Three Plays: The Young Lady from Tacna, Kathie and the Hippopotamus, La Chunga (23 page)
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Authors: Mario Vargas Llosa
BOOK: Three Plays: The Young Lady from Tacna, Kathie and the Hippopotamus, La Chunga
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EL MONO: And why not? Lituma’s right, it could have happened like that. Just shut your eyes for a moment and imagine Mechita: she rushes into the house looking frantically around to left and right, her little buttocks all clenched with fear.
JOSE: She starts to throw things into her suitcase at breakneck speed, trembling all over, tripping over the furniture, packing the wrong things, unpacking them again, panic-stricken at the thought that at any moment who might arrive but the Great Pimp himself. Out of sheer anxiety her little nipples have become as hard as pebbles. Scrumptious.
JOSEFINO: (
Laughing
) And then what? Go on. What happened next?
Laughing
) And then what? Go on. What happened next?
LITUMA: Then you arrived. Before she finished packing.
JOSEFINO: And I killed her because I caught her packing her suitcase?
EL MONO: No. That would have been your excuse. You killed her because you were furious at the way things had turned out. Remember, I’d practically taken the shirt off your back. Shit, if I ever have another hand like the one I had that night. Holy Whore!
JOSE: Or maybe you got an attack of jealousy. Perhaps Meche told you that Chunga had made her so happy that she was going to come and live with her.
JOSEFINO: I wouldn’t have killed her for that. I’d probably have sent Chunga some flowers. And a postcard saying: ‘Congratulations. You won.’ I’m a bloody fine sport you know!
LA CHUNGA: (
From her armchair, yawning
) It’s nearly twelve and I’m tired. Last orders.
From her armchair, yawning
) It’s nearly twelve and I’m tired. Last orders.
LITUMA: Quiet, Chunga, you’re ruining my inspiration. When
you saw she was in the middle of packing, you asked her, ‘Off for a little holiday then, are we?’ ‘I’m leaving you,’ she said.
you saw she was in the middle of packing, you asked her, ‘Off for a little holiday then, are we?’ ‘I’m leaving you,’ she said.
JOSEFINO: And why would she leave me? She was completely besotted with me.
LITUMA: (
Serious and self-absorbed, not hearing him
) ‘I’m leaving you because I’m in love with a better man than you.’
Serious and self-absorbed, not hearing him
) ‘I’m leaving you because I’m in love with a better man than you.’
JOSEFINO: Better than me? And where did she dig up this … paragon?
LITUMA: ‘Someone who won’t beat me, someone who’ll be faithful to me, and be good to me. Someone who’s not a bastard or a pimp, but who’s decent and honest. And, what’s more, who’s prepared to marry me.’
JOSEFINO: What a fantastic load of crap. None of you lot can find a single good reason why I should have killed Mechita.
LITUMA: You were beside yourself with rage, Josefino. So you laid into her savagely. You probably only intended to give her a trouncing. But you got carried away and finished the poor little thing off.
JOSEFINO: I see. And what the hell did I do with the body?
EL MONO: You threw it in the river.
JOSEFINO: It was September. The river is dry in September. What did I do with the body? Come on, guess. Tell me how I committed my perfect crime?
JOSE: You buried it in the sand, behind your house.
EL MONO: You threw it to the dogs – those German beasts that guard Senor Beckman’s warehouse. They wouldn’t even leave the small bones.
JOSE: OK, I’m bored with these detective games. Let’s go down to the Casa Verde for a quick one. Coming?
JOSEFINO: Why go so far, when you’ve got Chunga there? Go on, give her a taste of what she likes.
LA CHUNGA: I’ll tell him who he can give ‘a taste of what she likes’ to, Josefino, you bastard.
JOSEFINO: Are you insulting my mother by any chance, Chunga? Now that’s one thing I won’t stand for.
LA CHUNGA: Then don’t you insult me.
EL MONO: Take no notice of him, Chunguita. You’ve got to make allowances. He’s from the Gallinacera, remember.
