The Widow's Friend (23 page)

If you’re like most folks you’ll plan on leaving early
tomorrow but won’t get away as early as you would like to. I expect you to get
home late in the day. My emotions have been all over the place while you’ve
been away. Highs and lows, periods of zoning out, like I’m on an anti-depressant
or something. I sometimes think of Marty McFly in the movie “Back to the Future”
when the band is playing Earth Angel. His future parents are dancing and he’s
fading in and out of reality as he waits for them to kiss. I’ve faded in and
out a bit too. I miss you.

I haven’t tried to send too much romance stuff since you’ve
been down there. I have this fear that one of your kids might grab your phone
and see something that might embarrass you. I’ve been a bit afraid of harming
your reputation lately. I deserve what I get for anything that I do, and I
really mean that. A man has to stand by his actions. But I sense you really don’t
want to be attached to breaking up a marriage, whether you’re responsible or
not, and I don’t really blame you. I can imagine that you have a bit of a
reputation because of your past, some deserved and some not so much. I’m
sensitive to that too, and don’t want you to be harmed. Where do you feel the
most pressure: your dad, your kids, the church, your friends, or all of the
above?

Anyway, I really do want you to know that I’m concerned
about that. And to reconfirm, this bad marriage thing of mine has been brewing
for many, many years. Right now just happens to be the culmination and the now
or never time to act. And we both know how this whole thing between you and I
started, but I’m still not sure why. And come to think of it, you have probably
blabbed more with others than I have, so watch your tongue girl!

I can hear mom’s words of advice ringing in my ears right
now, “Levi, you know what you have to do, so do it!” That’s exactly what my
mother would say.

I have a new clock in the family room. It’s a small memento
for my ten years of service at work. It goes off on the hour with some chimes.
It sometimes startles me how quickly an hour has gone by. It’s eight o’clock
right now. I probably ought to end this but it’s only seven o’clock in
California. You could very probably still be in Disneyland, but you may want to
get Mattie and yourself to bed early tonight. Again, please drive carefully.

And so Jo Jo, I’ll be here waiting for you. And always
remember, I’m just thirty minutes away. And so finally, goodnight to you girl,
and give Mattie a little kiss for me.

Forever and ever amen, Levi

***

From Callii Wilson

Jan 13th

Hello my Friend, I am home. Yea!!!!!!!! It has been a very
long day of driving. I started out at 6:30 this morning, our time, and I got
here about 6:30 this evening. We only stopped for gas and potty breaks. Val was
about 2 and 1/2 hours behind me and Eric went to the beach this morning. He is
only coming as far as Salt Lake City. I had “had it” with little Mattie so I
decided to get her home as soon as I could. She was beyond terrible on this
trip. I don’t know how that little one thinks or why she acts like she does. I
really tried not to react to her bad behavior, but that didn’t work, nor did
anything else. The rest of the kids were so very good, though. They made up for
her I guess. You asked if my kids get along. The simple answer is yes, they are
all best friends and they really enjoy each other’s company.

Now that I am home I have a million and one things to do. I
need to get working on the house so I can have it ready to sell. There are lots
of things to finish up so that I won’t be embarrassed to show it. I ordered
some cupboards for the upstairs attic space so I can turn it into a craft area.
I need to go and pick them up. Do you think I can install them myself? I guess
all I can do is try. I don’t want to spend any more money than I have to
because I am going to be losing money on the deal—lots of money. I have been
very stupid spending so much money on this old house in this rundown
neighborhood.

I have been thinking. Flannel is a slap in the face, huh? I
love my flannel sheets. They are so warm and cozy on a cold winter’s night. I
tried wearing flannel pajamas with flannel sheets once. It’s like being in a
flannel board story. You stick to the sheets and can’t move.

You also stated that you woke Mary up at four in the morning
for recreational purposes. I would shoot you, and so would 99% of the women out
there. Sooooo, I am beginning to think that she is the normal one, and you my
friend….

