Things Lost In The Fire (3 page)

Maybe he was right. Getting out of L.A., away from the spotlight and the press was the best thing. Maybe then she could escape the horrors of the night before and pretend it never happened.

She’d leave the image of that face behind, along with the life she was meant to live.

INCLINE VILLAGE, NEVADA

JUNE 2013

H
ER FINGERS trailed over the silvery surface of the lake, creating ripples in the glass. In the light of early morning, her heart absorbed every last drop of peace the water had to offer.

Sadie lost herself in it, gazing into the clear depths to view the rocky floor below. Occasionally she’d spot a slender fish darting in and out of the rocks, or hear the perky cry of a seagull in the distance. If she listened closer, she could hear the throaty roar of a boat engine, the sign of a fisherman setting out to take advantage of the lake’s peaceful morning. Within hours, tourists would flood the area and the lake would be filled with jet skis, swimmers, and summer fun.

Until then, though, the lake was hers. She often found herself setting out in her grandfather’s old wooden canoe at the crack of dawn, needing time alone. It was in these moments that her creative juices flowed best, and lyrics poured like rain from her fingertips. Here, in her quiet cove of beautiful Lake Tahoe, she was farthest from the life she’d once lived. And up until three days ago, she never imagined she’d want to leave. Want to go back to the place where everything fell to pieces.

Sadie removed her hand from the chilled water and lay back in the canoe, folding her arms behind her head. Her long waves of golden hair spilled around her, framing a face of softly honed feminine beauty. Sea foam green eyes gazed up at the colorless sky, lost in all that early morning gray. Beneath her, the collection of multicolored blankets and pillows made the boat feel like a floating bed, like something out of a dream.

But this was no dream. Her mother was dying.

She closed her eyes on a long sigh, feeling that sting of pain hit her again. Once the disbelief and shock had worn off, the sorrow had replaced it. Directly in her heart, in the one place she’d always assumed Valerie Ryan couldn’t reach. But somehow the woman had a hold over her, even after everything she’d done.

It had been three years since she’d last seen her mother. There were the occasional phone calls, Christmas cards or birthday wishes, but the two were largely estranged. Sadie preferred it that way, and could only assume Valerie did too.

Then the call had come. Not from Valerie herself, but from Sadie’s father, Ben. He’d heard through the gossipy grapevine of Albatross that Valerie had been diagnosed with stage three ovarian cancer. The chances of her surviving were lower than thirty percent. He’d wanted to tell Sadie before the press got a hold of the information.

Now she was faced with a choice: stay away and ignore it, or go back to L.A. and confront her demons head-on.

Part of her wanted to pretend that nothing had changed, but she couldn’t. As distant as they may be, the woman was still her mother. And all Sadie could think about was how scared and alone Valerie must feel, how lost and hopeless. It would take a colder heart than hers to ignore the only mother she’d ever have in the final days of her life.

So she’d be making the drive in a matter of hours, destined for that horrific city she’d long ago escaped from. Every time she returned there she felt smothered. There were too many people, too many scars of the past. Worst of which being the nightmare she’d experienced at fifteen.

Sadie’s eyes opened to avoid the image of his face. It tended to creep up on her, catching her off guard in moments of peace and quiet. Lee Walker would always plague her memories and dreams, even though her experience with him had lasted less than five minutes. He was the monster she’d spent the last eleven years running away from. Despite being dead he was always there, hiding in the dark corners of her nightmares, ready to strike back and take what he’d been cheated out of the first time.

The police had never solved the mystery of what happened to her. There had been no fingerprints on Walker’s gun other than his own and there were no witnesses. Except for Sadie, of course. But to the dismay of the police, she never remembered anything that could help.

Though they’d rounded up her mother, Tommy, and some house guests to test for gunshot residue, the majority had fled in the chaos. With hundreds of people, many who were friends of friends or even strangers, the likelihood of recovering them all and finding the shooter was near impossible. The police were left to give up and concede that the evidence supported Lee Walker assaulting Sadie, resulting in his albeit deserved death.

It’d taken weeks for the media coverage to die down, and even then the mystery of who shot Lee Walker remained one of L.A.’s greatest and most infamous scandals.

Unlike in Los Angeles, Sadie felt safe in Lake Tahoe. It was her quiet haven away from the notoriety that came from both the scandal and from being the only daughter of a pair of legendary musicians. While her parents continued to perform—her father with his band Albatross and her mother as a solo artist—Sadie stayed hidden. Stayed
safe
.

She couldn’t ignore the music in her blood, though. Nothing could ever stop that hunger, even fear of the spotlight. So she’d done the next best thing: she’d created a YouTube channel and performed under an alias.

Her grandfather had helped, understanding her need to release the music in her heart while preserving her anonymity. He’d seen what a lust for fame had done to his only son. With a video camera and a clever disguise, they’d created a mysterious, brilliant artist the world knew as Piper Gray. Sadie was shocked to see her videos garner hundreds of thousands of hits and pleas by the public for shows and an album. They adored her without having a clue who she really was.

