can feed herself, she can help me know when
she's hungry, she can nearly bathe by herself as long as I don't leave her
alone for too long, we're working on the getting dressed part, and she doesn't
need me to hold her hand to tell her where to go anymore."

"How?"
Danny sputtered.

"I treated
her like a child, a growing child; she just needs to be taught again. I think
if I can get her far enough she might remember who she is. Leigh's been helping
a lot, Maria positively adores her." I responded. I relished the look of admiration
that covered the previously supercilious expression on Danny's face.

"I guess
you didn't try everything," I said to Michael.

Michael was
flabbergasted, "I just assumed Maria was less affected than these two, I
had no idea you'd actually--"

"Helped
her? Didn't I just tell you that was practically my only motivation for helping
you with this stupid plan of yours? I thought I'd have more ideas to use to
help her and instead I come here and find out I made more advances with her in
a few days than you've made in what, years?"

Katelyn reached
out to touch my arm, "Alice, remember, you know Maria better than we know
Jane or John here. What you did was only natural and didn't occur to us because
of our limited connection to them. We would really like your help on this
though, if you're still willing."

It was my turn
to be surprised; Katelyn had taken my rage and dispelled it all in about five
seconds. I felt like a child taken down to size. The feeling was so poignant I
almost hung my head in shame before mumbling an apology. Instead, I did my best
to maintain some of my dignity.

"I am
still willing to help," I said, "I--"

A scream cut
through the air, Katelyn and Danny were both suddenly alert. The scream echoed
again and Katelyn and Danny ripped through the curtain into the main part of
the infirmary with Michael and me hot on their heels.

The last woman
Michael had introduced me to, the one who had come to Beyond still smoldering
from her death, was out of her bed, screeching, and running around the room
tearing blankets off the unoccupied beds.

"Stop!"
Katelyn yelled. Katelyn ran at the rampaging woman and wrapped her arms tightly
around her.

"Shh,"
Katelyn murmured, "Everything's going to be okay, we'll find your baby,
you'll be just fine. Shhh."

Katelyn held
the struggling woman just as she had held me during my misery door. Eventually
the woman calmed and collapsed in Katelyn's arms, sobbing so bitterly it made
my heart hurt. I don't know what made me do it, but I left Michael's side and
went over to where Katelyn was standing. I looked into the sobbing woman's
face. Her eyes opened and she stared at me before grabbing my arm.

I didn't launch
into a memory like I had with Michael, but suddenly I knew exactly who the
woman was.

"Rebecca?"
I asked, "Rebecca is that really you?"

The woman
nodded and mouthed my name, "Alice."

"Yes?"

"Where's
James? Where's Ali? What am I doing here, who are these people?" At least
that's what I think she said. I knew she already had trouble forming coherent
sentences, but with the added challenges of her recent tantrum and her mouth
being buried in Katelyn's shoulder it was triply hard to understand her.

I looked back
at Danny and Michael, "Can I have a minute alone to talk to Rebecca, she's
my sister-in-law. I think it would be best if I explained exactly what's going
on, she'll probably respond better if she hears it from someone she
knows."

Danny nodded;
he was beyond arguing with me after he'd seen the progress I had made with
Maria. Katelyn was a little more hesitant, but when she saw the conviction in
my eyes she released Rebecca, grabbed Maria's hand
　
and followed Danny and Michael behind the curtain
once more. I wasn't completely alone with Rebecca but it would have to do.

"Rebecca,
do you know who I am?" I asked.

"Of course,
you're Alice, Jamie's little sister, we were practically best friends before
you di--" Rebecca cut herself off and clamped a hand over her mouth.

"I know
I'm dead, Rebecca," I said, "Unfortunately, you are too. This isn't
just some dream, you and Jamie, and I, we're all-- dead."

Rebecca gaped
for a few moments. I could tell she was struggling to believe me. Honestly, I
was a little shocked myself, I hadn't expected to find Rebecca here, and I
hadn't expected her to suddenly start
　
acting
so normal.

"But what
about my Ali? What about my Alice?" Rebecca asked desperately. Her words
were surprisingly clear and distinct, "Where is she, who's taking care of
her? I need to see her, she can't be without her mother, she's too young!"

"Rebecca,"
I said as soothingly as I could, "Alice--Ali, she survived. Your house
caught on fire, you and James were running out the front door and the roof
collapsed. You were holding Ali, and even though you and James were crushed,
Ali got away with nothing more than a few scratches and probably a little smoke
inhalation."

"Well,"
Rebecca said, "Separation from a living person is something easily fixed.
Everyone knows ghosts can haunt people, just tell me how. My daughter is not
going to grow up without her mother."

"It
doesn't really work like that," I said, "Do you remember anything
that happened after you died? Do you remember a hallway, or how you escaped
from it?"

"A
hallway? What does that have to do with Ali? No, I don't remember a hallway,
all I remember is--"

Rebecca broke
off and I saw tears fill her eyes, "I remember," Rebecca said darkly,
"You're boyfriend killed James! I was still pregnant with Ali, I wasn't
even going to name her that except for it's what James wanted. You were a
traitor to the family! You stood by that drunk lunatic, that
Michael
even though he killed my James, your brother! And then he killed you just a
month later!"

"What?"
I asked incredulously, "No, that's not what happened at all! Maria
committed suicide, I was coming back from her house when I got hit by some
random person. You and James died almost a year later! I never had a boyfriend,
you and James died in a fire protecting your daughter!"

