Thin White Line (18 page)

“Kenzie, this is Dad. How are you, honey?”

How the fuck do you think I am?
Those are the words I want to say, instead I answer, “Okay.”

“I’m so sorry, sweetheart. I know you must be reeling from the loss.”

“She’s still alive, Dad.” My voice comes out snappy.

“Yes, I know. I just heard from your uncle that it didn’t look good and I wanted to reach out to you and let you know that if there’s anything you need—anything at all—that I’m here for you.”

“Where have you been all this time?” I ask, shocked even as the words leave my mouth.

“I didn’t think you wanted to talk to me.”

Seriously?

“Princess, I know you’re angry at me. I know that. I spoke with Cole and he said that you were hurt that I’d come to visit him and didn’t do the same with you. I just didn’t want to run the risk of seeing your mother. I know she’s struggled with the separation and I just didn’t want to make it more painful for everyone.”

Princess… I hadn’t heard that name for so long.

“Kenzie, sweetie, I just want you to know that I—”

I don’t hear another word because when I turn Brooke’s eyes are wide open and she’s looking at me.

I drop the phone. “Brooke?”

My heart hammers in my ears.

She blinks a few times and then looks down at the respirator with panic in her eyes.

“It’s okay,” I tell her, hitting the nurse’s button. A short, round nurse comes into the room, brows lifted high as she stands at the door and pumps sanitizer on her hands. “Her eyes are open!” I yell.

Brooke glances at her.

The next minute the room is alive with activity and I stand back, my heart pumping nearly out of my chest, tears sliding down my cheeks. I have never known such relief in my life.

***

Brooke makes a fast recovery.

She can’t remember much of anything about that night and, when she speaks, her voice is raspy from the respirator that has been there for days. She also struggles with finding the right words.

Within days, she’s moved from Intensive Care to another floor, where she has more freedom. Her mom still watches us like a hawk, though, only allowing us time alone to walk up and down the halls.

The second Aunt Shelley leaves us to walk by ourselves, Brooke smiles. “You didn’t leave me? In fact, Dad said you practically lived here.”

I shake my head. “I went home to sleep.”

“You’re a good cousin,” she says, causing me to be a little stunned when her voice breaks. “You’re an even better friend.”

Her hand is in the crook of my arm. For the first time, I feel like the strong one in our relationship. “You’re my best friend,” I say.

She leans her head on my shoulder. “You’re my best friend, too.”

I don’t mention Sadie, who would probably argue that point, but I don’t care. I have my cousin back and I’m going to do everything in my power to help her get better.

We round the corner to Brooke’s room and she stops. “You know, you should probably call your dad back.”

I straighten. “How did you know he called?”

“I heard your discussion before you busted your phone into a million pieces.” A smile plays at her lips. “I may have been groggy at the time, but I do remember you had a bit of an attitude.

The broken phone had given me an excuse to not have to deal with anyone’s phone calls. If I was being honest with myself, I have to admit that I don’t want to talk to my dad...or anyone else lately.

“You only have one dad, Kenz.”

“I know that...but right now, I just don’t want to deal with it.”

“I understand. When you’re ready, call him.”

“I will.”

She takes a step and then turns back. “And one more thing.”

“What’s that?”

“Deklan.” Just hearing his name makes my heart miss a beat. “Curtis says he really likes you.”

I can’t wipe the grin off my face and she laughs under her breath, giving me a hug. “I like him, too.” Actually, my feelings are even stronger than that, but I keep any declarations of love to myself for the time being.

“I think you always did like him.”

I laugh. “I think I did, too. He’s beautiful and I’ve never met anyone else like him. He’s a good guy, you know?”

Brooke nods. “I do…so what were you waiting for?”

“I don’t know…”

We walk into Brooke’s hospital room.

“Surprise!”

Curtis is standing in the center of the room with a dozen roses in his hands. Nearby are Ryder and Deklan…and I can tell by the expression on both their faces that they overheard our discussion.