JOSE: It’s a pity you’re always so bad-tempered, Chunga. Specially with us, who are so fond of you. You know you’re our lucky mascot.
(EL MONO
gets up without his friends noticing and approaches
LA CHUNGA.)
gets up without his friends noticing and approaches
LA CHUNGA.)
EL MONO: These tykes are always getting under your skin, aren’t they, Chunga? You’ve got to forgive them – they’re just a bunch of ignoramuses. But I always behave myself, don’t I? I hope you’ve noticed that. I don’t upset you, or make fun of you – and I don’t join in when they’re annoying you either. I love you very much, Chunga.
LA CHUNGA: (
Looking at him compassionately
) You don’t have to put on that good-little-boy act with me. What’s the point? I’m going to give you a good time, whatever you do. Come, give me your hand.
Looking at him compassionately
) You don’t have to put on that good-little-boy act with me. What’s the point? I’m going to give you a good time, whatever you do. Come, give me your hand.
(
She takes his hand and leads him to the staircase. She goes up with him. He looks happy; his eyes have lit up, like a child who’s about to satisfy a burning ambition. The superstuds carry on gambling with El Mono’s ghost.
)
She takes his hand and leads him to the staircase. She goes up with him. He looks happy; his eyes have lit up, like a child who’s about to satisfy a burning ambition. The superstuds carry on gambling with El Mono’s ghost.
)
MECHE: Hello, Monito.
EL MONO: Hello, Meche.
LA CHUNGA: Come in, don’t be afraid, we’re not going to hurt you.
EL MONO: I know you’re both very kind.
MECHE: Come and sit down here, beside me.
(EL MONO
sits on the bed, next to
MECHE. LA CHUNGA
sits on the other side. The two women treat
EL MONO
as if he were a spoilt child, and he too, in his expression and behaviour, seems to have regressed to childhood. A sigh escapes him. And another. It would appear something is preying on his mind, something he would like to share with them, but doesn’t dare.
)
sits on the bed, next to
MECHE. LA CHUNGA
sits on the other side. The two women treat
EL MONO
as if he were a spoilt child, and he too, in his expression and behaviour, seems to have regressed to childhood. A sigh escapes him. And another. It would appear something is preying on his mind, something he would like to share with them, but doesn’t dare.
)
LA CHUNGA: Relax, make yourself at home. Now what’s on
your mind? Don’t be shy, you’re the boss. Your wish is our command.
your mind? Don’t be shy, you’re the boss. Your wish is our command.
MECHE: We’re here to please you in whatever way we can. Now, what turns you on?
LA CHUNGA: Do you want us to do a striptease for you, Monito?
MECHE: Want us to dance together naked, just for you?
EL MONO: (
Hiding his face in horror
) No. No. Please.
Hiding his face in horror
) No. No. Please.
LA CHUNGA: (
Pointing at the bed
) Would you like us to go to bed together, the three of us, with you in the middle?
Pointing at the bed
) Would you like us to go to bed together, the three of us, with you in the middle?
MECHE: Like us to stroke you, until you shout, ‘Stop, stop, I can’t stand any more?’
LA CHUNGA: Do you want us to pose for you?
EL MONO: (
Laughing, very nervously
) Don’t joke like that, please, it embarrasses me. (
Overcome by a sudden attack of melancholy
) You’re such good people, Chunga, Mechita. I’m sorry I’m behaving like this, but I’m not like you. I … I’m a shit.
Laughing, very nervously
) Don’t joke like that, please, it embarrasses me. (
Overcome by a sudden attack of melancholy
) You’re such good people, Chunga, Mechita. I’m sorry I’m behaving like this, but I’m not like you. I … I’m a shit.
LA CHUNGA: Don’t say that. It’s not true.
MECHE: A bit of a clown, perhaps. But you’re a good boy really, Monito.
EL MONO: You’re wrong. I’m not good at all. I’m one of the worst, filthiest little boys around. And don’t try and tell me I’m not. You see, the trouble is, neither of you really knows. If I were to tell you …
LA CHUNGA: Come on then, tell us.
