The Wall of Winnipeg and Me (41 page)

He didn’t wave back, and I wasn’t totally surprised. A male broken heart was a difficult thing to come back from.

So I did the only thing I could think of that he would understand, I lowered my waving hand, placed it in front of my belly and I raised up my middle finger like I had all the other hundreds of times I’d done it in the past when I thought he wasn’t looking.

And with his helmet still on, The Wall of Winnipeg shook his head, and I knew that was pretty much a laugh.

“Hey, you don’t fucking flip off Aiden Graves!” an angry male voice yelled at me from down my row.

I looked over, ignoring Zac’s closely looming body, more than likely preparing himself to defend my honor, and gave the man defending Aiden a calm smile. “He’s my husband.”

In the blink of an eye, the rough, older man who had yelled completely cooled down. I caught him taking a peek at my hand, where sure enough, my brand new ring was. I found myself looking at it at least twenty times a day and touching it another twenty times. I still couldn’t believe he’d given it to me. “You shitting me?” he barked.

“No.” I had a Graves jersey on.

“Oh.” Just like that, it was fine. “Carry on.” The man paused and seemed to think for a moment. “Would you tell him Gary from Denton hopes he doesn’t leave this shitty team? Excuse my French, but we’re fucked without him.”

What else was I supposed to say? “Okay. I will.” But by the time I glanced back at the field, the big guy had disappeared.

“That was awful,” Zac deadpanned.

The scoreboard was still lit up, mocking fans and the players who had by that point disappeared.

31-14.

Sheesh.

“I think we need to get the hell out of here,” Zac said from behind me as two people in the stands about five rows up started yelling at each other.

Yeah we did. “Come on,” I said, pointing toward where we needed to go. He put his hand on my shoulder and followed after me.

I squirmed my way through the masses walking up the stairs en route to the exit. The fans were so loud my ears ached. Fully conscious of the two passes in my pocket, I turned around by the concession stands as I found a small area that was out of the way of the human traffic trying to exit.

“Are you going to the family room?” he yelled so I could hear him.

The score loomed in my head and I shrugged. “I don’t know. Do you want to go?”

Zac shot me a look that reminded me of Aiden’s favorite one. “No.” That had been a stupid question, but he was kind enough not to point it out. “But you should.”

Going up to my tippy-toes, I said into his ear, “I don’t think he’d want to see me right now.”

He stepped back and clearly mouthed, “Go.”

I took a step toward him again. “I don’t like the idea of just dumping you and making you drive home alone,” I explained. “Plus, what if he doesn’t want to take me home?”

“Get outta here, Van. You’re not dumpin’ me, and we both know how Aiden’s takin’ this right now. Go. I might getta drink before I get home, but call if you need me.”

Yeah, I wasn’t feeling very optimistic or hopeful. I knew Aiden. I knew how he got after losses, especially a playoff loss that tanked so badly. Sure, maybe I’d slightly amused him by flipping him off, but I was pretty worried about going to see him.

Well shit. What was he going to do? Yell at me?

I didn’t consider myself a coward. Screw it.

With a hug and a promise that he wouldn’t drive drunk, I took the long way toward the family room. Security was tighter than usual, but I finally made it to my destination to find the family room overflowing with people. Small groups bundled together, faces grim, some forcefully bright, but mostly, it was a bunch of ‘aww shit.’

I wasn’t the only one sort of dreading seeing the person they were there for.

My thing was, I just wasn’t sure if Aiden would even want me around despite giving me a pass. He’d hinted that he wanted me to go to the game, but now that they’d lost… I palmed the peppermint patty I’d stuck in my pocket just in case. The man he used to be would have wanted to be alone, but this Aiden, the one I knew now… well, I wasn’t sure.

On the other hand, if he didn’t want to talk to me, if he would rather be by himself, I would understand. I wouldn’t hold it against him. I wasn’t going to let it hurt my feelings or bother me.

This was a business deal. We were friends.

That sounded about as hollow in my head as it felt in my heart. The season was over. What was he going to do now?

So it was that uncertainty that kept me in the corner by the hallway so I could keep an eye out and catch Aiden before he left.

