The Weston Front (15 page)

“This relationship isn’t over, Sweetheart.”

Had I said that out loud?  Frowning in confusion, I popped one eye open as a cool, wet wave washed over me.  The nausea subsided and I relaxed…finally. 

“There’s my girl.”

I turned my head and looked up at West, smiling down at me in that handsome way, his arms tight around me as we were both submerged in the river near his house.  I let my head fall back into the cool water.  I just wanted to be washed away. 

But I had to face some harsh realities.  “We don’t have to hate each other,” I said, hardly recognizing my throaty voice.

“Blake…”

“If we stop now and don’t make any promises to each other…we won’t hate each other…”

“Don’t you let that cheating mother fucker ruin your life!” he snapped, looking angry as he peered down at me.

“You…you heard everything?” I whispered, suddenly very ashamed.

“Nothing happens on this ranch that I don’t know about,” he stated, taking a deep breath and shifting me in his arms.  He ran a wet hand over my wet hair. “You don’t waste another second worrying over him.”

I stared at his face.  “What happened to your eye?” I asked, looking at the slight discoloration right above his cheekbone.

“My brother was defending your honor,” he grinned, shaking his head.  “All information I knew, of course…just needed to be reminded.”

“West,” I huffed, water spraying out of my mouth as the river calmly flowed around us.  “If we’ve learned anything in the past couple of days it’s…well, it’s that…I just can’t be in a relationship that I want…”

“And what do you want?” he asked, tilting his head as he looked down at me, water dripping off of his messy, short hair.

You.

I licked my lips and looked down at the clear water, trying to find an easy way to let him out of our arrangement.  “I-I want everyone to leave me alone.”

“Ah, you know how I feel about lying,” he replied in a low voice, shifting me in his arms so that he was lower under the water and my head was slightly above his.  No avoiding eye contact now.

So I looked him right in those aquamarine orbs.  “I’m not putting you through that,” I whispered, inciting a frown from him.  “That…that was hard on me but it was hard on Daniel, too…”

“That’s total bullshit, Blake!” West protested, shaking his head.  “He hurt you and you’re scared of someone pulling that same shit on you again!”

“Yeah, lesson learned asshole!  Isn’t that what you’re all about?  Teaching me lessons?  Well I got the message, okay?  You don’t trust me, and Daniel took my trust all the way to somebody else’s vagina!  And now there’s going to be a kid and you know what?  I’ll never have that!  So yeah, West, I’m scared!  I don’t want to be alone because of something I can’t control!  Are you happy?”

A hand pushed the back of my head right into his shoulder and as much as I fought I couldn’t pull my body away from his.  I gripped his wet shirt in my fists and my shoulders heaved up and down as I cried.  I’d never cried like this in front of Daniel.  Something about West just brought out all of the extremities of my emotions.  And I didn’t feel ashamed anymore.  I felt okay.

He rubbed my wet shirt and spoke softly in my ear.  Mostly apologies, I realized.
 
He was an asshole and he made me feel insecure and he shouldn’t have ever accused me of what he ha
d
.  He continued saying those things until I began shivering from the cold and wet setting of his apology.  He immediately had me out of the river and was walking towards the house.

“Did you smooth things over, you fucking moron?”

I felt a warm, fuzzy towel drape over my body as West carried me into the house through the French doors and I realized Drake was present.

“We both have a lot to be afraid of but…I don’t know if she’s forgiven me, yet,” West said, his voice rumbling in his chest as I pressed my ear to it.  His uncertainty seeped through my skin making me feel horrible, of course, so I tried to throw him a bone.  I knew how horrible someone you cared about could make you feel.

“West, you…th-there’s nothing to forgive.  You were just protecting yourself…”

“Wow, sh
e
doe
s
stutter when she lies,” Drake interrupted from somewhere behind me.

“And she’s cute when she pouts,” West sighed, grinning down at me and my apparently pouty face.  I tried to scowl, but with both men chuckling at me I think I just looked poutier.  “I’m going to have to do a lot of making up to deserve her forgiveness.”

I attempted to divert the uncomfortable attention from me.  “Where’s Daniel?”

“Picking up his teeth,” Drake snapped, coming into view as West turned and I shifted around in his strong arms.

“You hit him?” I asked incredulously.  No one had ever really defended my honor before.  Well, maybe West had.  He smirked down at me.  No, he was just my arrogant lover.  I looked over at Drake in confusion and relief. 