CHAPTER 17

Branded
.

The neon lights of the sign stare back at me and I think of a million excuses of why I should just drive away.

Instead, I get out of my car and start walking towards the front door.

No one is working the front desk.

“Be right there,” Deklan says, his dark head bent, chewing on his lip ring as he concentrates on a tattoo.

I haven’t seen him for two weeks and it feels like an eternity. I can hardly wait for the band to start practicing again because I miss him desperately. So much it makes my heart hurt.

No one has ever made me feel the way he does.

When he and Ryder had overheard my conversation with Brooke, I had thought maybe either one of them would say something. Instead, everyone had stayed focused on Brooke. I’d given each of the guys a hug before they left the hospital. Ryder had surprised me when he’d kissed me on the lips.

Deklan had walked out the door and I hadn’t heard from him since.

I hesitate inside the tattoo parlor’s door, wondering if I should stay or not. It had taken me forever to convince my mom that Deklan was an alright guy and that she should let me stop by here to see him after picking up some work from school, but now my nerves are getting the better of me.

Deklan glances up at me and my stomach twists. There is no smile, no expression at all.

A part of me wants to run in the opposite direction, but I can’t very well do that without looking like an idiot.

“Ready for a break?” he asks the person in his chair. A gorgeous brunette with fake eyelashes and the most exotic green eyes I’ve ever seen stands up.

She glances at me, her gaze skipping over my plain v-neck, jeans, and converse tennis shoes. She actually has stilettos on and her jeggings hug an amazingly curvy body, complete with what looks like fake boobs.

“I need to take a piss anyway,” she says.

I lift my brows. Not the classiest of girls…

“Last door on the right,” Deklan tells her, setting his tattoo gun aside and removing his gloves, tossing them in the trash.

He’s wearing a white shirt that is so thin that I can see the tattoos through it. My stomach tightens…

“Hey, what are you up to?” he asks, running a hand through his hair. He actually looks really happy to see me.

I miss your smile. I miss your voice. I miss every single thing about you.

I want you.

I freaking need you.

Every single word is on the tip of my tongue, but I bite them back.

He sucks the lip ring into his mouth and his eyes narrow as he watches me, watch him. “Brooke okay?” he finally asks.

I nod. “Yeah, she’s great. She’s just finished her first week of physical therapy.”

“Curtis mentioned it. He’s doing really well. I’m proud of him. Hasn’t touched any drugs or alcohol since the night of the accident.”

The news thrills me. I’m proud of him, too. “He seems happy.”

“He is happy.” Deklan takes a deep breath, releases it. “What a scare, huh?”

“Most definitely.”

The toilet flushes.

He rolls back on his heels. “So...what’s on your agenda today?”

“Headed home. I have a lot of homework.”

“I bet you do. Ryder said you hadn’t been at school.”

“I didn’t feel like going back so soon after…”

“I understand.”

“I’m going back next week...with Brooke.”

“She’s lucky she has you.”

“I’m lucky I have her.” I press my lips together and glance at the wall behind his back. I feel stupid. “So how many appointments do you have today?”

“Just the one.” This is so awkward. Maybe I shouldn’t have come. After all, he would have called me after hearing my confession to Brooke that I liked him if he felt the same way.

The brunette’s stiletto’s click on the floor. “I should probably go.”

“Do I have time for a smoke?” she asks and Deklan nods.

She walks past us, her perfume lingering in her wake. He smiles and I realize again just how much I’ve missed that grin.

He glances beyond me and I follow his gaze. The brunette stands out front watching us. She quickly looks away and takes a long drag of her cigarette, blowing out an impressive smoke ring above her dark curls.

I turn back to him. “I should go so you can get back to work.” I feel like an idiot. Maybe I’m not so different than any of the other girls who stalk him.

I have one hand on the door when long fingers curl around my wrist. “Kenz,” he says.

