Thirteen Senses (48 page)

“I guess so. My mother had nineteen.”

“Nineteen!” said the doctor.

“Well, yes, sure, but her sister who married my father's brother had twenty-two, and all twenty-two lived. You see, only fourteen of my mother's nineteen lived, so we were a small family.”

“A small family at fourteen!” said the doctor. And he was the one who now seemed upset. He finished off his schnapps and served himself another drink. He didn't offer Salvador any this time, and he put the bottle away. “Look,” he said, “strange as this might sound, Salvador, children just don't come from God. A couple, also, has the ability of choosing how large or small a family they want.”

“They do?!?” said Salvador. He was flabbergasted!

“Well, yes, of course. Tell me, do you have any idea how much strain each pregnancy puts on the female body? Does your mother have any teeth left?”

“Teeth?” said Salvador, taken aback. “Well, no, she doesn't have many, but she still walks to church every day and is in good health.”

“Well, I'm glad that she's in good health and walks to church every day,” said the doctor. “You're a very lucky man. But, you see, Salvador, with each pregnancy, a mother gives nutrients to the child from her body—calcium from her teeth and bones. A woman needs years to replenish her body after each pregnancy. Did you notice my wife—the nurse who brought you into my office? How old do you suppose she is, Salvador?”

Salvador shrugged. “Maybe oh, thirty-five.”

“Patricia will be fifty next month. You see, I love my wife very much, Salvador, and I want her to live a long, healthy life, and so that's why we decided long ago to have only three children. And we would've had only two, if we'd had a boy and girl to start.”

Salvador didn't know what to say. My God, he'd never heard such wild talk in all of his life! Who did this doctor think he was, anyway? Children were a gift straight from God, everyone knew that! Why, if his mother had stopped having kids at two or three, he, himself, Salvador, would never have even been born! This was terrible! How could this doctor be saying these terrible things? Everyone knew that to be a real
hombre,
you had to have as many children as you possibly could. Twelve at least!

Then the truth of the matter hit Salvador. This doctor was just jealous that he and his skinny, bony wife had only been able to have three kids. What kind of family was that, anyway? Three kids was nothing! Absolutely
nada, nada!
Salvador almost laughed. No wonder his skinny wife had been so arrogant with him, she was all dried up and jealous that she couldn't have more kids. This was what was really going on here. Jealousy!

“Here,” said the doctor, “I'll serve you a little bit more. I imagine that a lot of what I've said to you might, well, sound a little strange.”

“Yes,” said Salvador, “very strange.”

“But if you'll listen to me, Salvador, I assure you, that not only is it possible to plan how many children you'll have, but it will also be very worthwhile. Don't you have some brothers and sisters who have done better than others?”

“Well, yes, of course,” said Salvador.

“Well, by limiting the number of children that you and Lupe have, you'll be able to spend more time with each of them and educate them in a way that just isn't possible with a larger family. Education, this is the key for success in this country.”

And here the doctor stopped and looked at Salvador. “And, please,” the doctor now added, “don't be too quick to reject all that I've said to you, Salvador. For I know that you love Lupe very much. She's a beautiful young woman, and I saw how concerned you became for her when I made the mistake of mentioning the hospital earlier.

“But, I am saying that if you and Lupe just keep having children year after year, not only will she lose her teeth, but she won't have a very long life. On the other hand, if you and Lupe plan the number of children that you and she have, you can keep her beautiful and young with all of her teeth for many fine, wonderful years.”

Salvador was speechless. He didn't know what to say or even think. Why, this whole conversation was an outrage!

“When I first arrived here in California,” continued the doctor, “I used to have all these beautiful young Mexican couples come in to see me and have six or eight children before I dared to even speak to them. But now I've found that when I speak to couples right away, with their first child, it works out best. Please, Salvador, I'd like for you to talk this over with your wife and, if you're interested, my wife and I will be happy to discuss matters with each of you so that you two can continue enjoying yourselves as a man and a woman and still have a long, happy marriage, and an affordable number of children.”

