The Upside of Being Let Down (new adult romance - 1) (15 page)

Bryan walked by the bathroom door.
He looked at the light coming from the door. He paused. He touched the door
handle and turned it. Yup, AJ left it unlocked. He swallowed and pushed. The
door opened and a rush of warm steam hit Bryan. Through the shower curtain he
could see the faint silhouette of AJ showering. He watched the way she moved,
picturing how her body must have looked. Even though AJ already warned him
about not making any moves Bryan just admired, nothing more. He heard the sound
of AJ
’
s voice as she
started to sing a little, her voice getting louder every few seconds. Whatever
she was singing Bryan didn
’
t
know. The singing was terrible but it made Bryan smile.

He pulled the door shut and then
knocked.

The singing stopped.

“
What?
”
AJ called.

“
Did
you grab a towel?
”

The shower curtain moved.
“
Uh... no...
”

“
I
’
ll get you one,
”
Bryan said.

Across the bathroom was a storage
closet that Bryan used as an attic, junk room, and linen closet all in one. He
grabbed a towel and opened the bathroom door.

The steam hit him again.

He tossed the towel to the toilet.

“
There
you go, AJ.
”

“
Thanks.
”

Bryan stepped back. He didn
’
t rush out of the bathroom.

AJ finally peered from the curtain,
smiling.
“
Something wrong?
”

“
No,
”
Bryan said.
“
No.
”

His eyes scanned the way the water
hit her hair. How tiny droplets dripped off her face. How her hair looked even
darker, her skin with an almost caramel color. And her eyes radiating.

“
Thanks
for the towel,
”
AJ said.

“
Yeah,
I wasn
’
t sure...
”

AJ reached for the towel with her
right hand, purposely allowing her right breast to become exposed. She squeezed
the towel and stared at Bryan, trying to act innocent, as if she didn
’
t know what she had done.

Bryan closed his mouth and felt his
teeth gritting.

She was teasing him.

She knew how to do it and wasn
’
t afraid.

“
Everything
okay?
”
AJ asked.

“
Yeah,
you
’
re, you,
”
Bryan couldn
’
t make a sentence. He pointed
and shook his head.

AJ looked down and saw her breast.

“
Whoops,
”
AJ said and closed the curtain.

She laughed and Bryan left the
bathroom.

He went into his room and sat down
in the chair. He turned his computer back on, looking at the open files from
his work project. As he stared he knew nothing would take his mind off AJ.

But what the hell were they?

AJ was really cool to be around.
Even with the sexual tension out of the picture. With the sexual tension added,
it was just fun. There was no pressure for Bryan to make the right move at the
right time. It wasn
’
t like
something was supposed to happen. They were just hanging out, two people that
met and began as friends. Or two people that met at a strip club. Because AJ
’
s sister was a stripper. And
Bryan had been there to drive his friends home from a night of drinking.

It seemed crazy.

But it happened.

Bryan pulled up a search engine. He
typed in the name of the club and went to the site. He listened to the sound of
the water running and knew he still had time. When he found Winnie -
Wicked
- he looked the profile they had created for her. The page was sultry, with a
picture of Wicked standing off to the side, her hands cupped over her chest.
Bryan looked at her tattoos and how they worked perfectly for her body. Her
face was deadly, the kind that anyone could fall in love with. The pictures of
her on the site were steamy but none showed her topless. Which made sense.
People would have to pay to see that.

But even still, although Bryan
could see the resemblance between Wicked and AJ, it did nothing for him. He
shook his head wondering what kind of guy would use AJ to get to her sister.

Bryan knew he
’
d never do that, but then again,
he hadn
’
t met AJ
’
s sister and he wasn
’
t dating or with AJ.

They were just...

Something.

The water turned off and Bryan
closed the site. He went back to his worksheets, just scanning through the work
he had done. If all went well, he could give the information to his boss in a
week. In a perfect world if the expansion project was approved, Bryan would be
the one to oversee it. It wasn
’
t
quite the dream job but there was big money behind the scenes at the country
club. It could be a chance to really make money and start a life.

