Then Came Alexandra (Southern Love #1) (19 page)

She processed his words, feeling confused. “That makes no fucking sense. Then why does she still live with you? And everyone says you’re together. If you were broken up, your brother would know.”

Blaise ran his fingers through his hair, cursing under his breath. “I can’t tell you why. But we aren’t together anymore. I promise.”

She glared at him. “You promise? Why the fuck would your promise mean anything to me?”

He looked panic. “I know this doesn’t look good. I completely understand why you’re upset. But I swear on my life that I’m not with Danielle, haven’t been with her in months, and she and I are barely friends. She’s only staying with me because she has to.”

She shook her head. “And why does she have to stay there?”

Blaise closed his eyes for a moment. “I can’t tell you…”

“Fuck you, Blaise.”

He grabbed her by the arm. “Please take a leap of faith for me. I can’t tell you why she’s staying with me because I promised I wouldn’t. But nothing has happened between us. I’ve been faithful to you this entire time. You can trust me.”

Alexandra pulled away. She wanted to believe him. She knew Blaise was a good and honest man. It seemed impossible that he was a liar and a cheat. But she had been wrong before. Paul was the perfect guy, but he slept with someone else, when she was at her lowest point. Clearly, she was a horrible judge of character. “Get out of my life, Blaise.”

“No,” he said. “I’ll tell you eventually. Please just trust me for now.”

“Then why didn’t you just tell me to begin with? People only keep secrets if they are ashamed of them.”

He sighed. “I wanted to ask you out the moment I saw you. But I didn’t want to start a relationship when I had all this drama with Danielle, especially when I couldn’t explain it in detail. It would have ended the relationship before it even began. I decided to wait and kept my distance from you. But then it became impossible. You are like a beacon of light to me. I couldn’t stay away from you.”

“Then why didn’t you tell me after we were serious?” She crossed her arms over her chest.

He ran his fingers through his hair. “I wanted to wait until I figured out what to do with Danielle so I could honest with you and tell you everything. I didn’t realize it was going to take so long. I kept putting it off, because the more I fell in love with you, the more scared I became that you would leave me. Then her mom got in a car accident and that fucked everything up.”

“You’re in love with me?”

“I thought that was obvious.”

“No,” she said as she shook her head. “Now it’s impossible.”

“Please don’t say that…”

She wiped her tears. “You’ve been lying to me this entire time. How can I trust anything you say?”

“You can,” he said firmly. “I never lied to you.”

“You were purposely deceitful. And that’s worse than lying. I have even less respect for you now.”

He looked like he had been stabbed. “No…”

“I can’t believe you were living with her this entire time…sleeping together.”

“Nothing ever happened,” he said firmly.

“I can’t believe this…I opened up to you. I told you everything about Paul. That was your window to tell me about Danielle.”

“I know…”

“You know how much I love you, Blaise. I’ve never said it but it’s so obvious. And you broke my heart anyway.”

“Alexandra, I’m sorry.”

She held up her hand. “I can’t be with a cheater. It doesn’t matter how I feel about you. I refuse to be with someone who would do that to me. She shook her head. “Something was going on with Paul. I don’t know exactly what he was doing, but whatever it was, it wasn’t with me. I know what it’s like not to trust your partner, and I know what it’s like to be betrayed. I never want that again.” He took a deep breath and his eyes started to coat with tears. “I can’t do this, Blaise. I never expected to fall for someone so quickly. The love was there the moment we met. That doesn’t happen for me very often. It took me years just to find Paul. But now it’s all a waste, a lie. It’s another heartbreak I’ll have to endure. I keep picking the wrong ones…”

Blaise let his tears fall. “Alexandra, I’m madly in love with you. I’ve haven’t felt this way in…forever. I can’t lose you. I understand why you’re upset. But I promise I never cheated on you. I’m not with Danielle.”

“Then why does everyone think you are? Everything factual contradicts what you say.”

He sighed. “I can’t tell you that either.”

Alexandra felt her heart ache. Now she felt so stupid for falling for him. “And to hear about it from my friends…that just made it worse. Hearing it from you would have been better.”

He sniffed. “I was going to tell you, I swear.”

Her tears cascaded down. She hated hurting him. It was hurting her even more. “You had months, Blaise.”

