This Is Not That Dawn: Jhootha Sach (40 page)

‘How can you be so insensitive?’ Kanta interrupted her.

‘I knew you’d say that. You can say what you want. I don’t mind giving up my wishes for pitaji’s sake, but what about the promise I gave to Puriji? He must be on tenterhooks. What if he does something desperate? Wouldn’t you do anything for jijaji? Why shouldn’t I?’ Kanak again broke into tears.

Kanak could not face her father after finding out that he knew all her secrets and how her rebellious behaviour had hurt him. She continued to stay at her sister’s house. She did her best to control her feelings, but that was not always possible. Thinking that she might be accused of not being straightforward, she said to Kanta bluntly, ‘I’d like to write him a letter.’

Kanta did not know what to say. How brazen this girl had become! She thought, ‘People used to point their fingers at Nayyar and me, during our courtship, called us shameless, but just look at her!’ ‘Wait till evening. No harm in asking your jijaji too,’ she replied.

Nayyar was told of the problem in the evening. He and Kanak walked around the lawn as they talked, ‘Kanni, I find myself in a strange fix. The problem is that I respect your rights, but pitaji has the right to worry over your best interests and so do we. I don’t want to give up that right. That would amount to dereliction of my duty, and a terrible thing to do. I say this not only as your brother-in-law, but also because I feel affection for you as a sister and a friend. Once you too used to say that it was me whom you trusted most.’ His tone became gentle, intimate, ‘I don’t want us to turn into lifelong enemies by taking opposite sides. And for that I’m ready to let your rights override mine. I want to help you, but I too need your help. Won’t you give us a little right to worry about you?’

‘Why, of course, jijayee. I’m asking you for only one thing,’ Kanak stopped and said to Nayyar tenderly.

‘All right then. Give me your word of honour.’

‘No, jijayee.’ Kanak shook her head, laughing. When she felt affectionate towards Nayyar, she sometimes shortened ‘jijaji’ to ‘jijayee’ or even to ‘jiyaee’. She switched to English, ‘You’re very clever. You can trap me easily in the web of your words. Spell it out for me, first.’

Nayyar did not laugh. ‘Listen,’ he said as he continued to walk, and held her arm to make her walk alongside, ‘When we asked you to come here with us, we promised pitaji that we’d convince you to think of what was good for you. Meaning not to write to Puri or meet him …’

‘That’s no good to me!’ Kanak cut him short. ‘Kill me first, then you won’t have to worry about what’s good for me.’

‘Listen to what I have to say,’ Nayyar went on. ‘I am putting a limit to what I said before, and what I thought was right. We think that you got involved with him just because of your fondness for literature. But you haven’t had enough time to know and understand him, and what troubles us is that you’ve made a decision in an over-emotional state of mind.’

‘I’ve done nothing wrong.’

‘Right or wrong, that’s a matter of opinion. I meant by committing yourself to him.’

‘Jiyaee, a commitment to someone else is also a commitment to oneself,’ Kanak said with a smile.

‘Well, just let me finish. I think that whatever commitment you may have made, you—and we as well—should have more time to get to know
and understand that man. Maybe we are at fault. Let’s also make another attempt to get to know him. Since you want to get married to him, why can’t we begin to appreciate his qualities too? Anything wrong in that?’

‘Because you’re all prejudiced against him,’ Kanak said firmly without flinching. ‘And that’s your own doing. I put my greatest trust in you, and you’re the one behind all this. Everyone in the family had a high opinion of him. When you run him down, the others just go along with you.’

‘What you’re saying is not true,’ Nayyar explained patiently. ‘But even if it were, whatever I did was out of my concern for you, not because of any animosity towards Puri. You trusted me because of my regard for you. I didn’t want our plump pet pigeon to be lured away by a crow…’

‘Oh, do be quiet!’ Unable to hide her glee, Kanak punched his arm and said affectionately, ‘You deserve a good beating.’

‘Well,’ Nayyar kept his serious demeanour, ‘You did accuse me of prejudice. Take it as my attempt to clear myself of blame.’

‘How?’

‘Give us some time. I’ll convince pitaji that he himself should invite Puri back. You’ll be completely free to meet him when and wherever, every day if you wish. But on the condition that you behave properly and no scandal comes out of it. If your decision is the same after a year of all this, there would be no opposition from us. You agree?’

