The Wounded (The Woodlands Series) (14 page)

Joseph
rose. “Rope. Get some rope. Now,” he ordered.

V
oices carried the request, and rope appeared arm over arm until it reached us.

Apella revealed herself, flipping onto her back
, taking a long, raw breath, and then coughing and spluttering as she tried to exhale. Her eyes were lined with black, her mouth and nostrils clogged with ash.

I
made eye contact. She was so close, no more than ten meters down the edge.

She blinked and
listlessly moved one arm, trying to find something to hold on to. We all watched in horror as she skidded further down towards the center.

I snatched the rope and threaded it around the tree, grabbing glances at Alexei’s panicked face. If he
had to watch her die, he would end like a bad book. I tested the strength of my knot and then threw the rope down the cliff towards Apella’s body. It landed just a foot from the top of her head, which she lifted, her eyes deadened like she was ready to give up.

She looked from
Alexei to me and made a grab for it, missing by a fraction and sliding slowly downwards, mouthing the words, “I can’t.”

“
Yes you can,” I screamed.
You have to
, I thought. We couldn’t lose anyone else.

She laid one cheek against
the rock and ash, shivering, beads of silky dust sliding off her skin like beads of sweat.

Joseph hastily pulled
the rope upwards.

“What are you doing?” I screeched. “You can’t give up yet.”

He looked to me, his face stony, a tiny bridge of sweat forming across his perfectly crooked, freckled nose. “I’m not giving up. I’m going down.”

He tied the rope around his waist and turned to face me. I could feel the blood
leaving my face in streaks. Inside I was thinking,
No
, swearing and thinking of ways to stop him. Outside, I straightened myself, kissed him, and sent him on his way into that black hole. “Be careful,” I said, wavering, swaying a little.

He winked
. “I always am.” He grimaced, his face showing the strain as he slowly edged his way towards her, his legs buried knee-deep in ash after only a few steps.

I grabbed Alexei
by the shoulders, trying to calm him down. He bit away at his fingers and pulled at what was left of his hair.

I clamped down on the bony cups of his shoulder
s. “Alexei, stop.”

His eyes had retreated, the pale blue sunk below his grief. He stopped moving
and stuttered, “Rosa, yes, sorry. I’m, well, I didn’t expect this. She’s supposed to be at the hospital.”

I shook my head and pointed. “She’s right there. She was never at the hospital.
Alexei, you need to get a grip. She needs you to be strong.”

I wasn’t sure if I got through to
him, but he stopped jittering and watched with me as our loved ones tried to meet in the worst of places.

I think I held my breath the entire time and only let air in when the two of them collapsed on the edge of the hole. It was only then that we noticed the entire town was watching us. No one had gone
to their homes. They all stood watching and waiting to hear the words.

Joseph gently laid Apella on her side and rubbed her back. She convulsed and
vomited black sludge.

She looked dead but for a tiny rise in her ribcage. Maybe she should have been. We were waiting for something to flag, a noise, a cough, some hope.

And then she opened her eyes and said, “Alexei.”

I turned to the survivors and yelled as loud as I could, “She’s alive!”

The sound and surge of almost three thousand people clapping and cheering, and the sound of feet stamping with relief and joy was amazing.

Apella
’s tiny, pale, crescent moon-shaped body lay in the grass in front of me. I kneeled down and kissed her cheek, the tears forming mud and sliding down her face.

“Look what you did.” I smiled
at her.

I wrapped my arms around Joseph
’s waist and pulled him closer, wanting to wrap the four of us into one giant cocoon. “You too,” I said. “You’re like hero or something.”

Addy was dead and Apella was drowning, slowly.

That was
where we were. I knew the truth of it. But I couldn't accept it.

Matthew seemed at peace with
Addy’s death. He’d expected it and had said his goodbyes to her before we left. I had denied it, and now it felt like my grief was dangling from a string just out of reach. I had no energy to jump for it.

We
had been waiting at the hospital for three days. No sleep, no peace. Our bodies contorted to fit into cold, plastic chairs. Life was on hold.

We ate and drank
other peoples’ food. The Survivors had poured into the town and flooded every corner, cleaning up, cooking, and caring.

*****

Rash placed his hand on mine and Joseph stared at us touching, my skin hot and prickly under his gaze.

“Are you ready to hear it yet?” Rash whispered
, his finger absently stroking my knuckles.

I
bowed my head, ashamed of my cowardice. Rash had a message for me from Addy, but I couldn't hear it. Not yet. Not when I could lose Apella.

He let it go.

Plastic chairs shuffled and Orry stirred in my arms, his little nose twitching.

Rash smirked.
“I still can't believe you're a mother. A real deal mother.” His teeth flashed white and proud at me.

Joseph shuffl
ed closer and stood over Rash. “And a good one.”

I yawned
, saying, “Yeah right,” and rubbed my eyes. I leaned my head on Rash’s shoulder, and Joseph flinched above me. It had been like this since they met at the hospital. Awkward. Weird.

