Thin Air (42 page)

Dex was clearly reluctant to
leave her, but Jem linked her arm through his and dragged him off
down the street. Jay watched them go. The love she felt for them
would sustain her through whatever happened next.

She glanced up at the windows.
The curtains were drawn. It was still very early. Perhaps Gus
wouldn’t be there. What would she do if Gina answered the door?

Jay pressed the buzzer for her
flat. She had to press it several times, on each occasion leaving
her finger there for longer. Eventually, she invoked a
grumpy-sounding Gus. ‘Who the fuck is it?’

‘Hello lover,’ Jay said lightly.
‘Are you going to open the door or do I break another window?’

There was a stunned silence,
then the soft word ‘Jay’ and the sound of the lock being activated.
Jay opened the door. Her heart was beating fast.

Gus was unshaven and sheepish,
wrapped in a dressing-gown at the threshold of the flat. He tried
to say something, but Jay just pushed past him and marched into the
living room. The flat was in the same squalid condition as the last
time she’d seen it. She turned and saw Gus came to stand in the
doorway, rubbing the back of his neck. He looked awkward in the
extreme. Jay folded her arms. ‘Well?’

Gus shrugged. ‘Jay, I...’

‘Where is she?’

‘Where’s who?’

‘You know damn well who. The
virginal Virginia. Is she hiding in the bedroom?’

Gus frowned. ‘No... She’s not
here.’

‘Lucky for her, then. Would you
mind explaining to me what you’re doing here? I presume you broke
in and took possession. How long ago was this?’

Gus ventured forward. ‘Jay, you
just disappeared. Gina told me what had happened, and how you’d
gone to that wanker’s sister...’

Jay nodded slowly, her eyes
narrow. ‘Did she now? Was it her idea for you to come back
here?’

‘Well, you just left it, didn’t
you? It would have been repossessed. The mortgage was still going
out of the joint account. What did you expect me to do? Just let
the place rot? How was I to know you’d change your mind and come
back?’

‘How long ago?’ Jay asked.

He wriggled his shoulders in
embarrassment. ‘About four weeks ago, a few days after you’d told
Gina what you were going to do.’

‘Right.’ Jay took a deep breath.
‘For the record, I never told Gina of my plans. She obviously had
her own agenda through all this. Perhaps we were both dupes.’

Gus yawned and laughed bitterly.
‘You could say that.’

‘Oh?’

Gus sat down on the sofa, his
hands dangling between his knees. ‘Well, you might as well know.
There was a bit of a scene last night. Some woman turned up here
accusing Gina of having an affair with her husband.’ He rubbed his
face. ‘She was doing the dirty on me. We’re finished.’

Jay laughed coldly. ‘Poor
you.’

Gus nodded, seemingly oblivious
of Jay’s tone. ‘Yeah. The woman who came - it was that Rhys
Lorrance’s wife. Can you believe it?’

Jay contained her reaction, and
spoke softly. ‘You’d be surprised to know how much I’d believe.’
She paused. ‘And was Gina having an affair with Lorrance?’

Gus sneered. ‘She tried to deny
it, but I could tell she was lying. She’d had him here. Bitch.’ He
looked up at Jay, his expression bewildered.

Jay thought he looked pathetic.
She almost felt sorry for him, but her main concern was the
information he’d just given her. ‘What did Gina say about me, Gus?’
Jay asked. ‘How did she convince you I was seeing Dex?’

Gus’ expression took on a mulish
cast. ‘She told me the truth, that’s all.’

‘The truth!’ Jay laughed coldly.
‘You still believe that?’

Gus ran his fingers through his
hair. ‘Oh, I don’t know. You were up to something though, Jay, you
can’t deny that.’

‘I wasn’t,’ she said. ‘Whatever
happened was a direct result of Gina’s betrayal and your lack of
trust.’

Gus leaned back on the sofa.
‘Oh, that’s right, blame me.’

‘I’m not. I’m just saying it was
a result. That’s different.’

So what happens now?’ he asked.
‘You want to come back?’

Jay laughed again, this time in
incredulity. ‘That’s not why I’m here,’ she said. ‘I just wanted to
get everything sorted out.’

‘This place is still half mine,’
Gus said.

Jay nodded, smiling. ‘I could
dispute that actually, but I won’t. You wanted me to buy you off,
so try this on for size. Give me my half instead. You can have the
place.’

Gus stared at her. ‘You
are
back with that wanker, aren’t you?’

‘That’s none of your business,’
Jay said.

‘I knew it!’

