Then Comes Marriage (18 page)

“Derek,” she says softly, and I lose control. My arms go around her, pulling her in, pressing her heart right up against mine. She tips her head up and our lips crash together in a fury of passion. I want her, need her, and it’s taking everything I have not to press her up against the door and devour her.
 

My tongue slips in her mouth and she’s the best thing I’ve ever tasted. Rachel lets out a soft moan that is such a fucking turn on. I move closer, putting my hips against hers. The heat of her against me feels so good. Her hands are in my hair and I kiss her harder, and I’m not even aware I’m moving forward until Rachel’s back hits the door. She brings her hands down, nails raking over my skin, and grabs my waist, pulling me as close as possible.
 

I take a fistfull of her hair and pull her head back, moving my lips to her neck. Rachel gasps and curls her fingers, nails biting into my skin. I gently nip at her neck then suck at her skin before moving my mouth back to hers. She slips her hands under my shirt and her skin on mine is almost too much. I want to pick her up and fuck her right here, right now, not caring where we are or who could see.
 

I just want her.
 

She brings her hands around to my front, fingers running down my abs, dancing with the waistband of my shorts. She parts her legs and I move in, already hard for her. Her thumb is on the button of my pants when she suddenly stops and turns her head. Not kissing her is like being suddenly shoved under icy water.
 

I can’t breathe.
 

“Derek,” she whispers and closes her eyes. Her hands fall and the lack of her touch is painful. Gently, I push her hair out of her face and kiss her forehead.
 

“It’s okay,” I tell her, knowing what she’s going to say.

“I’m just…not yet. You’re not mad?” she asks apprehensively.
 

Her question throws me. “No, never.” What kind of asshole had she been with who’d get mad at her for not wanting to have sex? I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t disappointed, but not because I have to get my dick wet. It’s because I want to stay with Rachel one way or another.
 

She tips her head up and kisses me again, soft, teasing, and then wraps her arms around my shoulders and rests her head against my chest. I embrace her, holding her closer. A few beats pass between us before she speaks.
 

“I had fun today. Are you busy tomorrow?”

“No,” I say. “I really didn’t have anything planned other than just being here.”
 

“Good. So…call me when you get up?”
 

“I can do that.”
 

We exchange numbers, kiss once, twice, three more times, and they say goodbye. I feel disoriented as I walk away, knowing completely how crazy this all is. I hurry back to my room, set on taking a cold shower because I can’t get the taste, the feel of Rachel out of my mind.
 

Not that I want to.

I open the door to my room as quietly as I can. Justin fell asleep with the TV on, and the glow from an infomercial about super-absorbent bath towels offers enough light for me to grab a pair of boxers and go into the bathroom to brush my teeth and shower.

“Hey, man,” Justin says when I get to my bed. He sits up, blinking in the dark and looks across the room and smirks. “Damn. Just getting in? You need to teach me your ways.”
 

“Oh, uh, yeah.” I get into bed, exhaustion hitting me. So much has happened in the last twenty-four hours. “In the morning.”
 

“I want to hear all about it. That blonde chick was smoking!”
 

I chuckle and lay down, expecting to pass out instantly. Instead, I drift in and out of sleep, not falling deep enough for even a dream. Two hours later and I’m cursing myself and damning how tired I’ll be tomorrow. Though the sooner morning gets here, the sooner I can see Rachel again.
 

I want to feel her against me, heart beating in rhythm with mine. But unease grows in me, getting stronger and stronger as the sun creeps up, brightening the night. I stare at the pale orange glow reflecting off the ocean waves, wanting to fight it back down and keep the night.
 

Because with daybreak, right now is over. Today is now tomorrow, and that’s one day closer to leaving Hawaii…and Rachel.

Chapter Fifteen

Rachel
 

Early morning sun lights up the room. A cool breeze comes through the balcony windows, which I left open on accident. The breeze is nice, but the bugs…not so much. I pull the white sheets up to my chin and bury my face in the pillow. It’s way too early to get up. My body is exhausted from a day of hiking and a night of dancing. My mind is tired from all the mental stimulation and my heart…I don’t even know what to say about that.
 

