The Unexpected Choice (13 page)

 

 

“So the DHR rep said everything looked good?” Stacey asked as she folded tiny socks together.

“Yup. We passed with flying colors. Things should be moving along with the court systems to make sure she's officially ours.” Joey placed a kiss on top of her head as he walked by, getting Rachel's bottle ready.

“What's next?” She stopped for a moment to see his reaction.

He ran his fingers through his hair. “I have to convince Cameron to sign her over permanently. The lawyer says she's being quiet about everything right now, which probably isn't good.”

“You know her better than any of us. Is she going to get out and take her back?” Panic seized her chest, and she exhaled, trying to calm her nerves.

“It's okay, Stacey. We'll fight for her if we have to. She'll know how much we love her.”

“When is Cameron up for parole?”

“In eleven months.”

By Rachel's first birthday. What a nice birthday present, to be handed over to someone she didn't even know. But maybe it wouldn't happen if Stacey prayed hard enough.

“Can you give Rachel her bottle while I finish up these clothes? I'll put her down afterwards.”

“I kinda of want to put her down tonight. Do you mind?” Joey asked with a little grin.

“By all means.”

“Why don't you go put on something sexy for me while I'm playing Mr. Mom.”

Stacey grinned at him. He was so cute in the evenings, when all was quiet and peaceful. Sometimes they snuggled, sometimes they made love, other times they just watched TV or got into a deep conversation about religion or God.

Stacey had to admit her faith had been put on the back burner since getting married. Sure, she still prayed, but her daily Bible readings had been put on hold. One day, she'd like to read the Bible with Joey since he'd admitted before they got married he liked to read the Bible, too.

Later that night, as she lay in bed listening to Joey's soft breath as he slept, she wondered what their life would be like when Cameron was out of prison. Eleven months wasn't enough with her sweet baby girl, and she needed to know she had more time to be a mother.

Joey said he loved her. Was quick to show her, too. But out of sight was sometimes out of mind and that's what she feared the most with Cameron. If she was to show up again, how would Joey handle it?

Over the monitor, Stacey heard Rachel stirring. She slept longer stretches now that she was a few weeks old, but Stacey found she loved the feedings during the night and her unique time with her. There was something special about having her all to herself, knowing her husband was sleeping in the next room. It had taken a while, but Stacey had finally bonded with her, and she couldn't imagine her life without her.

As Stacey settled in to feed Rachel, she heard Joey's cell phone ring. Who could be calling him at one in the morning?

Rachel sucked contentedly on her bottle. Stacey stood carefully and went to the door, trying to hear who he was speaking to.

“Cameron, why are you calling at one in the morning?”

Stacey allowed a small gasp to escape. Her worst fear was on the other end of the line.

“No, I'm not with her. Stacey's feeding her right now. What do you need?”

Again, Stacey strained her ears to hear what he was saying. He spoke softly, no doubt trying to hide his conversation. Stacey couldn't blame him, but she also wanted to scream at the craziness of their situation.

“Let me get this straight. You're calling me at one in the morning to tell me some sob story about how much you miss me? Cameron. Please. You've made your choice, and I've made mine.”

Stacey straightened a little.

“No, it wasn't a mistake. Your daughter has a mother she wouldn't have had otherwise. So no, I didn't make a mistake. You're the one who made the mistake. If you hadn't screwed up so royally, we might still be together and be raising her together.”

And just like that, Stacey deflated.

“Yes, I've told her I love her.”

She waited with her ear next to the door, waiting to see what he said next.

“No, I
do
love her. She's an amazing woman… No, she's not you, but she's so much better in so many ways.”

It was like watching a train wreck, Stacey decided. She couldn't back away from the door.

“My sex life is none of your business anymore,” he issued harshly.

She heard him give a low chuckle. “Yes, we had some great nights together. But they're over. I'm married, and I'm happy. Rachel's happy.”

Stacey was happy if he was happy. But would it be enough?

“You should see her, Cam. She started smiling a few days ago. She looks just like you.”

Stacey glanced in the darkness down at Rachel. Her eyes were drifting shut as her tummy filled.

“I'd have to talk to Stacey about bringing her. I'm not sure how she would feel about it… Yes, I know you're her mother, but you also made a lot of bad choices that took rights away from you, at least until you can straighten up when you get out.”

Stacey's eyes slammed shut. She wanted to see Rachel, which couldn't be a good thing. Sitting in a cell all day gave her the opportunity to think about her choices, and that, above all else, scared her. She knew Joey wouldn't have the heart to say no to her.