MECHE: You want us to comfort you? Is that what you want?
EL MONO: I don’t want to force you into anything. Only if you insist …
(LA CHUNGA
makes him rest his head on her lap. EL MONO curls up like a frightened child.
)
makes him rest his head on her lap. EL MONO curls up like a frightened child.
)
LA CHUNGA: Come on, rest your head here. Make yourself comfortable.
MECHE: (
In a soft, caressing voice
) Tell us, Monito.
In a soft, caressing voice
) Tell us, Monito.
EL MONO: (
Nervously, and with great difficulty
) I didn’t even realize what I was doing. I was very young, a little boy in short trousers.
Nervously, and with great difficulty
) I didn’t even realize what I was doing. I was very young, a little boy in short trousers.
LA CHUNGA: Are you talking about what happened with the little girl next door? Don
a Jesusa’s daughter.
a Jesusa’s daughter.EL MONO: I was only a little boy. Do little boys act sensibly?
MECHE: Of course not, Monito. So, carry on. I’ll help you. You were keeping watch – waiting for Don
a Jesusa to go out to the market, to her vegetable stall …
a Jesusa to go out to the market, to her vegetable stall …LA CHUNGA: And when she came out, you went into her house without anyone seeing you. Jumping over the bamboo fence by the banana plantation. Wasn’t that it?
EL MONO: Yes. And there she was, squatting down, milking the goat. She was squeezing its teats. Like this. And she wasn’t wearing any knickers, Chunga! I swear it!
MECHE: Don’t worry, we believe you. So you saw everything.
EL MONO: Or rather she showed me everything, Mechita. Why else would she be knickerless? Why else would she be? So that people would see her little thing, so that she could show it off to the men.
LA CHUNGA: Do you mean that she provoked you, Monito? Then you’re not to blame for anything. She was asking for it, the dirty brazen little hussy.
MECHE: Is that what you wanted to tell us? That it was all her fault?
EL MONO: (
Sadly
) Well, no. I was a little bit to blame, too. I mean I did sneak secretly into Dona Jesusa’s house, didn’t I? That’s what burglars do, isn’t it?
Sadly
) Well, no. I was a little bit to blame, too. I mean I did sneak secretly into Dona Jesusa’s house, didn’t I? That’s what burglars do, isn’t it?
LA CHUNGA: But you didn’t go in to steal anything, Monito.
EL MONO: No. I just went in to see the girl.
MECHE: Did you want to see her naked?
EL MONO: I was only small, you understand. I didn’t know what I was doing. I couldn’t yet tell the difference between right and wrong.
LA CHUNGA: But you had a knife, this long, Mono. Remember?
EL MONO: I remember.
MECHE: Didn’t you feel sorry for the girl? Not even when she smiled at you, thinking that it was just an innocent little prank.
EL MONO: It
was
an innocent little prank. But she had no knickers on, Meche. She provoked me. She led me on …
was
an innocent little prank. But she had no knickers on, Meche. She provoked me. She led me on …
LA CHUNGA: (
Admonishing him, not very severely
) Come on, tell
us the truth, Monito. She did have knickers on. You made her take them off.
Admonishing him, not very severely
) Come on, tell
us the truth, Monito. She did have knickers on. You made her take them off.
MECHE: By threatening to kill her. Yes or no, Monito?
EL MONO: Well, perhaps. It’s a long time ago now. I’ve forgotten.
LA CHUNGA: Lies. You haven’t forgotten. You tore off her dress and ordered her to take down her knickers. And when she did, you saw what you wanted to see. Isn’t that it, Monito?
EL MONO: (
Ashamed
) Yes, Chunguita.
Ashamed
) Yes, Chunguita.
MECHE: And you fondled her, didn’t you? And you felt her all over. Yes or no?
EL MONO: (
Distressed
) But I didn’t rape her, Meche. I swear to Almighty God I didn’t rape her. Not that.