If they knew they’d probably want her even more. But she preferred to see how far she could get on her own, without the names Ben McRae and Valerie Ryan behind her. Unlike her parents, it wasn’t the fame she desired. It was the joy of pouring her heart and soul into lyrics, into music, and sharing it with anyone who cared to listen.

That was why she’d turned down offers by record companies and agents who’d offered to make Piper Gray a household name. She didn’t need the money they promised, and she certainly didn’t feel comfortable performing in front of a crowd. The thought of being recognized terrified her. And all the publicity that would come with it, both good and bad, scared her even more.

She released a deep breath, knowing all of that would need to be put on hold for now. Who knew how long she’d be in Los Angeles—a week, a month, a year—whatever it took to fulfill her final duties as a daughter.

Then she could return to Tahoe and the peace she enjoyed there. Life would go on, and at least she would know she did all she could to help her mother.

The sun crested over the mountain range, spilling light across the water. Sadie sat up and reached for the little spiral notepad she carried with her everywhere. She jotted down a few song lyrics, inspired by the moment, then closed the pad and reached for the canoe’s wooden oar.

As she paddled her way back home, her vision blurred with unshed tears. By nightfall, she’d be in Los Angeles. Home to her greatest nightmare.

“DID YOU pack your cell phone charger?” Sadie’s grandmother asked, helping lift a guitar case into the back of the car. Her grandfather was busy trying to load a large suitcase, as usual too stubborn to admit his age.

“Yeah, it’s in my purse.” Sadie grabbed the guitar from her grandmother and placed it in the trunk of her green Suburu Crosstrek, then reached over to assist her grandfather. He swatted her hand away with a stubborn sniff.

“And the car charger too?”

“Yep.” Sadie gave up on helping her grandfather and faced her grandmother, offering a reassuring smile. “You know me. I’m the organized one in the family.”

Jo Beth McRae laughed, her vibrant blue tunic shifting to reveal her wooden beaded bracelets as she patted Sadie on the arm. The sun lit up her wild waves of salt and pepper hair, which she wore long and free of bonds. “That you are. Now, Walt, don’t hurt yourself.”

Walter McRae grunted as he finally shoved the suitcase into the trunk, shooting his wife a smug look. His dark eyebrows lifted with his smile. “Yes, dear.”

He was a tall, well built man with a deep voice and an even deeper heart. Though his coffee brown hair had gone gray over the years, he retained a sense of youthfulness and humor that could charm even the toughest cynic.

He’d married his Jo Beth when they’d both been eighteen, two country kids shuffling through the dust of nineteen fifties Oklahoma. They chased their dreams to a little town called Burbank, California, where they started a family and dug in roots. It wasn’t until the city closed in on them and the chance to retire from his job as a fireman came that they escaped to the sheltered forests of Lake Tahoe. By then, their son Ben had wandered into the sights of Valerie Ryan while living in Boston with Tommy Barnes, and history was made.

Sadie knew she was the product of that troubled, tormented history. Valerie had been, in the opinions of many, the best and worst thing that ever happened to Ben McRae. But without her, Albatross would have never soared to the same heights it did with her. Her goddess-like voice and Ben’s husky, soulful tone were a match made in music heaven.

Jo Beth let out a soft sigh, glancing around to make sure they’d gotten everything. “Well, it looks like you’re ready to go.”

Sadie nodded. “I won’t be gone that long. Maybe a month or so.”

“If I know your mother, she’ll live another ten years just to keep you in L.A. out of spite,” Walt said, earning a snicker from his wife. Neither of them had ever made a secret of their distaste for their son’s ex-wife.

Sadie shrugged, feeling that ache in her heart again. “Odds are she won’t have the option. And I’m all she has left. She needs me.”

“We know, honey.” Her grandmother pulled her in for a tight hug, patting her on the back. “You always were such a gentle soul. We’re so proud of you.”

Sadie met her grandmother’s cornflower blue eyes as she broke the hug. “I’ll miss you guys.”

Her grandfather rested a hand on her shoulder, squeezing it. “It takes a lot of courage to do what you’re doing.”

She faced him. “Does it? It just feels like something I should do.”

“Just don’t let her or anyone else in that hellhole of a city get you down. If at any time you want to come home, you know we’ll be here waiting for you.”

She nodded, unsure what to say in response. Instead, she wrapped her arms around his tall frame, breathing in the scent of Old Spice and pine needles. “I’ll call you when I get there.”

“I’m grateful you’ll be staying at Ben’s old place,” Jo Beth put in as Sadie gave her another hug. “I wouldn’t want you at Valerie’s. Too much bad energy in that old house.”

“I’ll be happier having my own space, anyway,” Sadie replied, reaching for her keys in her colorful patchwork purse. “Though it did take some convincing to get Dad to say yes.”

“Not like he’s using the place,” Walt said with a knowing grin. “He avoids going to L.A. like he’ll catch the plague.”

“I don’t blame him.” Sadie sighed, feeling anxious. “Is it bad that all I can think about is someone recognizing me?”

“You’ll be fine.” Jo Beth offered her a warm smile, the laughter lines around her eyes deepening. “Now go on before the traffic gets nasty.”