Their Finest Hour and a Half (26 page)

BOOK: Their Finest Hour and a Half
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‘Yes,' said Arthur, uneasily, ‘though I don't think I'd classify myself as an
expert
.'
‘I'm joining the navy myself.'
‘Are you?'
‘The board's allowed me three months' grace to shoot this and then I'm off. Yo ho, heave ho and all that.' He continued to stare unblinkingly from what seemed far too small a distance. Arthur took half a step backwards.
‘I want you to know that I'm a stickler,' said Hadley, smartly closing the gap. ‘It would cause me real pain if people came out of the cinema and said, “That was all very exciting and thrilling but in actual fact the East Surreys always salute with the
left
hand.”'
‘They don't,' said Arthur, relieved to find something about which he could be certain.
‘Just a light-hearted example, Arthur. I'm not like other actors, you see, I'm not simply concerned with how many lines I have. I'd rather have four honest words than fifty pages of bilge.' The unblinking stare continued; Arthur took another, involuntary, step backwards, and fell over his stool.
‘I want you to promise,' said Hadley, as if nothing had happened, as if Arthur hadn't landed arse over tip and wasn't now groping around in the sand for his spectacles, ‘absolutely to promise that you'll tell me if you see or hear something that doesn't ring completely true. Will you promise me?'
‘Yes of course, I'll do my best. The trouble is . . .'
‘Any detail, however small. Any word of the script that sounds a false note. For instance, we're just about to shoot a scene on the beach where Johnnie and a few others are queueing up to their knees in water. Is that something that you actually experienced, Arthur?'
‘Yes.'
‘And then as the darkness drops over the French coast they start to wade back to the shore and one of the other characters turns to Johnnie and says, bitterly, “Another bloody night on the beach.” Does that sound like the kind of phrase that you might have heard?'
‘Yes,' said Arthur, with some feeling.
‘Good. Very good. Cigarette?'
‘No thank you.' The light was beginning to fade. Arthur gave his spectacles a polish, and watched as a man unwound a spool of cable across the dunes, past the remaining spectators, and along the beach towards an enormous lamp a few yards from the water's edge. A corporal was sitting on a canvas stool in the middle of the sand with a towel round his shoulders, while the barber snipped at his hairline. The two young lady actresses were performing leg exercises, using the breakwater as a barre.
‘The trouble is,' said Arthur to Hadley, ‘that this is all very new to me. I hadn't at all realized how much trickery was involved.'
‘Trickery?'
‘Well . . . glass-shots, for instance. If you can add boats to a scene, then I suppose you can add all sorts of things that I don't know about. And noises being put on afterwards, and so on. And someone was telling me that anything white, like the side of the boat, has to be dirtied down because otherwise it's too bright to photograph, so I suppose that the reason that actual dirt isn't being put on things that should really be dirty is because it won't show up. Is that correct?'
‘You've lost me,' said Hadley. ‘What things that should really be dirty?'
‘Well . . .' Arthur eyed him critically. Apart from a light, almost artistic, spatter of mud across the breast pocket, and a small area of scuffing on the left knee (the latter looking as if a pumice stone had been passed gently over the serge), Hadley's uniform was completely pristine.
‘You mean this should be dirtier?' asked Hadley, following his gaze.
‘Dirtier, and also . . .' He fished for an adequate phrase, thinking of the scarecrow army that had arrived at Dover, undershirts used as bandages, jackets as pillows and stretchers, trousers striped with salty tide-marks from successive queueing in the surf. ‘. . . more weathered.'
‘
Weathered
,' repeated Hadley, appreciatively. ‘That's an excellent note, I shall pass it on straight away. I gather the director's keen on a real-life sort of look. Anything else?'
‘Yes,' said Arthur, warming to his role. ‘Your uniform fits much too well. Most of them are too long in the arm – like mine, d'you see? – or too short in the leg, or simply far too big.'
Hadley nodded, but with noticeably less enthusiasm.
‘Honestly,' said Arthur, ‘I'd say that that was as important as the weathering. Our sergeant-major said we looked like a bunch of hunchbacks after we were kitted up for the first time.'
‘Mmm,' said Hadley, turning away.
‘We were known as the baboon platoon,' called Arthur, but Hadley was clearly already out of earshot.
*
Before going to Norfolk, Buckley had given Catrin a typed list of instructions:
i) Do not attempt to tidy my desk. Any attempt at tidying my desk will result in immediate dismissal
.
ii) Check Parfitt for signs of life. Repeat at half-hourly intervals. Homework
:
i) Ask Muriel in Baker's office to dig out scripts of
Any Day but Today, Holiday in the Rain, Simpkins and Son, The Long, Long Wait
and
The Ladder Gang
. Read, mark and inwardly digest. Note clever flashback structure in
The Long, Long Wait.
That's the way to do it. Not that I got any credit, of course, since reviewers think that films are invented by the director as he goes along.
ii) For Christ's sake go and see some American films. Your idea of the way Americans talk appears to be based on Louisa May Alcott.
iii) The director's informed me that the propeller-fouling scene (studio) has too much dialogue and not enough tension. I don't agree, but better we do the rewrites than he does. You may as well have a stab at it. Don't cut any gags
.
iv) Go and sweet-talk Mr Shipton in accounts. Since Parfitt won't travel (think of him as a crate of fine wine, the sediment of which needs to remain undisturbed), you might be able to squeeze a return train-fare and a couple of nights out of the production. Come and see why films should always be shot entirely in studio.
v) Don't stand underneath any thousand-pounders
.
