Thirteen Senses (69 page)

“So, then, who stoned you,
señora,
these other women?”

“No, it was my old friend Dolores who felt left out when she wasn't able to make the Voyage with the rest of us, God Bless her troubled Soul.”

The old woman stopped her words and made the sign of the cross over herself. Lupe sat still. A breeze picked up, sweeping across the yard with a beautiful little swirl of leaves.

“Señora,”
said Lupe, “I can understand some of what you've just said, because back home in Mexico my own mother also told us about Creation while we were growing up. But still, a very large part of me can understand your friend Dolores' fear because at first, when you mentioned what you did with Moses, my whole stomach felt like it had been—”

Lupe stopped her words. She just didn't know how to say what she wanted to say without sounding awful.

“You felt like a sharp knife had been stuck into your stomach, and a part of you then also felt like doing me harm.”

Lupe turned red with embarrassment.

“It's okay,
mi hijita,”
said Doña Margarita. “Why do you think Our Lord God Jesus was crucified? People attack that which they don't understand.”

“It hurt so much here inside of me when you said that Moses and you re-did the Ten Commandments, that I didn't know what to think or do. All my life we were taught that these laws came straight from God and that they are the whole basis of civilization and beyond reproach!”

“Then comes along this old, toothless, crazy woman undoing everything!” said Doña Margarita, laughing.

Lupe nodded.

“Well,
mi hijita,”
added the old woman, “I can fully understand your feelings. Emotion is what this
planeta
is all about. This is why we have so many wars. And what does the word 'emotion' mean, simply ‘feelings-in-motion, feelings-in-change.' And men fear to change their feelings even more than women. This is why even Moses himself, the Great Man, had difficulty with me at first, too.” She closed her eyes in concentration. “Truly, all people Fear the Pains of Change, and Change is nothing but the Birthing of New Life. And Life is Birthing. And All this Birthing is what we call Creation, and Creation is ... the Almighty. Remember,
mi hijita, la extremidad del humano es la oportunidad de Dios.
”

The old woman opened her eyes. “Poor Dolores couldn't have behaved any differently with her name being Dolores, meaning ‘Pain.' She had to fulfill that which she was named.

“Do you see what I am saying,
mi hijita,
Words are Holy. They make us Who We Are. Give us ten commandments full of ‘don't' do this and ‘don't' do that, then these ‘don'ts' are exactly what we become. Give us a god full of wrath and vengeance and this is how we are destined to treat each other no matter how much we are preached at to not do that. Does this make sense,
mi hijita?”

Lupe took in a big breath, then she shrugged. “Yes, I guess it does, but I don't know,
señora.”

“Perfect. Because when the day comes that you do know all this, to the depths of your Soul, you,
mi mujer,
will never be intimidated by men and all their doings again,” said Doña Margarita. Then she once more closed her eyes in concentration. “Feeling left out is why men created the story that god is only a male. Feeling left out is why men had to invent that women came from adam's rib, instead of directly from god. Feeling left out is the very reason why wars and empires and power are the most loved children of every male. And I'm sorry to say, this also includes my own son Salvador,” said the grand old woman, opening her eyes, “whom I Love with all my Heart!”

Smiling, she reached out and took Lupe's hand. “To you,
mi hijita,
I now entrust Our Future.” She Breathed in of God. “And not because I don't love and respect my fine son, but, simply, because—just see how your daughter looks at you, Lupe. Already she knows your smell, your voice, above all others. You are her Everything! And no man can ever experience this miracle, Lupe.

“This is why, Lupe, in the end, it was finally Jesus Christ, Himself, Who came forward and told Moses, in terms that he could understand, that the time has come for us to move the Commandments out of stone and into Flesh and Blood,” said the old woman. “This is what the Crucifixion was all about, God sending His Only Begotten Son down here to us to put the Flesh and Blood of Forgiveness, Compassion, and Understanding on the Commandments.

