The Year We Turned Forty (6 page)

Gabriela offered Jessie a warm smile to disguise the sting she felt, wondering if Jessie was always going to keep her at arm's length, never letting her all the way back in, but also knowing she only had herself to blame for pulling away so abruptly after Lucas was born. They'd never gotten fully back on track after that; there'd always been a gap between them no matter how hard Gabriela worked to fill it.

“So what are we doing tonight?” Claire asked as she kicked her bare feet up on the coffee table, her freshly painted red toenails shining under the light.

Gabriela rifled through her handbag and pulled out three rectangular slips of paper. “My agent sent these tickets over. Any interest?”

Jessie swiped them out of Gabriela's hand. “Blair Wainright!”

“You like him?” Gabriela smiled, surprised.

“Did you ever see any of his live television specials? He would levitate!” She clapped her hands together, ignoring Claire's eye roll.

“So you are voting yes, then?” Gabriela said as Jessie bobbed her head up and down. “Claire?”

Claire didn't want to go. She imagined them spending her birthday having a nice dinner, maybe going out to gamble after, not watching some celebrity magician.

But as she saw the light turn on in Jessie's eyes, she knew there was no way she was going to let her friend down. “Why not?” Claire forced a smile that turned sincere when she saw the delight reflected in Jessie's face.

Gabriela uncorked another bottle of bubbly. “My agent told me his ‘people' sent these to me.”

“How would he know you would be here?” Claire asked. “Isn't that sort of creepy? Even for a guy that levitates?” She smirked at Jessie and put her hands under her legs, pretending to lift her.

“Oh, who knows,” Gabriela said dismissively. “We probably share a publicist or a manager or something. And for what it's worth, we're in the front row!”

“Woo-hoo,” Claire mock-cheered.

Jessie laughed. “Don't be such a skeptic!” She pointed at Claire's champagne flute. “Just keep sipping on that. It will make everything seem fuzzy and magical.”

Claire obliged, taking a drink, swiping a copy of
Las Vegas
magazine off the table with Blair's face on the cover, trying to ignore the way his onyx eyes seemed to see right through her.

•  •  •

Two hours later, the lights dimmed and Blair took command of the stage, levitating several feet into the air, the crowd's cheers almost deafening. He flung himself from trick to trick, pushing a cigarette through a coin, escaping a seemingly secure coffin, and reading the minds of several people in the audience. The theater erupted in applause as the curtain closed, and Gabriela
had to admit, whether it was real or not, it had certainly been entertaining. She looked over at Claire, who was barely clapping, and Jessie, who was participating in the standing ovation, and smiled. Despite their difference of opinion about magic, she was glad they were all here together. She'd missed her friends.

A large man in a dark suit told them Blair would like to meet them backstage, then herded the three women into his dressing room. Gabriela scanned the ruby-red walls adorned with pictures of Blair with politicians, A-list movie stars, even Oprah. Several life-size wax statues of Blair were scattered throughout the room. As a famous author, Gabriela had met her fair share of egomaniacs—she'd even been accused of being one herself the other day on Twitter—but she quickly decided that Blair might just be in a league of his own.

Jessie perched on the edge of a butter-yellow leather couch while they waited for Blair. Unlike Gabriela, who was scrolling through her phone as if she were in the waiting room before a dentist appointment, Jessie had never met someone famous, unless she counted the time she literally
ran into
Cameron Diaz while getting into an elevator at Cedars-Sinai, spilling the contents of her purse all over the floor, looking up sheepishly as she grabbed for the tampon that had rolled away from the rest of her things.

Jessie turned to Claire. “So, what'd you think of the show?”

“Magical,” she said sarcastically.

“You
still
don't believe?” Jessie asked, incredulous. “Did you not see what he did with that bird?”

“Sorry, Jess, I'm still not a Blair believer,” Claire said.

“It's too bad I wasn't able to convert you.”

All three women startled at the sound of Blair's voice, following it to the center of the room, where he stood.

Blair walked over and took Gabriela's hand, kissing it softly. “Thank you for coming, Gabriela. And you must be Jessie. And Claire.”

