The Wall of Winnipeg and Me (48 page)

With a plate of food he’d cooked for me on my lap and a bottle of coconut water in between his massive thighs and an empty glass on my nightstand, I was going to tell Aiden I loved him.

I loved him. I loved him so much I would do just about anything for him. I loved him enough to risk spending the next four and a half years of my life with a man who would more than likely divorce me and move on with his career.

Because fuck it, what was life if you didn’t live it and make the most out of it? What was life without loving someone who cared about you a lot more than he cared about anyone else? That was my truth. Aiden had hugged me and told me he was proud of me in front of reporters and strangers alike, when he held on to his privacy with both hands.

And it hadn’t been fake.

I could do this.

I would.

Because I would rather tell him than spend the rest of my life wondering about what would have happened if I told him he meant the world to me. That he was the first new person in my life I completely trusted. That I could settle for being number two in his life until he had more time.

So I said it, even though my fingers were gripping the plate so hard I was worried it would break. I made myself look him in the eye as I did it. “I was going to tell you… I was going to tell you that I love you. I know you said you don’t want a relationship, and I know things between us are super complicated—”

The plate in my hands was taken away.

“—but I love you. I’m sorry I’m not sorry. I didn’t
want
to be—”

“Vanessa.”

“I don’t want to be someone’s number two or number three priority because sometimes I like to be greedy—”

“Van.”

“—but I can’t help how I feel. I’ve tried to stop, I swear. But I couldn’t.”

Then it came. “Shut up.”

I closed my mouth and frowned at the bearded face frowning down at me.

“Did you listen to anything I told you when you finished your run? I’ve missed you. I’ve missed you so much you can’t begin to comprehend how much. I didn’t want to leave you. I kept trying to talk myself out of going. Why do you think I never brought it up?”

Now that had me thinking. “But… you didn’t say anything when you left. You took Leo.”

“You didn’t ask me to stay.” He squeezed my hands. “I took Leo because I couldn’t take you. I assumed you wanted to stay with Diana and do your marathon because you didn’t feel the same. I was going to ask you to come with me.”

“You were?”

That handsome, wonderful face leaned closer to mine. “How do you not know that you mean the world to me? I haven’t made it clear enough?”

“I don’t know,” I stuttered. “Do you love me?”

His gaze was so intent the entire world seemed to stop. “You tell me. I never stop thinking about you. I worry about you all the time. Every beautiful thing I see reminds me of you. I can’t finish my practices in Colorado without wishing you were around,” he said in a steady tone. “You tell me what I feel.”

With a burst of strength I didn’t think I had in me, I made myself get up to my knees and leaned over to press my mouth against his.

And I wasn’t surprised when Aiden instantly wrapped an arm around my lower back and pulled me into him, his mouth tilting to the side and opening. With a swipe of his tongue across my bottom lip, I opened my mouth and let it brush against mine, slow and hesitant, exploratory.

Aiden kissed me like… good lord, like we were having slow, intense sex. At least the kind of slow, intense sex I’d seen in porns before.

Our chests were sealed against each other’s, his arms were around me and my hands were in his hair, and we just kissed. We kissed and we kissed and we kissed the shit out of each other like we did that day in his room before everything.

It could have lasted for five minutes or it could have been for twenty, but when he finally pulled his mouth away, I let out a cry right onto his mouth.

Aiden’s sigh wafted over my chin as he planted that sexy, full mouth on one side of my jaw and then the other, his palms cradling the sides of my ribs possessively. “Your door is open and Zac is here,” he said into my skin.

“Damn it,” I whispered.

He chuckled. “Later. I promise.”

“You do?”

He hummed and kissed my cheek. “Finish eating.”

I
woke
up on my side hours later. So many hours later it took me a second to remember where I was. Why I was where I was—Aiden’s bed. After I ate another small meal, I’d gone to his room and laid down, asking if Leo was fine with Leslie, who had stayed on babysitting duty with the precious blond prince in Colorado. I remembered getting really tired and beginning to doze off.