I think I am going to wait to see your reaction to my last
statement before I go on. You may not want to talk to me again.

Happy to be home, Callii

***

From Levi Stone

Jan 14th

Well, Sister Wilson. I’m certainly glad you showed your true
colors before I did anything I might regret. I must inform you that I totally
disagree with your 99% comment. Frankly, about half the women this side of
eighty would be happy to receive a little sugar at four o’clock in the morning,
or any other time of the day for that matter. It seems like the other half have
peaked out and don’t think that way anymore. They’ve become cold and shuttered
up, like an old haunted house, with only ghosts from marriages past floating
through the hallways of their minds. I’ve peeled off flannel many times over
the years and will do so many times again. Thanks for educating me about the
real you, granny. As for me and half the women out there, we’ll take our sugar
anytime we can get it, and we’ll always be grateful for it. So stay warm in
your flannel sheets, Callii!

Your former hopeful number five, Levi

P.S. You need to get a boy or two to help you hang those
cabinets. They may or may not know how, but they can help you with the heavy
lifting. I still love ya girl, but I couldn’t let you get away with that cutesy
remark.

Still your friend, Levi

“Apprehension”

It had been three days since I’d heard from Callii and I was
beginning to get nervous. Maybe I had overstepped my bounds a bit with the
haunted house comments. She had recently told me that it takes a lot to offend
her, but maybe she can’t take a punch as well as she’d said she could.

It was Monday, late, and there was not an e-mail in sight. I’d
checked three times already and the night was wearing on.

I was fearful. I didn’t think Callii had a clue how much I
liked her, indeed loved her, though I’d tried to tell her so many times.

Callii was the light of my life. She had dug in her heels
and resisted me over the whole time that we’d talked, but only for the right
reasons. She was so wonderful I could hardly think of anything else.

I had just enough strength and resolution to wait for her
reply, but there was nothing else that I could really do. The next move was up
to her.

“From
out of the Blue”

Levi had stunned me. I was just getting back from Disneyland
and was so looking forward to seeing him again, but that e-mail he’d sent. Did
he mean it? He seemed to have. He’d sent a postscript to try and smooth it
over, but the message was so hurtful—he’d cut me to the bone. I needed to think
things over. Maybe this is what I needed to set me straight, get me back on
track, and reorient myself in the right direction. Once I was able to step back
and realize what was going on it became readily apparent that I had needed to.
Levi was a married man and I was a widow, and it was only too obvious there was
danger there. I was lonely and he’d said he was too. Why hadn’t I seen it
before? Probably because I didn’t want to, I guess. He was so nice, and he made
me feel so good, but still, he was a married man. I needed to gather myself,
straighten out, and end this thing. How had all this started, and what was I
doing talking to him in the first place? But he was so…good, and I liked him so
much, but the facts were the facts. I would sleep on it a bit and settle my
mind. But I already knew what I needed to do, in spite of the feelings that I
had for him. I began to cry. Levi had hurt me terribly. My heart ached. I
seemed to hurt from the top of my head to the soles of my feet. I wet my pillow
with my tears, and sleep just wouldn’t come.

From Callii Wilson

Jan 17th

Good evening Brother Stone, it’s Monday evening and time for
a little talk again. How are things going for you? Good I hope. Things here
have been a little too interesting. I woke up yesterday morning to a flooded
basement. It started in the guest bathroom with a faulty flex pipe. The water
must have run all night. Today I had workers tearing my house apart. It is not
fun. I wonder if it will ever be the same again.

You probably think I have been ignoring you lately, and I
guess I have. I owe you an apology for the last email I sent you. I guess the
disadvantage to email is you can’t detect the tone it is intended to give off.
I didn’t mean to be cutesy. I just thought,
why
four o’clock in the morning, when there are so many other hours that are so
much better
. It is really none of my business and I am so sorry.