Salvador's whole face turned red. Why, this doctor was now talking about sex. And no one discussed sex openly like this outside of their immediate family.

Seeing Salvador's reaction, the doctor added, “I hope you listened, Salvador, and that you will think about all this. And if not, that's all right, too. I will not be bringing up this subject again. This is your decision. Thank you for listening.”

“Well,” said Salvador, scratching his head, “I'd thought that you'd brought me in here to talk about Lupe, and if she's all right or not. I never expected all of this,” he added.

“Lupe is fine at this point,” said the doctor. “She's young, and she might have a little difficulty in the mornings during this first pregnancy, but Mexicans are a very strong people, and every day I see them go through difficulties that would put most other people in the hospital. Yes, Salvador, Lupe is fine right now.”

“Good,” said Salvador. “Because you were scaring me with all your talk of planning babies.”

“Well, I didn't mean to frighten you, Salvador. But Lupe also isn't one of these powerful women who can just keep having children year after year. You think about everything that I've said, Salvador, and as I said, you and Lupe can still enjoy yourselves as a man and woman all you want, but what I'm saying is that each time you do this, you don't have to end up with a child.”

Hearing this, Salvador had to take a big breath. His whole head was spinning. “But the priests,” said Salvador, “they're always telling us that to enjoy ourselves—you know, as a man and a woman, without making children is a great—how do you say it,
un pecado!”

“A sin?” asked the doctor.

“Yes, that's it,” said Salvador. “A sin! A very bad sin!”

“Look,” said the doctor, seeing how upset Salvador had become, “I was raised Catholic, too, back in Germany. But long ago, quite frankly, I stopped paying attention to men who have no children or a wife when it comes to matters of love and family.”

Salvador was shocked. He began to sweat. This was an outrage! Even when he'd been at his angriest with God, Salvador would never have said that he wouldn't listen to what a priest had to say.

“Tell me,” continued the doctor, “would you take your car to get fixed by a man who's never driven or owned an automobile?”

“Well, no, of course not,” said Salvador, pulling at his collar and wiping the sweat from his forehead.

“Then I suggest that you listen to the priests about those matters that have to do with God, but not about women and children. What can any priest possibly know? The poor men live a very limited life, at best, Salvador.”

Salvador was speechless. Instinctively, Salvador now felt like making the sign of the cross over himself to protect himself from this man. He wondered what his mother would say about this doctor's ideas. He wondered what Lupe would say when he told her. My God, he needed a real drink of his own whiskey, and right now!

The drums were beating.

The Drums were beat, Beat, BEATING!

And he, Salvador, now wanted to ask this man if he was still a Catholic, and if he still believed in God, but he was afraid to ask.

DOÑA MARGARITA WAS INSIDE
of the little stone church on the left-hand side, two pews back from the front, and she was on her feet, shouting at the statue of the Virgin Mary. “Give it to us,
Maria).
Give it to
us, Maria de Guadalupe!
Don't be afraid!
Los chingasos de la Vida
are not new to us,
los Mejicanos!
We will not fail You! We are STRONG with FAITH!”

In her mind's eye, Salvador's mother could still see the cannons of the Revolution flashing in the darkening day as the tens of thousands of unarmed people—mostly women and children—made their way along the railroad tracks with their newborns in their arms and their little ones at their sides as the soldiers loaded their horses into the boxcars!

Homeless people!

Starving people!

Frightened people!

And all around them machine guns sang! Cannons blasted!

Both Americans and Germans trying out their newest wares of war in Mexico in the first glimpses of the First World War.

“Santa Maria, Madre de Dios! Santa Maria, Madre de Dios! Santa Maria, aaaaaaa-yuuuuuudaaa-NOS! Santa Maria, Madre de Dios!”

