This Time Around (Maybe) (2 page)

“Yes, I’ve been asking Reid who she is but he keeps telling me it’s your story to tell,” she grumbles, crossing her arms over her chest.

I clear my throat. “She is my ex…” I trail off.

“I gathered that much,” Summer says dryly. She moves so she’s kneeling on the couch, facing me.

“We broke up. She moved away, and now she’s back,” I tell her. I’m leaving a fair bit out, but I don’t think I’m ready to talk about what happened. That would make it real, and I don’t want to see the disappointment in
Summer’s eyes when she finds out the truth. I still see the look on Taiya’s face and it cuts me, right down to my soul.

“And you still love her,” she says, her voice soft with understanding.

“I’ll always love her,” I tell her, looking away.

“What’s the problem then? You’re an amazing guy
. She would be lucky to have you,” Summer says, her voice hardening.

“She
left on bad terms, and by now, she has definitely moved on,” I say quickly. Even the words hurt. It’s not my place, and I haven’t been a saint while she’s been gone, but that doesn’t mean that it doesn’t hurt. Emotions aren’t always logical. I used different women to try and forget Taiya; it never worked and I’m not proud of it, but it’s what I’ve done for the past year. Taiya’s words in the letter she left behind told me to move on, and believe me; I tried. I’m never disrespectful to women, or treat them badly or anything like that. All the women I’ve been with know the score, and I’m still on good terms with them…except Taiya. I keep asking myself what is truly worse. Me having only physical relationships with different women, or her making an emotional one with a new man? I know there is no right or wrong in my situation, or if there were, I would be in the wrong. It’s not that I don’t want her happy either, because I want nothing more than that. It’s just…I know no other man will love Taiya the way I do, know her the way I do. I don’t regret punching her new boyfriend either. I hate to admit it, but it actually felt pretty damn good. To think he’s had his hands all over her…

“Ryan, stop wallowing. If you want her
, go and get her,” Summer says, pulling me out of my thoughts. She glances down at my now clenched fists and grins. “I can see why she has you tied up in knots. She’s possibly the most beautiful chick I’ve ever seen.”

“She’s a lot more than that,” I say quietly, casting my gaze down.

“Do you want me to beat her up?” Summer says with mock ferocity, making me grin.

“No
, I don’t want you to beat up Taiya. But thanks for the offer,” I tell her, shaking my head back and forth, amused at her words.

“What? I could take her!” she says, standing up and flexing her arms as proof.

“No one is
taking
anyone,” I say. Summer bursts out laughing. “Try telling Reid that. Trust me, he will want to take me later,” she says, her mouth lifting in a wide smile.

I cringe. “You worry me
, Summer.”

“You love me.”

“I’m stuck with you.”

“Yes, you are,” she says, her voice going soft. “Listen to me. You are Ryan Knox. Local heartthrob and all
-round amazing guy. Whatever you messed up, you can fix it. The question is how much work are you willing to put in to win her back? Just how important is she to you?”

I puff out a breath. “She’s everything.”

“There’s your answer then,” she says, looking a little smug.

“That easy
, huh?”

“That easy,” she repeats. I watch as she steps toward me, and leans down to peck me on the cheek.

“I gotta head out. Family dinner,” she says, patting me once on the head like a dog before walking out of my apartment. The second I hear the door close, the place feels colder.

Summer has that
effect.

My mind drifts to
Taiya, to the last time I saw her. Besides her hair being a little longer, she is exactly the same as I remember her. Caramel-coloured skin, showing off her mixed South African heritage, intelligent green eyes and the most kissable lips. Don’t even get me started on her body, but for me, Taiya is more than her appearance. She’s smart, witty, kind and loving. She is as loyal as they come, and a woman that any man would be proud to have by his side. I had all that, and I lost it.

I hope to God it’s true that everyone deserves a second chance.

Chapter Two

“Hello Ryan, long time no see,
” Rita says in an accented voice. She flashes me a grin, and smooths her dark greying hair back off her dark-skinned cheek. “Come on in,” she says, gesturing with her hand for me to enter.

“As always, you’re a lot more welcoming than your daughter,” I joke as she pulls me in for a quick hug
, before I pass her. We both walk into the kitchen.

“Don’t you start
, Ryan Knox,” she says in a mock stern voice.

I raise my hands. “Just stating the facts
, Rita. Is Taiya in?”

“No she’s not. And you used to call me mum
,” she says, her smile fading. I notice that she’s lost a lot of weight, and looks tired.

“And if things go my way, I will be calling you that again soon,” I tell her with a wink.

She doesn’t smile like I thought she would. Instead, she says, “Taiya told me she gave you the divorce papers.”

“She did. Everything was d
one, all I had to do was sign them and hand them over to my lawyer,” I say, swallowing hard.

She nods her head twice before pinning me with her dark eyes. “I don’t know how you’re
gonna fix this, Ryan.”

I don’t know how I’m going to fix it either, but I’m sure as hell going to try.
“Where is she?” I ask, changing the subject. I really don’t want to upset Taiya’s mother, drilling her with questions about her daughter. I have about a hundred I’d like to ask, but instead I pick a safe topic.

“She’s gone apartment hunting.”

I nod. Of course, she would want her own place now that she’s back. “How are you?” I ask, worried about the change in her appearance.

“I’m okay
. Don’t you worry about me,” she says, grinning. “I think you have your hands full already.”

I smirk, knowing how true that really is.
“Nice seeing you again, Rita.”

“You too
, Ryan. You sure you don’t want to stay for something to eat?” she asks, her gaze roaming over my frame, trying to see if I’ve lost weight. The woman is always trying to fatten me up.