Distressed
) But I didn’t rape her, Meche. I swear to Almighty God I didn’t rape her. Not that.
LA CHUNGA: You didn’t rape her? Well, what did you do then? Doesn’t it come to the same thing?
EL MONO: (
Laughing
) How can it be the same thing! Don’t be silly, Chunga. (
Lowering his voice and lifting a finger to his lips, going
shhht! shhht!
as if he were going to reveal a great secret
) I put it up her little one, don’t you see? But she remained intact where it counted. There wasn’t a blemish, not even a scratch, it was all in one piece for her husband to break on the night of his wedding. It’s a very important distinction. Ask Padre García if you like. ‘If the hymen isn’t broken, I’ll absolve you. But if it is, there’s no excuse, you little so-and-so, you’ll have to marry Jesusa’s little girl.’ Well, she didn’t marry me, in other words … You women keep your honour in that tiny little treasure chest – that’s why you must protect it, tooth and nail. But we men, on the other hand, keep our honour round the other side. And woe betide anyone who gets it up his little one, because bingo, he’s buggered for the rest of his life. (LA CHUNGA
and
MECHE
look at him, teasing and silent — and he becomes sad and remorseful. He sits up.
)
Laughing
) How can it be the same thing! Don’t be silly, Chunga. (
Lowering his voice and lifting a finger to his lips, going
shhht! shhht!
as if he were going to reveal a great secret
) I put it up her little one, don’t you see? But she remained intact where it counted. There wasn’t a blemish, not even a scratch, it was all in one piece for her husband to break on the night of his wedding. It’s a very important distinction. Ask Padre García if you like. ‘If the hymen isn’t broken, I’ll absolve you. But if it is, there’s no excuse, you little so-and-so, you’ll have to marry Jesusa’s little girl.’ Well, she didn’t marry me, in other words … You women keep your honour in that tiny little treasure chest – that’s why you must protect it, tooth and nail. But we men, on the other hand, keep our honour round the other side. And woe betide anyone who gets it up his little one, because bingo, he’s buggered for the rest of his life. (LA CHUNGA
and
MECHE
look at him, teasing and silent — and he becomes sad and remorseful. He sits up.
)
Yes, it’s true, you’re right about what you’re thinking. It was very wicked what I did to the little girl. I could fool Padre García, but not you. I know that when I die, God will punish me for it.
LA CHUNGA: Why wait so long, Monito?
MECHE: We could punish you now.
(EL MONO
takes off his belt and gives it to her. He adopts a position suitable for being whipped.
)
takes off his belt and gives it to her. He adopts a position suitable for being whipped.
)
All right. Take away all my filth — make me pay for my wickedness. Don’t spare me. Take away my honour, Chunga, Mechita.
LA CHUNGA and MECHE: (
As they beat him
) Naughty little boy! You bad-mannered child! You beastly little boy! You depraved child! Vicious little boy! Wicked child! Degenerate!
As they beat him
) Naughty little boy! You bad-mannered child! You beastly little boy! You depraved child! Vicious little boy! Wicked child! Degenerate!
(EL MONO
groans, receives the strokes, cowering, sweating with a sense of enjoyment that culminates in a spasm of ecstacy.
MECHE
and
LA CHUNGA
sit down and watch him. Satisfied but melancholy, he stands up, wipes his forehead, puts on his belt again and combs his hair. Without looking at them he leaves the room discreetly and takes his place again at the table of the superstuds.
)
groans, receives the strokes, cowering, sweating with a sense of enjoyment that culminates in a spasm of ecstacy.
MECHE
and
LA CHUNGA
sit down and watch him. Satisfied but melancholy, he stands up, wipes his forehead, puts on his belt again and combs his hair. Without looking at them he leaves the room discreetly and takes his place again at the table of the superstuds.
)
LA CHUNGA: Are you going without even saying goodbye or thank you, Monito?
MECHE: Come back and tell us more whenever you like, Monito.
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