“I miss you,” I blurt out. “So much I can’t stand it.” There it is. The truth. And it feels so good that I breathe a steady sigh of relief. “I miss talking to you. I miss hearing your voice, seeing your face. I miss you, Deklan.”

His eyes search mine, and he takes a step closer. I bury my head in his chest, my arms sliding around his waist. His arms come around me, hugging me back so tight I have a tough time drawing a breath in.

But I don’t care.

“What about Ryder
—
” he asks, his voice barely a whisper.

I look up at him. “I don’t want Ryder. I want to be with you.”

I remember what Brooke first told me about Ryder and Deklan. They are inseparable. Blood brothers they called themselves when they were younger. Apparently, they even had a ceremony where they’d cut their palms with a knife and shook hands.

I don’t want to hurt that friendship or bond that they have, but I want Deklan.

The brunette walks back in, the smell of cigarettes mingling with her strong perfume.

“Come by later?” he asks, his voice hopeful.

I nod. Nothing will keep me away from him. “What time?”

“Eight.”

I nod. “I’ll be there.”

***

At eight o’clock, I arrive at Deklan’s house. It hadn’t been easy to convince my mom to let me go see him tonight, either, but she had finally relented when I reminded her that he’s a really good guy.  I had to promise to be home by eleven, though.

I wait for eight minutes before he pulls into the driveway.

I get out of my car and meet him in the driveway.

“Sorry, my appointment ran a little over.”

I try not to be jealous as I think of him tattooing the gorgeous brunette. It’s tough because I know between the tattooing and the band that he will always have attention from women.

“Come on in.” I follow him, my heart pounding with every step that leads us inside. The last time I’d been here, my cousin overdosed.

There is no one here now. The house is silent.

We head downstairs to his room and he takes a seat on the couch. I sit beside him and he immediately begins talking. “I miss you, too, Kenzie. I kept my distance because I thought it was the right thing to do at the time. Ryder likes you. He talks about you constantly.”

“I want you.” I put my hand over his.

His throat convulses as he swallows hard, then he reaches up and brushes long fingers along my jaw. “I want you, too.”

The smile disappears from my lips and I kiss him...with all the passion I’ve been feeling since I met him.

His hands cup my face and his lips meet mine. The touch is soft at first, but soon grows heated as I scoot closer to him, my arms around his neck. I push him back on the couch and am soon the aggressor, kissing him, my hands in his hair.

Reaching behind his head, he drags the shirt over his head and tosses it aside. I slide my hands along the chiseled planes of his chest, his abdomen, and the sides of his mouth curve into a mischievous grin that I feel all the way to my toes.

“Are you sure?” he asks.

I nod.

He slows the frantic rhythm I’ve started and, lifting me in his arms, he takes me to his room, lays me on the bed, then slowly begins to undress me. I’m so nervous when I’m down to my bra and panties, but he stops there and unbuttons his pants, sliding them down then off.

My heart pounds a million miles an hour as he kneels onto the bed beside me, kisses me again, slowly, and then deeply. His lips leave mine to kiss down my neck to the curve of my breasts. He unhooks my bra, raining kisses everywhere at once, down my stomach, and then he’s pulling my panties off.

He kisses me between my thighs and my fingers slide into his hair, fisting it as a delicious ache builds inside me.

“Deklan,” I say in a moan, my thighs falling open as his tongue and mouth bring me to a quick climax.

He kisses a path back up my stomach to my breasts.

“I need you,” I whisper.

I explore his broad shoulders with my hands, slowly feeling the muscle beneath my fingers, over the curve of his narrow waist and the ridge of his high butt cheeks. A moan emanates from him, the sound sending a spike of pleasure through me.

He reaches into his nightstand, I hear the rip of paper, and watch as he rolls on the condom. Seconds later he eases his cock into me and I bite my bottom lip against the pressure there, the pain, as he slides inch-by-inch inside me.

