This Time Around (Maybe) (10 page)

“Hey Isis!” he calls out to my roommate.
She calls out a hello in return.

“No need to yell,” I tell him, wincing as my head pounds.

“Sorry,” he apologises, staring at my thighs. He doesn’t sound sorry at all. We walk into my room and sit down on the bed. I can’t help but remember the last time we were alone in this room together, and I can feel the heat rise up my neck. That was pretty fucking embarrassing.

“Is everything okay?” I ask, confused as to why he’s here. I’m pretty sure we said what we needed to, and although there was a lot more we needed to discuss
, I still needed time to think things over.

“Yes, I just forgot to do something when I walked you to your door.”

“What?”

“This,” he says, cupping my face in his hands and capturing my lips in a kiss. Not just any kiss. He’s telling me something with this kiss
; I can feel it. I understand it. The emotion, the… love. It’s undeniable. My tongue slips out to taste his, timidly at first. When I turn to straddle him, he pulls away, eyes shining.

“That was some kiss,” I gasp, breathless.

He smiles widely, showing off his perfect straight teeth. “I’m glad you approve.”

“
He just kissed me into submission.” When he starts laughing, hard, I realise I’ve said that out loud.

I don’t have time to feel embarrassed because h
e stands up, leaning over me to kiss me on my forehead. “I’m going into work. You know where to find me whenever you want to finish that conversation.”

With that, he exits the room, leaving me more confused than ever.

Chapter Twelve

Ryan

It’s been two weeks and Taiya still hasn’t come to me. I thought I was making the right decision, putting the ball in her court, not so patiently waiting for her to come to me. We’ve seen each other in passing, and even spoken a few times, discussing everything except what we should be.
Us
. I want her back with me, moving in with me in my apartment. At least she hasn’t mentioned the divorce papers, so I guess that’s something at least. I look at the time, wanting to go home. It’s been busy all evening, and I have an hour until Reid gets here so I can go home early. When Summer walks into the bar with Taiya, I know that my luck has changed. She hasn’t stepped in my bar since the night she and Summer went out. She is a sight for sore fucking eyes. She’s wearing jeans, so tight they are like a second skin, and a peach-coloured top, showing off a hint of cleavage. I couldn’t stop the smile on my face if I wanted to.

“You’re here,” I blurt out. Does this mean something?

“Yeah, Summer insisted we come out for a drink,” she says, and my hope plummets.

I look down to mask my disappointment. “Right, of course. Summer,
your usual?”

“Yes, please
, Ry,” she says.

“
Taiya, how about you?”

“I’ll have the same please,” she says, sitting down in front of me on the stool. I make them two vodka sunrises and place them in front of them. Not accepting
Taiya’s money, I’m almost insulted she would think I would ever expect her to pay. Hell, this business is hers too if she wants it. Reid walks in earlier than I expected him to, obviously because Summer’s here. He kisses Summer, says hi to Taiya, and then walks around the bar.

“What, no hello for me?” I say, clasping my hand over my heart.

Reid pinches my cheek. “Feeling left out, are you?”

“Yes,” I say, playfully pouting. Reid puckers his lips and brings them towards my cheek in slow motion. I step out of the way in time and elbow him in the stomach.

“You perve, at least take me out on a date first,” I joke. I see Reid’s smile turn into a frown, and follow his line of sight. Seeing Mia walk into the bar, I wonder what the hell she’s doing here.

“You want me to deal with her?” I ask, seeing Reid staring at
Summer. I don’t wait for him to reply. Instead, I walk out and meet Mia halfway.

“Is River okay?” I ask instantly.

“He’s fine. I’m just here for a drink,” she says, pursing her bright red lips.

I cross my arms over my chest. “Really? Out of every bar in the city
, you decide to come in here?”

She rolls her eyes. “I’m not here to cause any trouble
, Ryan.” She reaches out and puts her hand on my bicep. “I’m seriously just here for a drink.” Before I can answer or remove her hand, Taiya walks up and stands next to me. She puts her arm around my waist possessively, and stares at Mia.

“Everything okay here?” she asks, lifting one of her dark eyebrows.

“Fine,” I say, leaning down to kiss the top of her head. I take advantage of the moment and put my arm around her, pulling her into my body.

“Hello
Taiya,” Mia says, lips curling is distaste. I almost forgot these two knew each other.

“Mia. I understand you’ve been with the other two Knox men
, but you won’t be getting your claws into this one,” Taiya says softly, but her voice is laced with steel.

I grin at her comment, and look up at Mia. “Give me a second.”

She walks past us and sits at the bar, right next to Summer. Great.

“You never came to see me,” I tell her, getting straight to the point. She tries to look down
so I gently lift her chin up with my thumb. “Why?” She mumbles something I don’t hear. “What did you say?”

“I said, I’m scared,” she says, so soft
ly that I have to strain to hear her.

“You don’t need to be scared
, beautiful,” I tell her. It kills me that she feels like this, but I know if she gives me the chance, I can fix our marriage. “I want nothing as much as I want you, Tay. I’m not going to mess anything up this time. You need to give me a chance to prove myself,” I tell her. She licks her bottom lip, before giving me a slight nod. I exhale heavily, feeling relief and hope pour through my system.

“You won’t regret it,” I tell her, before kissing her gently. I take her hand into mine, intertwining our fingers and walk her back to her seat. Reid has served Mia her drink, and is leaning over the bar talking with
Summer, their foreheads almost touching.

“You want me to take you home?” I ask her.

“Are you going now?” she asks, and I nod. “I’ll come with you.” It feels like Christmas morning. We say our byes and I walk her to my bike. I pick her up by her curvy hips and place her on, putting the helmet over her head. The curls sticking out from underneath make me smile. Nothing can fully contain that hair of hers. I slide my leg over and hop on. Taiya holds on tight, her arms around my stomach, gripping onto my abs. I have one last thought before I ride off.

