This Love's Not for Sale (36 page)

Tucker couldn’t believe what he was hearing. All this over a simple question? No, there was more to it than that. “That’s not going to fucking happen. I’m leaving now.”

“No. I’ll just meet you at your place.”

Lilliana ended their call and Tucker
questioned whether or not she would really show up, but he gave her the benefit of the doubt and drove slowly to his home. He wanted time to calm his temper before dealing with her petulance.  When he arrived, he sat in his car for another ten minutes before going inside. He turned the knob and when the door opened, he was stunned into total silence at the image before him.

Lilliana was waiting by the door, naked
, on her knees and with her head bowed in a perfect pose of capitulation.  Tucker was so astounded, his mouth hung open and his keys dropped to the floor next to his feet.

“I’
m sorry, Sir. Please forgive me.”

***

Lilliana’s voice was soft and sticky sweet when it left her mouth, and her insolence was well concealed. She had reacted impetuously when confronted with Tucker’s accusation of not taking her birth control, and needed to put her plan into action sooner than she had anticipated. She wanted to spend the night alone, thinking things through and deciding whether or not it was worth the effort to try and deceive and break Tucker, but he had forced her hand.

When Lilliana heard his keys hit the floor, she knew she had hit a nerve with him. This is what he wanted more than anything: Her absolute, unwavering
obedience.

Tucker twisted
his fingers into her hair and his touch tore at her heart. God, how she loved him. Why did he lie to her? Just for money and a piece of land? Wasn’t her heart, love and loyalty more important than that? No. It was all about how much he could accomplish and win. Lilliana inhaled and stilled. She would not break down and she would follow through at all costs.

Her head swept up gracefully and Tucker’s eyes burned vividly.

“Tell me what you want from me, Tucker. I’ll do anything you desire tonight. No limits. No boundaries. I’m yours to use.” Lilliana’s throat was parched and her words came out choked.  Tucker’s brows furrowed and he tilted his head as his eyes scanned her face for more than a minute.

Tucker’s hoarse whisper broke the silence. “I don’t understand. Why now?”

Lilliana couldn’t think, her heart was too injured and her mind was too clouded with fury to form a coherent response. What would Tucker want her to say? “Because it’s what you want, and I want what you want.”

Lilliana suppressed the queasiness that was bubbl
ing in her belly again. She stared into Tucker’s caramel-colored eyes and thought she saw love reflected back, but knew she was kidding herself. She loved him. She hated him. She needed him. She loathed him. It was too much, she couldn’t go through with it… no…

Tucker reached down and lifted Lilliana into his arms and she buried her face in his neck,
biting back her tears, and inhaling deeply the scent that had embedded itself into her memories and very skin. She wrapped her arms around his neck, wanting to both hold him close and strangle him into unconsciousness.

Entering the bedroom, Lilliana wondered what debauchery Tucker had planne
d for her. A flogging or possibly a harsh paddling? Bound and tied to within an inch of her life, maybe. Perhaps, strange and awkward positions that would test her physical limits. Breath play? God, she hoped not that.

Tucker laid her on the bed and undressed slowly
for her. Lilliana’s eyes wandered over the body that she would soon be saying goodbye to. She would miss his tattoos and firm body pressed against her. She would miss his taste and smell, his commanding voice, his intense and protective gaze, his kind compliments, his firm touch and soft kisses… She would miss absolutely everything about him.

Money. Land. Lies.
An overwhelming sickness and emptiness swept over Lilliana. Fuck him. The rage came again in a flash and Lilliana gritted her teeth. Lilliana leaned back flat on the bed, ready for whatever torture he was going to impose on her, but to her astonishment, he simply climbed in bed with her and made sweet love to her. Nothing more; nothing less. She blocked it all out and dreamed of a better time; a time when she didn’t know about his lies and she still believed there was a future with him; a time only a few hours ago when she realized that she could love again.

Lilliana
went through the motions - moaning, groaning, meeting his thrusts, and crying out his name in ecstasy, all the while meaning none of it.  They made love twice more that night and gave into him in all ways. When he placed the leash that she had learned to love around her neck, it took every bit of strength not to openly weep at his feet and beg him for an explanation. He guided her to the foot of the bed where his hands roamed over her body and he whispered words of appreciation and praise, and Lilliana kept her eyes to the floor for fear her rage and anguish would shine through.

When
he lay next to her, she waited for the sound of his breathing to deepen and slow, and then stumbled into the dark bathroom. Allowing herself to finally break down, she buried her face in a terry cloth robe to muffle her misery. She showered and washed off all traces of the liar she was madly in love with.

Lilliana
hardly sleep that night because of her tortured dreams, but Tucker slept as though he was a bear in hibernation. He reached for her several times during the night, but she pushed him away, not wanting any more of his deceptive touches.

Only a few hours later, the sun came up and Lilliana opened her eyes. She had only slept a total of two h
ours and she felt weary, torn and heartsick. Her eyes were swollen from crying and her body ached from the passionate love she and Tucker had made.

Tucker’s eyes fluttered opened and he rubbed them with the back of his hand.
He rolled onto his side and his eyes scanned her face. “I’m so in love with you,” he whispered out dreamily as he ran his finger over Lilliana’s lips.

Lilliana sat straight up.
No.
How could he be so cruel to say such a thing? What kind of person was he? Wasn’t it bad enough he had abused her trust and taken her submission, all the while knowing he had misled and lied to her?

“How dare you,”
she snapped, disgusted with him.

“What?” Tucker sa
t up, confused. His eyes searched hers for some kind of clarification.

