Threesomes: For Couples Who Want to Know More (5 page)
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Authors: Lainie Speiser
Stress to your partner that you don’t want to do this because you’re bored with just the two of you. This curiosity is about things being really great between the two of you and taking your sex life to another horizon. It’s no different than trying a new sexual position, a new toy, doing it in a different room of your apartment, or at someone else’s apartment during a party. It’s just introducing another song into the repertoire, and it’s a song that won’t necessarily become part of the rotation, but just a little something different you play once in a while.
When you find someone you love being with, who makes you feel like a million bucks, who you think is the equivalent of a million bucks, seeing him or her in a three-way can make you very aroused. Your man wants to see you with a girl or with another man because he thinks you’re the sexiest person alive and wants to totally celebrate and explore all of your sexual potential. When your girlfriend makes mention of perhaps picking up another girl (and it’s got to be the girl of her choice, but we’ll go into that later), it’s because you open her up to possibilities and experiences, not because you don’t satisfy her properly. It’s still going to be about both of you, no matter what. So don’t misjudge why this has come up; look on it as just a new experience that you can both share and enjoy, like all the other things you’ve done together.
Start it out by talking about it in fantasy. Both of you should picture the scenario or make up one. Talk dirty, asking him what he’d like to see you do or have done to you, and telling him what you’d like to do to him and the other woman. Ask him whether he could picture you with another woman, and what kind of woman he thinks you would like to be with. Be playful and fun about it. You’re just talking, so the sky’s the limit. It’s a fantasy right now—there’s no need to play it safe. Let your imagination run wild and just picture giving your man a special treat while broadening your own horizons in the process. You’ll be surprised at how turned on you’ll both get just by talking about it.
Follow up your fantasizing with one intense, deep, hard screwing session. Sprinkle this kind of talk a few times into your down time until you’re both so horny by the mere idea that you’re ready to take the next step: action.
True Story: Brian’s Three-Way
Brian, a 27-year-old marketing director for a major beverage company, is in a long-term relationship and getting ready to move in with his lady love. But before she came along, the swarthy, hairy-chested man from Brooklyn enjoyed a multiple-partner sex life, meeting women in bars, on the Internet, at work, and even on the street. Baby-faced and well-mannered, Brian knows the fine art of casual sex requires always being respectful and sensitive but keeping his lovers at an emotional arm’s length, never leading them on, but able to enjoy the bodies of many city girls who experienced his skills and happy-go-lucky charm.
Brian has had many casual sexual friends and has continued to remain friends with most of them, even with his recent monogamous status. One of them is an older woman named Janis, whom he befriended in his old neighborhood of artsy Williamsburg.
“We dated once or twice and realized right away that this would not work as a relationship,” says Brian, “but we were very much attracted to each other and sexually compatible. So when she suggested it—hey, let’s pick up another girl—I was all for it. I knew it would be a wonderful time.”
So the two hipsters went out to their neighborhood bar on their quest to share a luscious lady. Brian hung back and let his booty-call babe take control of the situation. Janis struck up a conversation with a cute girl sporting tattoos and glasses. Although Janis and Brian were both trendy professionals, they enjoyed women with a more edgy, fetish look.
“I watched them talking and exchanging compliments on each other’s clothes and style,” Brian says. “And then Janis said, ‘My boyfriend thinks you’re good looking and I have to say I think you’re gorgeous. too.’ “ This made Brian realize Janis had arranged a three-way before. “She knew what to say and how to go about it. It was great—I didn’t have to lift a finger. So we ended up picking up this girl at the end of bar. She was very hot. We definitely put in some time and drinks, like two hours, before heading to Janis’s place.”
Once back at Janis’s apartment, the older, bolder woman wasted no time. “She just walked up to this girl, got close up to her and said, ‘I really want to kiss you, let’s make out.’ “ Janis put her arms around the younger, smaller woman, and in a matter of seconds their lips and tongue were entwined and their arms folded in a passionate embrace.
Brian watched, sitting with a hard cock straining against his boxer briefs, thrilled with the response Janis was getting from their bar buddy.
When Janis came up for air, she looked at him, tilted her lustrous red head, and motioned her special friend over to join them. “We all started making out and heavy petting together,” Brian says, “standing there in this tight little circle, fondling each other, kissing each other, nibbling on each other’s ears and necks.”
