Thirteen Senses (38 page)

“How is that?”

“Well, I'm still lying to Lupe about what it is that I do for a living.”

“I see,” said the old woman, getting under the covers to get warm. “And this worries you, eh?”

“Well, yes, of course,
mama?

“Why,” she said chuckling, “aren't you man enough to be a good liar?”

“Well, yes, I guess so, but
mama,
I don't want to just keep lying to Lupe forever.”

“Why not?”

“Well, because—oh,
mama,
we're married now and I'd like to be truthful. Besides, sooner or later she's bound to find out the truth.”

The old woman burst out laughing. “Isn't this the truth! Lying doesn't really bother most people, it's the fear of being found out that really troubles most souls!”

He turned all red. “
Mama
,” he said, “but must you always be so blunt?”

“And why not,” she said. “I don't fear life or death, God or Devil, and I'm too old to start pretending now! Hell, at this age even my own
pedo-
farts sometimes slip out without me being conscious of them. So no, I will not worry about what comes out of my mouth!

“So you've been lying to Lupe, eh, lying about everything you do, and now it's not your conscience, but your fear of being exposed that is putting all these well-placed lies—that you built your marriage on—in jeopardy? Oh, I tell you, I feel sorry for the poor Devil with so many people starting to out-devil the Devil!”

“But what in God's name are you saying,
mama,
it was you who suggested for me to lie to Lupe about my liquor making in the first place!”

“And did I put a gun to your head, eh, forcing you to follow my suggestion? Oh, no, you did as I suggested because it fit into your way of thinking. Don't try out-deviling me with the Devil, for I know
el Diablo's
evil ways as well as I know the ways of God!

“But I do have compassion for you,
mi hijito,”
she added, “just as I am now beginning to feel compassion for the Devil, too.”

“Compassion for the Devil,
mama,
even after all the killing and evil that was done to
our familia?”

“Mi hijito,”
said the old woman, “you should have been with me at this poor, rich man's home.”

“What house?”

“Where I took the wallet full of money to a grand looking house just south of Santa Ana with a long lane of eucalyptus trees.”

“That's the Irvine place,” said Salvador.

“Errr-eevin who?” said Doña Margarita. “I don't know. I never asked the old man his name, but he was all poisoned inside.”

“Deserves him damn right!” snapped Salvador, leaping to his feet. “He poisoned the crops of Whitehead, a fine man who's worked for him for years!”

“Mi hijito,”
said the older woman, making the sign of the cross over herself, “I've told you a thousand times that it is not for us to judge or to blame. Each person is his own world, and each world must find their own light, like any other Star in the Heavens.”

“But Whitehead tried to shoot himself with a gun because of what Irvine did to him,
mama!”

“And this Errr-eevin tried to kill himself with poison,” she said. “Be compassionate,
mi hijito,
these poor lost
gringos
are a very self-hating people. I tell you, this Errr-eevin smelled worse than a week-old, dead skunk when I arrived. But then I massaged his feet and bathed him in herbs, giving him a little pleasure, and the old goat got all excited on me!”

“Excited on you,
mama?'

Doña Margarita laughed
con carcajadas
! “Are you saying this,
mi hijito,
because you are morally outraged for me, or do you say this because you find it impossible for a man to get aroused for me?”

Salvador didn't know what to say.

Doña Margarita continued laughing. “Oh, what little you have seen. You still see me with eyes of child. Your old
mama
is a very sexy old woman! Why, today alone, Father Ryan himself was hugging and kissing me all he could until I had to stop him!”

“Mama!”
said Salvador.

“Oh, stop it, and grow up! How do you think I got your father to marry me? How do you think I was able to wrestle him away from all the other girls of my village who were all crazy
-locas
about this tall, handsome, redheaded stranger! Why, I moved my eyes like this, walked with perfect posture, so that my cute little behind would then sway back and forth with such—”

“Mama,
please!” yelled Salvador.

