Through The Eyes of A Hoodrat (7 page)

I walked over to the dresser in my
room and counted the money I had stolen from some cornball’s
pockets after I fucked him to sleep. $600. He wouldn’t miss it
since he bragged so much about it meaning nothing to
him.

After leaving Philadelphia my income
plummeted and I wound up living in a small one bedroom apartment.
Once RJ and Dayday passed, the checks stopped and so did the child
support I was getting from Avery. With Mookie needing
rehabilitation I had to legally sign over her check to her father
and of course child support stopped for her. I still got my own
check since I had truly slipped into depression after the events. I
used that to pay my rent and I hustled niggas to keep up my
appearance and pay my bills. The Expedition was long gone and my
bad doing ass was pushing rental cars when I went out.

I thought about Dock and how he had
made such a major impact on my life. I definitely would never
forget him and I damn sure never wanted to cross paths with his ass
again. Not wanting to dwell too much in the past, I jumped up and
went to take a shower. I was having company.

After putting it off for months I
finally decided to call Rahdee and apologize for what I put him
through. I wanted to make peace with my past. Surprisingly he still
had the same number and was actually glad to hear from me. That
shocked me since I knew I hadn’t been the best in the past.
Nevertheless, we made up and he asked to come see me out in
Virginia. I was a little hesitant at first but I finally agreed. I
knew that Rahdee was the closest thing I had to love in my bitter
life.

I fried some chicken and let the
grease drain off on a paper towel while waiting for Rahdee to show
up. I wanted to make sure he had something to eat when he arrived.
His bus was supposed to get in around eight and he was going to
catch a cab to my place. He had just called me to inform me he was
close. The abrupt knock on the door caused me to jump up and run to
the door. I couldn’t wait to see Rahdee.

***

All the color drained from my face
when I realized it wasn’t Rahdee at the door. It was Dock’s black
ass. I tried to force the door closed but it was too late. Dock had
his black Timberland boot jammed against it. He also had me staring
down the barrel of his nine millimeter. He used his shoulder to
aggressively push his way into the room.

“Scream and you die bitch,”
he snarled, before grabbing me by my hair, and forcing the gun in
my mouth “What you didn’t think I was gon find you? You thought I
was gon let that shit ride?” he asked. “Naaa, sweetheart. You see
what you did was the ultimate betrayal. You used me and had a nigga
heart. That’s the hardest part for me Sierra. You had my fucking
heart…When my cousin Tim called me I didn’t want to believe that
shit. But I knew in my heart it was true. I never doubted your love
for me until I asked you that night. I asked you did you love me
and you said, “
of
course
.” Remember that babe? I searched in
your eyes for truth, but I saw none. Your eyes revealed what your
heart felt,…nothing.”

Tears rolled down my eyes
as I gagged on the steel that was in my mouth.
If I could just talk to him, explain to
him
, I thought.
Maybe he would let me go. He loved me. I know he still
does.

“Pweaseeee!” I managed to cry out.
Surprisingly Dock snatched the gun out of my mouth so I could
speak.

“What’s that Bae? You wanna say
something?” he asked.

“Dock please…I-I never meant to hurt
you,” I cried. “I love you…I tried to call it off but my cousin
wouldn’t.” At least some of what I was telling him was truth. I
damn sure didn’t love him. I loved money and I loved life. I knew
if I didn’t say something, I would soon lose it.

“Lying ass bitch shut the fuck up!”
Dock growled before swinging his arm back and hitting me with the
gun in my face. I felt several of my teeth come out.

The blow to my jaw sent my body
reeling backward and leveled me with the floor. The instant
overwhelming pain and looseness around my mouth confirmed that my
jaw was indeed broken.

I wanted to beg for mercy but it hurt
too much to speak. I said a quick prayer to God, asking for
forgiveness since I knew the motherfucker standing in front of me
had already confirmed they weren’t there for forgiveness. I had
wronged many people and more recently I had drastically affected
lives. I hated to admit, but I deserved this shit.

I closed my eyes and prepared to die
in shame. I had many opportunities to do right and my children
suffered the most because of my actions. I had inappropriately
stamped myself as a bad bitch when I was nothing more than a
hoodrat; a hoodrat who was about to die for all the scandalous
bullshit she had done. The saying was true; you do dirt, you lie in
it.

“You don’t love me. You don’t love
anybody, and I’m gon make sure you never say that shit to anyone
else again,” Dock said as he stood over top of me.

He reached in his pocket and grabbed a
gray silencer. He quickly screwed it on at the end and aimed it at
my head.

I watched a tear escape his face
before he pulled the trigger. After that I heard an explosion and
saw bright lights.

Epilogue

Rahdee

I smiled as I sat in my car and
counted out the $20,000 I had gotten from Dock. After RJ was killed
and finding out he wasn’t my son, I developed a deep hatred for
Sierra. She had known all those years that RJ wasn’t mine but chose
to carry on her shenanigans. I really loved RJ and losing him was
like losing a piece of me.

I had put up with Sierra’s shit for a
long time and wanted to issue revenge on her personally. Once word
hit the street that Dock was willing to pay $20,000 a piece for
Sierra and Tato, I knew exactly what I would do.

After hearing from Sierra, I decided
to play nice and use it to my advantage. I found Dock through a
contact in the hood that knew he was looking for her ass. After
giving up her location he had no problem handing over the cash as
promised. The only thing that he asked was for me to never speak a
word about the transaction to anyone. I planned to use that cash to
get me and Ladaya out of Philadelphia so we could start a new life
with our baby. I also wanted to get the hell out of dodge just in
case Tato resurfaced.

After Tato smacked Ladaya around while
she was pregnant I already felt like a chump since I couldn’t bring
myself to do shit about it. I told her to wait to tell him the baby
wasn’t his but since shit had started to hit the fan and bodies
were dropping she was adamant about not getting caught in the
crossfire due to her association with him. Much to my dismay she
told him anyway. I prayed I didn’t cross paths with him. I would
feel like a bigger chump if Tato stepped to me face to face. I knew
I had no wins and as many times as I had laughed and smiled in
Tato’s face, I knew he would kick my ass on sight if he saw
me.

Ladaya and I had been messing around
way before Sierra and I were. When Sierra and I did finally get
together I admit, I downplayed my relationship with Ladaya like a
typical nigga. As time went on I realized what a terrible mistake I
had made. By then it was too late. Sierra was on my dick big time
and soon after said she was pregnant with RJ. To spite me, Ladaya
started fucking with Tato and it all quickly became a big
mess.

We continued to fuck around despite
our situations and eventually got caught up. I ended up leaving a
seed in her one weekend while Tato was gone doing dirt. The love we
had for one another however, was indeed real.

I wasn’t too worried. As grimey as the
two cousins were, it was inevitable that they would experience an
early demise. Dock would surely take care of Sierra, as well as
Tato eventually. Ladaya and I could finally be together and not
have to worry about crazy ass Tato and scandalous ass Sierra. You
live by the sword you die by the sword. They had proved
that.

If you enjoyed Through The
Eyes of A Hoodrat, please leave a review and email me that you
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Be on the lookout
for
Through The Eyes of A
Jackboy
. My next novella coming
soon.

Feel free to contact me
about new book titles or questions at
[email protected]
.
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Shontaiye is a bookstore-library
freak. She is an avid reader who was blessed with a vivid and
active imagination since she was a small child. She has a
Bachelor's in Business and works in emergency services at a large
company in Delaware.

When she's not creating fictitious
characters, she's going to graduate school for a Master's in
Communication. She currently resides by the beach in Maryland, with
her daughter and husband. This is her fourth novel.