Parfitt had been left no such list, and without Buckley's gadfly presence he seemed to sink into torpor, dozing for most of the morning, chin on chest, and staring out of the window with his arms folded for most of the afternoon. Catrin wanted to ask him why he didn't just go home, but she felt oddly constrained; she realized that she'd scarcely ever spoken to him directly – all communication had been via Buckley, as if the latter were the string between two cocoa tins.
Rather than ask Parfitt questions, then, she offered an occasional commentary on what she'd been doing, in the hope of gaining some response.
‘I went to see
Men Against the Sky
last night, it's about a drunken test pilot. They talk so fast, Americans, I kept thinking that we ought to give our American a bit more to say otherwise we'll end up ten minutes short.'
‘Any good?' asked Parfitt, after a pause of several seconds.
‘You mean the picture?'
‘Yep.'
‘Not bad. I could see the ending a mile away, though.'
‘Flagged.'
‘Sorry?'
‘Flagged the ending. That's what we say. They flagged the ending.'
‘Oh I see . . .'
That was one entire afternoon's conversation. On other days, she managed to extract Parfitt's opinion on the director (‘picky'), the war (‘lost unless we get the Russians in'), and Buckley (‘best in the business'), as well as his suggestions for the propeller scene, which mainly seemed to involve cutting most of Rose and Lily's dialogue. She had the feeling that Parfitt didn't have much time for women.
By the second week of Buckley's absence, she had read a bundle of scripts, sat through nine examples of whip-crack American dialogue, obtained a travel chit from a grudging accounts department, and lopped two and a half pages from the scene in question. She handed it to Parfitt late one afternoon and he read it slowly, hunched over the desk, the breath whistling through his nostrils.
The ‘Redoubtable' has started to drift.
HANNIGAN
(making his way along the deck) Hey, there – what's happening? Has the engine stopped?
UNCLE FRANK
(leaning over gunwale, trying to take a look) Ruddy propeller's fouled.
HANNIGAN
Can I help?
UNCLE FRANK
Know what a twin gasket screw valve is?
HANNIGAN
Can't say that I do.
UNCLE FRANK
You've just answered your own question.
Uncle Frank almost loses his balance. Hannigan grabs his belt.
HANNIGAN
Steady there, old timer.
LILY
(calling from wheel) What's happening, Uncle Frank?
HANNIGAN
Propeller's fouled.
UNCLE FRANK
Oh and you're the expert now, are you? Typical Yank.
Hannigan is about to reply when he and Uncle Frank hear a noise. They look up. It's a Stuka. It crosses overhead.
The bows. The deck is packed with weary, anxious soldiers. ROSE is kneeling beside JOHNNIE, bandaging his arm. The DOG is watching intently.
JOHNNIE
(in pain) What the hell's going on with the engine?
ROSE
I don't know.
The Stuka crosses again, lower this time.
JOHNNIE
(starting to get up) He's eyeing us up, making sure we've got no defences. We're sitting ducks unless we can get going again.
ROSE
(pushing him down again) You stay right where you are.
She picks her way along the crowded deck towards the stern. UNCLE FRANK has tied a bowline around himself and is climbing over the gunwale. HANNIGAN holds the other end.
ROSE
What's happening?
HANNIGAN UNCLE & FRANK
(simultaneously) Propeller's fouled. (They glare at each other.)
UNCLE FRANK starts to lower himself into the water. It's cold. He steadies himself on the propeller shaft, takes a breath and ducks under water. After a few seconds, he bobs up again, gasping.
UNCLE FRANK
It's a bloody great tangle. Webbing or some such – I'm going to need a knife.
ROSE
I'll find one.
HANNIGAN
I've got one.
HANNIGAN reaches down and takes a knife from his boot – the same knife that he took from the German shot by Johnnie in the scene with the Belgian refugees. HANNIGAN looks at the blade for a moment.
HANNIGAN
(to himself) About time it did some good.
He leans over the gunwale and hands it to UNCLE FRANK, who takes it and ducks under the water again.
– if possible we see UNCLE FRANK – or at least the knife – under the water, hacking at the tangled webbing.
SEQUENCE:
The stern, where ROSE and HANNIGAN are watching anxiously.
Point of view of the Stuka pilot – tiny boat on sea beneath.
UNCLE FRANK hacking away at the webbing. The Stuka starts to dive.
Point of view of the Stuka pilot – diving towards tiny boat.
The bows. Everyone on deck looking up as they hear the screaming dive. Bullets rat-tat-tat.
A line of bullet holes appears beside the propeller shaft. Everyone on deck ducks down.
The DOG jumps up on the cabin roof and barks loudly. The Stuka wheels away.
A SCOTTISH SOLDIER in a kilt shakes his fist at the sky.
SCOTCHMAN
Missed us all, ye boss-eyed Nazi!
HANNIGAN has been gazing skyward, but now he looks down and sees bubbles coming from the water. His smile fades.
HANNIGAN
Hey! Hey there!
He pulls on the rope, and UNCLE FRANK comes to the surface, alive but wounded.
ROSE
Quick! Let me take that!
ROSE grabs the rope from HANNIGAN, and he climbs into the water and supports UNCLE FRANK. Soldiers crowd around the rail.
UNCLE FRANK
I've dropped the knife.
HANNIGAN
You've done a fine job, old timer.
UNCLE FRANK
But I've not finished yet.
HANNIGAN
You'll just have to leave it to me.

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