Their Christmas Vows (5 page)

She had always found it difficult to trust, to rope herself to another person. The one time in her life she had tried it, taking a chance on Ed at his most charming and marrying him, she had been betrayed soon afterwards. He had shown her what a mistake it was to trust anyone but herself. It wouldn't happen again. She planned never to let anyone else get close to her again. It hurt too much.

She would never forget the things Ed had said to her at the end. The whole marriage experience had been a disappointment as his charm had been only surface-deep. Unlike his lies and deception. But those had only been revealed once the problems had begun.

She never should have married him-she had no idea now why she had done so. Only that she had felt an overwhelming need to belong, to have a family. It hadn't happened. Now it never would.

`It's not working between us, Callie. It never has.

Sex with you is boring. You were always plain and ordinary, and you never let go, but now you're not a complete woman any more any desire I once had has died. l've met someone else-someone sexy and feminine. I'm leaving you to be with her.'

Callie had been furious, and so hurt. Ed had caught at her lowest ebb, still recovering from surgery, still scared of the outcome and long-term prognosis. The time she'd really needed someone, the first time she had ever allowed herself to trust anyone, and she been let down in the most cruel and savage way. But she had learned the lesson. Never again would she depend on anyone but herself. Never again would she grant her trust and risk her body or her heart.

Frazer would be no different from Ed. No man would. She blocked her mind to the rest of Ed's deception, the other major, unforgivable thing she had only found out as he had left her. Soon the divorce would come through and she would be finished with that painful, horrible episode for good. Here in Strathlochan she hoped to make a new life...but one without a man.

The passenger door of the vehicle swung open and she gasped in surprise, having been so lost in her thoughts she hadn't seen Frazer walking towards her from the direction of A and E.

`Callie, how are you?' he demanded, the interior light revealing the concern on his face.

`I'm fine.' She pulled herself together, hiding both her mental anguish and her physical discomfort. `What's the news on Paul?

Frazer ran the lingers of one hand through the springy thickness of his hair, looking disconcerted at her change of subject. `They've stabilised him and he's going up to the operating theatre now.'

`I hope he'll be OK.'

`Me, too. I'll call later for an update. Want me to drive back?' he asked, hesitating at the passenger side.

`Not at all.' Ignoring the ache across her ribs, she started the engine. `Shut the door. You're letting in the cold.'

The short journey was completed in an uncomfortable silence, and, feeling Frazer's intense gaze upon her, Callie was glad of the protection the darkness gave her. Back at base she was quick to escape, thankful when Frazer was waylaid by one of the technicians. She planned to complete her tasks and make her way home as quickly as possible. She would have a hot bath and take some painkillers. Hopefully her side wouldn't stiffen up and she would be all right to work her next shift in three days' time. No way was she going to show any weakness.

* * *

Paperwork complete, the shift nearing its end, Frazer went in search of Callie, well aware she had been avoiding him. With Hamish at his heels, he tried the crew room, the supply room, the two small dorms and the office without success. Knowing she wouldn't be in the gym, that just left the locker room, and the fact it was ladies only wasn't going to stop him.

The door was ajar. He peeped inside, his concern increasing as he saw Callie sitting on the bench, bent forward and clutching her side. Emotion welled inside him at her determination to keep herself apart, to pretend she was tough and didn't need anyone. Stepping inside with Hamish, he quietly closed the door and walked across, squatting down in front of her.

`Callie?'

He watched as she jerked upright, wincing at the pain, a startled moan escaping her, a thread of fear in her eyes before she masked it. `What are you doing in here?'

`Checking on you.' He remained calm, realising her first instinct was to attack, as if it was some kind of defence mechanism. `You're more hurt than you are letting on.'

`I'm fine.'

`You're lying, Callie. But for some reason you'd rather keep people at a distance than ever accept any help or friendship.'

He could tell his words hit home. A dark shadow clouded her eyes, turning them a deep purple, before she shrugged and turned her face away, making him even more certain she was hiding much more than the injury she had received that night. And he was even more determined that he was going to uncover her mysteries. He shouldn't be thinking about a married woman. It wasn't his style. He'd never poached on another man's territory, had never wanted to. What was it about Callie that gave him no peace and drew him in against his will? But he couldn't think about his disturbing reaction to her now. He had more important matters to attend to, and had to treat her like a friend and colleague.

She stiffened as he took one of her hands in his, her breathing short and raspy as she tried to avoid pain. `Callie, you need to let me take a look at you.

`Absolutely not!'

'Don't be silly. I'm a doctor, and you-'

She batted his hands away and rose unsteadily her feet, putting distance between them before repeating her mantra. `I'm fine.'

`We both know that isn't true.' A frown creased brow as she continued to retreat from him. He back on his heels, watching her, puzzled at the intensity of her response, the real fear she couldn't hide. `What's going on?'

`Nothing. I just don't need your help.'

`You can't ignore this, Callie. Either you let me examine you or...'

Panic danced across her face like a living thing. `Or what?'

'Or I take you to the hospital to be checked out there.'

`Fine. I'11 go to the hospital.' She glared at him, a stubborn set to her chin, making him want to smile despite his worry and annoyance. `But I can go by myself. I don't need you.'

Unexpected hurt twisted inside him at her determined rejection. `Tough. That's the deal, Callie. Take or leave it,' he insisted, hardening his heart and doing what he knew was best for her.

Clearly furious, she collected her things from her locker, banging the door shut, refusing his offer of help. Sighing, he followed as she stalked outside, deftly snagging her car keys from her and steering her across to his own four-by-four. No way was he letting drive again today.

`We'll take my car.'