This is exactly where I’m meant to be.

*****

“I thought you were taking me home,” she says as we walk into my apartment.

“I am,” I reply, closing the door behind us. She spins around to face me, studying me for a moment.

“You really want to make our marriage work?”

“More than anything,” I tell her, taking her by the hand and leading her to my bedroom. I turn the knob, opening the door, then pick her up and carry her to my bed. Laying her down gently, I lean down and take off her shoes for her, putting them neatly in the corner of the room. I take off my own, and then jump into bed with her. We lay side by side, both staring at the ceiling. I reach out and grab her hand with mine, absently drawing circles with my thumb on her palm.

“Do you believe me?” I ask. She knows exactly what I’m referring too.

“Yes, I do.”

“
But?” I ask, sensing her hesitation.

“It’s not as simple as that, is it?” No, I guess it isn’t.

“Are you ready to listen?” I ask her. She nods, turning on her side to face me. So I tell her. I tell her how I went to see my father, all the things he said to me. How he told me I was a coward. How I will never be the man Reid is. I tell her how the night Reid got his scar, he was defending our mother from our father, and how I was too scared to do anything about it. Reid’s scar is proof of his courage, and of my cowardice. It’s my shame to bear, and I’ll live with that for the rest of my life.

Who the fuck would marry you
, son? She’s going to figure out you’re worthless sooner or later.

“Ryan
, you were a kid,” she says, squeezing my hand. I shrug, because really that isn’t an excuse. Not in my eyes.

“When I got back home
, Sarah was waiting at the door. She said she was there looking for you. I let her in, and then she started hitting on me. I was numb. I wasn’t thinking. She kissed me, and yes, I kissed her back. It was different. Not even good different, just different.” I clear my throat, not wanting to continue, but knowing I have to. “She took her top off, and I knew that it wasn’t what I wanted, or who I wanted. I told her to get dressed and get out. Instead, she threw herself on me and that’s when you walked in. The look on your face. I couldn’t believe what I was doing, Tay. You were and are everything to me. I don’t know what was wrong with me. I was such a fuck up, just like he said.” I look over at her to see her staring into space, her face expressionless. “I’m so fucking sorry, Tay.”

“So
, would you have continued if I didn’t walk in?” she asks, her voice small. I bring her fingers to my lips and kiss them.

“
No, Tay. No,” I tell her, my eyes pleading with hers to believe me. “And then you left me. You just left, without letting me explain.”

“I need some time to think,” she says, sliding off the bed and standing up. She grabs her shoes and then walks out without looking back.

But what did I expect?

I just told her in detail what happened between
her ex-best friend and me.

Chapter T
hirteen

Taiya

“Really great work, Lisa,” I tell her after she finishes the dance routine.

“Thanks
, Miss Rose!” she answers, smiling proudly. She’s ten-years-old and a born dancer. It makes me feel alive just watching her, and knowing she loves to dance as much as I did when I was her age, as much as I still do. I wait until the last child is picked up, and then lock up the studio. I slide into my car and drive home. I haven’t spoken to Ryan since last week, when he opened up to me and told me everything that went on back then. I still can’t believe of all the women, it was Sarah, my childhood best friend that tried to make a play for my husband. I haven’t seen Sarah since I returned, and I hope I never do.

I never spoke to her after the incident, although she did try and call me a few times, and message me
, giving me the most pathetic excuse of all time. She said she thought it was Reid. “How fucking convenient,” I mutter, making a scoffing sound at the thought. I had no idea about the issues Ryan had with his father. Of course, I knew their dad was an asshole, and was in prison, but I never knew anything else. They didn’t mention him and I didn’t ask. Reid, Ryan and their younger brother, Reece, lived with their Auntie until they were eighteen and then moved out straight away. When we got married, I lived with the two of them in a small two-bedroom apartment. Things were tight, but they still worked for us. The three of us all worked and studied, working hard for a better future. Jack Kane, Summer’s father, offered to give Reid and Ryan a loan to open the bar. The rest is history.

I don’t know why Jack did that, other than the fact he us
ed to be friends with their dad, and watched over them over the years after their mum died. I can’t believe Ryan thinks those things about himself. He was a kid, no one would expect anything from him at that age. He should have been protected himself, not worrying about protecting others. It hurts to think of the childhood he had, but he and Reid have both turned out well, into men their mum would have been proud of. I park my car and get out, my mind still on Ryan. It comes down to two options. I either forgive him completely, or I don’t. I either move on with my life with him in it, or without him. I can’t live in limbo anymore. We both deserve much more than that.

I decide to take the stairs an
d take them two steps at a time, practically jogging to my apartment. As soon as I round the corner, I come to a standstill. Ryan is standing there, dressed to kill, in a crisp white shirt and black pants. His hair is slightly damp and pushed off his face, exposing his chiselled features and full lips. The most surprising part? He’s on his knees, waiting for me.

“Ryan,” I gasp, still in shock.

“The last time I proposed I couldn’t afford the engagement ring you deserved, but this time I can,” he says, his lips curving. He pulls out a black box and opens it so I can see. In the middle, sits the most beautiful ring I have ever seen. A solitary diamond, on a gold band. Simple and classic.

“
Taiya Rose Knox, I have loved you ever since I knew what love was. I want to start over with you. I want to get to know you all over again, and I want to be with you for the rest of my life. Will you re-marry me?” he asks, staring up into my eyes with an expression that makes me melt. He looks hopeful, but also slightly unsure, like he has no idea what my response will be, but he’s putting himself out there anyway.