Lilliana’s face was a glowering mask of anger and hurt.
“Is this part of your game?”

Tucker gave her a narrowed glinting stare.
“I tell you I love you and you think I’m playing games with you? What the hell, Lilly?”

“I know about your plan to get my land and about your lies,” she blurted out.

Tucker’s cheeks reddened and he looked down at the bed. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

Tucker’s voice was low and discomfited, and any hope Lilliana held out for Tucker’s truthfulness died the moment she saw the guilt written on his face.
“Another lie. I heard your conversation with Darren. I heard you. He said you only wanted me for my land.”

Tucker’s eyes rounded.
“I am
not
with you for that reason.”

“You didn’t deny it, did you?
You told him you did what needed to be done,” Lilliana shouted. “And all those realtors and investors? You told them my land was spoken for, didn’t you?”

“Yes, but… why didn’t you come to me
yesterday after you overheard that conversation?”

Lilliana didn’t want to answer the question.

Tucker’s eyes shot up to hers when she didn’t respond. “Why?” he said loudly.

“I wanted revenge,” she answe
red as her throat closed up with embarrassment.

“So last night… w
hat was that?” he asked with a steely edge to his voice.

“Payback,” she said even softer. She knew her admission made her just as terrible as Tucker.

Tucker frowned, but to her disappointment he wasn’t as upset as she had hoped, and it proved to her that he really didn’t have any feelings for her. Lilliana’s tears threatened to choke the life out of her, but she fought them back.

“I only lied in the beginning. The rest was really me,” he finally said.

“
Only
the beginning? Is that supposed to make me feel better? That’s the most important part. That’s the part that made me believe in you. That’s the part that made me trust you. I told you that lying was a deal-breaker, Tucker. I told you that up front!”

“Lilly… I should’ve told you, but… You once told me I never had to explain my actions to you.”
Tucker’s usual confident voice was barely a whisper.

“That was before I knew you were a liar and a thief,” she started to cry despite her trying to hold back her tears.

Tucker winced as if he had been physically assaulted. “I never stole from you.”

“Like hell you didn’t! You stole my heart and more than that, my trust. I gave you all of me. I gave you my submission, something that was so hard for me to do. I let you punish me! I wish you had cheated on me because I can get over that kind of betrayal. But to lie to me like you did… and for so long… And to do the things you did to me… You hurt me far worse than Adam ever did.”

Tucker gasped and choked back tears. “Don’t say that.”

More tears slowly found their way down Lilliana’s cheeks.
“I met your family. You said I was different. You told me I belonged to you; that I was your pet,” Lilliana’s hard voice softened to a breathy whisper while she continued to sob, “You said forever. All for what? A piece of property? Money?”

“I meant all of that and I swear to Christ I do
not
want you for your God damned land!” Tucker bellowed with possessive desperation in his husky voice.

He grabbed
Lilliana by the shoulders and she thrashed and pulled from his grip. “And I’m supposed to believe you now? How much of our relationship was real, Tucker? How much of it was fake? Where did the lie end and the truth begin? Do you even know anymore?”

Lilliana turned her face away, unable to stand the look in Tucker’s eyes. She wanted to believe he meant it, but she knew he was nothing but a liar and a
phony, and she was nothing but a damned fool for ever having fallen for the man everyone warned her about. He had sliced her heart and soul open and laid them bare for everyone to see.

“I’m such an idiot,” she cried into her hands. “An idiot and a fool with a small-town mentality to think that you would ever want anything more from me than my land.”

Tucker reached a hand out and touched Lilliana cautiously. “Don’t say that, Lilly. Please don’t cry…”

Lilliana suddenly became enraged. She’d never shed another tear for this man, or any man.  She sucked back
her tears and glared at Tucker. “You want the land? It’s yours. You know I can’t afford to keep it.”

“I can pay the
taxes for you, pet…” Tucker’s sympathetic eyes and compassionate tone infuriated Lilliana even more.

“In return for what? Me? I told you I wasn’t for sal
e. My love was never for sale!”

Lilliana stood and frantically began to dress.

“Oh, God, Lilly, please don’t leave like this. We can work it out,” Tucker panted out panicked.

Lilliana laughed sarcastically at Tucker’s ridiculousness. Did he really think such a thing could be over-looked? Was he that delusional to believe that his lies could be forgiven or was he just so egotistical to think that she would fall at his feet regardless of what he had done?

“Draw up the contract, Tucker. The land is yours. Do with it what you will. Whore it out and build an apartment complex on it like those sons-of-bitches did with your parent’s land. Sell my family’s legacy, you cold-hearted, lying bastard. As for our so-called
eternity
- consider it finished.”

***

Tucker stood, naked, exposed and cut to the bone. “You lied, too. You played with my emotions and surrendered to my will under false pretenses so don’t pretend like you’re innocent in all of this. I fell hard for you and now you’re leaving? You just ripped my soul out by admitting last night was a lie. You were a fake just as much as me. The only difference is you followed through with your plan; I didn’t.”

Tucker was angry with Lilliana for having lied to him
so grievously. The previous night was the best he had ever experienced with a woman and it was all a motherfucking lie.

He could suddenly imagine how Lilliana felt and he was
revolted with himself.

Lilliana went about dressing herself and
refusing to look at Tucker. He just wanted to see her exquisite almond-shaped eyes but she stared defiantly anywhere but at him.

“You’re right about me following through. If you taught me anything, Tucker, it was to win at all costs regardless of who would be hurt. But you’re wrong about me giving myself to you under false pretenses. I surrendered to you willingly
like the stupid fool that I am,” she countered, her voice cold and exact.