I work hard to
not
think about Derek. Because if I do, I won’t get back to sleep. Hell, it was hard enough falling asleep after that kiss last night. It left me so hot and bothered that after an hour of tossing and turning I had to take care of business myself before I could relax and sleep.
 

I haven’t quite processed everything yet, haven’t done my obsessive back-thinking where I mentally retrace every step of our…was that a date? Whatever it was, I want to do it again. Besides the obvious—devilish good looks and a kiss that can literally melt my panties off—Derek is a force to be reckoned with. He’s funny, and there is something so damn sexy about a man who can make me laugh. Lord knows I could use some humor in my life. He’s easy to talk to, like we’ve been friends for years. And though I can’t be sure, it’s like he just gets me.
 

And that’s what we all want, isn’t it? Someone who understands your own personal brand of weird. Someone who accepts you with no questions asked. Someone who embraces your flaws and just rolls with it.
 

Stop it, Rachel.

I’m getting way ahead of myself again. Even if Derek is all those things and more, there’s no point fantasizing about it. In less than a week, he’ll get on a plane and go back to Dallas. And not long after that I’ll be going home to Michigan where I’ll start my mundane life all over again.
 

If that wasn’t the case, I just got out of a long term relationship. One that was supposed to end in marriage. Parting ways with Travis might have been more freeing than damaging, but I need to give myself a break, right?
 

I don’t want to be the girl who can’t be alone. I don’t want to be afraid to be single, to avoid the silence because I don’t want to hear the truth.
 

Is it too soon to be over Travis? Anger still rises in me when I think of his betrayal, but I don’t feel the same rage anymore. I’m angry at myself for wasting time with him, for letting him dull my sparkle and make me think there was something wrong with being me.
 

But I don’t feel heartache, don’t feel longing. The thought of his lips on mine is repulsive, really. Does that make my heart ready? Part of me thinks that an amount of time passing doesn’t matter. No one else but me has to live in my head, feel what I feel. So if I’m ready to move on in three weeks or three months, what does it matter?

It shouldn’t matter. Not now. Whatever this is with Derek will come to a screeching halt in a matter of days. We’ll get on with our lives and I’ll look back at my Hawaiian rebound with a smile on my face. It’ll be a story for the grandkids one day, and they’ll gasp in shock at how crazy old grannie once was.
 

I roll over in bed and close my eyes, trying to will myself back to sleep. I’m on vacation. There is no way I’m getting out of bed before 7 AM if I can help it. Restless, I grab my phone and log onto my social media accounts, doing my best to answer emails and reply to comments. I altered my “I’m away on my honeymoon and won’t be available that often” post I had written weeks ago—yeah, I was excited to be able to say I was celebrating marital bliss on a tropical island—but had yet to break the news to my followers that the wedding was off.
 

It’ll come up eventually, and those that pay close attention will know something is up since no wedding photos have been posted. I want to avoid that social media shit storm for as long as possible. I’m lucky and have a strong following of supportive women, but there are always trolls. It’s the internet for crying out loud. I’m not sure it could exist without trolls. They keep the cyber balance or something.
 

I upload a picture of the Twin Falls to Instagram with a short caption, then get distracted mindlessly scrolling through my Facebook newsfeed. Lauren posted a photo of Noah holding Ella, and I feel a little tug on my heart. All things considered, I’m glad to be back home with my friends and family.
 

A second after I like Lauren’s photo, she texts me.
 

Why are you awake and on FB so early? It’s like 7 AM your time. But since you’re up… I read online that Aiden Shepherd is in Maui. Look for him and get a picture if you can!
 

Lauren is a bit obsessed with the actor. Has been for a few years now.
I’ll keep my eyes open
, I promise her.

I put the phone down and get comfy, staring out the open doors. The sun is already bright on the water, but watching the lapping waves calms me, keeps my mind clear enough to fall back asleep.
 

