The Wounded (The Woodlands Series) (15 page)

“You better go before beautiful blond man starts wondering where you are.”

I put my chin on top of the blankets and pushed it down so I could see him. “You know I love you, right?” I asked.

Rash raised his dark
eyebrows, and I swear I saw a blush rise in his cheeks. “Yeah, whatever, Soar. You’re sooo not my type.” He let the door shut and watched me carefully through the window as I trod down towards the hospital.

Death
stung. Friendship loosened the barb. Love would heal it.

*****

Crawling into to bed with Joseph later that night, I shuffled close to where he sat with his strong back leaning against the headboard. I pulled his arm over my shoulder.

Fumbling
around on the nightstand, I grabbed the small square of paper. I un-crumpled the letter and handed it to him. He raised his eyebrow and read.

He pulled me into his lap when he was done, cupping my chin with his hand and raising my face to meet his.

“She’s right, you know.” He kissed me softly, releasing plumes of sadness with each touch. “Just remember, you don’t have to do any of it on your own.”

I nuzzled into his chest and let his
heartbeat sing its lullaby. “I know.”

Apella was draped in a
wheelchair. And I say draped because she was as listless and translucent as a wet shower curtain. She was trying to stay alive for Alexei.

I could see the pull, the way sometimes her head would loll
back, and she would cough for minutes without a break. But she wasn’t going to let go.

I wheeled her around the hospital, Rash by my side. “Are you sure you don’t want to stay with
Joseph and me?” I winced as I said it.

“Nah, I’m happy amongst the doilies and crocheted blankets. Your friend Addy was a bit of a pack rat.”

My expression twisted, my smile shriveling like a raisin. “She was old. I think that’s what old people are like. They have all these memories they hold onto, you know, in things.” I turned Apella to the door, the wheels squealing. It was still too cold for her to go outside, but I wanted her to feel the sun on her face.

“Not in Pau…” Rash
said, his mind wandering.

Apella
croaked, and I pulled her back from the stream of sunlight.

Hands wrapped around my waist and
a warm breath blew on my neck. I smiled.

“
You left early his morning. I left Orry with Odval at home,” and then, like Rash had appeared from nowhere, “Oh hello, Rasheed.”

Rash waved
. “Hey Jo…” When Joseph narrowed his eyes, he finished with “…seph. Um, err, I’m gonna go. They need help repairing the façade of the hospital.

“Stay away from the glue
,” I shouted after him.

He barked a hard laugh
. “Haha! Yeah, very funny, Soar,” he said sarcastically.

Joseph looked at me questioningly
. “Inside joke,” I said lightly.

He shook his head
. “I hate those.”

I ignored him and turned to touch my nose to his.
Looking into his eyes, I felt myself spinning. I reached my lips to his and tugged on his bottom one with my teeth. When I pulled back his eyes were still closed.

“I’m going to go visit Pietre today
.” I groaned. I had put it off long enough.

A voice carried across the ward.

“Ooh, my turn then.” Careen bounded towards us and placed her hands on the wheelchair handles. I cringed as she crooned to Apella, “Matthew said you could go outside today.”

“Are you sure?” I
asked warily.

“Yes
, Nurse Rosa, I’m sure.” She rolled her eyes at me.

I bent down
, trying to connect with Apella’s listless eyes. “I’ll be back later.”

She nodded.

I reluctantly let go and left her to it. Joseph and I walked out of the hospital. The air did feel a little warmer. It had that sweet, heavy smell of spring.  I inhaled and tried to remember when this place felt like home. But with every foot placed gently over a crack in the cobblestones, I felt the trudge of thousands of soldiers surging towards the hospital, the panic of the people as they ran. The way the air seemed cut up and filled with screams. I didn’t feel safe here anymore, not when I knew they could come back. And they had Deshi.

The records showed we had lost 281 people
. That included Gwen and the others lost on the retrieval mission. The rest were mostly elders.

I stopped walking
, my sneakers rubbing over the rounded edge of a cobblestone, and heaved a difficult breath. Everything kept getting stuck. My moments of happiness were shreds that twisted around a much bigger knot of fear and grief.

“What’s wrong?” Joseph had his hands on my shoulders, but I was looking past him. I was in the mess of bodies
, searching for Deshi. I wasn’t here.

He shook me a little
. “Rosa?”

I blinked
, the shutter rising a little. “I miss Deshi,” I said, which was only half of what I was feeling, but I was trying to let it out in small bits.

Joseph found my hand and wrapped his warm fingers around my
balled-up fist. “Me too…” His eyebrows rose, and he smiled at me. “I almost forgot. Um, before you go to see Mr. Sunshine, come home. I want to show you something.”

I shrugged. I was in no rush to see Pietre
. Joseph had been seeing to his medical needs since he was released from hospital and, from all accounts, he was being the same surly, self-pitying ass he always was.

Joseph dragged me up the hill.