And he kind of read my mind.

“West told me t
o
handl
e
the ‘frat boy fucker’ while he took care of you and made sure you were all right,” Drake grinned, nodding his head at his brother.  “So are you?”

“What?” I answered, shivering in the cold.

“Are you alright?” West softly said, leaning his head down so I had to look at him.

I waited too long to lie so I just came clean.  “I will be.”

The brothers Hamilton accepted my response so they let me off the hook.  Truthfully I had simply had enough at the moment.  Enough self-doubt.  Enough testosterone.  Enough vacation.  I was beginning to feel trapped.

West took me upstairs and put me in a hot bath by myself.  I’m not sure how long I soaked, but it felt nice.  Then he wrapped me in a towel, swaddled me in one of his old Stanford shirts, and curled up next to me in his big bed, flipping on the television.  He was being infuriatingly compliant and quiet…and gentlemanly.

“Most of the guests are leaving early tomorrow morning,” I whispered as a reality show about rich people problems played on the big flat panel screen on the wall.

“Can we talk about that over dinner?” his low voice asked from behind me.  “Just the two of us?”

“S-sure,” I replied, a tear rolling down my cheek.  I couldn’t do that.  I didn’t know what to say or how to act or what to decide.  I had problems…unresolved problems.  And so did he.  We weren’t meant to be.  I hated it, but we weren’t.

Caroline greeted me with a sympathetic smile.  “Are you ready?” she whispered, taking a bag from my shoulder and walking along next to me.

The cool, dry air of the evening made me feel more cold and alone as we walked along the lonely path towards the Transportation Port.  I had to make a clean getaway.  After everything I couldn’t have any sad goodbyes or idle promises to call or make expensive thousand-mile-booty calls.  I just couldn’t do it.

I’d left West napping in his bed.  Caroline assured me that Rowdy was at the final campfire.  We approached the limo, an elderly man loaded my luggage, and I turned and forced a smile at Caroline.

She shook her head and held up her hand, not wanting or needing any explanations.  “I’ll see you tomorrow,” she grinned, hugging me and then turning and walking away.  That was Caroline, not ever one for sappy goodbyes or morality lessons.

I couldn’t look at the ranch as we drove down the winding road.  It was too beautiful, my time there too significant to acknowledge.  I clutched my satchel against my chest for ninety miles, my knuckles aching as I ignored them.  I’d done it.  I’d made a clean break from West.

I couldn’t even think about how I was going to begin to clean up the mess that was waiting for me at home.  Daniel, Angie…a baby.  I would be humiliated.  But it would always be there and I knew I had to face it sooner rather than later.

The driver stopped on the tarmac and I thanked him and took my own bags to the steps up to the jet.  The captain and crew greeted me warmly and took my things as I smiled and thanked them for allowing me to spend the night on the plane.  Then I practically ran to the private suite in the rear of the plane and closed the door, falling face first onto the tan king-sized bed and crying myself to sleep.

The vibrating awoke me from a deep, dreamless sleep.  I felt exhausted and weak.  Who would be calling me at this ungodly hour?  I tried to bring my wrist to my face to attempt to read the glowing digital numbers, but found I couldn’t control my arm.  Had I fallen asleep on top of them again?  I jerked my shoulders around as the bed rattled underneath me. 

Why was the bed rattling?  And that wasn’t vibrating…it was humming.  I tried to open my eyes but my face was buried in the sheets, only allowing me access to a dim glowing through their sheer whiteness.  I didn’t leave a lamp on…and planes only hummed when they were flying.

“Oh shit!” I huffed, suddenly struggling around as the sheets entrapped me.  Why couldn’t I get loose?

“Easy, Sweetheart.”

I stilled at the voice.  I shivered at the endearment.  Weston Hamilton was on the plane and we were flying to…somewhere.

“Don’t.  Say.  Anything.”  His tone offered no room for defiance.

I complied with his demands.  There really wasn’t much I could say, after all.

His hands shifted from my forearms, running up to my shoulders.  The bed dipped as I felt his legs straddle on either side of me as he settled onto my butt.  Truth?  It was pretty exciting.  He’d come after me.  But what would he do?  And where were we going?