When Rachel finished, Stacey burped her and put her back down. She drifted right back to sleep with her little fists curled above her head. Stacey smiled, enjoying the moments she knew would be fleeting, whether from taking their time together for granted over the coming years or from Cameron demanding visitation.

Stacey padded into the room and slipped under the covers. Joey immediately came to her side of the bed and pulled her into his arms.

Swallowing thickly, she asked, “Who was on the phone?”

“Oh, no one. Just a wrong number.”

With a great jab, Stacey's heart slammed into her ribcage. He'd lied to her! How could he possibly lie after everything she'd done for him?
He'd always said he'd never lie to her.

Raising up
on an elbow
, Stacey looked him in the eyes, ready to fight.

“I love you, Stace,” he said before she could speak. He trailed his thumb over her lips. If she'd been a little stronger, she could have resisted him, but she wasn't. The tenderness in his eyes warred with
his
words still
echoing
in her head.

When she didn't say anything, he took this as an opportunity to kiss her tenderly. Stacey really wanted to bite him as hard as she could, but she refrained and selfishly enjoyed the moment.

He finally pulled away and smiled at her sleepily, then hauled her back into his arms, holding her close.

Stacey chose to keep silent. There was no telling when all of this would be taken away from her, and she wanted to make sure she had plenty of memories to look back on when Joey's side of the bed was cold and empty.

****

Joey had lied to her. How could he have done that to his wife? A woman who'd given up everything to help him with a situation he'd put himself in!

That was just it, though. She hadn't felt like she was giving anything up. She felt like she was cornered and Joey was her only shot at having a happily ever after. He'd give anything to take the moment back. To not answer his phone. To not engage Cameron in a wistful trip down memory lane on their sex life.

Cameron might have been more adventurous in bed, but Stacey was sexy and the emotion between them surpassed anything he and Cameron shared.

Still though, and this was the part that killed him to admit, it had felt good to hear Cameron's voice. She'd called him often in the middle of the night when they were dating. At the time, he'd thought she'd been lying in bed thinking of him and had decided to come over. Now he knew with the power of hindsight she'd been out doing drugs, and he'd been a convenient place to rest her head as she came down off her high.

In ways, he'd forgiven her for all the lies and deception, but he knew how it felt to be on the receiving end of those lies. And now he'd done the same thing to Stacey. The absolute last person on earth he wanted to hurt.

The worst part was he thought she might already know. He'd seen the look in her eyes as she'd looked at him last night. He wasn't sure what stopped her from saying anything. Maybe she wanted to see if he'd come clean. Or maybe she didn't want to risk waking Rachel, but either way, he had to tell her the truth.

As he pushed his scrambled eggs around on his plate, he watched as she flittered about the kitchen, getting Rachel's bottle ready. Her hair was in that cute, messy ponytail he'd always loved to tug as a kid. She still wore workout shorts from her morning jog… a first since he'd been back in town. He didn't even know she exercised but was glad she had done something for herself. She was giving up far too much for him already.

“Stace?” he asked, not sure how to go about telling her he'd boldly lied to her face.

“Hmm?” she asked, her voice deceptively quiet.

“You know that phone call last night?” He shoveled a mouthful of scrambled eggs to give himself a minute to make sure he got the wording right.

“I recall. The one you said was a wrong number?”

He almost grinned at her sweet tone. He was so busted. And he hoped she'd slap him cross-eyed for it.

“It wasn't a wrong number.”

She turned to look at him, her face a mask of neutrality. “It wasn't?”

“No, it was Cameron. A guard let her use his cell phone.”

Stacey didn't even blink. “Okay.”

Boy, she was going to make him work for it. “I lied to you. And I'm sorry.”

She turned and started wiping down the counter. “Why did you feel you needed to lie to me, Joey?”

Wasn't it the million-dollar question? “I don't know. I didn't want to upset you. And it was late.”

“And you think by admitting you lied to me now makes it easier somehow?”

“No. I guess I was a little shocked
and needed some time to process it
.”

“What did she want?”

Joey took a deep breath. “She wants me to bring Rachel to the prison so she can see her.”

“And what did you tell her?”

“I told her I'd talk with you.”

Stacey spun around, her eyes flashing. “I might have agreed to act like Rachel's mother, but I'm not. Whatever happens with your little girl is between you and Cameron. I appreciate you telling her you needed to ask me, but in reality, I have no legal right to her. The decision is yours and not ours.”