I lifted my head
to Joseph; he looked weary but still beautiful. His freckles faded from spending so much time inside. “Are you going to do that every time we touch?” As soon as I said the words, I regretted them. He didn’t say anything; he just clenched one hand in a fist by his side and walked away.

My eyes returned to
Apella’s grey, papery hand. I hated her like this. You could probably lift her skin off like a silt blanket, and she wouldn’t care or notice. Sleeping, she already looked dead, except for the labored breath and the slight flick of her eyes under her eyelids as she dreamed.

“
You shouldn't have said that to beautiful, blond man, you know,” Rash said, his dark eyes focused on his neatly clasped hands between his knees.

I smiled weakly
. “Don't call him that; he hates it.”

Rash flashed me a grin
. “Well, I won't say it to his face anymore. Geez, you'd think he'd take it as a compliment!”

“
I don't think he knows how to take you,” I said, knocking his shoulder.

“
Like the amazing guy I am, baby.”

“
You’re an idiot,” I said, swiping a stray tear from my cheek.

Rash shrugged
. ”Yeah, but you love me.”

“
Yep, I do.” Like family, like a brother.

Apella’s
eyes dashed around under her lids. Thin blue veins spidered their way across her brow. She was fighting, at least for now.

I stood and placed Orry in the crook of her willowy arm.
Pulling up the bed rail, I tucked him in. Alexei slept in the other bed, sedated. Hessa was curled in a cot between them. I made a wish for Apella to dream of her family, her babies. Something safe and warm.

I leaned down and kissed Rash on the forehead. He s
hook his head like it was gross. “What’d you do that for?”

I poked my tongue out at him
. “What do you reckon?”

He just smiled.

“Go home and get some rest, Rash,” I said shoving him gently.

“
You’ll be ok?” His tired eyes flickered concern.

I wasn't
sure, but I nodded. My heart hurt like the spaces inside it were being scraped down and widened. I would be ok, but Apella wouldn't. She hadn't woken up, she coughed in her sleep, and she muttered incoherently. Matthew said she might not wake up at all.

Rash
’s steps grew quieter, and I was alone with the breaths of the dying and grieving. One came in gasps like gravel, and the other like a cry. Would Alexei survive losing her?

I twisted my hair in my fingers as I paced, watching my son
breathe happily beside her. He was perfect. He was the good thing, the unbreakable thing, that would make me be ok. I would make sure I survived this for him.

All this intervention.
Bags dripped to replenish her fluids, and oxygen swirled in what was left of her lungs. Ash had set like concrete inside her.

I leaned in
and pulled a strand of hair from her face, tucking it behind her ear. She’d probably hate that I touched her like that. I felt the cry trying to escape from my throat, and I held it in. This grief, this sadness, was like a scrabbling animal with razor sharp talons. It hurt but I knew if I let it out, it would be too much for me.

Her face was
so unfamiliar. Was she in there? I wanted to talk to her so much I felt like shaking her. I took a step back and knocked one of the chairs to the ground.

I bent down to pick it up, the leg scraping over the tiles.

A finger flicked.

I looked up.

And Apella opened her eyes.

I grasped at the red button and click, click, clicked it, fast understanding it was broken. Picking up Orry, I went to Alexei, rattling his lonely body until he woke. He rolled over and gazed at me confused. “Ro…sa?”

“It’s Apella,” I
said, with a rigid smile, forcing myself into it because I wasn’t sure what it meant. “She’s awake!”

He sprung to her side like they’d always been
attached, and I ran to find Matthew and Joseph.

*****

She woke slowly, as in it took hours. She seemed to be grasping at consciousness, digging her nails in and hoisting herself up, only to have something drag her back under. Alexei coaxed her like you would a child hiding under the bed from monsters, and gradually she pulled free of her coma.

She flung her hand haplessly at the glass on the table in front of
her, and I placed it to her lips. She took a brief sip, pursed her lips like it tasted bad, and shook her head, pushing it away. She attempted to clear her throat, but it was like urging cement uphill. “Deshi?” she croaked desperately, her eyes moving hollowly towards Joseph.

He dipped his chin to his chest before finding her eyes
. “No… I’m sorry.”

Her eyes
were wet, but no tears fell. I sensed she didn’t have the energy. She attempted to breath and collapsed over coughing. “Whaaat now?” she wheezed after it stopped. It was exhausting watching her fight for every breath. Each word she spoke punctured her throat and sent her into a coughing fit. Every time she took a breath, I was so scared it was her last.

Her eyes still begged for an answer.

What now?

No one answered. We didn’t know.

*****

Hours later, a
speckle of stars had pushed their way through the dark windows.

Rash tugged at my shirtsleeve.
“Take a walk with me,” he said in a forced, casual voice.

I
swung my head to the others crowded around Apella’s bed. “Go,” Joseph said with a cranky shrug. “Get some air.”

