The Widow's Friend (15 page)

“What’s left of it,” he answered. “Did you know that you get
one white hair for every pure thought that you think? So what’s your problem?”
He pointed at me and smiled.

“Oh, I’ve had my share of pure thoughts,” I said with a
giggle. “It’s just that I hide it well.”

He laughed and glanced at his watch. “It’s nine o’clock,” he
said as he looked me in the eyes, “but I don’t want to go.”

I smiled and nodded. I didn’t want him to go either.

“I really liked Mary Lou,” he said. “She seems like a sweet
little girl. She’s very pretty, and she’s just the right height. He smiled.

“Yes, and you also like her bra,” I muttered.

“Yes, I’m sorry but I can’t hide it,” he answered. He smiled
again and his eyes twinkled.

We talked a bit about his writing. He wrote adventure books
for younger boys and I found it interesting.

“I was writing a romance chapter last summer,” he said. “You
know, ninth grade romance kind of stuff. Holding hands and eating Twinkies—that
kind of thing. Anyway, I was telling this little girlfriend goodbye on her
grandmother’s porch. I was trying to be descriptive of how deeply we felt about
each other and how we wanted to melt together. It was a tender moment and I
wanted to share the emotion, but I didn’t want to write anything sexual, and I
could not for the life of me think of the right word to use. It was either too
graphic or too tame: melt, meld, come together, join…. I’m still not sure which
word I ended up using, but I know I wasn’t satisfied.”

“It must be hard to write a book,” I said.

“If you can write an e-mail you can write a book,” he
answered, and he seemed to mean it.

“I don’t want to go home, yet,” he said. “Do you want to go
for a drive?”

“I…guess,” I said, though I wasn’t so sure. He pulled me up
off the couch and we headed for the door. I knew, somehow, where we were going.
Sugar City was just ten minutes away.

“Sugar
City”

I loved Sugar City; most of my books were centered there,
reflecting back on the times of my youth. But our drive seemed uneventful right
here smack dab in the middle of December. The trees were not green, the
temperatures were not warm, and the world itself was dreary and stark. The best
part, though, was that the company was good. I found Callii to be perfect. She
was easy to talk to and comfortable to be around. Nothing at all was forced.
She enjoyed my humor and I enjoyed hers. I found her to be simply delightful.

“I have to tell you something,” she said.

We drove a ways in silence.

“I will never marry again,” she said quietly.

“Oh?” I answered. And that was all that I said. I didn’t
want to push anything.

“It’s not what you think,” she said. “Yes, I’ve been married
four times, but they didn’t wear me out.” She giggled but I didn’t respond. I
wasn’t sure if I should.

“It’s my inheritance,” she said. “You see, it’s written in
the will. If I marry again, one half of my inheritance goes to Kevin’s kids.”

“Wow, that’s crappy!” I said, responding without even
thinking.

“It is crappy,” she said

“Why would he do something like that?” I asked.

“He didn’t want me to marry again,” she whispered. He was
very jealous. You see, he really loved me, and…I loved him.”

“That’s still a terrible thing to do to you,” I whispered.

“You needed to know,” she said. A train sounded in the
distance. Snow crunched beneath the tires. The motor purred.

“Let me show you my building lot,” she said, suddenly.

“I’d love to see it,” I answered, and I really meant it.

“It’s down by the new junior high school,” she said, “on the
north side.”

I knew where that was and I turned the truck back in that
direction. We drove for awhile in silence, and even that didn’t seem
uncomfortable. The evening, for me, had been perfect so far.

“It’s right there, behind that house,” she said. I pulled
over.

“I’m going to build here, after I sell my house next spring,”
she said. “I need something a little smaller. The house I have is just too big.”

“Of course,” I said knowingly. She had a pool and an
entertainment center at her house. She hosted weddings and parties and kept
herself busy there. She seemed to be heading towards retirement and I could
relate to that.