Conscious of the slippery ground, not wanting any more accidents, he kept a careful hold on her left arm, watching with impatience as she shrugged off his help and awkwardly levered herself into the vehicle, clearly uncomfortable. Not that she would admit that to him or anyone else, he was sure. Exasperating woman. With Hamish safely installed in the back, Frazer slipped behind the wheel and headed away from the base. He could literally feel her tension, feel her nervousness growing the closer they came to the hospital. Why? Was she worried she had done more damage than she wanted to admit? Or was there some other reason for her anxiety? He regretted the lateness of the December dawn, the current darkness preventing him from reading her expression. But one way or another, with or without her co-operation, he was going to ensure she was safe and taken care of.

By the time Frazer pulled into a parking space near the casualty department Callie was literally shaking. It was stupid. She came here every day for work and it never bothered her, but the underlying fear that haunted her when she was a patient was back with a vengeance. She really didn't want to be examined. The only reason she would go through with it was because it was preferable to having Frazer see her, touch her, even in a professional capacity She could imagine his reaction. Uncharacteristic tears pricked her eyes but she fought them away Aware Frazer was looking at her with concern, she slipped out of the vehicle unaided and headed towards the entrance, frowning at him as he followed.

`You don't have to stay.'

`Of course I'm staying,' he refuted with infuriating calrn, taking control of the situation, his hand resting at the small of her back as he steered her towards the reception desk.

`I can manage.'

`Today you don't have to. Get used to it.'

She couldn't get used to it. All her life she had been alone, fending for herself. No way was Dr High-and-Mighty going to ride roughshod over her wants and needs. Thankfully, while he was talking to a nurse, Callie spotted Annie Webster coming out of a cubicle nearby. She slipped away from Frazer and went to meet her friend.

`Callie! Hi, I-' Blue eyes darkened with concern Annie's smile faded. `What's happened?'

'I hurt myself at work. Frazer insists I get checked but it's nothing.'

Annie drew her into a vacant cubicle and closed the curtain. `If Frazer thinks it should be looked at, I'm with him.'

`Great :

'Cut the sarcasm, Tough Girl. I see right through it.' Annie's smile was back, kind and concerned. `I'll go and get Frazer.'

No!' Panicked, Callie grabbed her arm.

Annie hesitated, scanning her face. `OK. Want to me what's going on?'

`Nothing.' Callie sucked in a ragged breath, wincing at the pain. `Annie, please. If I have to do this at all, I don't want to see anyone but you.' She paused, hating her weakness. `If you don't mind.'

`Of course I don't mind, Callie... Look, let me get the chart, and then we'll have a chat and a look-see-all right?'

Anxious, scared, Callie nodded. 'Don't let Frazer come in, Annie. Promise me.'

`Sure.' Her friend sent her a curious and worried smile. `If that's what you want.'

Hearing Frazer's voice as Annie ducked out of the curtain, Callie froze.

`Annie. I'm looking for Callie. One minute she was by my side, the next-'

`She's fine,' her friend interrupted. m with her now, Frazer. You go and wait in Reception.'

`I need to see her. I didn't know the details to put clown for next of khi.

Callie smothered a groan of despair.

`She doesn't have any next of kin,' Annie responded. `Of course she does! What about her husband, for goodness' sake?'

`No, that isn't right. He's not-'

Thankfully Annie's voice snapped off, and Callie held her breath, waiting to hear what happened next.

`He's not what?' Frazer demanded, sounding thwarted and frustrated.

`Nothing. I'll see to everything. Leave it with me,' Annie reassured him, and Callie released her breath in a painful rush.

It seemed Frazer wasn't about to let it go. `But—'

`This way,' Annie urged, and Callie had to smile, wishing she could see the expression on Frazer's face. `You can talk to Callie when I've finished and not before.'

`But-'

The renewed protest died and Callie heard their footsteps retreating. Thank goodness. She had a few moments' reprieve before Annie was back again.

`Frazer's really worried about you,' she commented, closing the curtain.

`It's his job.'

Annie shook her head. `He cares about you, Callie.'

`Nonsense.' It was something she didn't want to consider. She had enough trouble trying to ignore her own confused and growing feelings for him, knowing they could never come to anything. She really didn't want him interested in her. 'I'm just a work colleague.'

`Is that why you haven't told him about your marriage being over?'

'It's no one's business,' she muttered, warmth heating her cheeks.

Annie paused a moment, her gaze considering. Whether or not she read something of her desperation, Callie was relieved when she let the subject drop. For now. `All right, let's see what we can do for you, shall we? Take a look at that side? Can we lose the clothes?'

Sitting on the bed, Callie undid her flight suit and peeled it down to her waist. Her fingers shook as she then took off the jumper and T-shirt she wore beneath, hesitating further as she came to her adapted bra. She couldn't do it.

Annie glanced across and smiled. `Need some help?' Callie shook her head, stupid tears threatening again. She closed her eyes against them.

`Callie?'

Biting her lip, ignoring the pain in her side, she reached to unhook her bra and slowly slid the straps off her shoulders, unable to look at Annie as the garment dropped away. She heard her friend's sharp intake of breath and waited for the inevitable rejection, the revulsion when Annie saw what remained of her right breast.

CHAPTER FOUR

CALLIE was amazed when Annie stepped forward and enveloped her in a hug. `Oh, God! Callie.'

She'd never been hugged before, had never had a friend or someone who cared about her. Not even Ed. A sob escaped. She tried to choke it back but she couldn't. Tears squeezed between her lashes and trickled down her cheeks. She never cried. Annie's arms tightened as she held her, and when she finally stepped back a pace to look at her, Callie was stunned to see answering tears on her friend's face.