“Do you want me to stop?” he asks, his eyes more intense than I have ever seen them.

I shake my head.

“Are you sure?” He’s trembling.

I nod.

He thrusts and settles his long, thick length in me with a satisfied moan. Then, slowly he begins to move. The movements are strong and fluid, his thrusts slow, building an ache so deep inside me, I moan with the pleasure of it.

Once again he’s kissing me with so much passion I want to cry. We move together and soon I’m close to experiencing a pinnacle that seems just out of reach. In that moment I am aware of everything about him—his strength, his dark beauty, his kindness, and then it happens—my world explodes, and I cry out in ecstasy at the same time Deklan groans and buries his face in my hair.

He presses his lips to my forehead and I experience a raw emotion that I’ve never known before.

Slowly, he rolls off me and pulls me into his embrace; our legs entangled, our hearts pounding hard as we fight to catch our breaths.

Heaven. I can’t think of a better way to express what making love for the first time feels like.

***

I wake up to the sound of someone banging on the door. We had fallen asleep after making love and Deklan sits up abruptly.

“Deklan, what the fuck?”

It’s Ryder.

“Get dressed,” Deklan whispers, giving me a kiss before he slides out of bed and yanks his jeans on. He hands me my shirt and pants. Once I’m dressed, he answers the door.

Ryder’s gaze shifts from Deklan to me, then back again. “Really, dude?” His pupils are the size of pin heads and his eyes are glassy. Not only is he high, he’s drunk. I can smell alcohol on his breath.

“We’ll talk about this later, Ryder.”

“Did you fuck her?” Ryder asks, a sneer on his lips.

A blush rushes up my cheeks.

Deklan doesn’t respond.

“Seriously, did you fuck her?”

Before Deklan can respond, Ryder swings at him...but Deklan puts his hand up and catches his fist in mid-swing. “I’m not going to fight you, Ryder.”

The side of Ryder’s mouth lifts in a cruel smile. “Why not? You can steal my girl behind my back, but when it takes time to man up, you’re too afraid to? Fuck you, man.” His gaze settles on me. “You totally played me,” Ryder says, looking at me in disgust. “You played me. I gave up another girl for you.”

“You never gave up anyone for me,” I say, hoping he will just walk away.

“I fuck Sadie, so what is this—a revenge lay? Is that it?” Ryder’s eyes narrow and he glances at Deklan. “Looks like we were both played.”

The nerve in Deklan’s jaw clenches.

“Ryder, I really liked you...I did, but I love Deklan.”

Deklan’s eyes widen in surprise. I’m even surprised at the declaration, but it’s true. I love Deklan.

I don’t think Ryder hears me, though, or maybe he did because he laughs like it’s the most hysterical thing he’s ever heard.

“Too bad for you that Deklan never loves anyone. Isn’t that right, Deklan?”

A nerve tics in Deklan’s jaw as he reaches for him. “Ryder, come on. Let’s talk about this in the morning when you’re sober.”

Ryder yanks his hand out of his grasp. “Quit acting like you’re so much better than I am. You never drink to get fucked up, I get it. You don’t do drugs because your parents were fucking losers. In fact, you’re trash, man. Your entire family is white trash. The only reason you don’t do drugs is because you’re afraid you’ll die just like your old man did from a heroin overdose.”

The words hit me like a ton of bricks. No wonder Deklan hates drugs.

“And for all we know, your mom is selling herself on some street corner.”

Deklan flinches like he’s been slapped. “What did you say?”

“Hit me, mother fucker.” Ryder pounds a fist against his chest. “White trash, mother fucker. You know you want to.”

Deklan punches him and Ryder staggers back, hitting the bedroom door. He lifts a hand to his face. “You fucking broke my nose. You always said bro’s before ho’s. You lied to me.”

“Ryder, stop already,” I say, taking a step towards him, but Deklan reaches for my hand.