“I know…I know. Fuck.” He ran his fingers through his hair. “Alexandra, I really love you. I’ve never felt this way about anymore before. And I know I’ll never feel that way again. You’re the one.”

“I know.” She sniffed. “I know.”

“Please don’t throw away something so damn good.”

“You threw it away, Blaise.”

More tears fell.

“It doesn’t matter how much I love you. I don’t trust you. I can’t trust you.”

“You can,” he whispered.”

She turned away. “I’m sorry.”

He grabbed her face and kissed her, his tears splashing onto her face.

She gave into it for a moment. Then she pulled away. “Stop.”

Blaise pressed his forehead to hers. “Please…please. I’ll beg.”

“It won’t change anything.” She stepped away from him but he held her back. “You’re just making this worse.” She sobbed through her words. “I hate hurting you, Blaise. I hate seeing the pain on your face. You’re just making a horrific situation unbearable.”

“Alexandra, I can’t lose you. You’re the best fucking thing that ever happened to me.”

“You’re the best thing that ever happened to me.”

He came close to her. “I love you, Alexandra. My heart and soul are yours.”

“I love you too,” she said through her tears. “But I can’t take them. They no longer belong to me. They belong to Danielle, your real girlfriend.”

Alexandra walked into the house, feeling weak as she climbed up the steps. She felt hollow and empty. The sound of Blaise crying came to her ears, making it a million times more painful. She thought he was the real deal but she had been mistaken. He was just another liar like all the rest.

25

Blaise had more money than he’d ever need, a house to feel safe in, and friends he trusted, but that didn’t matter. Alexandra was everything to him, and now she was gone. After he left Alexandra’s, he drove to the creek, the very field where he took Alexandra. She finally told him everything that happened at the hospital, but he kept his mouth shut. He should have just been honest with her. Now he hated himself more than ever.

When he got home, his workers were moving across the endless expanse of field. The sun was high in the sky but Blaise felt frozen to the bone. He went into his bedroom and tried to fall asleep. He just wanted to get away from the pain he felt. Alexandra was no longer his. It was so hard to accept.

He eventually fell asleep but he couldn’t recall when. When he woke up, he realized he missed his class. But that didn’t matter to him. He was too depressed to take a single note. He sat up and stared at the opposite wall.

Hours went by until he noticed the absence of the sun. His mind was conflicted with emotions. He needed Alexandra but he couldn’t have her. He fucked up and he knew he did. But the idea of losing her was too much. Before the tears bubbled under his eyes, he left the house and drove to her.

Her truck was parked outside so he knew she was home. He came to the front door and knocked.

Aunt Martha opened it. She stared at him with a stoic expression.

“Can I see Alexandra for a moment?” The emotion was in his throat. He tried to keep it back but he couldn’t.

“No.” The disappointment in her voice was unmistakable.

“Please,” he said calmly.

“Blaise, you aren’t welcome here. Get off my property.”

The words stung him. “I love her. I didn’t mean to hurt her.”

“I don’t care what you meant to do.” She closed the door.

Blaise stuck his foot inside so it remained open. “I admit I should have told her the truth from the beginning but I meant well.”

“You lied to me.”

“What? No, I didn’t.”

“You told me you’d tell her the truth. Instead, she found out in an appalling way, and now she’s hysterical with a broken heart. You were still with Danielle like I suspected.”

He sighed. “I know…I want to make it right.”

“You can’t. Now leave.”

“I’m not going anywhere until I talk to her,” he said firmly. “We can work this out.”

She opened the door and stepped toward him, rage on her face. “If I can’t trust your word, how can I trust anything you say? How do I know you weren’t still screwing that girl?”

“Because I wouldn’t do that,” he snapped. “Don’t accuse me of being a cheater. It’s not in my morals or my nature.”

“Blaise, I know how you are. You’re a man that likes to have his line of women. Nothing has changed with you. And you don’t have a single person who can confirm your story, not even Danielle. Admit it. You used Alexandra and cheated on Danielle.”

His eyes widened at the insult. “I’m nothing like I used to be. I loved Alexandra with my whole heart. I want her—only her.”

She didn’t seem convinced. “Don’t bother my niece again.”

Blaise sighed. “You know me, Martha. You know I would never hurt her on purpose.”