We climbed out of the truck and began to make our way onto
her lot. She hesitated and I extended a hand. She took it and we rambled
through the crust of snow, sinking in step by step as we went. I felt a little
foolish. Walking through the snow was just normal for an old country boy like
me, but Callii seemed a little more refined.

We stood and talked. She told me of the neighbors and her
plans for the future. The stars twinkled from the sky but the world was frozen.
We got back into the truck and headed back for her place.

We talked a bit as we drove, but of exactly what I don’t
remember. The night was cold, but my heart was warm. Callii slid in a little
closer.

“Winding
Down”

The drive to Sugar City had been pretty good, I guess, but
nothing to write home about. I had told Levi of the conditions of my
inheritance. He needed to know and I was glad to get it behind me. Now we were
back at my house and settled in on the couch. It was probably ten o’clock by
now and I was getting tired, but I wasn’t about to let Levi know it. He seemed
like the energizer bunny, revved up and ready to go—on and on and on….

But in spite of my sleepiness, I didn’t want him to go home.
I hadn’t been treated like this for a very long time, and I would be lying if I
said I wasn’t enjoying it.

He asked about my neighbors so I got up and drew the blinds.
I suspected that he wanted me to.

Our words were a little softer now and the mood was quite
reflective, if not downright romantic. Our hands were clasped and he pulled me
in. I slid under his arm and I fit there better than I would have hoped. His
grip on my shoulder was secure. I shut my eyes while we talked. I could hear
his heart beating faintly in his chest. I hoped it might be beating a little
faster than it normally would. He smelled like a guy. It was not a smell of
cologne or shaving cream necessarily, but just the pure and remotely
recognizable smell of a man. It was an old and familiar scent that I hadn’t
realized that I’d missed so much until now.

He turned his face into my hair. I don’t know if he was
kissing me, but I may have imagined that he was. His breathing was soft in my
ear.

He began to speak.

“I want to….”

“Melt together?” I answered softly.

“Exactly,” he whispered.

He pulled my hand towards his face and gently kissed my
fingers. Then his hand stroked my cheek. His touch was light. He caressed my
neck and then let his hand drop a little lower. He stroked me gently, and it
was clear that he did it with affection. He was a gentleman through and
through, but I felt myself reeling, so I bent forward a little and released
myself from his grasp. He placed a hand on my back and massaged it while we
talked.

“Do you like massages?” he asked.

“Who doesn’t,” I mumbled. He smiled.

“I’m not that good at it,” he said.

“Yes you are,” I answered.

“This is just my left hand,” he said, teasing me a bit and
smiling again.

He pulled me back again and stroked my cheek. His face was
up against my ear.

“This is how it sometimes starts,” he whispered.

“It wouldn’t take much,” I answered softly.

My body was warming, almost tingling, and I was afraid of
losing control. It almost seemed we were beginning to melt together, so I
pulled myself away and rose from the couch. I looked back down at him and he
looked back up at me.

“It’s time for me to go,” he said. He rose slowly and
reached for my hand. We made our way towards the doorway.

He hugged me once, twice, even three times before he slipped
out the door. I followed him out and then reached out and grabbed him, pulling
him back towards me.

“Just one more,” I said as I drew him toward me. I wrapped
my arms around him. He responded with an embrace that left no doubt he felt the
same way that I did. Finally we broke apart and he backed down the steps.

“I want to say I love you,” he said quietly.

“Please,” I answered. “Not yet.”

He nodded in embarrassment and then walked away. We waved
goodbye and I went inside, closing the door behind me. I was so sleepy, but I
sat down on the couch and reflected a bit. It had been such a good night, but
then I remembered again—Levi was a married man. I felt confused, but I was glad
I’d forgotten it during our time together. The night had been so comfortable
and Levi had been so nice. I laid down on the couch where we’d just been. I
almost thought I could smell him.

I walked back to the front door and peered out the window.
His truck was gone and the night was cold. I wrapped my arms around myself and
headed off for bed. Somewhere outside came the wail of a cat. I smiled
knowingly, because right at the moment, I certainly felt lucky.