I ignored his attitude and grinned “
Mmm… air,” I said, smacking my lips. “I wouldn’t mind something other than recycled hospital air!” He rolled his eyes at me, but there was slight smile in the corner near his dimple.

I followed Rash
through the hospital doors, scrapes of cleared debris running in rainbow arcs of dust on the pavement. “Where are we going?” I asked as he grabbed my elbowed and steered me towards Addy’s apartment. “Um… no,” I squeaked, my eyes scanning the slanty cottages poking their roofs into the tarry sky. I imagined I could climb up there, reach out, and pull it back to me, getting my hands all sticky.

“Um…
yes,” he grunted tersely. “This denial or avoidance thing isn’t going to fly with me. Let’s just get this over with.”

“You’re the only one that can get away with pushing me like this, you know?” I muttered as
I begrudgingly tramped after his dark, determined silhouette.

“Not the only one
,” he called out behind me.

He was right. Addy could and did talk to me any way she pleased.
I crumbled my hands together, pausing on my grief mid-step. Rash stood on her doorstep with his arms crossed impatiently. Amber light pooled over his concerned face.

I took in a warm, pollen-filled breath and met him.

*****

“Right. Take this…
and this…” Rash ordered. “She wanted you to have this thing as well.” I hated the ‘e-d’ on the end of his words. He hurriedly piled blankets in my arms and then placed a china dragon on top of the toppling tower of junk.

“Wait…
slow down,” I breathed. The smell of Addy traveled through me. The feel of the soft, hand-knitted blankets on my skin reminding me of all the times she’d comforted me. They were small, the gestures, like pulling the blanket over my legs after Cal attacked me, but they were so important.

I could just see
Rash raise his eyebrows over the clump of stuff in my arms. “Oh, I thought you would want to get this done quickly and run out before you had a chance to miss her,” he said, taunting me.

I narrowed my eyes at him
. “That’s not very fair.”

“As your friend Addy would say,
‘Life’s not fair,’” he said, changing his voice to sound like Addy at the end. My chest wheezed out a surprised laugh.

“Oh my God, don’t…” I
said, laughing as I placed the things down on a table before I dropped them. “That’s not funny.” I giggled.

Rash put his hand on my shoulder, cooling my hysterics. “Sit
down, Soar.”

I did as he asked. Perching myself on the edge of Addy’s
sofa, ready to launch if I needed to. Like he knew my plan, Rash shoved me firmly back. “Sit down properly.”

I leaned back and
sighed, staring up at the wooden beams of the ceiling fanning out from the center of the room like a spider’s web.

Rash sigh
ed too and I returned my gaze to him, as he pulled a folded piece of paper from his back pocket. “You ready?”

“No.”

“Too bad.”

He breathed in solidly through his nostrils and started reading.

“My dearest Rosa…” he said, his voice all scratchy as he imitated Addy again.

I snorted and smacked his arm
. “Stop it!” I said with a smile. I patted the sofa and he sat down facing me.

“My dearest Rosa,

Telling you not to be angry is like telling a bird not to use its wings. So I’m not going to make such a request. You know why? Because I’m angry too. My life may have been approaching its last years, but I wasn’t ready to go. I wasn’t ready to go like this. I just want you to remember who you’re angry at. Don’t be aimless, girl. Don’t fight the whole world, and then be surprised when it crushes you. Use your passion and your anger to protect your family and yourself. You’ve lost friends before, but this is life. You will love, and you will lose. But you choose how you will react and how your life goes on afterwards. Make it count. Not just for me. Make it count for all of us.”

Rash smoothed the paper out on his thigh and handed it me. “She was a crazy old
bat, wasn’t she?” He smiled.

I held my hands on my knees, one palm open,
and the other scrunching Addy’s letter into a ball.
Damn it! I don’t know what to do.
I lifted my eyes to the ceiling, trying to keep the hopeless tears from coming out. She thought so much more of me than I deserved.

Rash slung his arm over my shoulder
, pulling me closer. “She loved you. I mean, I don’t understand it, you’re such a pain in the ass, but a lot of people seem to love you anyway.” He rolled his eyes dramatically.

I sniffed and leaned on his shoulder. “Thanks, you jerk
,” I managed.

Speaking to the iron-framed window I was staring out of, I asked, “How are you coping with all of this?”

Rash’s shoulder buzzed as he answered, “You know, I always wondered if we were alone. And now I know. The people seem nice. The girls are pretty. I know things are a bit crazy right now but hell, it beats picking up trash.” He stroked my hair with his cool hand. “And I have my friend back.”

“So you’re happy you came with me?”

“Of course.”

“Tell me if you need anything, Rash, anything at all
,” I said, squeezing his hand, which was draped over my shoulder.

“
Well, unless you can set me up with Careen, I’m good for now, but thanks.”

He kissed the top of my
head, and it sat there like a calming balm for all my harried thoughts.

We stayed
like that for a short while. Then Rash piled the rest of Addy’s possessions back into my arms and kicked me out.