‘Yeah, you know it,’ Jay said,
‘you know it all, don’t you. What do I care? If you want to think I
was seeing Dex before, then believe it. It doesn’t matter to me.
You and I weren’t right for each other. Surely you can see that
now?’

Gus sucked his lower lip for a
moment, then seemed to crumple inwardly. ‘You came here a couple of
nights ago, didn’t you? Gina didn’t want to believe it. Said it was
kids that had broken in. But I knew it was you. I’m not that
surprised to see you now. You took the car, right?’

‘Yes, and now I’ve returned it.’
She threw him the keys. ‘It’s outside.’

‘Where have you been?’ He
frowned. ‘Jay, it’s been weeks. Your car was found abandoned out in
the middle of nowhere. I thought the worst, until Gina explained
everything. What possessed you to do a thing like that? Didn’t you
consider how people might worry?’

Jay set her mouth into a sneer.
‘What people? You? Gina? As if you cared!’

Gus showed her his palms in an
open gesture. ‘I know we had an ugly scene. I was wound up, but
that doesn’t mean I wasn’t concerned about you.’

Jay sighed and sat down in a
chair opposite him. ‘I needed to get away to think about my life,’
she said. ‘It was time for a change all round. I don’t want to
fight now, Gus. Gina’s been a cow, obviously, and even now I’m not
sure how much of one. I don’t really want to know. In a way, her
betrayal did me a favour. I’ve had to sort myself out.’

Gus shook his head slowly. ‘This
has been one weird time.’

‘It has. So, anyway, what do you
think about my suggestion? Can you buy me out?’

Gus fixed her with a meaningful
stare. ‘Is that what you want?’

‘Yes. It is.’

There was a short silence, then
Gus said. ‘I didn’t want any of this to happen, Jay. I was content,
then suddenly my whole life was falling apart.’

Jay didn’t feel capable of
comment.

Jay couldn’t give Gus a contact
number, but told him she’d be in touch in a day or so. He wanted to
know where she was going, but she wouldn’t tell him. He also asked
her if she was going to confront Gina. ‘You just call her and tell
her what’s happened,’ Jay said. ‘I’m sure she needs a friend at the
moment.’

Gus began to grumble and swear,
but Jay interrupted. ‘Of course, you won’t have seen the papers
yet. Lorrance was killed last night.’

Gus raised his eyebrows. ‘Get
away! How?’

‘Shot,’ said Jay. ‘He was
involved in all kinds of shady business.’

‘Who isn’t, in this fucking
industry?’ said Gus.

Jay nodded. ‘True. Still, his
death will probably be a great shock to Gina.’

‘Well she deserves it,’ Gus said
coldly.

‘Who are we to judge?’ Jay
said.

She went out into the street,
unsure of what she felt about Gina. It was hard to accept someone
she’d looked upon as a close friend could have behaved in the way
she had. She must have known what Lorrance was doing, even as she
offered the hand of comfort and support. What made someone do a
thing like that? It was grotesque. Jay strolled down the road to
the cafe. She must cast off all the unwanted baggage from her past
life. Anything was possible now. Anything.

Samantha Lorrance walked through the
bedrooms of her house, deciding what she would keep and what she
would sell. Later that morning, an estate agent was coming to value
the property. Samantha couldn’t live there anymore. She’d been
staying with her old friends in London for a week or so, and now
planned to move back there. She had become a very wealthy woman,
and could afford to buy somewhere to her taste in the city.

Mrs Moran was in the kitchen as
she had been every morning since Samantha had moved in as a new
bride. Samantha could hear the comforting clatter of cutlery and
crockery. Perhaps whoever bought this house would keep Mrs Moran,
Terry and the gardeners on. Samantha didn’t like to think of them
losing their jobs. Strangely enough, letters of sympathy had
arrived from several neighbours, women who’d never bothered with
Samantha before.
I needed you more in the past
, Samantha
thought as she read the letters. She would reply warmly, because
she liked to be polite, but she didn’t really care about them.

Samantha was eager to leave the
house. She had a dinner date with Cherry and two male friends later
on. She hoped the estate agent wouldn’t be late. She’d go and have
a cup of coffee with Mrs Moran until he arrived. Sometimes, she
cried about Rhys, especially at night, but it was just because she
felt sorry for him. She didn’t miss him particularly. Being his
wife had been like living in an enchanted castle. It hadn’t been
real life and she realised now she’d had no deep love for him.
She’d thought that marrying him would secure her future, and
despite what had happened, it had.