“I’m fine, but thank you,” I tell her. I kiss her on the cheek
, before returning to my car, and heading straight to the bar. Knox’s Tavern, AKA my second home, is completely dead with only one car in the car park. That car belongs to Tag. I walk in and see him standing there against the bar, checking something on his phone.

“Working hard, or hardly working?” I ask in a dry tone as I walk up towards him. He glances up and grins, before returning his attention back to the phone.

“I’m pretty busy, as you can see,” he says, pointing to the empty, spotless bar. He slides his phone into his jeans and looks back up at me, running his finger through his goatee.

“You can
head home early if you want,” I offer, knowing he would love to have the extra time with his daughter.

“You sure?” he asks, slapping me on my back.

“Yeah, I think I can handle the excitement all alone.”

Tag chuckles
, “I’m sure you can. I’ll see you tomorrow then.”

“See ya
, buddy,” I say, taking out some of the paperwork I have to get done tonight.

Thinking that this was goi
ng to be a boring uneventful night, it all changes an hour later when Taiya herself walks into the bar. Tight jeans and top, my gaze can’t help but roam a little south.

“Eyes up here
, Ryan,” she says, pursing her pink lips.

“That’s twice in a week you’ve dropped by
, Taiya. You miss me?” I ask. My voice is teasing but laced with hope. A man can dream, right?

“Yeah, like a disease. My lawyer just rang and said you didn’t sign the papers,” she says, crossing her arms over her chest.
I try not to glance down at her breasts but fail.

“That
is correct, yes.” I didn’t sign them, and I don’t intend on signing them. That piece of paper is the last thing holding us together, our last tie. No way in hell I’m going to sever it. I’m going to hold on for as long as I can.

“You said you would take care of it,” she says accusingly.

I sigh and turn to the fridge behind me, reaching down to pull out her favourite soft drink. I place it in front of her, and then continue the conversation, “I lied.”

“Yes
, you seem to make a habit of that, don’t you, Ryan?” she says with a scoff, pushing away the drink with her hand, rejecting my peace offering. She taps her glittery nails on the table, her eyes... daring me. To say what? I have no idea what’s going on in that head of hers right now, but I intend to find out. I used to know what she’s thinking, know her better than herself, but right now, she has me stumped. I’m looking forward to getting to know her all over again, inside and out. I can’t keep my eyes off her. I think I could stare at her for hours, noticing subtle changes since I last saw her. Smiling at things that are exactly the same. My eyes are hungry for the sight of her.

Wanting something so bad
ly, having it right in front of me but not being able to touch it? Hell on Earth.

“I never lied to you
, Taiya,” I tilt my head. “I was going to sign them. Until I changed my mind. And I’ve never lied to you in the past, if you want to get into that right now.”

“I’m good
, thanks,” she says quietly, glancing around the bar. “Nice place.”

“Thanks,” I say softly.
Taiya was with me when we bought the bar, and for the grand opening. It’s changed a fair bit since then, as we made more money to do it up. “Did you find an apartment?”

Her eyes flare, surprised. “How did you know I was out looking?”

“Stopped by your house but you were gone. You know I have plenty of room at my place,” I offer, adding a charming smile and a raised eyebrow.

Her lip twitches. Such a small gesture, yet the best I’ve gotten so far. I’m considering it progress. “Sure, live with my ex-husband
. I’m sure that’s a great idea,” she says sarcastically.

“Husband,” I correct.

“What?”

“I’m not your ex-husband
. I’m your husband,” I repeat.

She lifts her shoulder in a shrug
, trying to play it off like she doesn’t care, but I don’t miss the flash of anger in her eyes. “You don’t act like my husband, and a piece of paper doesn’t change that.”

“Ouch,” I say
, putting my hand over my heart. “I’m glad a piece of paper doesn’t change anything for you, because I’m not signing those papers.”

She is silent for a moment before she responds. “You never used to be this selfish
, Ryan,” she says softly, looking down into her drink. My heart hurts in that moment; the pressure actually burns.

“Yeah
, well, I used to have you,” I reply quietly, now looking down myself. When I glance up at her, she’s already watching me. Her eyes speak for her, letting me see much more than she would ever say out loud. I hurt her enough that it perhaps changed her, but
my
Taiya is still standing in front of me.

“You’re going to
put this on me?” she says, wrinkling her nose. My hand aches to reach out and touch her, to run my finger along the curve of her jaw, my thumb across the bottom of her lip. But I don’t. She’s not ready for that… yet.

“No. Does it matter?” I ask her, my eyes darting to the door as a customer walks in. She turns her head to follow my line of sight, giving me a glimpse of the tattoo behind her ear. The letter R she got tattooed right after I proposed to her. The letter is in the centre of an infinity
sign, and has a little red heart connected to it.

“Sign the papers
, Ryan,” she says, sounding resigned. I reach out and trace her tattoo with my finger. She shivers at my touch, before pulling away so she’s out of my reach.

“We can talk about it over dinner,” I suggest, needing to be around her anyway I can.
When it comes to her, I will take whatever I can get. She purses her lips but doesn’t say yes or no, just flashes me a curious look as she turns to walk out. My eyes follow her until she leaves my sight.

*****

“What are you doing here?” Taiya asks as she open the door to her house.

I try to hide my nervousness and put on a smile. “
Last night, you said we could talk. Over dinner.”

She gapes. “No
,
you
said we could talk over dinner. I didn’t respond. My silence was a no.”

“Well
, you should have been clearer.”

“How much clearer could I have
been? I don’t want to have dinner with you, Ryan. What are we going to do? Reminisce on the old times? Like when you ripped my heart out and stomped on it? That’s a good place to start,” she says, hurting me with each word.