The Virgin Blue (26 page)

By the time Etienne and the boys arrived the man was sitting over a bowl of stew at the newly scrubbed table. He ate quickly, mouth close to the bowl. When he finished he raised his head.

— We will need two more men to lift it.

Etienne nodded at Petit Jean.

— Go and find Gaspard, he said.

While they waited Etienne explained how he would build the chimney.

— First I will dig a bed for it to lie in so it will be even with the floor, he said.

Hannah, who had been standing behind Etienne, took the man's bowl and refilled it, then set it in front of him with a bang.

— Why don't you dig it now? he asked. Then we can set the stone right away.

— It would take too long, Etienne replied uneasily. The ground is still frozen, you see. I don't want to make you wait.

The man kicked at the floor.

— It doesn't feel frozen to me.

— It's still very hard. I have been in the fields and not had the time to dig. Besides, I thought you were coming later. After Easter.

That's not true, Isabelle thought, staring hard at Etienne, who kept his eyes on the floor where the man had kicked a small hole with his toe. Gaspard had told them to expect it before Easter. It was rare to hear him lie so blatantly.

The granite man finished the second bowl. — Your women have no problem cooking on this fire here, he said, jerking his head at the flames in the corner. Why change it?

Etienne shrugged.

— We are accustomed to having a chimney.

— But you are in a new country now. With new customs. They should become yours too.

— Some old ways stay with us always, wherever we go, Isabelle said. They are a part of us. Nothing can replace them completely.

They all stared at her, an ugly look crossing Etienne's face.

Why did I speak? she thought. I know keeping silent is the best way. Why did I say such a thing? Now he will beat me, just like during the winter. And he may hurt the baby. She touched her belly.

When the men arrived Etienne became too busy to act on his anger. It took four of them, all strong men, to lift the slab from the cart and stagger inside with it, where they leaned it against the wall just inside the door. Jacob ran his hands up and down it. Marie spread herself against it as if it were a bed.

— It's warm, Maman, she said. Like home.

Easter was a time of redemption, when the hardship of the winter was explained. Isabelle got out their black clothes for the church service and changed with an easiness she thought she had lost.

This is called hope, she thought. This is what I had forgotten.

She had wondered if Etienne would forbid her to go to church for saying what she had to the granite man, but he did not mention it. Her boldness in speaking was balanced by his lie.

She helped Marie into her dress. Her daughter was fidgety, jumping around the room, laughing to herself. When it was time to go she took Isabelle's hand, Jacob the other, and the three walked down the narrow path side by side, following Etienne and Hannah, Petit Jean running ahead.

Isabella dared not think about the Virgin at Chalières. It is enough that I go to the first service and see others, that I walk in the sunshine, she thought. I will not expect more.’

At the end of the morning service at Saint Pierre Etienne simply turned toward Gaspard's house without speaking to Isabelle; the rest of the family fell in behind him. Pascale came up and walked beside her, smiling.

— I am glad you are coming to the second service, she whispered. It is good that you are here today.

At the house Isabelle sat next to Pascale by the fire and listened to gossip from the winter that she had known nothing about.

— But surely you know all this! Gaspard cried each time he told a new story. Hannah must have heard about this when she came to bake bread – surely she told you! Oh! He put a hand to his mouth, too late to stop the words, and glanced at Hannah, who was sitting next to Etienne on the other bench, her eyes closed. She opened them and looked at Gaspard, who laughed nervously.

— Eh, Hannah, he said quickly, you know all the gossip,
n'est-ce pas
? You can hear, even if you can't talk.

Hannah shrugged and closed her eyes again.

She is getting old, Isabelle thought. Old and tired. But she can still speak, I am sure of it.

Petit Jean soon disappeared with a neighbour's sons, but Jacob and Marie hung around restlessly, both with shiny, expectant eyes. At last Pascale said in a high voice: — Come, I'll show you the new kids. Not you, Isabelle. Just these two. She led the two children to the barn.

When they reappeared they were giggling, Marie in particular. She walked around the room, head held high as if she were wearing a crown.

— What were the kids like? Isabelle asked.

— Soft, Jacob replied, and he and Marie burst into laughter.

— Come here,
petit souris
, Gaspard said, or I'll throw you in the river!

Marie shrieked as he chased her around the room and, catching her, began to tickle her.

— She'll never keep quiet during the service if you do that, Etienne said stiffly.

Gaspard abruptly let Marie go.

Pascale returned to sit next to Isabelle. She had a smile on her face that Isabelle did not understand. She did not ask. She had learned not to ask.

— So you will have a chimney soon, Pascale said.