“This is what each generation needs to do with their Own Flesh and Blood in order for us to continue adding to Our Understanding of the Almighty,” she added, pointing into the air with her index finger with each word she spoke. “Moses, the poor man, really could do
nada, nada,
nothing but agree with us. He really had no idea that Creation is ongoing. He was truly trapped—no matter how much God spoke to him—in the flat and narrow world of the Egyptians' way of thinking. It was absolutely beyond his comprehension that one day soon the Holy Creator would need to send His Own Flesh and Blood to Save the World of Humankind from yet another kind of slavery. Understand, Creation continues even as we speak and we, humans, aren't the end of Creation. Hell, the Ants know more than us.”

“Señora,”
said Lupe, “how come you know so much?”

“Oh, no,
mi hijita,”
said the little old lady, laughing, “long ago I gave up knowing and simply gave my Life over to Spirit.”

Saying this, she kissed the Crucifix of her rosary, then touched the Holy Cross to her daughter-in-love's forehead, Blessing her. A pool of Golden Light came all around the Three Generations of women. “Isn't this right,
mi hijita,”
she turned and said to Hortensia, “you Know what your
mamagrande
is talking about, eh? We know
nada, nada,
nothing, except that which comes to us Here, within ourselves, directly from God!”

She kissed the Crucifix again, touching Hortensia lightly on the chest this time, then mumbled a little Prayer. The child kicked her feet and waved her little arms. She'd understood perfectly.

Lupe took in a deep Breath. “So, then, tell me,
señora,
what are these new—” She stopped. She still couldn't quite bring herself to say the word. “—that you and your friends came up with,” she added.

“You mean the Commandments?” said Doña Margarita.

“Yes,” said Lupe, still feeling a little nervous.

“Mi hijita,”
said the old woman, “we didn't come up with any—what you'd call—new commandments. That would have been no improvement. To command, rule, or control these are
hombre-
ideas, created out of fear. You tell me, what did we come up with, Lupe?”

“I don't know,
señora,”
said Lupe, surprised that her mother-in-love would even ask her.

“Oh, yes, you do,” said the old woman, closing her eyes as she continued speaking with a cadence of calm, deliberate concentration. “You are married, you have given Birth, so now all you have to do is . . . Breathe in of God, and All the Knowledge of the Ages will come Birthing into you!”

Saying this, Doña Margarita herself Breathed in deeply of
Papito,
too. “Now, tell me,
querida,
what did we come up with? Go on, speak. You Know.”

Tears came to Lupe's eyes. “You came up with Love,
señora,
that we must Love each other with all of our Hearts and Souls as One
Familia
! That no one is better than anyone else! That we are all the children of God. And God Loves Us All Equally—no matter what!” she added, almost yelling.

“Perfect,” said Doña Margarita, making the sign of the cross over her daughter-in-love. “This is, in fact, the First Understanding that we also came up with to Moses. Now go on, what was our Second Understanding?”

Lupe shook her head. “No more, please,
señora.”

“Come on,
mi hijita,
they all come out so easy once we get past our personal fear of this
Tierra Firme.”

Lupe still didn't want to go on.

“Come on,
mi hijita,”
she said, smiling, “dig into yourself. You know. You Know! Every woman does, particularly once she marries, and Births.”

Lupe just shook her head. “You ask too much of me,
señora.
I have no idea. There are so many
problemas
in the world of hunger and war and hate, so where do I begin?”

“Okay, and while you're at it, then add in prejudice and racism—like my poor husband had for
nuestra familia.
And greed and abuse of women, and the rape of the Mother Earth, and of course, the worship of power and money above all else. Where did all this great big mess come from? Many of us like to think that it started when the Europeans came to our shores.

“But no,
mi hijita,”
she said, laughing, “we had many of these
problemas
already here. Lots of our people were already going in the direction of conquering, enslaving, and wanting to build empires, and why ... because, simply—come on, say it, they'd lost their Trust in God.

“Close your eyes,
mi hijita,”
Doña Margarita added. “It's no accident that Our Lord Jesus, Himself, chose to go blind for thirteen years so He could open His Heart Eye to See Here in this
Tierra Firme.
The two eyes of our head are so dominant that they become our distraction. Now. Breathe in of
Papito Dios.
Go on Breathe, Breathe, and close your eyes, and open wide with Vision from Here, within your Heart.”