Claire offered a nod, while Jessie smiled, her cheeks flushing.

“So, you're a fan of Gabriela's books?” Claire asked, and Jessie recognized her
you are full of bullshit
look that she usually only reserved for street-fair psychics and men who wore skinny jeans. “Because you don't really strike me as the kind of guy who lies by the pool with his nose buried in a novel about women and friendship.”

Blair laughed. “You'd be right about that. I'm more of a John Grisham guy,” he said unapologetically. “I'm afraid I haven't read any of your books, Gabriela. But my mom and my sister swear by you. Please, sit down, so I can explain why I wanted to meet you.” Blair motioned to the couch. “Did you know the heavens gifted us with a solar eclipse tonight?”

Claire pressed her lips together and looked at Gabriela, who shrugged her shoulders. “No?” Jessie finally answered.

“Well, each time one appears, I'm given a special power. And I've chosen to share it with you.”

“Isn't a solar eclipse considered a bad omen?” Gabriela asked.

“There are a lot of people who think because the sun disappears and the sky becomes ominous, that they are a bad sign, but they are actually quite magical. Sometimes things aren't always as they seem, Gabriela,” he added pointedly. “But I think you already know that.” Suddenly, Gabriela pictured her grandmother's face. Was he referring to her
abuela
?

Gabriela remembered how her grandmother would bring out her crystals and tell Gabriela stories about her childhood in Argentina, where they used the elements of the earth to heal their wounds—both the ones they could see and the ones they kept
buried inside their souls. Gabriela's mother would walk by and roll her eyes, telling her mom in Spanish to stop filling Gabriela's head with nonsense. But her
abuela
would grab Gabriela's small hand with her own and whisper, “
Recuerde siempre, las cosas no siempre son lo que parecen
.”

Remember, things are not always as they seem.

Claire jumped in. “So what does this eclipse and the supposed power that comes along with it have to do with us?”

“I'm aware you're all here celebrating your fiftieth birthday. Although I must say, none of you look a day over forty-two, forty-three, tops.”

“Gee, thanks.” Claire shook her head. “So is that it? You want to use this
gift
to save us from getting older? That doesn't take magic. Just a good plastic surgeon.”

“No. Aging is the most natural and beautiful thing in the world,” Blair said as Claire stared at a framed picture of his barely legal wife posing on the cover of
Las Vegas
magazine. “This isn't about your age,
now.
It's about the year you all turned forty.” Blair paused, and the women looked at each other as if to ask what he could possibly know about
that
year.

“What about it?” Gabriela spoke first.

“What if I could send you back there? To 2005?”

“Are you really suggesting you have the ability to make us time travel?” Claire folded her arms across her chest, trying to ignore the nagging feeling in her stomach.

Blaire nodded.

“If you really had that power, wouldn't
that
be what your show was about?” Gabriela asked, trying to steady her pounding heart as she and the other women gave him their best poker faces, none of them wanting to reveal that he was spot-on, that if they could go back in time, it would probably be to that year,
when they'd each made choices that altered the course of their lives. Choices that had been weighing heavily on them ever since.

“It's not that simple. I can only use this gift each time a solar eclipse appears, every 177 days. But if you're not interested in this opportunity, we can agree to end this conversation right now and I'll suggest a hip new nightclub where you can spend the rest of the evening. There are a lot of really cute
young
guys there too.” Blair gave them a knowing look as he walked to the door and started to open it.

Gabriela thought back to the bellhop. Could it be possible Blair was referring to him? What else did he know about them? Gabriela considered the baby she never had. Jessie's mind flashed to her one-night stand and the end of her marriage. Claire thought of her mother and clutched the edge of the soft leather couch in an attempt to squeeze the thought away, focusing instead on her daughter, Emily. 2005 had been the year when Claire had really started to lose her—when their relationship had begun to unravel like a loose thread on a sweater.

“Wait,” Jessie finally said, standing up quickly. “I would go back in a heartbeat.” She thought of Grant. She wouldn't be able to take back what she did, but maybe she could convince him to stay?

Blair released his hand from the doorknob. “Okay. We have one taker. Claire?”