Kanak seemed satisfied, ‘When will you take it up with pitaji?’

‘By persuading pitaji I meant giving him a feeling of confidence and trust about that man. Personally, I’ve never tried to find out anything about him. I’ve read a couple of his short stories and an article or two, after you asked me to, and I liked them very much. I’ve a feeling that anyone who has such a way with words can easily lead an immature girl astray.’

‘See, the same prejudice!’ Kanak again threatened him with her fist.

‘Well,’ Nayyar remained serious as before, ‘I too should know more about him and find an excuse to meet him again. But until then, as a proof of your regard for pitaji and us, you should neither write to him nor make any attempt to see him.’

Kanak said nothing.

‘I think it’ll take about three months,’ Nayyar continued.

Kanak’s eyes widened in amazement, ‘Three months! You don’t realize what a torture that would be for me, and an even bigger one for him. How
would he know about your terms? And who knows, you might just say after three months, “Sorry, pitaji doesn’t agree.”’

‘No, that won’t happen,’ Nayyar assured her. ‘Agree to a three-month interval. We’ll try to find out what we can about the man in that time. And tell you about our findings. If, after that time, we and pitaji still don’t see eye to eye with you, or aren’t able to change your mind about him, I won’t consider it right to object to your meeting him.’

‘Why must I suffer this torment for three months? You can make whatever inquiries you want. Leave us alone to do what we want,’ Kanak said heatedly.

‘That has become necessary because of your behaviour. Before you gave your word to him, you didn’t think it proper to know our opinion, or pitaji’s or the family’s, or ask for our go-ahead. Was that proper? Why did you presume that we’d oppose you? Were you already convinced that we’d not approve of him?’ Nayyar said as if cross-examining her like a witness in court.

‘Absolutely not.’

‘Then you should’ve asked us. Even if we hadn’t agreed with you, at least we couldn’t call your behaviour improper.’

‘Improper in what way?’ Kanak did not say anything more.

Nayyar said forcefully, ‘Now there’s only one way to resolve all this. Give us some time to make up our minds. Get rid of whatever concerns pitaji may have about your good name being dragged in the mud. Let us be sure that you’ll give up anything for the sake of your love. Till now we thought it was merely a girlish crush.’

‘So what if you do think it’s just a crush.’

‘Don’t mind my saying so,’ Nayyar raised his finger to warn her, ‘But didn’t you have a crush on someone before?’

‘Why bring up that incident? I did admit my mistake then. Who doesn’t make mistakes? How about you? Should I jog your memory?’

‘I can make a mistake. So can anyone. So can you.’

‘But I can’t be afraid to make mistakes all my life. If I’m making a mistake again, don’t stop me. Do you want me not to make a decision for fear of making a mistake? If I’m stupid, let me suffer the consequences.’ There was anger in Kanak’s tone.

Nayyar kept his voice normal, ‘That means that even if you can have our help and support, you don’t want it or care for it. You think it better to be disowned by your family. Does he think the same?’

‘He doesn’t care about all these old-fashioned ideas and …’

‘He doesn’t care because he can’t do anything about it. Isn’t that the same thing as just not caring about it? Because, if he really doesn’t care, it means that either he’s not all there, or is mentally deficient. Did you ever ask him about it?’

‘No, there was no occasion to.’

‘I get it. My guess is that he thinks that your family would come around in the end. Or maybe he’ll change his mind once he finds out that your family will disown you. Could it be that he wants your family as well as you?’

‘You and your family considerations! I know that he’ll give up everything for my sake.’

‘If that’s so, what’s the harm in accepting my suggestion, and in having your family’s support behind you? Two or three months are not that long a time to wait, as a prelude to such an important event in your life.’

‘Sure, it is. Let me see him once at least so that I can explain all this to him.’

‘I can’t help you in that. I’ve given pitaji my word that we won’t let you.’

‘You can’t even imagine how unfair it’d be to him,’ Kanak said feebly. ‘…What will he think … what’s happened to me? … Have I died or had a change of heart? He won’t have any clue.’

‘He should work it out if he has any sense. Pitaji probably gave him some translation work to do. When he brought it back after doing it, pitaji told him tactfully that he didn’t want you two to have any relations other than those of brother and sister.’