"He told
me you'd lie to me," Rebecca said bitterly, "James was in one of my
dreams. At first I didn't think it was anything to worry about, I didn't
realize I was dead and that James was actually communicating with me. But he
was right, he told me you'd try to tell me something else happened so I
wouldn't blame you and your disgusting lover."

My jaw dropped,
"Rebecca I--"

Suddenly
Rebecca relapsed, she started screaming again. She lashed out at me, palm open,
nails out; before I knew it I was nursing three long gashes on my left cheek.

Katelyn, Danny,
and Michael came rushing back in. Between the two of them, Katelyn and Danny
were able to wrestle Rebecca back to her bed and belt her down. Within seconds,
one of them had administered some sort of sedative and Rebecca was out cold.

"What
happened?" Michael asked me. He gripped my arm as he did so, but just as
quickly let go, he was still
　
afraid
we might end up seeing each other's memories again.

"Daman has
her brainwashed somehow, she thinks you were the one who killed James. She's
got her death twisted up with the story that was fed to me in the misery door.
She hates me, and now that she's got it into her head that you were the cause
of James' death, she's going to hate you. Daman is going to make sure of
that."

Michael nodded
and looked wearily over at Rebecca's bed, Katelyn had gone back to the other
side of the curtain to fetch Maria and Danny was sitting on the edge of an
empty bed wiping his forehead, "Who would have thought death would be so
much like life? I thought pain was supposed to end, and I didn't think there
would still be sedatives." Michael said.

"Well, I
guess death is full of surprises," I quipped.

I guess Michael
wasn't in the mood for jokes just yet; he just ran his hand through his hair
again and looked down at me. He seemed to notice the scratches on my cheek for
the first time, "We should take care of those, the last thing we need is
them getting infected. I'll help you since it looks like Katelyn and Danny are
a little worn out."

"Okay,"
I said a little reluctantly, "Let me just get Maria and I'll show you
where my room is."

If I hadn't
already been willing to bait Daman into nonexistence, my run in with Rebecca
would have made the decision for me.

Chapter Twenty-eight

Maria was
sitting quietly on my bed, I was sitting uncomfortably on my chair, and Michael
was dabbing at the scratches on my cheeks with some kind of salve he'd grabbed
from a cupboard I hadn't noticed near the door of the infirmary. It burned like
no ointment I'd ever used in life, but it was effective. The only problem was
it hurt so much Michael could only heal a few millimeters of a scratch at a
time before I pulled his hand away from my face. And with three two and a half
inch long, surprisingly deep, nail scratches down the side of my face, the
process was painstakingly slow.

"Ouch!
Stop!" I cried for the third time. I swatted Michael's hand away and
turned around to look in the mirror. The result of the medicine was obvious,
but so were the tears of pain coursing down my cheeks, making the stinging in
the cuts even worse.

"Why do
people stay here?" I suddenly asked, "I mean, I know you can't 'kill'
yourself to get out, you had to go through that door, but why did people stay
here? Why did you?"

Michael met my
eyes in the mirror, "Why do people on Earth not commit suicide?"

I hate when
people answer questions with a question, but I decided to humor Michael,
"Because they have family they wouldn't feel good about leaving behind, I
guess. Or because they can't work up the courage or anger to actually do
it."

"Partially,
but beneath that is something else, fear of the unknown. As horrible as it is here,
people get used to it. They even delude themselves that this is Heaven. Others
choose to believe it's Hell, and some just
　
accept
it and that's it. They already dealt with their own death once and they don't
want to deal with anything similar to it again. It all comes down to
fear." Michael said. The whole time he was looking straight into the
reflection of my eyes. The effect was a little creepy and made me want to look
away. I did, but only for half a second as I turned around to face the real
Michael.

“Continue,” I
said.

Michael grabbed
the tub of salve, and started searing my flesh with it again. I guess he also
took my command to mean that I wanted him to continue explaining his answer to
my question.

“I almost went
through the door a week after I got here, it was actually the day someone told
me about it,” Michael said. I winced as he came to the deepest point of the
first scratch, but I didn’t cry out or turn my head away. I was afraid if I did
it would startle Michael into silence, and that was the last thing I wanted to
do when he had suddenly become so forthcoming with the information I craved.

“Daman loved it
here, I did to an extent, but I missed really living. Even though I could still
feel it was like no time was passing. Of course the sun rises and sets, but
it’s more of an illusion than the real thing. The flowers are too vibrant, the
pain too exquisite, and the people were all too nice. To me it felt like a
brainwashed delusional Utopia that was really a dystopia waiting to happen. But
Daman would hear none of it, to him this place was perfect, and in the end he
convinced me to stay.”

“How did he
convince you, I wouldn’t have been easy to convince. In fact, I’m pretty sure
that if the door were still where I could get to it I would have gone and
pulled Maria through with me days ago.” I said. Even as I spoke it I questioned
if it were the truth, but I tried not to think about it.

“He told me we
could change it. He knew how but he needed my help. Daman promised me that if I
stayed just for a little while longer we would be able to make this place like
everyone had imagined a happy afterlife to be. I wish more than anything that I
hadn’t listened to him.” Michael said. He had stopped applying medicine to my
cheek and was looking into the tub of salve like he wanted to drown himself in
it.

“Well, it’s a
good thing you did stay isn’t it? Daman might have ended up even more powerful
than he is now if you hadn’t been around to fight him from the very beginning.
Plus, Leigh would have no one to follow around.”

The comment
about Leigh was another failed attempt to get Michael to lighten up.