“
Mind
if I get dressed?
”

Bryan turned and looked at AJ
standing in the doorway. Her hair was wet and hung down her shoulders and
towel. The towel was hooked tight just above her chest, AJ holding the towel
with her hands.

She looked calm, relaxed,
beautiful.

“
Yeah,
”
Bryan said.
“
I was just doing some work.
”

“
Dork,
”
AJ said.

“
Thanks.
”

Bryan walked and AJ blocked the
door. There was that flirty moment again. Bryan looked at her, smiling.

“
What
were you working on?
”
AJ
asked almost in a whisper.

“
Work
stuff,
”
Bryan said.
“
My boss wants to expand the
country club. I
’
m helping
with the layout and finances of it.
”

“
That
sounds boring.
”

“
It
kind of is but it could get me a promotion.
”

“
Then
I guess it
’
s worth it.
”

Bryan felt the tension climaxing
between them. He swore that AJ was fucking with him. Testing him. Pushing him.
Maybe even daring him.

“
Some
things are definitely worth it,
”
Bryan whispered.

“
Yeah?
What else is?
”

“
This...
”

Bryan moved down and kissed AJ. He
pressed his lips to hers, only for a second, feeling the warmth of her lips
against his. He pulled away and licked his lips.

“
Worth
it,
”
he said.
“
Sorry I broke your rule, AJ.
”

She looked shocked.

Bryan smiled again.

He touched her waist, feeling the
softness of the towel, but more importantly, that fluffy towel was the only
thing that separated him from touching AJ
’
s
bare skin.

Bryan lifted AJ and moved her out
the way.

He walked down the hall, his face
flush and his body hard.

The more he thought about AJ, the
more he saw AJ, and the more he kissed AJ, he knew she was probably going to be
nothing but trouble for his heart.

But definitely worth it.

(17)

I had to hand it to Bryan. He
cracked when I thought he would crack and he showed me that he did have a set
of balls. Teasing him had been fun but I knew he had to break, right? Every man
would break. That was something I learned the first time I went to the strip
club and watched Winnie and her co-workers doing their job. They could go by a
guy who didn
’
t want to give
them money and they
’
d get
some anyway.

I didn
’
t know why messing with Bryan was so fun. Maybe
because he was the first guy who was nice to me in forever. He acted with
decent intentions, didn
’
t
assume anything from me, talked to me like a human, and didn
’
t bring up my sister. If
anything he seemed less interested in her than me. Which was a complete and
total first. It intrigued me and dare I admit it, it attracted me to him.

Not that I was out looking for a
boyfriend to wrap around my finger though. Bryan was certainly much cooler as a
friend. I liked that we could talk, flirt, and still walk away. But when I saw
him standing in the bathroom, I knew he had those horny guy eyes. Looking for
any excuse to come into the bathroom because he knew I was naked in the rushing
shower. I
’
m not sure what
he thought I did in the shower though... because I literally showered myself.
And to me there was nothing sexy about showering yourself. Cleaning all the
places that needed to be cleaned. He probably thought it
’
d be like some commercial where people clean
themselves while smiling or someone screaming is orgasmic pleasure over the
smell and feel of soap.

So I showed him my boob.

Oh well, right?

It wasn
’
t like he hadn
’
t
already seen them.

The idea of privacy between Bryan
and I was already gone and that was fine with me. It didn
’
t mean we could just walk around
naked or fuck when we wanted, but it certainly took the edge off.

Standing in the doorway to his room
though, seeing him from the side, really got to me. He was a gorgeous guy. The
way his features were outlined, it was like staring at something molded to look
that way. And when he looked at me, he made me feel warm. He honestly stared at
me. Like only I mattered. So I cornered him and he kissed me. And moved me out
of the way.

He left me in his room wearing
nothing but a towel.