Apparently, he hadn’t kicked me out of his bed and had instead tucked me in, and at some point in the night—or maybe he’d done it from the beginning—Aiden had come up behind me and wrapped an arm around my waist.

Which was exactly where and how I found myself in that moment.

I was awake, on my side with Aiden directly behind me, grinding his erection into my bottom as his hand snuck between my legs; those fingers were touching me low. Low. Right where my entire body centered. Right where I could tell how wet and anxious I was after so long.

How long has this been going on?
I asked myself before I accepted that it didn’t matter.

I was squirming, moving my hips at the sensation behind me and in front of me. The long pipe under his clothes pressed hot against my butt; strong fingertips rubbed over the thin cotton of my panties and pajama pants. That big chest I admired on a daily basis was aligned with my back, molded to it.

He rolled his lower body and I rolled against him. The feel of him big and hard behind me was seriously the most amazing thing in the world. His mouth latched onto the nape of my neck, kissing, then biting where it met my shoulder. I panted. Aiden rubbed me lightly where I wanted him the most and I choked on the sensation, reaching behind me blindly to sneak my hand between our bodies. I cupped him, or as much of him as I could, and stroked up and down over that thick ridge that seemed to go on forever from the base.

“Aiden, please,” I whispered when his fingers circled over the too-damp material covering the seam between my thighs.

He answered by nipping my earlobe before sucking it between his lips.

“
Aiden
,” I repeated, gripping him hard in my hand before adjusting my position and slipping between the elastic of his boxer briefs and the hot skin of his lower abs. The short, bristly hairs at his root tickled my palm for a moment before I wrapped my palm and fingers around his base. My palm slid over from the tip of his erection all the way to the firm sack just below his base. I gave his balls a squeeze before doing the motion all over again. All that silky, hot skin brushing over my hand, his slick, damp tip painting a line over my fingers, palm, and inner wrist.

Without a warning, he yanked the hem of my pants down to my knees, and while I was still reacting to that, the fingers he’d been using to rub over my panties hooked onto one side of the scrap covering me, and he tugged the material over. “Yes?” he asked, brushing a big, blunt finger over my exposed sex.

“Yes.” What else was there to say? To beg for?

His hips withdrew from my backside before he returned, the mushroomed tip I’d been rubbing a second before prodded at me from behind.

Drawing my knees up to my chest as much as I could without doing anything to the pants knotting my legs together, I stayed on my side. He nudged his penis a little more at my opening, prodding with the not-so-small head below his waist before I opened my leg a little… and he surged. In. Inside of me. Hot, long, and so fucking hard I might have choked a little.

Slowly, he stroked his way inside, channeling his way into me.

Slowly, I pushed back and sucked in a breath when he bottomed out.

The swift intake of air Aiden took turned into a growl.

Each thrust gained momentum, all the way in, all the way out. Flesh parting around hard muscles, clinging and squeezing. His hand snuck up inside the front of my shirt, over my belly button, up and up until his fingertips pinched a nipple between them. His other hand made its way over my head to grab my hand, holding it in front of me against the bed.

He pumped and pumped his hips, the sound making a slapping noise against my bottom. He hit a spot inside me that was too much, making me squeeze my legs tighter together, only making it that much better.

I tipped my head back and his lips caught mine, kissing me. Ruthlessly, his tongue dove in against mine, consuming everything I had in me. Aiden rolled his hips and pounded. His kissing was relentless. His fingers going from one breast to another, rolling and pinching the small nubs that wanted him more and more every second.

“I want to come inside you,” he whispered into my ear.

That was all it took. I cried out. Coming. Coming.

Then Aiden groaned, low and sexy, he thrusts faster, more relentless and offbeat. His hips slapped mine, the noise wet and almost sloppy. With one more solid push, he thrust in completely and made this hoarse sound as he came, holding me to him so close and warm. The place where we met was wet as his erection twitched and pulsed inside of me.

I kissed him, swallowing his groans, enjoying the way he involuntarily moved inside of me. With a gasp, he pulled his mouth away, his hand letting go of mine to latch around my chest, pulling me into his frame, letting me love the feel of him warm and a little sweaty around me. He was panting. Hugging me. That big body wrapped around me, his penis only slightly softening.