Now I would like to get some things straight. First of all,
I never intend to remarry. I am sorry if you got the idea that I wanted to. I
do know that I told you that, but you said you would try to convince me
otherwise. I am so glad that by ending things now you won’t regret anything
except maybe wasting a little time on me, and I hope you can figure out what
you want to do with your life. I do suggest you end what you have before you
move on to someone else, if that is what you decide to do. It is only fair to
Mary and whatever other person that you fall in love with. I know I am
preaching, but it is our weekly Monday night chat, so it is okay.

I am surprised and hurt that you would call me a peaked out,
cold, and shuttered up like an old haunted house, with only ghosts from
marriages past floating through my mind, kind of a person. I have always
considered myself a very passionate woman. I have given all of that a lot of
thought the last few days and I still think I have it in me, but that is for me
to find out when the time is right, and with the right person. I have to admit
that you did some very creative writing there though—you really know how to
hurt a girl!

Well, I am glad we were able to renew our friendship, and I
would still consider you a friend if you are up to it. I would really like
that, but don’t feel pressured either way. I will understand.

Good night to you now, from Granny. (I guess you have
figured out that the name fits me now.)

“Thwap!”

Well, there it was, right in front of my eyes. My worst
fears had come to fruition. She’d feigned a head fake by telling me it took a
lot to offend her, but then she’d thrown a left hook and knocked me right to my
knees. Though I’d kind of suspected something like this, the harshness, the
directness, and the finality that she’d laid out in front of me was
overwhelming. But I had no choice really. She’d laid down the law and I knew
there was no trying to convince her otherwise. I needed to man up and go in the
direction that she wanted to, as tough as it seemed to be.

I had been dumped dozens of times in my less than
illustrious dating career, but that was many, many years ago, and I couldn’t
remember anything hurting as much as this did. I couldn’t explain, even to myself,
exactly what it was between Callii and I that made things so heartfelt, but I
had been taken over body and soul. My heart had been captured, and my feelings
for Callii were not only true, but as strong a love as I’d ever felt for
anyone. And now—this! I felt numb. I forced myself to reach for my laptop and
type something out. Somehow I made myself go through the motions, because I
knew she was on the other end, waiting for my reply.

From Levi Stone (Two hours later)

Good evening to you Callii, the Black Widow. I will send you
a few songs over the next few days, just lingering tunes that I’d picked out
and was holding for you. I have also written you my goodbyes in a little note.
I typed it up for you just this evening. I will finalize it over the next few
days and send it off to you then.

Love ya, (I’m sorry but I can’t help it.) Levi

I sent her a Youtube link of the final scenes of “The
Heiress”, an old movie where Olivia de Havilland locks Montgomery Clift out of
her life in a final act of revenge. I at least had enough humor left in me to
do that.

***

From Levi Stone

Jan 18th

Apologies Callii, I know you’re up to your ankles in water
and workers right now, but you only have to put up with me for a couple of more
days, and then I’ll be gone for a very long time. I’ll miss you.

***

And then, beginning that evening and continuing on over the
next few nights, I proceeded to send her about a dozen music links. They were
all about love and romance. A few were about breaking up, but most were tender
and sincere.

In the meantime, on each of the following evenings, I
reviewed my goodbye letter to make sure it was the best it could be. I’d
already screwed things up entirely with one bad and tasteless bit of writing. I
didn’t want to do it again.

***

From Levi Stone

Jan 20th

Hello again, Calliijo, three dots in a row. (And no, granny
still doesn’t fit you.) Here is the goodbye note that I promised you, because
it seems that I’ve finally received my Dear John. This January gets
increasingly colder. It’s unfortunate that one sarcastic little note can create
this kind of damage, but that’s the way life goes, I guess. You told me
recently that you don’t get offended easily, but it seems that I have managed
to find a way. Do you know anyone who would like to buy some cowboy boots? And
now Callii, even though I’ve been kicked to the curb, I know that you’ve done
it for all of the right reasons. Following is as sweet a little note as you’ve
ever sent me, on January the sixth if I remember correctly. It calmed me right
down. But this time seems to be different somehow.