Maybe other guys would have kissed
me more. Would have tried to seductively take the towel from my body to take
advantage of the vulnerable girl in their room. And the truth was that I
’
d fall for it all. If Bryan made
comments about my parents, about Winnie, about not having a place to really
live, it would have worked on me. I don
’
t
fear weakness as much as I fear not knowing the truth.

But Bryan didn
’
t do that.

He kissed me, moved me, and left.
Leaving me in a towel, wet, in more ways than one.

I dressed from the boxes that
Angela had put outside my old apartment. I felt useless and dirty. I felt
homeless and like a major fuck up. But after dressing, I stood in Bryan
’
s room and felt warm. I felt
lucky that he had been in the club and had helped me. He had just dropped into
my life. I wasn
’
t sure the
reason why, but I knew it would surface sooner than later. There wasn
’
t any religion between Winnie
and I - for our own good reasons that were up for debate - but there did exist
the belief in fate and purpose. We believed that everything happened for a
reason - good or bad - and that every person in our lives served a purpose.

Our parents, for example, were just
two people who had us, neglected us, and that was about it. Then again, if they
hadn
’
t acted the way they
did to us, Winnie and I would have been two different people. We may not have
been so close. And at the same time, we wouldn
’
t
have been so messed up.

This wasn
’
t the time or place to dig into the perils of time
and think about my life if things had been different. I couldn
’
t collect the seconds of time
that had already been used.

I went to the living room and found
Bryan sitting on the couch.

He looked at me with those eyes
again.

Caring eyes.

Honest eyes.

Sexy eyes.

“
Did
I piss you off?
”
he asked.

“
Not
at all,
”
I said.

“
I
just...
”

“
Shut
up.
”

I sat next to him. He flicked
through the channels but I didn
’
t
really pay attention. I gently worked my way closer to him until our bodies
were touching. My head slowly fell to his shoulder and rested there. It wasn
’
t very comfortable thanks to the
hardness of his muscles. I looked at his arm and knew he wasn
’
t going to do anything. I had
warned him not to so I couldn
’
t
fault him for that.

I lifted Bryan
’
s arm and put it around me.

“
Breaking
your own rules again,
”
he
said.

“
I
’
m allowed to break my own rules,
”
I said.
“
That
’
s
what I
’
m good at. If I
could get paid for that, I
’
d
have an amazing job.
”

Bryan
’
s
fingers started to move, tickling my arm. It felt so good though. My toes
curled and I bit my bottom lip, hoping I didn
’
t
make any noise. I didn
’
t
need to sound like an idiot moaning because a guy touched my arm. My head
sought comfort on Bryan
’
s
chest and I took a deep breath and just like that, the day was off my
shoulders. From talking to Winnie to finding a job to aimlessly driving around
town for hours knowing I
’
d
end up at Bryan
’
s apartment
again but not wanting to actually admit it to myself until I sat in the parking
lot of his apartment, where I sat for almost an hour debating on whether to go
in or not.

I moved my head a little, almost
nuzzling Bryan and sighed.

Bryan
’
s
hand was tight and he turned his body a little, pulling me more towards him.
All the moves were silent, trying to get comfortable without the sexual tension
I had purposely built between us. He was close to lying down and I was still on
his chest. I could hear his heart beating, fast at first, maybe with the wonder
of what would happen, but then it gradually slowed as we were just together.

We didn
’
t need to talk.

We didn
’
t need to constantly fool around either.

We could just be there. Together.

My eyes started to grow heavy and I
blinked fast, trying to keep from falling asleep.

“
Do
you think people care enough to change?
”
I asked.

Bryan didn
’
t answer right away. I looked up half expecting to
see him asleep. But he was wide awake. Thinking.

“
I
don
’
t know,
”
Bryan said.
“
I think people can care. I think
people can care to change... but you have to just want to change. To just shut
up and do it.
”

I put my head back on his chest.
“
Yeah.
”

“
Was
it bad?
”
Bryan asked me.

