The Women of Duck Commander (11 page)

Phil has always had a special place for my girls in his heart, but when they were young, he did not always know how to show it. As
the years have mellowed him, he now has a great, loving relationship with my granddaughters. They adore Papaw Phil. My daughters are old enough to understand and appreciate all of Phil and Miss Kay’s good qualities. I believe they will inherit all of those attitudes and characteristics (they already demonstrate a lot of them), and I pray they will pass them down to their own children.

Missy:
A L
OT TO
L
EARN

We all have so much to learn from Miss Kay and Phil. My prayer and hope is that my children have learned the valuable life lessons they have to share. I hope my children have learned from Phil and Miss Kay to look at everyone they meet with a nonjudgmental heart. I hope they have learned and will continue to learn that judgment belongs to God and we are here only to guide people to Him. I hope they have learned to laugh at the little things and the big things and to know that God has given them this life as a gift.

I hope my kids have learned a strong work ethic by watching their papaw Phil work on the land and in the yard cleaning fish, deer, and ducks. I hope they learn to be generous in feeding family, friends, and even strangers a good, home-cooked meal and that having an open-door policy is much more fulfilling than a closed, locked door with a security system. Most of all, I hope they have watched their grandparents stay real in an unreal world, learned that they can turn to God for all of their problems,
and come to understand that they can love people enough to share that same God with everyone they meet.

Korie:
S
TRENGTH
, L
OVE, AND
C
OMPASSION

The three traits I have tried to instill in my children since they were born are strength, love, and compassion. Both Phil and Miss Kay exemplify these traits, even though they express them in different ways. I hope my children will continue to develop strength based on a deep knowledge of
whose
they are (God’s) and understand that His power moves mountains. I pray they will always love others but love God above all else. I also hope and pray they will consistently demonstrate compassion by treating others with kindness and humility. They certainly see these qualities in their grandparents. I can already see these same traits unfolding in my children, and I look forward to seeing these good characteristics mature in them over the years to come.

Jessica:
L
EAVING
A L
EGACY

Phil and Miss Kay will definitely leave a legacy of love for God, love for each other, and love for people in general. They both truly love and care for others, regardless of a person’s skin color or economic status, and will help anyone in any way they can. They are not very technological; they value quality time with people and good conversations over text messages and e-mail. They want everyone with
whom they come in contact to know God. Both of them are dedicated to family and to the togetherness that comes from the family table, and I hope these things will continue in my children and throughout the generations of Robertsons to come.

I hope my children will always love to read and love to cook, as Miss Kay does. I pray they will inherit the way Miss Kay cheers for the underdog, lifts the brokenhearted, and gives to anyone in need. I hope they will also notice and learn from the fact that she loves and respects Phil and is a loyal, committed wife and friend to him.

I feel that my children have a rare opportunity to glean from Phil some things that have been lost in modern society. In many ways, he is “old school.” He still works his land and takes care of it, which is important for them to see. He is hardworking, industrious, and resourceful. He could not care less about the things of this world; he is totally nonmaterialistic but is a man who hungers and thirsts to know God. Sometimes I am amazed to see him studying his Bible in his recliner because he already knows it so well. But he continues to study diligently. His desire to walk in truth is deep, and his faithfulness to God is remarkable. I hope my children absorb these things from Phil and incorporate them into their lives to the greatest possible degree.

I also want our children, boy and girls, to have a love for the outdoors like Phil and Miss Kay have. Miss Kay loves nature and has a special affection for all kinds of animals. Phil loves having the ability to provide for his family through growing vegetables, fishing, frogging, and hunting deer and ducks. All of that knowledge from both of them has been passed to us, and it is so important that the generations who come after us not lose the ability to live
off the land. Jep and I are actively teaching our children survival skills, in addition to the skills they observe and learn from Phil and Miss Kay.

I don’t mean to imply that we never buy meat or vegetables at the grocery store; we simply have the skills and ability to provide for our family from what God has created, and we have a love and appreciation for the outdoors, which Jep and I both got from our families.

I am aware that some people don’t like “meat eaters” because they think we are killing animals for the sake of killing, but that is not true. We are providing food for our family. One of my favorite meats to eat is deer. You can’t get a leaner, more healthy meat. I like certain parts of the deer better than others, but we do not waste anything. We often take deer meat and ducks to local neighborhoods in which people may not have the money to buy meat, and we just give it to them. We also share meat with widows in our church. The looks on their faces when we do this are priceless.

This combination of living off the land, being resourceful, not wasting anything, and sharing with others comes from Phil and Miss Kay. It’s the kind of thing they do, it’s what Jep and I do, and it’s what we are teaching our children to do.

Part Three

HAPPILY EVER AFTER CAN TAKE A WHILE

We also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope.

ROMANS 5:3–4

12

INTRODUCTION

Miss Kay

I just love to read. I especially love to read to my grandchildren. In fact, at my house, I set up a little library for them. They can go in there, look through the books, choose some to read, and then sign their names on a piece of paper to “check out” the books like I used to do before so many libraries got computers. Like any good librarian, I want to make sure I get my books back so other children can enjoy them!

When I was a child, my favorite stories were ones that ended with the words “and they lived happily ever after.” My grandchildren like that kind of ending too. But what I know, and what they have not yet learned, is that “happily ever after” sometimes takes a while.

I learned the hard way how long a happy ending can take and how difficult it can be. So
did my daughter-in-law Lisa. Both of us want to share our stories with you. We do not necessarily enjoy talking about the heartache and struggles we have been through, but we want to talk about them because we want you to have hope for any disappointing or devastating situation in your life and to know that God is always in the business of healing and restoration, no matter how bad the circumstances might be.

13

I FOUND OUT WHAT IT MEANS TO FIGHT

Miss Kay

My grandmother once told me, “You’ll have to fight for your marriage.” When she said those words, I did not understand them. I had no idea what she meant. I never really saw her fight for her marriage because she had a good relationship with my grandfather. I would not say they were lovey-dovey all the time, but they treated each other with respect and there was peace in their home.

In the early years of my marriage to Phil, I did everything I could think of to be a good wife and a good mother to Alan. I had all kinds of dreams about a happy marriage and a loving family, and I honestly believed if I worked hard enough, those dreams would come true. They didn’t, no matter how hard I tried—at least not for a long, long time.

I was pregnant with Alan when Phil and I moved to Ruston, Louisiana, for him to attend college and play football at Louisiana
Tech. Phil was
really
good! In fact, when he left the team a couple of years later, his replacement was a guy who was also really good, but not as good as Phil. That second-string quarterback was named Terry Bradshaw, and he went on to become a very famous football player.

B
AD
C
OMBINATIONS

The football team and everything that went along with being a player did not provide a good environment for Phil. After spring training of his first year, he had to spend some time living in a dorm with his teammates—a bunch of single guys out from under their parents’ watchful eyes for the first time. They enjoyed drinking and partying, and because Phil was the star quarterback, they always wanted him to join them. He was young, like the other guys on the football team, and some of them told him he was really missing something because he had never had his “wild time.” I guess he believed them, because he got wild pretty fast and started drinking with his buddies. When that happened, I tried to be with him without getting involved in all the things he was doing. I went to some parties, but when the drinking started, all I could think about was my mother and what alcohol had done to her. Besides, I had enough sense to know that drinking and being pregnant did not go together. So Phil started sowing his wild oats, while I stayed sober and scared of what was happening to him.