The Witch Is Back (33 page)

Thank you, Rand
.

Thank you?
And I wasn’t sure how he did it but somehow his laugh transferred over our mind connection. His chuckle was deep and hearty and I loved the sound of it.

Thank you for always protecting me and believing in me and … for loving me just as I am
.

He was silent for a few seconds.
Jolie, you don’t have to thank me for any of that. It just is
.

Well, I’m thanking you anyway
.

Is everything okay?
he asked and then paused.
I’m worried about you
.

I quietly considered the question.
Things are as good as they can be, given the situation
. And as I finally unlocked
the seat belt and opened my car door, I realized I was walking into my dark and lonely house, a thought that depressed me more than it should have.
Rand?

Yes?

I paused, wondering exactly where he was.
Are you still in the fae village?

No, I’m in a Hyatt up the street
.

Up the street?
I asked in surprise as something incredibly happy burst inside me. He was so close …

You know my worrisome nature; I didn’t want to be so far from you in case something happened and you … needed me
.

You should have just stayed with me, silly
, I started.

No, you needed your space and I was happy to oblige you
.

Oh
, I thought and then took a deep breath, asking,
Well, I’ve had enough of my space for the time being. Do you want to … come over?

I’d be happy to
, he answered automatically, as if he’d been waiting for me to ask all along.

I smiled and, shutting the car door behind me, started for my house, feeling suddenly elated again.
Thank you
, I whispered in my mind. I absolutely meant it.

When I heard the knock on the front door twenty minutes later, I wasted no time in opening it. I just needed to see Rand, to throw my arms around him and tell him how much he meant to me, how much he’d always meant to me. I needed to wipe away the fact that I’d wounded him deeply and let him know how much I loved him.

I threw open the door and felt my breath catch when I beheld him. He was just so beautiful, so good. I stood there for a few minutes, staring at him, not able to say anything. He was wearing an off-white pullover sweater and dark blue jeans. His hair looked as if he’d just gotten
it cut and he was freshly shaven, revealing the incredible lines of his jaw and the dimple in his chin.

“I never get used to how amazingly beautiful you are,” I whispered.

“Me?” he said, smiling in surprise. “You’re the one who makes my heart speed up every time I see you.” He held his arms out and I rushed into them, wanting nothing more than to feel his warmth, inhale his spicy scent, and relish the sense of safety I always felt in his embrace. I rested my head against his chest, feeling like I was home, that Rand’s arms were the only place I ever belonged or wanted to be.

“You don’t know how much I’ve missed you,” he said as he kissed the top of my head.

I pulled away from him and took his hand as I led him into my house, closing the door behind us. “I’m so sorry for everything that’s happened, Rand,” I said, shaking my head, loathing the guilt that was nearly choking me. “I never meant to hurt you, and I hate myself for doing it.”

He glanced at me and took a seat on my sofa. “Jolie, you were honest with me. That’s all I’ve ever asked of you.”

I sat down beside him and took his hand in mine. “I know, but it kills me when I think about how you must be feeling.”

He smiled sweetly, shaking his head. “It is what it is. It’s not your fault that Sinjin used you to further his own ends.”

I felt my stomach sink at his words, but they were the truth—Sinjin
had
used me to further his own ends, and that was exactly what I needed to focus on to heal the pain that still pulled me apart. Putting my anger aside for the moment, I focused on Rand again and noticed he was quiet, wholly focused on his hands, watching them knot into fists.

“I’ve dealt with my issues with Sinjin,” I said softly, suddenly realizing how angry Rand was over the whole situation. As much as it pained me to hear that Sinjin exploited me for his own benefit, I was suddenly aware that it hurt Rand just as much to say it.

He glanced up at me, a question in his eyes. “What do you mean?”

I took a deep breath, knowing he wasn’t going to like this part. “I saw him earlier.”

He sat up straight, his eyes piercing as he stared down at me. “We were going to wait until daylight, I thought?”