“No way,” Claire scoffed, and looked at Gabriela for support, surprised when she wouldn't meet her gaze.

Gabriela thought about Colin. There had been so much gut-wrenching pain after he said he didn't want children. It had taken her so long to get over it. And even with ten years of experiences, maybe she somehow would be able to come up with
the right words to convince him to have a baby the second time around.

“Why not, Claire?” Jessie frowned. “If we have a chance to make better choices, how could it hurt?”

Claire chose her words carefully. “Do I wish I had made some different decisions? Sure. And there are things I regret.” Claire paused, meeting Gabriela's knowing look.
Many things.
“But, honestly, my life is finally where I want it to be. I'm getting married. Emily and I are in a good place. Why would I go back?”

“How about for me?” Jessie chewed on her lower lip.

“And me.” Gabriela surprised herself. She hadn't meant to say what she'd been thinking. Or had she?

“You guys really want this?” Claire felt a pinch in her gut as they both nodded vigorously.

“What about your mom? Don't you want to see her?” Gabriela asked Claire gently. Claire felt her chest constrict. She was sure Gabriela would do anything for the chance to see her own mother again.

Memories piled on top of each other in Claire's mind. But with each thought, she felt only pain. She couldn't go through that again.

“Claire.” Jessie said her name softly. “If you aren't sure, then stay. Gab and I will go.”

“Actually, it doesn't work that way,” Blair interjected. “If you don't all agree, then none of you can go.”

“Why?” Jessie asked.

“This is a journey that must be taken, and
completed
, together,” Blair offered, then added quickly, “And if you do all make the choice to go back, you'll have exactly one year—until midnight on Claire's forty-first birthday.”

“And then what?” Gabriela asked.

“You'll have to decide if you want to stay and live the new life you've created.”

“And what if one of us wants to stay but the others don't?” Jessie asked, already knowing the answer.

“You all have to choose to stay or I'll see you right back here again—in June 2015.”

“Please, Claire,” Jessie pleaded. “Think about the things we could change not just in our lives but in the world. Imagine all the disasters we can prevent.”

“I have to stop you there,” Blair said gently. “Unfortunately, that won't be possible. You won't have the power to make major changes to the course of history. Just your own.” He glanced at Claire. “And of course, the people closest to you. Your choices will impact their lives too.”

“Oh,” Jessie said, frowning at Claire.

“And one more thing,” Blair said.

“There's more?” Claire rolled her eyes.

“You can't use this ability to time travel for easy money.”

“So I shouldn't run out and buy a ton of Apple stock?”

Blair shook his head. “Nope. And no lotteries or betting on sporting events either.”

“Well that's no fun!”

“That's not the point anyway. Right, Claire?” Jessie said.

Claire sighed. She always had such a hard time saying no, especially to Jessie. But there had to be a
limit
of things she was willing to do for
other people's
happiness.

Blair's eyes bored into hers. “You are right, there is a limit. But maybe you need to go back to realize what that is.”

Claire felt an electric current run down her arms and out through her fingertips. How had he known what she'd been thinking?

“So there's only one way to find out if this is real. Say yes,” Blair said.

Gabriela took a deep breath. “I'll go.”

“Me too,” Jessie said, forcing the negative what-ifs from her mind, deciding to focus on the positive one.
What if
she could convince Grant to forgive her?

Claire looked at her friends. She had to admit her resolve was falling away, now that Blair answered the question she hadn't even asked out loud. She focused on her engagement ring. There was a chance she wouldn't meet Jared again. But she had no way of knowing that for sure. She might not repair her relationship with Emily this time. But what if she handled it differently, so that it never broke apart in the first place? And there was her mom. What if Claire could change
her
fate? And at the end of the year, she could be the holdout, the one who made them come back here. She looked at Jessie, who'd been her very best friend for three decades. She'd seen the remorse about what she had done with Peter eat her alive for years. And she knew that Gabriela, despite her career success, carried regret around with her like an extra limb. So she decided to do what she did best. Sacrifice. “Okay. I'll do it for you guys. Isn't that what friends are for?” she heard herself say, and squeezed Jessie's and Gabriele's hands tight.