The Wreck (10 page)

The story was well known, but Brian
hadn’t seen the pain before.

“You’re a good kid, Brian, and a damned
fine prosecutor. I don’t want you to end up old and alone like me.” He stood.
“So no new cases until you take a vacation.”

“But—”

“Two weeks. Not one minute in this
office—and I have spies who
will
report to me if you show your face.
They may like you better, but I’m the boss.” On his way out the door, he added,
“The two weeks start when you leave today.”

After Saul had walked away, Brian sat
back and fumed.
What the hell am I going to do for two weeks if I can’t
work?
The idea of filling all that time—and having all that time to
think—left him feeling panicked.

Reaching for the reunion flyer, he read
it again. The longings had been striking at odd times lately, like in the
middle of a trial that had taken over his life the way nothing else ever had.
Maybe it was the anniversary of the accident causing the melancholy. Whatever
it was, it was starting to get on his nerves. He crumpled up the flyer and
tossed it into the trash.

At the bottom of the second pile, he
unearthed a crushed Chinese food carton. “Ugh,” he muttered, grossed out by the
smell as he pushed it into the bag. Stuck to the desk calendar under the carton
was the business card of the psychologist who had worked with the Gooding
children to prepare them to testify against their father. The younger of the
two kids, Christian, had been just five years old when he watched his father
stab the life out of his mother.

Brian pried the card free of the paper
calendar. Thomas Pellingrino, Ph.D., specialized in children who’d been
traumatized by abuse, neglect, and violence. He had worked miracles with
Christian Gooding, who’d been transformed from an uncommunicative child to an
articulate witness under Dr. Pellingrino’s care. As Brian held the card in his
hand, he wondered—and not for the first time—if Dr. Pellingrino might be able
to help Carly.

Carly
.

He didn’t think about her every day
anymore. To function properly in a job that required his complete attention, he
simply couldn’t allow thoughts of her to occupy his mind. While other memories
from that time in his life had faded somewhat, he remembered her with a
vividness that was almost disturbing. Her scent, the way her curls had wrapped
around his fingers, the smoothness of her skin, her laughter, those soft brown
eyes that could hide nothing from him, and the connection he’d spent half a
lifetime looking for in others but had never found again. Oh yes, he remembered
her.

He went out of his way not to ask his
parents about her, so he had no idea what her life was like today. Even as he
told himself he didn’t want to know, he knew he was lying. He wanted to know
everything, and that desire to know had been growing stronger over the last few
months.
Why now?
After all these years, why has the longing set in
now?

Tossing Dr. Pellingrino’s business card
into the drawer that served as his Rolodex, Brian stood and went over to the
credenza. He picked up the picture of Sam on the rope swing at the lake. Taken
in by his brother’s laughing face, Brian wondered if anyone ever thought as
they smiled for a photograph that someday a particular instant caught on film
would be all that was left of them. Between the picture of Sam and the one of
Brian with his parents at his law school graduation was the group photo from
the junior prom. Putting Sam down, he picked up the other one and studied it
for a long time, for once giving himself permission to remember, to feel, to
wish, and to regret.

For the first time in years, he slid the
back off the frame and removed a second picture, the one he had hidden under
the group shot. These two and the picture of Sam were the only photos he had
taken with him when he left home. Brian’s arms were around Carly from behind.
Her hands rested on his, the corsage he had given her decorated her wrist, and
her auburn curls fell over shoulders left bare by a peach dress. Her pleased,
contented smile said there was nowhere in the world she’d rather be than in his
arms.

He missed her. The feeling came over him like
a tidal wave, leaving him stupid and weak with need. Yesterday, in the
courtroom, when the jury foreman had said the word he had waited months to
hear—
guilty
—the first person he’d wanted to tell was Carly. He had tried
hundreds of cases and heard that word many, many times before, but this was the
first time he had wanted—no,
needed
—to share it with her.
Why? Why
now?

It’s got to be the anniversary of the
accident
, he reasoned,
taking a long last look at the picture before he returned it to its hiding place
and put the frame back together.
There’ve been fifteen anniversaries. Why
should this one be so different?
He couldn’t answer that question nor could
he explain the sudden overwhelming yearning for what used to be.

He pulled his wallet from his pocket. As
he eased the piece of paper from the compartment where he kept it, he told
himself that doing this—especially in his current state of mind—was a mistake.
The vellum had grown soft with age, the folds sharp and pronounced. He opened
it carefully, afraid not just of what it said but what it still had the power
to make him feel.
Every dream I’ve ever had begins and ends with you. No
matter how much time passes, if you want to come home, I’ll be here. I love you
always. Only you.
Her voice, her essence filled him so completely it was as
if he had last seen her only five minutes ago.

“Pointless,” he said out loud as he put
the paper away. “This is pointless.” As he returned the wallet to his back
pocket, he vowed to carry on as he had for fifteen years and to keep the past
where it belonged. His determination to move forward, to continue putting one
foot in front of the other, had gotten him this far, and it couldn’t fail him
now.

Like a man on a mission, he quickly
disposed of the third stack of paper. He wrote checks for the overdue bills and
dug around in his top drawer until he found some stamps. It took another hour
to go through his e-mail. When there was nothing left to clean, he collected
the huge assortment of discarded clothes that were piled on the sofa where he
had spent many a recent night, jammed them into his gym bag, and set the posted
bills with the bag by the door.