Samantha came down the stairs.
The hall was a horrible place to her now and she always hurried
through it. She wasn’t afraid of seeing a ghost, but shied from
recalling the sight of her dead husband. She resisted the urge to
close her eyes and run blindly for the passage to the kitchen. At
the bottom of the stairs, Samantha uttered a short moan of horror.
There was something on the floor there, just where Rhys had died.
For a moment, she was frozen to the spot. Then she saw that it was
just a shadow, cast by someone standing in the living room
doorway.

‘My God,’ Samantha said.
‘Lacey?’

‘Hi.’ Lacey came out from the
room and looked up at her step-mother.

Samantha skipped down the stairs
and gave the girl a hug. ‘You poor love. Oh, sweetheart, how are
you?’

‘I’m fine,’ Lacey said. She
kissed Samantha on the cheek and withdrew. ‘And you?’

‘Oh, mucking through. It’s
been...’ She shrugged. Any words would seem inadequate. ‘You missed
the funeral. I’m sorry. I didn’t know how to contact you.’

‘I knew about the funeral,’
Lacey said. ‘It’s OK. You know how it was with me and Dad.’

‘Come and have a cup of coffee,’
Samantha said firmly, slipping her hand through Lacey’s elbow.

‘I will,’ Lacey said, ‘but
first, I have to ask you something. It’s very important.’

Samantha felt uneasy. ‘Well,
yes, of course. What is it?’

‘The house,’ said Lacey.

‘The house?’

Lacey pushed a few strands of
hair from her face. ‘Mmm. This isn’t easy, but it is important. I
want to come back here.’

Samantha frowned. ‘Here? To
live?’

Lacey nodded. ‘Someone has to. I
can’t explain, but I need to be here.’

Samantha sighed. ‘Oh, love, I’m
so sorry. I’m putting the house on the market today.’

‘Please don’t,’ said Lacey.

Samantha stared at the girl for
a few moments. ‘I can’t live here, Lacey.’

‘I know.’ Lacey closed her eyes
briefly. ‘Something’s left here, Sam. It can’t be left alone, or
passed on to anyone else. It has to be me.’

Rhys had left his daughter
nothing in his will. At the time Samantha had discovered this,
she’d wondered what would happen if Lacey ever did make a
reappearance. For this reason, she’d been half expecting it. ‘Look,
we can come to some arrangement,’ Samantha said. ‘I’m not mean,
Lacey. I’ll make sure you get something.’

‘No, you don’t understand,’
Lacey said. ‘I don’t want money. I want this house. Remember when I
came to you and tried to explain what Dad was into? You wouldn’t
listen to me, but now you must know in your heart I was right. You
don’t ever want to know what went on here, but it was bad, Sam.
Someone has to take that legacy on, do something about it. You
don’t know what I’m talking about, really, so how can that someone
be you? And strangers don’t deserve to live with what’s here. Could
you just sell this place and let that happen? What if the new
owners have children? Would that be fair?’

Samantha paused, uncertain. She
felt as if dark wings were closing around her.

‘Please don’t make me show you
what’s here,’ Lacey said quietly, her face set into an expression
of anguish. ‘I can do that, and I really don’t want to, but if you
won’t let me have the house, I’ll have no choice but to show
you.’

Samantha thought of numbers
appearing in swirling leaves, of shadows that walked to the door of
the house. The hall felt incredibly cold. She did not want to know
and she did not want to see.

‘You’re a good person,’ Lacey
said. ‘Please accept what I say. It’s not about money.’

‘You couldn’t afford to run a
place like this,’ Samantha said. ‘Could you?’

‘That’s not your worry. I have
my resources.’ The hall echoed with her voice, its walls white and
chill.

Samantha felt a responsibility
hanging over her, something she didn’t want. The decision,
ultimately, was easily made. Immediately she felt lighter, and
giggled. ‘Oh, what the hell. I have more than enough for my needs.
Have the house, Lacey, if that’s what you want.’

Lacey threw her arms around
Samantha and hugged her tightly. ‘Thank you. You’ve done the right
thing.’

‘I don’t envy you,’ Samantha
said, leading Lacey from the hall towards the kitchen. ‘This place
has a bad feeling.’

‘We can change that,’ Lacey
said.

With Jay’s half of the equity in
her old flat, she and Dex bought a dilapidated farmhouse in the
north of England, to be nearer to Julie. Music was in Dex’s blood;
he couldn’t abandon it, but the pieces he composed now were very
different to anything he’d done before. Sakrilege fought to keep
him, but lost the fight. It was almost as if Dex wasn’t meant to be
on that label any more. Zeke Michaels lost his job in a major staff
reshuffle after Lorrance’s death. Life, Jay thought, had certainly
given him part of what he deserved. She suspected Michaels’
personal life wouldn’t be going too well either.