“—advertising that here moved the hottest little
nalgas de salsa
in the world!” She laughed. “Your father's tongue was hanging out three feet by the time we got married, and did we get to work making love! Oh, it was beautiful for the first fifteen years of our marriage, two, three, four, five, six times a day! But then, came that bad, awful winter and all the highlands turned white with snow and wolves came down in packs—you know the rest of the story well. He lost faith in God and life, and then even in
nuestro . . . amor.
”

She wiped the tears from her eyes. “I loved your father so much. So very much,” she said. “But don't worry, this old Eeeervin and I did nothing yet. I just showed him a little love and understanding and the old fool's tool got aroused. Why, it even surprised him,” she said, laughing. “I don't think he'd experienced a good big, hard one in years,” she added. “These
gringos
, they seem to know so much about money and power, but then they are so lost when it comes to finding peace here in the heart.” She breathed. “I could see it in his eyes; why, he'd done something that even the Devil, himself, hadn't thought of doing.”

She made the sign of the cross over herself. “Forgive Eeeervin, dear Father, for he doesn't know what he does. And forgive the Devil, too, he's feeling lonely and wants to return Home to You,
Papito.”

“Mama,
you are really confusing me!” shouted Salvador. “You mean that the Devil now wants to return to Heaven and be with God?”

“And why not? Don't we all, including this old Eeeervin?”

“Well, yes, I guess so,
mama
,” said Salvador.

“Mi hijito,
now that you and Lupe are about to have a baby, you must understand that you can no longer live separated from God. You must give your lives over completely to the Holy Spirit of Creation or you will always be suffering Here, in your Hearts and Souls.”

“And how do we do this,
mama?
”

“You do it with every Holy Breath you and Lupe now breathe in and you breathe out,” she said, making the sign of the cross over herself and kissing her fingertips. “God is the Light, you are the Message. God is the Sea, you are the Wave. God is the Thought, you are the Doing. God is the very Atmosphere you breathe in and out.”

Salvador said
nada
,
nada
, nothing. He just sat looking at his mother.

“And don't worry,
mi hijito
,” added the old woman, “you don't need to understand what I've just said. You are right on schedule, especially with you not wanting to lie to Lupe anymore. Because, listen closely, lies and love don't make good companions for very long. By the way, I told this old Eeee-rrrvin that I'd be sending you over with a few goats.”

“Goats?” said Salvador.

“Yes, milk goats,
mi hijito.
And you can get these milk goats from the Morenos over in Moreno Valley, but now no more of this, I need to get some sleep. Oh, I tell you, doing God's Work can get very tiring, especially when He sits up Here in Heaven on—”

“—on His lazy Ass?”

In a flash, the old woman was out of bed and in her son's face. “You will never speak of
Papito Dios
like that again!” she said angrily. “I, who have been in His service for seventy-six years now, having completed thousands of Miracles, only said this about
Nuestro Señor
in jest 'cause We're old
Amigos
, He and I! But you, who still has so much to learn, will speak of Our Heavenly Father only in deepest respect, or I swear, your children will pay for your actions for thirteen generations!

“Do you understand me, the Forces of Creation are to be respected and honored, and this includes the Devil, too, who of his own freewill volunteered to come into this
Tierra Firme
to give us choice between Light and Darkness!”

“Okay,
mama,
okay, I didn't mean to—”

Just then, the front door burst open and the smell of fresh flowers filled the room. Going to the door, Salvador found a bunch of freshly cut red roses tied with a red bow, but glancing about, he saw no one. He picked up the flowers and brought them inside.

“I found these roses,
mama,”
said Salvador, coming back to her. “But no one was there.”

“Just put them in some water,” said Doña Margarita, getting back in bed under the covers and pulling them up over herself. “I'll see you in the morning. Good night,
mi hijito.
”

“But who would bring you roses,
mama,
this late at night?”

“An old admirer,” said the old woman. “Don't worry about it. We'll talk
mañana.
Besides, I'm too old to get pregnant,” she added, with a little, happy giggle.