Returning to his desk, he picked up his
cell phone and was almost surprised to find he still had service after not
paying the bill in months. “Hi, Mom,” he said when she answered.

“Hey! This is a surprise. Twice in two
days?”

“Don’t get used to it,” he joked.

“All my friends down here are buzzing
about you being on TV.”

“I did a phone interview with MSNBC
earlier. That might be on by now.”

“I’ll watch for it. Did you get some
sleep last night?”

“Not much. I was still kind of keyed up.”

“That’s a big high to come down from.”

“No kidding. Listen, Mom, I was
wondering…”

“What, honey?”

“Do you think I could come see you for a
week or so? Saul is kicking me out.”

“Are you
serious?
I would
love
that!”

He smiled. “You can’t fuss over me like
I’m six, you hear?”

“I make no promises. When are you
coming?”

“Would tonight be too soon?”

She paused, and he swore he heard tears
in her voice when she said, “No, Brian, tonight would
not
be too soon.”

Late
on his last afternoon in Florida, Brian lay on a lounge chair next to his
mother’s and watched two young boys toss a Frisbee back and forth. After a busy
day, the beach had cleared out, leaving just a few groups scattered along the
wide expanse of sand. For the first time in longer than he could remember,
Brian was completely relaxed. He hated to admit Saul might’ve been right.

“What do you feel like doing for dinner?”
Mary Ann asked.

“I thought you were snoozing.”

“I was. Now I’m thinking about a drink
and some food.”

Brian smiled. They’d had a great time
together, and despite his vociferous protests, he had enjoyed being mothered.
“I wouldn’t mind going back to that Mexican place we went to the other night.”

“I should cook for you on your last
night.”

“That would take far too much energy.”

“I’m never this lazy. You’ve completely
ruined me.”

“I was just thinking that
you
had
ruined
me
. How am I supposed to go back to work after this?”

“If I know you, you’ll be back in work
mode so fast you’ll forget you ever had a vacation.” She reached for his hand.
“I’m so glad you came, especially since Dad had to cancel his trip.”

“I wonder what’s got him so tied up that he
missed the chance to hang out with us.”

“Whatever it is, he’s not saying much
about it.” She released his hand to run her fingers through her short mop of
blonde hair. Even in her late fifties, Mary Ann Westbury was still an
attractive woman.

“I’ll call him when I get back and see if
I can get it out of him,” Brian said.

“If you do, tell me.”

“You know I can’t do that. Those of us in
law enforcement—”

“Have to stick together,” she said in a
long-suffering tone. “You know where you two can stick that.”

Brian laughed.

“You know he’s crazy proud of you. We
both are.”

“That means a lot to me.” All at once
Brian realized he was running out of time to ask the question he’d been trying
to work up the nerve to ask all week. “Mom?”

“Hmm?”

“Can I ask you something?”

Something in his voice had her turning to
look at him. “Of course you can.”

He hesitated, knowing he was about to
open the door to a past he might not be ready to face, even now.

“What is it, honey?” she asked with
concern on her face and in her voice.

With a deep breath, he asked, “Do you
ever see Carly when you’re home?”

Startled by the question, Mary Ann
studied him for a long moment before she replied. “All the time.”

“Is she, you know, still at her parents’
house?”

“No.”

Brian’s heart beat hard as he waited for
her to continue.

“She works at Miss Molly’s,” Mary Ann
said.

“Then she must be talking, too.”

Mary Ann shook her head.

“But how does she waitress if she can’t
talk?”

“Everyone in town knows her. They tell
her what they want, and she brings it to them. It’s pretty simple.”

Suddenly he needed more. He needed
everything. “How long ago did she leave the house? How did it happen?”

“From what Carol told me, about a year
after you left for school, Steve reached his limit. He told Carly she could
either get a job or go to school, but she wasn’t spending one more minute
locked up in that house. He told her if she didn’t do it, he would kick her out
of the house.”

Hungry for more and filled with
questions, Brian forced himself to stay quiet and listen.

“Until then, I guess Carol had been
running interference between Carly and Steve. But Carol had reached her limit,
too, and couldn’t stand another minute of watching that beautiful young girl
wasting away in her room. So she stood by her husband. She said it was one of
the worst moments of her life. The next day, Carly came downstairs in her
uniform and walked out the door like she’d been doing it every day.”

“Wow,” Brian said, exhaling a long deep
breath. He couldn’t help but wonder what might have been different for
Carly—for both of them—if Mr. Holbrook had made his stand a year earlier.

“She’d been back to work a couple of
years when she rented the apartment above Carson’s.”

Brian conjured up a picture of the
general store in downtown Granville.

“She still lives there.”

He said nothing as he watched the sunset
and tried to imagine Carly’s life.

“She walks everywhere. I see her all over
town. She’s always happy to see me, always has a hug for me and your dad, too.”

“She still won’t get in a car?”

“No.” Mary Ann shook her head as she
raised her lounge chair a notch. “You’ve never asked about her before, so I
didn’t tell you any of this when it happened. I figured you wouldn’t want to
know.”

“It wasn’t that I didn’t
want
to
know. It just seemed better to make a clean break.”

“So what’s changed?”

He shrugged. “I’ve been thinking a lot
about home lately. I’m not sure why. I suspect it’s the anniversary of the
accident and all that.”

“If you’re thinking about home then it’s
only natural you’re thinking about Carly, too.”

“I guess.”

She raised an eyebrow. “Bri? What’s going
on?”