“Ah, you’ve been such a bad girl, Blake,” he said in that husky voice.  I became wet immediately.  Damn it.  “You waited until I fell asleep, all secure in our plans to have a discussion about our future, and then you ran away.”

I whimpered under his weight but he ignored me and continued, pinning me to the bed with his weight and a lot of guilt.

“Yes, we have so much to discuss, don’t we, Sweetheart?  You and me, you running from me, my hurtful words…your reasonable doubt.  And all of your cute little lies…”

“I haven’t lied!” I protested, obviously lying as I lay face down and trapped on the bed.

Suddenly his voice was in my ear, all hot and moist.  “A lot of lying to me, and a lot of lying to yourself.  Am I wrong?”

No.
 
“Yes!”

“Why is it so engaging when you fight me?” he mumbled, his lips brushing over my ear.  “You are charming even when you’re naughty.  I’ve never had that in my life before.”

“But you’ve had charming and naughty separately?” I asked sarcastically, unable to help myself.

“So naughty,” he chuckled, shifting to the side but still pinning me with a hand planted on my ass.  I tried to move but I just couldn’t.  He wanted me to stay put, so I had to.

“Look…I was just trying to save us from an awkward conversation and some heartache…”

“You have no idea about my heartache and this conversation will get very awkward if the crew has to come in here and they find you over my knee.”

“West!” I squealed, as he slapped my ass to reiterate his threat.
 
Ouch
.
  Okay, he was totally serious.

“We’re going to start with why you left,” he said, leaning back on his elbow as he lay on his side and peeled the covers back.  His eyes raked down to my white tank top and panties, then back up to my face where they stayed.  Of course.  He had to be a gentleman at that particular moment. “You left because no one could ever be as forgiving of your fertility situation as Daniel, even though Daniel has proven that he simply lied to you and instead knocked up the easiest girl at your high school.”

“N-no…”

“Am I wrong?” he asked, raising an eyebrow.

I sighed and shook my head.  “It’s not that simple.”

“You don’t want to feel the sting of rejection,” he stated, his serious blue eyes boring into me.

“Yes.”

“You don’t think it’s fair to let a guy fall for you when you haven’t disclosed this information.”

I barely whispered, “Yes.”

“And a guy could never love you enough to get past this little hiccup in your body.”

I squeezed my eyes shut and tried to look away.  God, how could he have it so right?  His hand grabbed my shoulder and forced me to lie on my side, face to face with him.  I couldn’t open my eyes, though.  I couldn’t look at him.

“And you feel ashamed about this,” he softly said, his thumb rubbing my bare shoulder.

“Yes,” I choked, holding back as my eyes watered.  How did he know so much about me?

“And you are so caught up in these bad feelings about yourself that you didn’t even hear what I just said,” he whispered, his hand now on my face.  His fingers reached around my neck and held me in place as I tried to back away.

What had he said?

“What did you say?” I asked, looking back up into his eyes.

“That I don’t know how, or why, nor do I even care…I love you,” he smiled, looking hot and attractive and so out of my league.

I closed my eyes and fought that image as I shook my head.  “You don’t love me.  You don’t trust me.  And you shouldn’t.  We barely know each other and…”

“And I’m such a fucking idiot, Blake,” he interrupted, catching my eyes as I blinked them open.  “I don’t deserve your forgiveness for saying that you were a gold-digger, but I want it.  I want it more than anything.  And you shouldn’t trust me, but I want your trust more than I’ve wanted anything…ever.  I know you feel something for me, Sweetheart.  I know it.  And I love you.  I love you and it’s new and scary, but I want to tell you because it feels so good.  I’ve never loved anyone…not really.  And no girl has ever looked at me the way that you do…that way that you are right now.  Those beautiful green eyes, so full of every emotion.”

I quickly frowned and tried anything to change whatever expression I was throwing at him at the moment.  I wanted to believe him.  I wanted to trust him.

He just smiled at me in that arrogant and infuriating way.  “So you ran away from me to your private jet, huh?”

“It’s a time-share jet,” I mumbled, scowling over at his shrewd grin.

“Time-shared by your parents and one other couple,” he added, raising an eyebrow.  God, he really did know everything about me.

“The Fergusons use it way more than we do,” I mumbled, turning my head down into the pillow.  He had me on this one.  My dad ran a pretty successful accounting firm.  Well, very successful.