~*~

Two hours later, I wake to another text message. I was deep asleep, dreaming about mermaids and whales, and maybe an incredibly sexy homicide detective who resembles a young Hugh Jackman. I grumble, assuming it’s Lauren asking about Aiden Shepherd again. Instead, it’s an unknown number asking me about breakfast.
 

Derek.

I blink the sleep out of my eyes and reply, telling him that I would very much like to get breakfast with him but need at least half an hour to get ready. I haven’t showered yet, though I didn’t tell him that. I could easily sleep the rest of the morning away, but I spring out of bed and rush into the bathroom to shower.
 

One of the best things about this shorter haircut is how quickly it dries. I pull half of it up into a clip, decide to forgo makeup—he’s already seen me without it, and sweating in makeup is never pretty—and pull on a loose-fitting tunic tank and shorts. The shirt is low cut, low enough to warrant another shirt under it. I look at myself in the mirror for too long, debating if showing off the girls is a good idea or not.
 

Again, he’s seen me in a bikini. And I’ve embraced my body, big boobs and all. Plus, I can tell by the clouds rolling in that the threat of rain is going to make today even more humid than yesterday. I slip on my shoes, grab my purse, and text Derek as I’m walking into the hall. We’re meeting in the hotel lobby and walking to a little cafe that overlooks the ocean. My heart speeds up faster and faster each floor I go down.
 

I’m excited to see him, almost to the point of being giddy like a school girl. The logical part of me says to stop it, get a grip and be embarrassed by the way I’m acting. I tell that part to shut the hell up.
 

The elevator doors open and I see Derek right away. His back is turned, and people mill about the lobby. I step off the elevator and he whirls around, as if he’s feeling the same unseen force that I am. Our eyes meet and I can’t help but smile.
 

“Rachel,” he says, striding forward. “You look beautiful.”
 

“Thanks.” I run my eyes over him. “You don’t look so bad yourself.” I stop in front of him, not sure what to do. Shake his hand? Hug him? Put my lips to his? After what his kiss did to me last night, I want to reach inside his pants and see if he’s as thick as I imagined.
 

Derek leans in and that’s all I need. My arms open and I move closer. I cup his face and tip my head up. We kiss, and it sends the same jolt of hot electricity through me. To my lady bits, specifically. I melt into him.
 

He breaks away too soon, before I’m done with him. Even still, I’m left breathless.
 

“Sorry,” he pants, trying to catch his own breath as well. “If I don’t stop now, I won’t be able to.”
 

“Good thinking. Because I won’t be able to stop you either.”
 

Derek inhales sharply, biting his lip to keep from smiling. Does he realize how incredibly sexy he looks doing that? A shiver runs down my spine, bringing heat between my legs and it takes everything in me not to grab his hand and lead him back to my hotel room.

I’ve never felt passion like that before. Never felt drunk from desire, making me want to do very bad things to this very good man. Must be the island, right?
 

“Fuck it,” Derek mumbles and puts his mouth back to mine, devouring me with his kiss. I rake my fingers through his hair, standing on my toes to reach him. My heart is racing and all I can think about is how good he tastes, how incredible he feels, and how much better this could be if we were naked.
 

“For real this time,” he says with a laugh and begrudgingly pulls away. His hands run down my arms, fingers lacing between mine. A few seconds pass, and I need them to cool my jets. Then we step into muted sunlight and walk down the sidewalk to the café.
 

“I think it’s going to rain today,” I say, looking up. “The pressure is suffocating.”
 

“The barometric pressure?”
 

“Yeah. It’s even worse when it storms. All that electromagnetic energy makes me anxious. Though, I like thunderstorms,” I add, remembering how Travis used to tell me I was full of shit for thinking I could sense a storm coming.
 

“I read an article on USA Today about how storms affect animals and people,” he says. “It’s interesting. I’m not sensitive to stuff like that, though. But I believe it can mess with you. Full moons certainly mess with people. There’s nothing like the light of a full moon to set the murdering mood.”