*****

Our home wa
s still our home but, now that I knew Woodland soldiers had picked their way through it, it felt stained. Tainted. I couldn’t stand that they had been here, peeking into our lives. I knew Joseph felt it too. He always stepped over the threshold uneasily, like he was waiting for someone to jump at him. But today, when we got to the front door, all we could hear was Orry making nonsense sounds and Odval clapping her hands.

I was
starting to wonder how Orry could do the things he did. How he could bind and break me at the same time. Was this what it felt like to be a mother, or was there something wrong with me?

Joseph took my hand and led me inside. Odval
registered our presence, and then returned her gaze to Orry, who lay on the floor with his head up. He saw me and mumbled, “Mm, ah, mm, ah.”

I put my hand over my mouth, my teeth grazing my fingers.
Joseph placed his hand in the small of my back and pushed me forward. I knelt down at the edge of the rug and watched Orry rock back and forth on his knees. Odval started to clap. I eyed her suspiciously, wondering what she was clapping about. Then Orry rocketed forward, his face adorably stern, as he concentrated all his strength on pulling himself to me.

Before I could stop
myself, I was clapping, squealing, and talking in an annoying voice, beckoning him to come closer. He made it to me. I scooped him up in my arms and held him above my head. “Look at what you did,” I said, rubbing my nose against his. He beamed and copied the clapping around him.

There was
a swell. Something small at first, that climbed higher and took over. It was sweet and filled me to bursting. It was pride. I swung him around and around and laughed. I was really getting it now. This was why. If nothing else, we had to preserve this.

I hugged him close to me and breathed in the soft smell of his hair. His unique baby
-ness. Joseph went to take him from me, but I wouldn’t let him go.

“Not yet
,” I said, clutching him closer. I looked into those weird eyes of his and cocked my head to the side. “What other amazing things can you do?”

A big blob of dribble fell out his mouth and landed on my toe. I laughed loud, my ribcage rattling from it. “
Oh, that’s very impressive!”

Odval patted my shoulder, “It is. Very.” She crinkled her kind eyes at me. “Making you laugh like that is a true talent. We need more laughter.”

The fridge opened, and Joseph’s voice carried over the door. “You staying for dinner, Odval?”

“No thank you
, Joseph. I’m having Pelo over for dinner tonight.”

I paused and chose not to react. I hadn’t seen Pelo since
we had found Apella. Joseph was oblivious. “Oh, that’s nice. Tell him hi from me.”

“I will,” she said
shyly, looking to me for a response and receiving nothing but silence. She left.

I swung Orry onto my hip and told Joseph I was going to take
him with me. I needed a buffer between Pietre and me. Joseph frowned but let me go.

*****

The door was ajar, warm air tunneling its way out through the crack. Orry grabbed the frame and slammed it shut before I could stop him.

“Who is it?” Pietre’s voice growled.

“It’s me, Rosa,” I squeaked.

I heard a
groan and a shuffle as I pushed my way inside.

He sat up on a
crusty, old couch, his face as squished and contorted as the cushions. One leg was up on the coffee table, the other a stump covered in bandages.

“What do you
want?” he scowled up at me.

I search
ed for somewhere to sit and found a chair covered in dirty laundry. I pushed it to one side with a look of distaste and squeezed myself in.

“I just came to see
how you were doing since the…”
Don’t say leg being chopped off,
I warned myself. “Um… since the surgery.”

“Stupid question
,” he snarled, looking down at where his leg used to be.

“Yeah
, I guess so,” I said, staring at the floor, which was covered in fluff and other indescribable bits of dirt.

Silence floated between us for what seemed l
ike ages. Everything was filthy, the whole place screamed to be cleaned. It smelled like rotten cabbage, and Pietre himself looked like he could use a wash down but I wasn’t going to volunteer for that job. I tapped my chin, wondering what I could say to make him feel better.

“
Pietre, it stinks in here,” I said, abandoning pleasantries. It was our way, so why pretend now? “Here, take Orry,” I said, plopping the clueless child in Pietre’s lap. Pietre’s face was misery and self-pity, and I couldn’t stand it. I looked away from him and went to the window, throwing open the curtains. It unearthed all the dirt covering the floors and shot waves of dust into to air. I sneezed. Orry laughed, and Pietre gave him a peculiar look, like he wasn’t sure the baby was quite human.

I rolled my eyes. “It’s just a baby.
So really, you two should get along fine.” I stormed out of the room and went to clean out the refrigerator.

As I moved through every inch of Pietre’s home, small pieces of conversation drifted towards me like music.
My initial reaction was to gag. Pietre was cooing to my kid and blowing raspberries. I heard my child clapping. Then Orry started to cry. A low and beautiful thrum wove its way soothingly through the house washing down the walls. A warm, deep voice, a song I’d never heard, but felt in time with.

It’s up to you

And it’s not fair

Nothing you do comes out easy in the end

The
sound and intention behind it was so soft and sweet. I honestly couldn’t believe it came from Pietre.

You’re only new

But it has begun

You’ll reach for stars and they’ll fall down as much as they shine

Please don’t cry

I’m in it with you

We’re all part of the same chain, the same fight

I paused in the doorway, letting the chorus
trickle over me. The heartbreaking truth of it wracked me.