“The
Midnight after the Evening Before”

Infatuated, was that how I felt? Satisfied, cloud nine,
twitterpated, wow, bewitched, smitten…? Whatever it was that I was feeling, I
hadn’t felt this way for quite some time—and I liked it.

I drove home slowly. I wanted to ensure that my wife would
be asleep, otherwise she would have questions, and I wasn’t all that good at
covering things up. It wasn’t like she cared all that much anyway. Things had
been pretty cold lately, but still, and then again….

After thirty-five years I was more confused than ever.

I stopped at a taco place and went inside. It was warm there
and not all that busy, because after all, it was almost midnight. I ordered on
the cheap and sat down and ate. I wasn’t all that hungry, really. I just wanted
to waste a little time.

As if in a dream, I reflected back on the evening. I hadn’t
really known if I would stay five minutes or five hours, but I was glad it had
been the latter. I had never done anything like this in my life before, not
even anything close, but for some reason I didn’t feel guilty about my actions,
not bad in the least, and it didn’t make any sense. I had always held true to
my values, and tonight it seemed I had strayed. But I felt happy and guiltless,
and my conscience didn’t bother me at all. And Callii, oh Callii, she was so
warm and so sweet. I couldn’t get her out of my mind.

Some kids wandered in, a boy and a girl. They seemed to be
in love. They both ignored me, as if I was just some lonely old man, all by
himself in the taco shop at midnight. I guess they were right. I went back to
the car and headed for home. If I was lucky, Mary would be asleep.

From Levi Stone

Dec 16th

Good morning straight-arrow Callii, thanks for showing me
your beautiful home last night, though I have to admit that your roommate was a
little bit scary. And thanks for showing me your soft side. I found it to be
very much so.

Your friend forever, Levi

***

From Callii Wilson (Ten hours later)

Good afternoon to you brother Levi, do you want to take a
nap about now? I know that I do. I’m sitting at the play land at McDonald’s
right now. I haven’t had this much fun since last night. You should get to bed
early tonight. Who knows, you may get lucky. I know I will.

Thinking of you, Sister Callii

***

From Levi Stone Dec 16th

Hi Sister Jo, I spent tonight with my sister Sherry at the
family party in St. Anthony. It was a lot of fun but I’m tired now and I’m
going to crash.

I spoke with a sixty two year old grandma of two at work
today. She lived in Rock Springs, Wyoming, of all places. I mentioned I knew a
grandma who was tired of tending grandkids, and she said something interesting.
She said, “That robs you of being their grandmother, then you are just the baby
sitter.” That was an interesting comment, I thought—just something for you to
contemplate.

So you know you’ll get lucky, huh? Is it that Thompson guy
or what? Or is Mary Lou a lesbian? I’m confused. Only one thing is certain
though. You’ll be the only one that gets lucky tonight. I’m going to curl up in
the fetal position on the edge of the bed. I won’t stir for at least seven more
hours.

And so there you are, all the way down in Rexburg, and I’m
way up here in Idaho Falls. Such a waste, but I’ll be thinking of you.

Sleep tight oh fortunate one, Brother Levi

P.S. Mary and I are the narrators in the Christmas play on
Sunday. Imagine that. Have fun at your Christmas program Sister Wilson. I’ll
write more soon.

P.P.S. Does it seem like last night even happened, or was it
just a dream? I better get to bed so I can dream again, Levi

From Callii Wilson

Dec 17th

Good evening Bro. Stone, it has been quite the day today. My
son called his wife and said he isn’t coming home for Christmas after all, and
he wants a divorce. She called me while I was at dinner with a friend. She was
very upset and I don’t blame her. I am pretty upset myself, but I can’t talk to
my son because he never returns my calls. I think he has gone off the deep end.

I have started reading my first book. I can’t remember which
one you told me to read first, so I am reading the one called “Carnival”. You,
my friend, are very talented. I am really enjoying it. I wish I had more time
right now to read it faster. After Christmas I should have more time for such
things.