‘But I’ve pledged myself to him in another way.’

Nayyar said, ‘Doesn’t he know about that pledge? Then what does he know about you? That’s what we want to see, whether he behaves like a gentleman in view of your having pledged yourself to him.’

‘What’ll I do if he gets depressed and loses heart?’ Kanak began to cry.

‘That means that you two really don’t trust each other.’ Nayyar asked, ‘Do you know him so little after having spent so much time with him? Let’s also see how much trust he has in you, and how strong is his commitment to you.’

‘That’s all right if he knew what was going on. That’s why I want to explain all this to him.’

‘What do you mean if he knew? We know how pitaji feels, how you feel. Let’s find out how patient and trusting he is.’

‘But what do we need this test for?’

‘It’s not a test for test’s sake. It’s to give us time to size him up, a way to judge his temperament and personality. Don’t you see I’m sticking my neck out for you? Listen, I don’t know how much you value him, but if you become a pariah and make him one too, that’ll be creating a roadblock for your future, not making it very attractive.’

Two days later, just before Nayyar left for his office in the city, Kanak said to him, ‘Jijaji, I’m ready to accept your conditions. If you don’t want me to see him, let me write and explain everything to him. Then I’ll do as you say.’

Nayyar refused to budge, ‘I’ll be risking the anger of the family if I agree to do that. I myself want to be sure that that man may not have the right personality or appearance, or even the money or social position, but at least he has some strength of character and commitment towards you.’

‘Jijaji, don’t make it three months.’ Tears rolled down Kanak’s cheeks.

‘All right, two months. Two months are not enough, but we’ll see. Sixty days from today. Give me your word that whether you’re here or at Gwal Mandi, you’ll make no effort to meet Puri or to write to him. Whatever I find out about him, I’ll let you know. If something isn’t clear, we’ll both try to get at the truth.’

The Muslim League, in the first week of June, accepted the proposal to partition Punjab and Bengal into Hindu-majority and Muslim-majority areas. This demarcation of the areas of partition generated even more frenzied rioting and confrontations. Western Punjab had a Muslim majority, and more Hindus lived in the east, but many canal-irrigated regions of western Punjab had a predominance of Sikh farmers. In the eastern area, most workers and craftsmen in the industrial cities of Amritsar, Jalandhar and Ludhiana were Muslim. The League wanted large tracts of land to the east of Lahore to be included in Pakistan, and Congress and the Hindus wanted the boundary of Hindustan to run a long way to the west of Lahore. Lahore, almost in the centre of Punjab, was claimed by both sides.

The League and Congress accepted the British government’s proposal that Hindu, Sikh and Muslim members of the Punjab Legislative Assembly could decide individually whether the people of their constituencies would
choose Pakistan or Hindustan to reside in. The government also fixed a date, 20 June, for making these decisions public.

Barrister Jamal Mirza, a neighbour of Mahendra Nayyar and his family, was among the few Muslims who lived in Model Town. There was daily interaction between these neighbours, and neither had allowed the prevailing behaviour of Muslims and Hindus to dictate the character of their relationship. They also did not approve of the limitations of traditional restrictions on food or dress, and did not observe purdah. Their conversations were usually in English. They visited one another’s houses and ate with each other without reservations or restrictions. The two men even went to the high court together, Mirza sometimes taking a ride with Nayyar, or Nayyar going in Mirza’s car, particularly on days of rioting for the interests of safety. Mirza’s younger sister was quite friendly with Kanak, whom she knew as a student at the Christian College. Both Nayyar and Mirza often had heated discussion as to where the line dividing the Punjab should run. Mirza was in favour of including even the most easterly districts of Ambala and Ferozepur in Pakistan. Punjab was one, he would argue, it should not be broken into pieces.

Nayyar would object, ‘But in western Punjab, in the canal-irrigated areas of Montgomery, Lyalpur, Sargodha and Shaikhupura, Hindus and Sikhs make up 70 to 80 per cent of the population, and own most of the land in the bargain. Why should they stay in Pakistan? Should they cart off their land to Hindustan with them? Why can’t Hindustan’s border be placed there?’

‘Who’s to stop them from living in Pakistan?’

‘Then what’s the problem, if the Muslim-majority areas of Punjab remain in Hindustan?’ There was a gradual, but marked falling-off in their daily conversations.