A Fine Cauldron Of Fish

On the Isle of Man you can
find the vampire spirits known as the
lhiannan shee
, dwelling in sea caves
where they keep a red cauldron filled with the blood of their human
lovers. Mortal men cannot resist them, they enchant and enslave
them by their beauty alone.

"A Fine Cauldron Of Fish is a very
funny story of gods and sidhe on the Isle of Man. This is just a
quick, fun read and one I highly recommend."

Reviewed by Chere Gruver of Paranormal
Romance

“What do you get when two clumsy people
get together an outright laugh a minute comedy in A Fine Cauldron
of Fish. A Fine Cauldron of Fish is the second book I have read by
Ms. Amiri and I was happy to experience that Cornelia is such a
universe writer from historical romance to now comedies but with
still keeping her uniqueness that her fans love.”

Reviewed by Cheryl Koch of Cheryls Book
Nook

“A Fine Cauldron of Fish is hilarious.
I laughed out loud several times through this story. Finding
stories so creative and full of wit is a joy and I thoroughly
enjoyed this one. If you like things a bit out of the ordinary and
are in the mood for a fun light-heart read, then I recommend
this.”

Reviewed by Vee at Night Owl Romance
Book Reviews

A Fine Cauldron Of Fish

Cornelia Amiri

Publsihed by Cornelia Amiri at
Smashwords

A Fine Cauldron of Fish©2013 by
Cornelia Amiri

This is a revised edition of Cornelia
Amiri’s

A Fine Cauldron Of Fish,

Previously published in 2008 by Eternal
Press

Cover Art©2013 by Julie
Darcy

This ebook is licensed for your
personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given
away to other people. If you would like to share this book with
another person, please purchase an additional copy for each
recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or
it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to
Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting
the hard work of this author.

All rights reserved. No part of this
book may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means,
electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording or by
any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in
writing from Cornelia Amiri.

Cornelia Amiri

P. O. Box 740186

Houston, TX 77274

This book is a work of fiction.
Characters, names, places and incidents are either the product of
the author’s imagination or are used fictionously, and any
resemblance to any actual persons, living or dead, events, or
locales is entirely coincidental.

A Fine Cauldron of Fish

By Cornelia Amiri

Ready to pounce on the first virile
man she spotted, Margaid tread water near a docked boat. With the
salty taste of the sea on her tongue, she drew in a long, deep gulp
of air. Wet hair whipped her shoulders as she shook her head in
anger, still seething about the sea god’s threat.

“
You are the only one of
the
lhiannan shee
who gives me problems. All the others use their beauty to lure
and seduce men then drain their blood into red cauldrons,” she
imitated Mannan beg mac y Leir in a clownish voice.

Margaid swept her long red
hair back from her freckled face. Maybe he was right. She deserved
to be turned into a water horse. She hadn’t been a good
lhiannan shee
all these
centuries. She never once did what the
lhiannan shee
were supposed to
do.

The muscles in her neck clinched like
a knot tugged tight. She didn’t like blood. It was too red and
smelly and…yuck bloody.

Her attention shifted to one of the
poles supporting the dock. With the gentle sway of the waves, water
rose and fell against the wood, moving up and down the thick pole,
again and again. The muscles in her abdomen pulled tight and her
breath grew shallow. She was hot. “From spending too much time
alone,” she said aloud. She needed a hard, muscular man in her cave
on the sea bed. Have some fun with the human before she filled her
cauldron with his blood.

The red orb in the sky hung over
Douglas Bay as it set. Margaid peered at a huge building, lit up
like gold. She'd heard people call it things like ‘the Hilton’ and
‘the casino.’ As a man walked out of the building, she smiled,
gazing at his hair, the color of the yellow sponge plants that
clung to the boulders by the entrance of her underwater cave. His
only imperfection was a cowlick, which stuck out like the feathers
on a crested bird.

Margaid swam here to find a man. Now
she’d spotted one. She glided through the water toward him. As she
approached, she noticed he squinted his eyes, which made him look
rather funny. It also eased the shakiness inside her.

“
Laa mie
,”
she greeted him in her most
tempting tone.

He stepped to the edge of the dock
where she tread water. “Hi.”

“
Come join me, the water’s
fine.” Why is he still squinting? It’s nighttime, so it’s not
because of the sun’s glare. “Jump in for a swim.”

“
I don’t have my swim
trunks.” He leaned his head to the side and pressed his lips
together. “My luggage was lost.”

“
Did you look for
it?”

His rich chuckle danced in the air.
“No, the airline lost it. My contacts were in it.”

“
Your contacts? People you
know?”

“
You’re funny.” His mouth
spread into a dimpled smile though he still squinted his eyes. “No,
for my eyes, like glasses but better.” He shrugged. “My eyes
irritated me, so to be comfortable on the flight, I took out my
contacts and stuffed them in a carry-on bag before we boarded. But
my mom had two carry-on satchels and her purse, so they shoved mine
in the baggage compartment, where they lost it.” He smiled. “They
should find it soon.”

“
You came in an airplane.”
Perfect, a stranger from far away. “I’ve seen them fly over the
sea.”

“
Yeah, I’m from
America.”