I shook my head and stood up, walking to the kitchen to get a glass of water. I got one for Rand as well. After I filled each glass with ice and water, I braced myself and confronted Rand. His eyes were imploring, as if it was taking all his patience to sit quietly while I worked up my nerve to tell him what happened. “I couldn’t wait, Rand,” I admitted and then added, “I also didn’t follow our plan.”

Rand smirked as if he found the information as amusing as it was frustrating and raised a brow. “Why am I not surprised?”

I smiled at him in response and carried the glasses of water back over to my coffee table, putting mine down on a coaster while I handed Rand his. “I just couldn’t pretend that I didn’t know what he’d done,” I rationalized. “I just couldn’t give him the luxury of believing I was still ignorant, Rand. I wanted him to know that I was fully aware of what a total and complete asshole he is.”

He nodded as if he couldn’t find fault with the situation. “So what happened?”

I shrugged, memories of a few hours ago returning in a deluge of images. “I asked him why he did it but, of course, he refused to tell me.”

“So he now knows you have your memories?”

I nodded. “Yes.”

Rand stood up and ran his hands through his hair, showing that he was agitated, and started pacing back and forth. It was the same thing he always did when he was upset or frustrated. “Then he’s going to try to leave town, now that he knows what our agenda is.”

I shook my head even as I realized he wouldn’t believe what I was about to say. “He gave me his word he wouldn’t.”

Rand turned to face me and there was surprise and irritation etched on his face. “His word, Jolie? His word is meaningless!”

I nodded, but I was steadfast in believing Sinjin wouldn’t pull a fast one on me, on us. “I believe him, Rand. I told him to come to my house tonight at dusk and we would make our attempt to go home.”

He glanced at me and exhaled, shaking his head at my apparent naïveté. “Then there is nothing left to do but wait and see if he keeps his word. I absolutely intend to be here, if and when he shows up,” he said and took a deep breath. He was obviously being incredibly sweet for my sake; I could tell he thought I’d just made a huge mistake. “Or perhaps we should go after him in the daylight and just take him with us, as originally planned.”

I shook my head, well aware that the time for that plan was long gone because Sinjin was also. “No, he isn’t living in his house anymore, and I don’t know where his daytime resting place is.”

Rand nodded and took a seat on my couch again, drumming his fingers along the top of his knee. “Then we will stick with your plan,” he said and offered me an encouraging, hopeful smile. But I could tell he imagined it would take a miracle for Sinjin to actually keep his word and show up. Well, we’d have to see … “So it wasn’t a wasted trip then?”

I shook my head as I considered it. “No, it wasn’t. I got what I needed.” I glanced at the glass in my hand,
watching as the ice cracked in the water, beginning to melt. I looked up at Rand again and noticed that his eyes were narrowed on me. “I got closure.”

His jaw was tight as he studied me. “I could kill him for hurting you.”

I took a sip of my water, swallowing down any residual pain with thoughts of Sinjin. “What’s done is done. It’s in the past and we have an incredible future to look forward to together,” I said with a smile.

I now wanted to focus only on what could be instead of what wasn’t. Rand was absolutely the man for me. I knew we could be happy together.

He nodded and returned the smile but I could tell his mind was elsewhere, probably still on Sinjin if I had to guess. Then something must have occurred to him and he glanced up at me resolutely. “We could spare you all this pain, Jolie.”

“What?” I asked, eyeing him with surprise. “What do you mean?”

He nodded again, as if the idea were becoming more appealing to him. “Mathilda and I could erase your memories of what Sinjin did. You would never remember you were ever … in love with him.” He said the last four words like they caused a sour taste in his mouth.

I thought about it for a good few seconds because it did sound attractive—erase the anger and the pain and be able to think about Sinjin the way I always used to—as nothing more than a flirt. But then I knew I could never agree to it. I shook my head. “I can’t. I need to know, I need to remember what Sinjin did, so I never trust him again. I need to recognize him for what he is.”

Rand smiled at me as if to say he understood. “I just hate seeing you in pain.”

I patted his hand. “I’m going to be okay, Rand. I just need time, that’s all. And what’s more, now that I know what Sinjin is capable of, I know the risk he poses.”