He quickly took my chin in his hand and turned my face towards his.  “You worked at the paper, you were let go, and you missed your house and car payments one month before your dad figured out your situation and hired you on as a consultant,” he stated, shaking his head.  “And that’s why your credit score went down.  You couldn’t make any payments without a job and you were too proud to ask your rich parents for help…”

“I wasn’t proud!” I snapped, jerking my head back from his hand.  “I was…I was trying to make it on my own.”  I shook my head and looked away.  “I can’t even d
o
tha
t
right.”

“Do you think I got here on my own?  By denying my family name?” West snapped.

I frowned over at him, saying, “Yeah, but at least you got there.”

“I’m in my thirties, Sweetheart.  You’re four years out of college.  Give yourself a break.”

“Honestly, right now I just want to survive.”

“Survive what?” he asked, looking angry.

I exhaled and replied, “My life…what I have to face when I go home.”

“You don’t give that asshole any power, do you hear me?  He fucked up.  Not you!” West growled, frowning and tensing all around me.

“I can’t change the way people look at me!” I huffed, getting angry that he was getting angry.

“You can stand up for yourself and not just take it lying down!  I know I told you to move in here with me, but you can still show some semblance of independence when you go back and not take shit from anyone!”

“Fine,” I grumbled, narrowing my eyes at him.  “You want to go there?  We’ll go there.  Where the hell do you get off telling my pilot to take us somewhere?  I was just sleeping here until Caroline came tomorrow morning!  She needs a ride home!”

“Well,” he smirked, brushing a strand of hair off of my face as he calmly lay on his side.
“
You
r
pilot i
s
m
y
friend from Stanford.  I went to grad school and he went into the air force.  We still communicate.”

I groaned very loudly and slapped my hand over my eyes.  Of course.  Of course the pilot hired to fly my plane on my vacation was a friend with my over-bearing…friend, lover, boyfriend…whatever!  Just my luck!

“We’re just flying to the runway on my ranch, Sweetheart,” he mumbled in my ear, his hand running down my side and around my ass.  “I want him to get used to landing and taking off there.”

“West…”

“What?” he asked, yanking me forward and into his body, his erection right at my stomach.  “I want to hear all of your objections to my love and affections, my sweet, bad little Blake.  Tell me.”

God, I got wet all over again at that.  The endearments, the commands…damn it!  Why couldn’t I control myself?  He suddenly wrapped his arm tightly around me and rolled to his back, taking me with him so that we were lying front to front, face to face.  I couldn’t hide now.

I hung on as long as I could, lying stiffly on top of him.  I couldn’t hold that position long, though.  My knees sank to the bed on either side of him and I shoved my hands into the sheets, locking my elbows so I could look down at him.

“Damn it, West, fine!  Fine!  You are attractive, okay?  Out of my league!  I don’t want to put myself in a situation where I can be blindsided again!  What’s going to stop you when a sweet, naughty, gorgeous girl like Caroline comes waltzing into our lives?  What’s…”

“You have that little faith in me?” he asked, frowning up at me as I lay on top of him.  The look in his eyes was genuine hurt.

“No, West…I have that little faith in my ability to hold onto you…”

He quickly flipped us around so that his weight was on top of me, his hands pinning my wrists by my head as his legs pushed between mine and forced them open.

“So we’re both scared,” he quietly said, rubbing the erection pushing at his jeans over my thin panties.  I bit back a moan as I looked up at his gorgeous face.  “And you think we should just abandon what makes our bodies feel so good and what I know makes our hearts feel so good and not even try?”

I didn’t know what to say.  I wanted to scream at him to just fuck me, but then it would be so hard to leave him.
 
And very unladylik
e
.  I wanted to push him off me, but he felt so good and was so handsome looking down at me.

His hand suddenly left my wrist and shoved between our bodies.  I felt his fingers pull my wet panties to the side and then his cock pressed into me.  I groaned and bit my lip as he slowly entered me, the look of determination and adoration on his face pretty delicious.  God, he was good.  I hadn’t even heard him mess with his buckle or zipper.  Or maybe I was just that lost in his blue eyes.

My free hand wrapped around his neck and I pulled him down to my mouth.  We kissed fiercely as he urgently rocked into me, his muscles tensing into tight cords as I licked the inside of his mouth.  I could do that the rest of my life, that was for sure.

“God, I love you, Blake,” he moaned, closing his eyes and kissing me again.