I couldn’t find a single word to say that would be appropriate for what I was feeling right then, much less come up with a sentence that would do the moment justice. Settling my head under his chin, I let out a rattled exhale of exhaustion. Aiden’s hand cupped my breast, his mouth lingering at the space below my ear. I was boneless, painless, ecstatic, and relieved. When his palm squeezed my breast, I tipped my head back and searched for his mouth. Aiden, in that way of his that always knew everything, found my lips. His tongue met mine, tasting, exploring, savoring.

As the minutes dragged on, Aiden hardened. I felt that thick muscle inside of me lengthen, and continue getting longer, driving me instinctively back toward his hips, driving him deeper. Filling, so damn filling. But it was more than that elemental need for an orgasm that turned me on. It was Aiden’s body, his warmth, his mouth, the way every part of him was big and how perfectly in control of himself he was.

I loved Aiden. I more than loved him, and that made all the difference.

When he pulled out of me at the same time he ripped his mouth away, this noise that sounded like a whine came out of me for only a split second as his hand trailed down the front of my thigh. “Come here,” he said in that rocky rough voice that was lower and huskier than normal. He ran his hot palm up my hamstring before palming one of butt cheeks. “I want you on top of me,” he whispered. “I need you,” he used the same words he’d used on me so many months ago.

I didn’t need to be told twice. Getting to my knees, I went to his side, a little nervous, a little shy despite what we’d just done. Aiden was sprawled on his back, his boxer briefs were caught on his massive thighs just below the pink sac I’d been fondling minutes ago. Nestled into the base of rich brown pubic hairs, his swollen penis bobbed shiny and wet with his come and mine down to the root, the shaft mauve-colored against the trail of dark hair starting at his belly button.

“You are the sexiest man I’ve ever seen,” I blurted out, shaking my head as I took his lower body in again.

The small smile that crossed his face sent a shiver down my spine. He reached forward and brushed the pads of his index and middle fingers along my two lower lips. “You have no idea what you do to me, Van. No. Idea.” He repeated the motion. “Do you want to know how many times I’ve jerked off to you in this bed? In the shower? Every day I wanted a little more from you and a little more, and it hasn’t been enough.”

Good grief.

The only thing I knew for sure I wanted in that moment was his shirt off. He must have been thinking something along the same lines because his fingers went to my shirt. Before I knew it, it had been thrown to the floor, my underwear tugged off and flying in the same direction. As Aiden pulled his shirt over his head, I pulled his boxers down those muscular legs taking my time to touch those impressive muscles, my thumbs streaking up the inside of his thighs on the way back up.

Without a word, with those eyes burning a path all over my breasts and face, Aiden sat up reaching for my hips. His lips caught my nipple in the process. I was on my hands and knees straddling him a moment later, dragging the seam between my legs over the straining erection at the center of that endless body.

And then I was reaching back, aligning that broad tip against me, fully aware of how wet I was from him coming in me and loving the idea he didn’t care. His moan got lost in mine as I sank onto him slowly, his mouth hovering over the nipple he’d been sucking on. Aiden’s hands guided me to move over him. His lips urged me on, catching one breast and then the other, moving to the space between them with peppered kisses.

When I rocked back, sheathing him in me completely, Aiden laid flat on his back. His chin went high, the tendons along his neck straining. I swallowed up the sight of him naked, those wide shoulders against the pale gray of his covers, his sculpted pectorals rising and falling with his choppy breathing. My two favorite things to take in were the ridged muscles of his six-pack flexing on and off, and seeing my thighs along his hips and sides.

I couldn’t stop myself from leaning forward, planting one hand on the mattress beside his head, the other going to the center of his chest, his skin was hot, his muscles hard. One of his hands went up to cup the back of my head, bringing my face down for him to catch me in an open mouth kiss. We were in that position, still linked with our lips when he started drilling his hips up. We were still making out when I came, my inner muscles rippling, lost in my orgasm, when his penis twitched and he let out a hoarse groan, coming again.