Doña Margarita continued singing, praying these sacred words in church, and in her Heart-Eye she saw herself and all these mothers continuing here alongside the railroad tracks going north, hoping to get to the border of the United States; that land, that country, that promiseland where dreams came true!

Carranzas's troops were on one side with their German-made machine guns singing! And their German-made cannons blasting open the whole sky!

Villa's troops were on the other side with their heavy, American-made cannons and machine guns spitting flashes of fire, too!

The Father Sun was just going down and the day was beginning to cool. A group of fine carriages came up on the north banks of the Rio Grande, and well-dressed people got down from their carriages and their Black servants ... set out chairs and tables for a grand picnic—future American Generals of World Wars I and II learning their trade of death and destruction here in Mexico as young lieutenants.

The western sky streaked in colors of red and orange, pink and lavender, and the fine, well-educated people laughed and sipped champagne as they looked across the river, watching the masses of escaping
gente!

Brown people. Not their people. “Expendable” was their new key word because they had the whole world in their hands! And what the hell, war was natural.

Doña Margarita kept praying inside of the little stone church, and in her Heart-Eye she could still see herself and all these mothers as they now came pouring up over a group of little white sand hills, crying with
gusto
when they at last saw the Rio Grande right down below them!

Drinking from long-stem glasses, the people across the river watched as the mass of brown-skin people left the tracks and came rushing across the sand hills toward the river like people to the promiseland.

The fine, well-dressed people continued drinking champagne, eating finger-foods as they heard the children screech with delight, and start splashing about in the shallow brown waters!

On the north side of the river, just below the people in carriages, stood the United States Army. Young soldiers watching the masses of people pouring up over the white sand hills, crying with
gusto
as they came rushing down toward the cool, wet river waters.

Officers barked orders to hold the line!

Sergeants shouted to keep steady!

But the brown skins kept coming and coming by the thousands!

Finally a couple of confused, frightened, young soldiers opened fire on the unarmed women and children!

The Rio Grande ran red with blood.

And inside of the stone church, Doña Margarita continued praying, remembering how she'd been crying in agony, reaching for this little child's body, only to come up with the child's intestines in her hands, and she'd SCREAMED up to the HEAVENS, and this was when she'd seen those people with their fine carriages across the river up on the embankment, laughing and eating and drinking in the cool shade of their umbrellas, while the
gente
were cut down all about her and she held this lifeless child in her arms!

“SANTA MARIA, MADRE DE DIOS!”
Doña Margarita now continued praying, chanting with tears streaming down her face as she stood here inside of the little stone church, arms out, palms up, Singing, Chanting, Praying! “Give it to us, my Lady! Give it to us! For we are strong with faith! We will not fail You! WE WILL NOT FAIL YOU! For
los chingasos
of Life are no more new to us,
los Mejicanos,
than the Jews of old! GIVE IT TO US! For the sins of the world must be made pure once and for all! Prison or marriage, I don't care! My children will grow! For
mata-los-demonios
is why we are all here on this
Tierra Firme!
And we are a strong
gente con mucha fe! Y MUY CHINGONES!”

And saying this, Doña Margarita finally sat back down. She was spent. She was done. But, still, she could hear the cannons and the machine guns and the people screaming in terror and she could still feel that child's warm, slippery, bloody intestines as she wrung her hands, trying to cleanse them.

And this killing of women and children wasn't new. In their voyage northward, when the soldiers of Carranza and Villa couldn't kill each other, they'd both turn their fine weaponry at the unarmed mass of people, firing on them.

Doña Margarita now continued mumbling,
“Santa Maria, Madre de Dios! Santa Maria, Madre de Dios! Santa Maria, Madre de Dios!”
over and over again, as the tears streamed down her face.

So many people she'd seen shot all around her.

She must've fallen asleep, for the next thing she knew, she awoke with a start. “Oh, I'm sorry, my Lady,” she said. The Sacred Virgin, Mother of God, had come out of her statue and was now here, standing before her. “I must've gone to sleep.”