Salvador did as he was told. And the roses were, indeed, the most beautiful he'd ever seen, and so aromatic!

DOWN THE CANYON
from Corona some twenty miles away at Lake Elsinore, Epitacio, Luisa's husband, who took care of Salvador's distillery for him, awoke with a start. He'd heard something right outside the window. And it was probably just a cat once again, but oh, all these months of working the distillery had finally gotten to his nerves.

He was sweating.

Rubbing his hand across his forehead, Epitacio felt the sweat pouring down his face.

The fire of the stove, on which they did the distilling process, gave an eerie glow to the room where Epitacio slept on a mattress on the floor, watching the stove day and night.

He got up to go to the bathroom. That's when he saw all these huge eyes staring at him!

He screamed, and he continued screaming! Ever since Domingo had gotten arrested up in Watts and he'd been sent to the penitentiary, Epitacio kept having this recurring dream of the sheriff's department suddenly rushing in with axes in hand and breaking everything . . . huge uniformed giants with yellow eyes, looking more like a pack of wolves than humans, ripping him to pieces with their teeth!

Epitacio ran out of the house still screaming, leaving the front door wide open!
Coyotes
howled in the distance. Epitacio kept running. Overhead, the Father Sky was full of stars. It was a glorious, wondrous night!

“
CAN
'
T YOU SLEEP
,
mi hijito,
” said Doña Margarita, waking up and seeing her son Salvador sipping a cup of coffee there alongside the little wood-burning stove.

“No, I can't,” said Salvador, shaking his head. He looked very pensive.

“You love her very much, eh?”

“Yes,” he said, nodding. “Very much. And I've been thinking about what you said.”

“About what?”

“Well, about your new compassion for the Devil. My God,
mama,
we starved coming north through the Revolution. I saw my brothers and sisters—” Tears came to his eyes. “How can you find compassion for all evil that we've been through,
mama
?”

The old woman breathed deeply. “Listen closely,
mi hijito
, if we don't find compassion and love with the twists and turns of life, then we only end up poisoning ourselves with hate and bitterness. What did our Lord Savior do on the cross, He forgave even his tormentors.”

“But
mama,
you can't compare us to Christ!”

“And why not? Shouldn't we strive for the finest that Our Lord God has sent to us here on Earth to witness? Look, you love Lupe very much, right?”

“Yes,” said Salvador.

“And it's been good between you two, eh?”

“It's been Heaven,
mama.
”

“Good. Good. And now you're afraid to tell her the truth about your business dealings, because you fear it will ruin the love that you and she now have?”

He nodded again. “Yes.”

The old woman breathed. “
Mi hijito,
” she said, sitting up, “there are lies and there are lies, and the truth is that all people lie—especially the people who protest so loudly to never lie. And so lies are not what destroy a home. It is the lie about love that embitters a woman's heart. And about your love for Lupe you have never lied,
mi hijito.
”

“Oh, no,
mama,
about my love I've been completely truthful,” said Salvador. “That's why I don't feel good about lying to her anymore.”

The old She-Fox reached out for her son's hand. “Good,
mi hijito,
” she said, “this makes perfect sense. For you and Lupe have now passed through the needle's eye of truelove and have entered into the Light of God.” She breathed. “You have planted your first Sacred Seed of the Thirteen Senses,
mi hijito,
” she added
with gusto.
“You are now on your way to giving root to all our God-Gifted Senses and learning how to make your own Miracles Here on Earth.”

“I hope so,” he said.

“Trust me, you are,” she said, smiling. “And this Love you now have is so intoxicating, that you and Lupe are now slipping, sliding into that Sacred Place of God's Song, the Heartbeat of the Universe, from where all young couples find the wisdom to build their own World.”

She stopped. She breathed. She could see it in her son's eyes that he was now finally beginning to comprehend what
Amor
was truly all about— a Human becoming a Spiritual Being.