Not long after I settled into my spot on the far side of the room, and after I’d waved at a few of the women who had been friendly with me in the past, a couple of players started trickling out of the locker room. More minutes passed and more men came out. But none of them were Aiden.

Rubbing my hands over my pants, I started messing with my phone, checking to see nothing really. I just hated standing there by myself. Shuffling from foot to foot, my thumb rubbed at the side of my wedding ring set, the slightly rounded edge of the stone an easy distraction as more guys came out, some of them glancing in my corner, but most of them heading straight toward their loved ones. As the minutes passed, the room emptied out, and I was left trying to decide how long to wait until I called a cab. Ten more minutes maybe? Zac had to be long gone by then, and I definitely wasn’t going to call Diana to come pick me up. According to her last text message two hours ago, she was spending time with her boyfriend. Yuck.

Rubbing my hands on my jeans again, I swallowed and waited. Then I started messing with the zipper of my jacket. Up and down. Up and down.

Ten minutes and still no Aiden. Three-fourths of the room had to have cleared out by that point.

I pulled out my phone and searched for the number to the taxi company. With a sigh, I glanced up just as I was about to hit the call icon on the screen, and spotted the big, dark-haired man coming down the hallway. His face was a cool mask that said, ‘Get out of my fucking way and don’t talk to me.’ The way he held his shoulders and the stern purse of his mouth said the same thing.

Well, shit.

For a second, I thought about keeping my mouth shut and hitting that call button but… I was there, wasn’t I? And I trusted him not to embarrass me.

I thought.

“Aiden?” I called out, a lot softer than I expected, and wanted.

Those dark eyes flicked from the floor to eye level before his even stride faltered and he paused in the hallway. He’d worn a suit to the game that day and the two-piece charcoal gray looked great. It was only the duffel hanging off his shoulder making him look like the Aiden Graves I knew—the one who didn’t feel comfortable in anything other than his favorite ten-year-old hoodie, shorts, and runners. A crease formed between those thick slashes called his eyebrows for only a second, before I could think twice about what I was doing, I waved.

More waving. Help me.

The corner of his mouth twitched, and I knew I’d made a mistake. I shouldn’t have come. I should have left with Zac.

His nostrils flared at the same time he took another step forward, and another, no words coming out of his mouth.

I was so dumb. So damn dumb. What had I done thinking that all those little things he’d been saying and doing actually might have meant something? Just because we’d told each other things that I was sure we hadn’t told anyone else, didn’t mean we were more than friends. You could trust someone and not be their friend… couldn’t you?

At the last second, he stopped in front of me. A foot taller than me, so much wider, Aiden was… he was huge. His presence was overpowering.

His body radiated heat and that wonderful clean scent of his skin; I swallowed as he stood in front of me. The swallow turned into a shaky, uncertain smile. “Hi, big guy. I wasn’t sure if you wanted me to come back or not, but—”

“Stop.” Aiden ducked his face at the same time those massive hands came up. One went to my cheek, the other went to cup the back of my neck. He kissed me.

Aiden kissed me.

His bottom lip went to my top one, his grip reassuring and unyielding as he dragged his mouth to kiss me fully. And I did what any sane person would have done: I let him, and I pressed my lips to his instinctively. Our mouths met in a peck that was followed by a big, guttural sigh fanning over my neck for a moment, his forehead pressing against mine.

Okay
. All right.

Okay.

I didn’t know what the hell had just happened, but I wasn’t about to let myself overthink it.

My heart beating, I tipped my mouth up to kiss him the same way he had me, my hand reaching to touch the side of his neck. Dropping back to my heels, his forehead followed mine down. I drew my hand over to knead his thick trapezius muscles, copping a feel for what may or may not be the first and last time I would ever be able to.

I wanted to ask him if he was okay, but I knew the answer.

The deep sigh coming out of his chest told me what I needed to know. So I reached up with my other hand and began kneading the other side of his neck. Sure, he had trainers who did this, and he had enough money to pay a professional, but I massaged the tops of his traps anyway. The people surrounding us seemed so insignificant and small in that moment, in life in general, that I didn’t care they were around.

“That’s nice,” Aiden kind of whispered.