“Keep your friends close and your enemies closer,” he said and nodded.

That was when it hit me. Was Sinjin my enemy? I guessed in some ways he was. I mean, he had completely acted out of his own self-interest and could not have cared less where mine was concerned. As his Queen, would I have to punish him when we returned to the future? Of course, I had to impose some sort of punishment; it wasn’t like I could just let him go. And, really, it wasn’t like I even wanted to let him go. At times like these, I was glad I had the help of Mercedes.

Do you really have the help of Mercedes?
I asked myself.
If she was in on this the whole time, then isn’t she your enemy too?

No, you have to listen to Mathilda on this one. Mercedes isn’t to blame. You need to find out her motivation and trust in her. Remember that she will always protect the kingdom first
.

“Was it painful to see him?” Rand asked.

I glanced at him, thankful to be pulled away from my inner dialogue as I considered his question. “It was painful,” I answered and thought about how ridiculous this whole thing was because Rand had warned me about Sinjin so many times. He warned me never to get close to him, never to trust him, and I foolishly disregarded his advice. I once thought Sinjin was just misunderstood, that maybe I could break through his tough exterior to find some sort of goodness within him. I glanced up at Rand and smiled regretfully. “I should have listened to you all along. You were always right.”

“It was your lesson to learn, Jolie,” Rand answered. “And it just goes to show how good you are—that you give everyone the benefit of the doubt.”

“Well, look where that got me.”

He smiled at me and grabbed my shoulder, pulling me
into the cocoon of his embrace. “It’s one of the reasons I love you,” he whispered.

“Has this whole thing … changed your feelings toward me at all?” I asked, suddenly afraid for his answer.

He pulled me into him more closely and held me, allowing me to listen to the beating of his heart as he ran his fingers through my hair. “Jolie, nothing could ever happen between us that would make me love you less.”

And that was when I realized how incredibly lucky I was, how lucky I was to have this unbelievable man in my life. I didn’t say anything but leaned up and cupped his cheek as I brought my lips to his. I didn’t close my eyes—I wanted to see him, to soak in his male perfection. And he didn’t close his eyes either; we both stared at each other as our tongues mingled. It soon became clear to me that kissing wasn’t going to be enough … Sinjin had been the last man to make love to me, and that needed to be rectified.

I sat upright as I pulled the sweatshirt over my head and threw it on the sofa beside me. Rand glanced over at me in surprise, but I didn’t miss a beat as I started removing my shirt. When I began to unhook my bra, Rand stopped me with a hand on my wrist.

“I don’t want you to feel like you have to do this,” he started.

But I interrupted him with a shake of my head. “I need to feel your claim again, Rand. I need for you to make love to me.”

That was apparently all it took. He bolted forward and grabbed me in his arms, standing up as he carried me into the bedroom. I wrapped my arms around him and felt a shudder of excitement pulse through me at the thought of what was about to happen.

Once in my room, he gently laid me down on the bed and reached around my back, unclasping my bra. He
slid it down each of my arms and seemed to take forever as he freed me from it and then he merely stared at my breasts as if he’d never seen them before, as if he were completely enchanted, mesmerized.

“You are the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen,” he whispered as he glanced up at me. “You have no idea how much you turn me on, how much you always have.”

I just smiled at him in response and started to remove my jeans, unbuttoning them and pulling them down my legs. I wasn’t interested in taking things slowly. No, now was the time for action. There was a fire burning within me that demanded fuel. I smiled up at him and grasped the bottom of his sweater, standing on my tiptoes as I wrenched it up and over his head. I was almost disappointed when I met his black undershirt rather than his gloriously naked chest and made a low grumbling noise in my throat to express my frustration.

Rand smiled down at me and, shaking his head in apparent amusement, removed the shirt himself, lifting it over his head as he gifted me with the view of his incredible biceps and even more incredible chest.

“When God was handing out muscles, you must have been in line twice,” I said, awed.

Rand just chuckled and started unbuttoning his jeans. I watched him as he pulled them down his long legs and something became very clear. “But apparently you missed the line for boxer shorts.”