Finally, Brian pulled his bullet-hard dick out of his pants, and Janis dropped to her knees to suck on it. Their tattooed girl watched. She was interested but had obviously never engaged in a three-way with a couple before—another woman most definitely, but not with a man and a woman at once. This inexperience only made Brian and Janis more turned on—they were the lucky ones who got to introduce the young woman into the joys of three-way sex.
“Janis was definitely doing the driving in this, which was best anyway, so this girl wouldn’t feel threatened by it,” Brian says. She kissed the girl again and invited her to join her below and share in Brian’s thick cock, and their two tongues circled the width and length of him, stopping to kiss each other, and then Janis would turn her attention back to Brian’s cock and her young friend would mirror her actions. If Janis licked his balls, so did the tattooed girl, if Janis sucked on the tip of his cock, she passed it to her and had her do the same.
“There’s nothing like getting head from two women. Nothing,” Brian adds. From there, Brian says, they kind of rolled to the bedroom. “It was a very different experience: being with a girl I had never been with and with a girl I had been with many, many times. So I made sure to ask the new girl what she liked. Janis and I both made sure to make it a good experience for her, and she obviously liked it a lot.”
At one point, Janis placed the tattooed girl on top of Brian, ordering her to ride him while Janis was practically mauling her breasts, belly, and thighs.
The two friends were very pleased when their playmate had an explosive orgasm on top of Brian while Janis massaged her clit. When she was finished, she unbuckled herself from Brian and excused herself to the bathroom to clean up a bit. Neither Janis nor Brian had come yet and both were still extremely excited by the sight of each other having their way with a beautiful, sexy stranger.
“At that point, me and Janis began to go at it. We started fucking like beasts. It was crazy and violent and definitely our most heated session with each other. So much so, we both forgot about the other girl until one of us looked up and noticed she was sitting on the edge of the bed the entire time masturbating and watching us.” That was the final straw for them. They came with such force, Brian says, that Janis’s legs went completely numb afterward.
But Brian is still uncertain about having this pleasurable type of sex with his current girlfriend, and says he’ll be fine if they never actually do it. He says he’s just happy to say he’s had experiences such as this, something a lot of people haven’t been as fortunate to have.
“I can’t imagine planning it with my girlfriend and being so contrived. I enjoyed just having my primal urges released and being bad. It’s different when you do it with someone you love in that way. I liked what I did with Janis because I didn’t have to think about it. It was just crazy and happening and in the moment.”
You and Your Man Are READY TO ROLL
The time is right
to stop talking and start doing—you’re turned on and confident enough in yourself and your boyfriend to find the right sexy girl and invite her to play with the two of you. But how do you go about making this happen in a way that’s the least uncomfortable and the most fun? It all starts with planning, plotting, and setting down precedents you can both agree on.
It’s important to discuss the ground rules with your boyfriend
before
you go out and find your three-way partner. You don’t want to get your feelings hurt, you don’t want him to get disappointed if certain things don’t happen, and you don’t want him to try anything that’s not on your list.
Here’s the thing: You could structure your three-way with your partner very rigidly—you screw me, then you screw her, then she can blow you, then you can go down on me, but she can’t touch me and I don’t want to touch her. Or of course, if it’s a two-man situation, your man might also have rules—he can’t screw you but you can blow him, and he can go down on you but he can’t kiss you. This is all very well and good—it’s about comfort zones—but
too many
rules can destroy the fun. Wouldn’t you like to abandon yourself to sexual chaos and just let what feels good feel good?
Also, in the throes of passion, don’t be surprised if you want to break boundaries and go farther than you originally discussed. Without letting it get out of hand, you can just say it out loud to keep control, “Baby I want her to suck your cock while I lick her pussy.” It’s that simple. Make the commands, and when it’s gone as far as you want, then you can just as simply verbalize that as well. “Come here and kiss me while she sucks my tits.”
You can start and stop at any point without being disrespectful to your new friend or seeming like a prude to your man. Again, this is your party, you can do whatever you want and no one is going to question it. You are giving your boyfriend a beautiful gift and you are giving yourself a tremendous treat. As long as the communication is there, there should be no problems or pitfalls for anyone involved.
Tip
A Threesome Is the Same as a Twosome
In actuality, the same rules of attraction apply in a threesome as in a twosome:1. You have to be physically attracted to each other.
2. You have to be equally into the idea of getting it on.
3. You have to show respect.
4. You have to enjoy a certain amount of verbal banter off the court (that is, it helps if you get along).
5. You have to listen to each other’s wants and needs (such as, “I want you to suck my cock and I need you to be careful not to use your teeth”).