I knew what he referred to.
“
It was bad enough, I guess. Winnie
and I learned how to survive at a young age. They didn
’
t hit us. They didn
’
t
really hurt us either. They just left us be. Some kids could be in their rooms,
playing with toys, get hungry, and come down to find their mother cooking
dinner... like a normal life. That wasn
’
t
what it was like for us. If we were hungry we needed to find food. The food in
the house was for them, not us.
”

“
They
wouldn
’
t feed you?
”
Bryan asked.

“
They
bought food with their money,
”
I said.
“
That
’
s how it went. So Winnie and I
would have to find a way. Either from friends or stealing it.
”

“
Stealing
food in your own house.
”

“
No.
That we couldn
’
t do. They
locked the doors.
”

“
Your
parents locked the food?
”

“
Yeah.
So we
’
d go to stores and
steal. We were pretty out of control together, Winnie and I. We survived.
”

“
I
’
m glad you did,
”
Bryan said.

He squeezed me and I smiled.

My eyes grew heavy again and I wasn
’
t going to fight it this time.

“
I
’
m really tired,
”
I said.
“
I don
’
t
want to fall asleep on you...
”

“
No,
it
’
s fine,
”
Bryan said in a hurry.
“
Really.
”

“
No...
I don
’
t want to fall asleep
on you, Bryan, I want to fall asleep with you.
”

I sat up and found Bryan
’
s hand. I took it, our fingers
interlocking together. I led him to his bedroom.

We climbed into Bryan
’
s bed and I pulled his body
tight against mine.

He was so strong, so comfortable.

“
Just
don
’
t get hard,
”
I whispered.

Bryan laughed.
“
AJ, you
’
re... just amazing.
”

I left the night at that.

Just before falling asleep I
remembered I had work the next morning. My first day at the new job. My chance
to make a bigger impression on Hope and actually show that I cared about life.
If it were a week ago I would have fallen asleep without setting an alarm and
just chanced it. But after thinking about Bryan and how much he cared about his
job and the fact he was letting me sleep in his bed with him, really wanted to
make an effort.

I set the alarm on my phone.

I needed to be up by quarter after
five at the latest. I needed to be out of the apartment by five thirty.

What I didn
’
t plan on doing though was waking up at three in
the morning to the sound of someone pounding on the door to Bryan
’
s apartment.

When I first heard it, I thought I
was dreaming. I groaned in my sleep, wishing the dream would end. But the noise
didn
’
t stop. I rolled to my
back and looked at the darkness. I was so damn tired that it took all my
strength to reach over and touch Bryan. Of course, of all places for my hand to
touch, I grabbed him between his legs. He was somewhat hard and the second I
touched him, he jumped. His legs kicked and he gasped for air.

“
AJ?
”

“
What
the fuck, are you getting hard?
”
I asked.

“
What
the fuck are you doing? What time is it...
”

The pounding came again.

“
Time
to see who
’
s at your door,
”
I said.

Bryan turned on the light and my
eyes throbbed for a few seconds.

Bryan sat up and looked around the
room. When the pounding came again he jumped from the bed. He crouched down and
a second later, he stood holding a baseball bat.

“
What
the hell are you going to do?
”
I asked.

“
Find
out who it is.
”

“
And
hit them?
”

“
Maybe,
”
Bryan said.
“
Stay here. Just in case.
”

Bryan only made it two steps before
I climbed out of bed too. Like hell I was going to wait. I wasn
’
t the kind of girl to wait. I
’
d face anything.

I couldn
’
t imagine who could be at Bryan
’
s door at three in the morning
but then again I didn
’
t
know enough to make a guess. For all I knew, Bryan could have been a serial
killer getting caught. Or a gambling addict with debts about to get his ass
kicked. Or...

“
Who
is it?
”
Bryan bellowed.

“
Good
scary voice,
”
I whispered.

He looked back at me.
“
Damn, AJ. I told you...
”

“
It
’
s meeeeeee,
”
a voice said and then laughed.

“
Shit,
”
Bryan said.

First off, it was a girl
’
s voice.

Second off, the way Bryan said
shit
and the way he hung his head made him look like a guy that just got caught
cheating.