Her eyes softened. “Blaise, I’ve always considered you to be my own family. There are many qualities that I admire in you. But Alexandra is my family too. And she isn’t just my niece, she’s a daughter to me. And you know this better than anyone. If you hurt her, you hurt me. I can’t allow you to bother her, make her feel worse than she already does. Please don’t come back to the house unless it’s business related. And even then, a phone call would suffice.”

“Martha, please help me. I’ll treat her right and give her nothing less than what she deserves. Ask her to give me another chance.”

She stepped toward him, her arms across her chest. “Right now, I’m thoroughly disappointed in you. You claim you weren’t betraying Alexandra but there’s no proof to indicate it. Even now that you lost Alexandra, you still won’t explain yourself. But I don’t hate you. But if you continue this behavior, that will change.” She walked back into the house and closed the door.

Blaise gripped his hair, trying to keep calm. He had to get Alexandra back. Losing her would be losing himself. But he didn’t know how to reach her. Now her aunt was a watchdog, not afraid to take him out if she had to.

He walked back to his truck then leaned against the door. When he saw the warehouse in the distance, his heart raced. It was a long shot, but she may be inside. If she wanted to hide from something, that’s where she’d go.

He walked inside then moved to the ladder. When he peered up, he didn’t see any movement. “Alexandra?”

The hay rustled from above.

He climbed up the ladder in a flash and saw her leaning against the wall, her arms crossed over her chest. The bags under her eyes and the frown on her lips broke his heart. Her knees were pulled to her chest, keeping him away. “Hey.” He didn’t know what else to say.

She stared at her shoe.

He moved onto the landing and took a seat a few feet away from her. “How are you?”

“How do you think?” she whispered.

“I hate this.”

“And I hate what you did.” The anger escaped in her voice.

Blaise had never seen her upset like this. It was like she hated him. “I didn’t do anything, Alexandra. I wish you would just believe me.”

“You’ve given me no reason to.”

“It’s called faith. You know me, Alexandra. I’m not a cheat or a liar.”

She ignored his comment. “Why did you have to ruin what we had?” She sighed deeply. “I’ll never forgive you for that.”

“Please don’t say that. I meant well, honestly. My hands are tied behind my back. If I hadn’t made a promise to Danielle, I would spill everything.”

Tears streamed down her face. “You were everything to me and now you’re gone.”

He moved closer to her. “Alexandra, I’m not gone. I’m still here.”

“Stay away from me,” she whispered.

He didn’t come any closer. “Do you love me?”

She stared at him. “That’s a stupid question.”

“If you do, you should put your faith in me. I know you see the good in people. You see my heart and the love I have for you, only you. You don’t seem like the type who doesn’t trust people even when everything is working against them.”

“Because I’m not.”

“What we have is different, Alexandra. It’s beautiful, passionate, real…please don’t throw that away. It was an unfortunate situation. No matter how I handled it, I looked bad. I should have just rejected you from the beginning, but I was scared someone else would sweep you off your feet.”

She grabbed a strand of hair and twirled it in her fingertips. “I don’t even know you, Blaise.”

“What? Of course you do.”

Alexandra shook her head. “No, I don’t. If you weren’t with her, what happened with Danielle?”

His heart weakened. “I told you my hands are tied.”

She glared at him. “I opened up to you and told you everything about me. Now it’s your turn.”

He sighed. “I can’t break my promise to her.”

She fidgeted with her hair. “What’s more important? Her or me?”

“It’s not that simple.”

“Yes, it is.”

Blaise stared at her. “Okay.” He rested his arms on his knees. “I’ve never been in a serious relationship because I preferred to sleep around. I could have any girl I wanted because of my money, my looks, and my…performance.” He looked at her face, seeing her stoic expression. “And I liked it that way. Danielle was no different. She and I had a purely physical relationship. She told me she was on the pill so we didn’t need condoms. Then she said she was pregnant. I was depressed about the situation. I wasn’t ready to get married and have a kid, but the more I thought about my future son or daughter, the more I became excited. And I wanted them to have two parents that were still together. So I decided to try to have a serious relationship with Danielle, but it was disastrous. There was never anything between us. When she had the miscarriage, I wanted to end the relationship, but she didn’t. That’s when I realized she just wanted to suck me into a marriage so she could get her half of my company. It was a stupid mistake, one that I’ll regret forever.”