Lupe did as she was told. She closed her eyes and Breathed in of the Almighty, and suddenly, in a flash, she was BURSTING!
“Señora,
all those
problemas
simply began when people stopped Breathing in of God with every Holy Breath they took!”

The old woman smiled.

“I see it so clearly now that I have my eyes closed,” continued Lupe. “Then losing God, man became frightened, then to hide this fear he began thinking that he was better than the rest of Creation. Why, he actually began to think that he alone was made in god's image.”

“You got it. Go on,
mi hijita!”

“That was our Fall from Grace,
señora,
and after that man—in his false arrogance—began to think he was better than . . . than his own sister, too.”

“Exactly! This is where separation began! Greed isn't part of human nature. Fear of heights and death isn't part of human nature, either. All this came after Separation. Before Separation all of Creation was Together, part of God, and hence able to communicate with one another. The Trees, the Rocks, the Birds, the Animals, the Sea Creatures and the Humans All had a Common Languaging. All was in Balance, in Harmony, in Peace within the Sacred Circle of Our Holy Thirteen Senses. Here, at this place—now known as the Garden—there were no mysteries. All was understandable. To rule, to control, to command weren't concepts even comprehended. So then what happened,
mi hijita,
go on, tell me, you Know Everything!”

“Well, after the Separation,” said Lupe, closing her eyes once again, “I see, well, a darkness.” She began to tremble. “A huge, awful Black Darkness,” she added, “here deep inside each of us—I can feel it inside of me so clearly―oh, my God, the DEVIL! He's SMILING!” she said, gasping!

“Yes,” said Doña Margarita. “Go on. The Devil came to Be. You got it. Beautiful!”

“Oh,
señora,”
said Lupe, opening up her eyes. “I saw it all so clearly, but then I lost it.” She was crying. The sight of the Devil's smile had truly frightened her.

“No, you didn't lose it,
mi hijita,”
said the old woman, closing her own eyes. “We never lose anything. It's just that we sometimes reach places inside of us, where we don't want to see . . . what it is that we saw and this place—since our Separation—we call evil.

“And Lupe, believe me, I'm not blaming you or criticizing you. We all do this. I've done it. Your mother has done it. It's all just part of gaining confidence, then passing on through that needle's eye of Darkness. Now just relax and Breathe in of
Papito, mi hijita,”
said the old woman, “and you'll be able to go on and see again. Lucifer, remember,” she added, “was also originally just another part of God, and so we had no fear of him, either. In fact, Lucifer, the Light, awaits to show you safe passage through this Darkness back to the Almighty.”

“No,” said Lupe, shaking her head. “This is too confusing for me! Lucifer is bad! Why would he take me to God? I don't want to do this anymore,
señora.”

“All right,” said Doña Margarita, “I can understand, fear is frightening. But—and this is the biggest ‘but' of your whole life,
mi hijita
—deal with this Fear you will. And if not now, here with guidance, then later. For this is where God,” she said, closing her eyes in concentration once again, “came asking Adam about the forbidden fruit and Adam couldn't handle it, so he blamed
Eva,
his Love. Why? Because Lupe, he, too, had come eye to eye with this Smile of the Devil and it terrified him.

“He didn't realize that it's from Here,
mi hijita,
from the Fear of this Smile inside of our own Darkness, that comes all of our Powers. I lost sixteen children, Lupe,” she added with tears bursting from her eyes. “How do you think I was able to not go crazy? Because I faced that Smile eye to eye Here in the Darkness of my own Heart with the Complete Trust that the Soul is Eternal and God is Good. That's when I was able to understand that each of my children had done their Sacred Work no matter how short was their stay Here on this
Tierra Madre.
The Devil could not trick me. I had indestructible Faith in the Eternal Goodness of the Universe, understanding that Darkness is just that part of Heaven that hasn't been Illuminated yet.”