I only dug in harder with my thumbs, earning a small smile from the man who passed them out like they were golden tickets to
Willy Wonka’s Chocolate Factory
. I swore he was grumbling with pleasure like a big bear. “Better?” I asked once my fingers began to get tired, drawing my palms across his shoulders.

He nodded. “Much.”

“I’ll make you dinner when we get home. What do you say?”

“I’ll say okay.”

“Are you ready to go?”

He nodded once more, the small amount of pleasure on his face slowly draining.

Stepping back, I hesitated. Had I done too much? Was he already regretting kissing me? Which was stupid because if I gave myself the chance to think about it, I’d know Aiden didn’t do things he would regret…. Unless it was what he’d done to me before I quit. But I didn’t let myself think about it. “Do you mind giving me a ride, big guy? Zac took off.”

“He brought you?” he asked as he raised his chin, his gaze meeting my face.

I nodded.

“I’ll take you.” I smiled distractedly and let him lead me through the hallway, blatantly ignoring the teammates we passed, and nodding only at the venue’s employees who greeted him or wished him a good night.

Reaching his SUV, he unlocked the doors and opened the front passenger door, waving me in and closing the door behind me. By some miracle, I managed to keep my level of dumb-face to a minimum. Afterward, he threw his bag into the back and got inside. The silence wasn’t necessarily heavy on the drive home. I knew he must have had a hundred different things going on in his head, and I wanted to let him have his space.

Leaning my head against the window, I yawned and thought about all the things I needed to do when I got home, so that I wouldn’t think about the things I had no business putting too much thought into. Like that kiss in front of his teammates’ families and Three Hundreds’ staff.

“What are you thinking about?” Aiden asked out of the blue.

“I was just thinking about everything I need to pack for my trip to Toronto. Remember I told you I was going to that convention?” I explained. “What about you? What are you thinking of?” I asked before I could think twice about why I would ask him something I didn’t actually expect him to answer.

But he did.

“How ready I am to move on with my life.”

“You mean switch teams?” I grasped onto that with two hands. I could easily imagine how hard it was for him to be such a good player on such an inconsistent team. How could it not be discouraging?

He made a noise deep in his throat, his attention focused on the road ahead of him.

“Have you talked to Trevor about it anymore?”

“No. Last time we talked, he said there wasn’t a point in making plans until the season was over. He knows what I want to do. I don’t want to keep repeating myself. If he wants to pay attention, he can; if he doesn’t want to, he knows my contract with him is going to end right before I’m eligible to sign with another team.”

Huh. “Do you… know where you want to go?” I realized why we hadn’t talked about this topic before. He wanted to focus on the season, not on the what-ifs that would all take place afterward. But suddenly, there seemed to be so much pressure and focus on all the possibilities. The moving. The future.

Casually, casually, casually, he raised a shoulder. “How do you feel about heading up north?”

North? “How far north are we talking about?”

Those coffee-colored eyes peered at me over his shoulder. “Indiana… Wisconsin…” he threw out.

“Ah.” I looked forward to collect my words and put them in an order I wouldn’t regret. “I can live just about anywhere. I’ll just have to buy better winter clothes.”

“You think so?” Why did his voice sound so amused all of a sudden?

I snorted. “Yeah. Some winter boots, a scarf, and some gloves, and I’ll be fine. I think.”

“I’ll buy you a dozen jackets and winter boots, if that’s what you need,” he threw out there in a tone that was getting more amused by the second.

It made me perk up a little bit. “You don’t need to do that. You do enough for me as it is, big guy.”

His fingers drummed the steering wheel and he seemed to shake his head. “Van, I’ll buy you a jacket or ten if I want. We’re in this together.”

Ovaries. Where were my ovaries?

“Aren’t we?” Aiden suddenly asked in a hesitant voice.

I lifted my head off the window and really turned to look at him. There was something so devastating about his profile it was annoying. There was something about
him
that was so great it was annoying. He was so dumb sometimes I couldn’t handle it. “Yeah. Of course. We’re Team Graves.”

He made an amused sound and I suddenly remembered what I’d kept making myself put off asking him. “Hey, are you… when are you going to Colorado?” I mean, the season was over. The last two years, he’d left as soon as he was able to, yet this year, he hadn’t said a word to me. Then again, why would he? I wasn’t the one leasing out a house or making plans to rent a car or anything.