— Yes. Etienne will set the hearth after planting, with Gaspard's help, of course. The granite is so heavy. Then he will build the chimney.

— No more smoke. Pascale sounded envious and Isabelle smiled.

— No, no more smoke.

Pascale lowered her voice.

— You look better than when I saw you last.

Isabelle glanced around. Etienne and Gaspard were deep in conversation; Hannah appeared to be asleep.

— Yes, I've been outside more, she replied cautiously. I've had fresh air.

— It's not just that. You look happier. As if someone has told you a secret.

Isabelle thought of the shepherd.

— Maybe someone has.

Pascale widened her eyes and Isabelle laughed.

— It's nothing, she said. Just the spring and a chimney.

— So the children have said nothing to you.

Isabelle sat up straight.

— What would they say?

— Nothing. We should eat now. It will be time to go to Chalières soon. Pascale got up before Isabelle could say anything.

After eating they walked in an informal procession to the chapel: Etienne and Gaspard leading with Hannah at Etienne's elbow, then the women with Marie holding Isa-belle's hand, and Petit Jean and his friends following in a rough pack, pushing and shouting. Behind them all Jacob followed alone, hands in his pockets, smiling.

They arrived early; the chapel was only half full and they were able to stand close enough to see the minister without difficulty. Isabelle kept her eyes lowered but positioned herself so that she could see the Virgin when she dared to look up. Marie stayed at her side, hugging herself and giggling.

— Maman, she whispered. Do you like my dress?

Isabelle glanced down at her.

— Your dress is the proper thing to wear,
ma fille
. Black for the Holy Days.

Marie giggled, then bit her lip when Jacob frowned at her.

— You are playing a game, you two, Isabelle declared.

— Yes, Maman, Jacob replied.

— No games here – this is the house of God.

During the service Isabelle was able to glance several times at the Virgin. She felt Etienne's eyes on her occasionally, but kept her face solemn, her joy hidden.

Monsieur Rougemont spoke for a long time about Christ's sacrifice and the need to live a pure life.

— God has already chosen who among you will follow His son to heaven, he stated baldly. Your behaviour here indicates His decision. If you choose to sin, to persist in old habits when you have been shown the Truth, to worship false idols – Isabelle dropped her eyes to the ground – to carry evil thoughts, you will have no chance of gaining God's forgiveness. But if you lead lives of purity, of hard work and simple worship, you may yet prove to be one of God's chosen and be worthy of His son's sacrifice. Let us pray.

Isabelle's cheeks burned. He is speaking to me, she thought. Without moving her head she glanced nervously at Etienne and Hannah; to her surprise she saw on their faces looks of fear. She looked the other way and, except for the serene faces of the children, saw the same expression all around her.

Perhaps none of us is chosen, she thought. And we know it.

She looked up at the Virgin.

— Help me, she prayed. Help me to be forgiven.

Monsieur Rougemont ended the service by bringing out the cup of wine and thin wafers for Communion.

— The children first, he said. Blessed are the innocent.

— Go. Isabelle gave Marie a push and she, Jacob and Petit Jean joined the other children kneeling before the minister.

While they waited, Isabelle rested her eyes on the Virgin again. Look at me, she pleaded silently. Show me my sins have been forgiven.

The Virgin's eyes were cast down, focused on something below her. Isabelle followed her gaze to Marie. Her daughter was kneeling patiently, waiting her turn, her black dress pushed up around her legs where she knelt. Underneath, though, there was no white undercloth. It was blue. Marie was wearing the cloth.

Isabelle gasped, turning the heads of her neighbours and of Etienne and Hannah. She tried but couldn't take her eyes off the blue.

Others began to see it too. Nudges and whispers spread quickly through the chapel. Jacob, kneeling next to Marie, glanced back, then down at Marie's legs. He made a move as if to tug Marie's black dress back down, then stopped himself.

When Etienne finally saw it his face went white, then red. He pushed his way through the crowd to the front and pulled Marie to her feet. She looked up at him and her smile disappeared. She seemed to crawl inside herself. Etienne dragged her through the congregation to the door, where they disappeared outside.

Jacob had gotten off his knees and stood motionless in front of the kneeling children, his eyes fixed on the church door. As Isabelle turned to follow she caught sight of Pascale: she had begun to weep.

She pushed her way to the door. Outside Etienne had lifted Marie's black skirt high to reveal the blue one underneath.

— Who gave this to you? Who dressed you? he demanded. Marie said nothing. Etienne pushed her to her knees.

— Who gave it to you? Who?

When Marie still didn't tell him he hit her hard on the back of her head. She fell forward onto her face.