“
America? Is it a large
island, like Man?”

“
No, much larger.” There
was a trace of laughter in his voice. “And it’s not an island.”
Pausing, he tapped his finger against his chin. “Oh, you probably
call it the United States.”

“
I’ve never met anyone who
didn’t live on an island.” She flashed her brightest smile at him.
“So you’ve come to live here on Man instead of America?”

“
No, we’re on vacation.” He
hesitated. “Well my mother and brother came to discover their
roots, but I came for fun. I stumbled from the hotel club to see
what else was out here.”

She bobbed her head in agreement. “I
also come to the island at night to look at what’s out
here.”

“
Anything going down
tonight, do you know the spot to go to?”

“
Yes, I’ll take you there,
jump in.” She curled her fingers and gestured to him.

“
In the water?”

“
Yes, under the
sea.”

Laughter flowed from deep in his
throat.

“
You don’t need a swim
suit.” In response to his contagious chuckles, her giggles rippled
through the air. “Slip off your shoes and dive in.”

“
Why not?” He kicked off
his shoes. “Is that a bikini you’re wearing?”

“
No, a chiton. It’s easy to
swim in.”

“
Oh, I know it’s short and
sleeveless, other than that it’s hard to see without my contacts.”
He shed his black t-shirt with the graphic of a helmeted rider,
tagged ‘Isle of Man, Road Racing Capital of the World.’

Margaid’s eyes locked on his rock
solid chest, the flat, dusky nipples, the smooth flesh of his
defined abdomen ripped into six sections, and the dip of his belly
button in the center of his firm, taut stomach. Her palms itched to
touch and caress his strong body. Her eyes drifted to his jeans and
the large bulge between his thighs, which proved she aroused him as
much as he stirred her desire.

“
Shouldn’t you take your
pants off before you jump in?” Even in the cold water she felt hot,
her heart raced and she had trouble catching her breath.

“
Can’t.” His eyes held a
devilish gleam as he flashed a dimpled grin. “I’m going
commando.”

With his jeans on, he dove in head
first, then shot up for air with a short yell. “Crazy! The water’s
like ice.”

“
It’s warm to me.” She had
to get this man to her lair or she’d be turned into a water horse
for
sure. “You’ll get use to it. Come on,
follow me.” Ducking underwater, she swam away, hoping he’d chase
her.

Through blue swirls of
water dotted with tiny bubbles, she kept her pace slow so he could
keep up. Forcing herself not to look back and appear over-eager,
she glided on, hoping he still followed. She could be a
proper
lhiannan shee
. She could do it.

She swam back to Andrew. As he tread
water, his head and chest peaked out above the surface of the sea.
His wet flesh looked so slick she had to touch him, had to see if
his skin felt smother than the porpoise she’d recently petted. She
stretched out her hand and tapped the tips of her fingers on his
firm, chiseled chest.

“
What?” He glanced at his
chest.

“
Nothing. A bit of seaweed
clung there,” she lied. “It’s gone now.”

She had to fight a riveting desire to
wrap her arms around him, cling to him like seaweed and press her
breast against his chest. Her nipples tightened at just the thought
of such a sultry embrace.

“
Did you see that
porpoise?” His eyes grew wide and his smile stretched across his
whole face. “I’ve never been that close to one before.”

“
Yes, they swim all around
here. We’re almost at my house.” She took his arm in hers. “Come.”
She dunked underwater with him and swam at his side.

Andrew didn’t know it but Margaid used
her magic to allow him to share her ability to hold her breath much
longer than humanly possible. He would never be able to free dive
this long or this deep on his own.

They passed a large leatherback sea
turtle flapping its rough front and back flippers as its narrow
head bobbed in the water. As they dived deeper, Andrew pointed to
stingrays with hooded eyes that sailed passed, flapping wide, dark
wings as their serpentine tails swayed in a titillating fashion.
The whip like tails all bore long spines at the tip, able to
penetrate deep into soft, sensitive flesh. Margaid pointed to a
conger eel hiding under a nearby rock, sticking out its large,
thick head. Its two black eyes stared at Margaid accusingly, as if
it knew what she was about to do. The big eel’s long spindle shaped
body slithered over the boulders towards the entrance to her
cave.

Andrew drew back, but she
dragged him forward until their feet hit the soft sand at the sea
bed. Who was that eel to judge who she chose to take into her cave?
What could she do, either be a proper
lhiannan shee
or be a water horse. She
had no choice.

Holding Andrew’s hand in hers, Margaid
stood in front of a boulder engraved with ancient Celtic swirls
forming a triskelion, the symbol of Mannan beg mac y Leir. Shoving
the boulder aside, she stepped through the entrance onto the
stairs, which led into the cave. With Andrew inside, she shut the
hatch.

* * * * *

“
Wow, I can breathe in
here. Just like on land.”Andrew followed her down. “Man this is
crazy.” He took the last step off the stairs and pressed his strong
hands on her shoulders. “You really live under the sea. I thought
you were joking.”

His touch felt firm yet gentle, she’d
noticed earlier that his fingers were long and his wrists were
thick, in fact everything about Andrew seemed so manly. She peered
at his wet jeans which clung to his firm ass and his long muscular
legs.