“You're wrong, Stace. Even if we weren't married, I have a feeling I'd be here asking you for advice. You're my best friend.”

Crossing her arms, Stacey gave him a motherly look. “Is that all you guys talked about?”

Yup, she definitely had him. “No.”

Without a word, she simply watched and waited.

“She asked me if I was happy.”

Stacey cocked her eyebrow.

“And if you… pleased me.” He grimaced. Did honesty mean full disclosure? “She told me I'd made a big mistake.”

When Stacey still refused to say anything, he stood. He ran his fingers through his hair in a frustrated move. “I told her I loved you and I was happy and the mistake was hers, not mine. I was doing the best I could to pick up the pieces.”

“How did you feel talking to her?” she finally asked, squinting a little as she evaluated him.

“Honestly, it was a little like old times. I didn't have enough time to process everything that happened between us before you and I got married. I love you, Stacey, and that's
not
a lie. I think I've loved you since you were a little girl, riding your tricycle all over your yard. But I can't deny Cameron and I had something once. I mean… the proof is sleeping in the other room. But what I wish would go away would be those what-if questions.”

Stacey's eyes drifted to the ground, a sure sign he'd said too much. “What if she comes back in eleven months and you divorce me? What then?”

“I'm not going to divorce you. I know my relationship with her was toxic. A marriage would be worse. And on top of everything, Rachel would be in the middle of it all… Stace,” he said, bringing her to him. “We work. We fit. We make sense. We're…”

“We're comfortable,” she supplied.

“We are,” he agreed. “But it doesn't make us wrong. If anything, I think there are a lot of people out there who are married who never achieve what we have. I'd take comfortable over diva any ole day.”

She grinned a little. “I guess I just don't understand what you want from me. You say you love me, but Cameron is still with you every day. Where do you see us in a few years?”

Ahhh, a question Joey had tried to avoid because it meant letting go of the past. A past he didn't really want to be associated with anymore, with the exception of his baby girl
, but still found himself drawn to like a moth to the flame
.

“What do I want from you?” He mulled this question as he watched her pick at some invisible lint on her shirt. She wiggled her toes and waited patiently.

“I want you to love me,” he said simply. And he discovered it was true. He wanted Stacey, all of her. Her heart, her soul, the next fifty years.

“I do love you. You know that.”

“I want you to love yourself.” Her eyes cast downward again, but she didn't hold them there for long.

“I do love myself, Joey. I love who I am when I'm with Rachel.”

“What about with me?”

“I'm constantly doubting. Am I saying and doing the wrong things? Should I have worn that instead of this? Will he leave me when Cameron is out of jail?”

Joey felt floored. He knew this was a real fear for her. Even a fear for him, in the beginning. But somewhere over the course of the last few weeks, he'd come to realize Cameron had been merely a phase. A fun and exciting phase, but the excitement had dulled when he'd found out about her lies and deceit. She'd openly admitted she wanted him back once she was out of jail, but Joey had only felt pity for her because she couldn't let go. They would need to work out arrangements for her to see Rachel, but other than that, Joey finally felt the bonds of their relationship lifting.

Slowly, Joey stood. The lump in his throat kept him from saying anything at first. He walked up to her and pulled her into his arms.

“There's nothing I can ever say to you to make you believe I'm not going anywhere. So I'll do the only thing I know to do, Stace.”

“What?”

“I'm going to prove it to you. It's going to take me about fifty years, but I hope you'll stick around long enough to know I mean it.”

As he pulled back, he saw Stacey's smirk. “I'll hold you to it.”

He nodded. “Okay. Deal.”

Joey touched his lips to hers for a second. Thinking to be gentle and persuasive, he didn't realize how much his need for this woman grew every time he saw her. He deepened the kiss, and she willingly accepted with a faint moan. She stood on her tiptoes to take all of him in. His hands roamed her back, holding her close and exploring her soft skin under her workout shirt at the same time.

With a gentle shove, Stacey pulled away. “Rachel needs her bottle.”

He watched as she filled the bottle with formula and shook it.

“So what do you think about letting Cameron see Rachel?”

At this, Stacey stopped shaking and her face twisted into something resembling an angry bear. “I don't want my baby getting within a mile of her.”

Joey couldn't help the smile.
Her
baby. He liked the sound of that. He wondered if she'd ever be open to having children someday. But now wasn't the time to ask, when she hadn't slept more than
six hour
intervals in the last few weeks.

“Then she won't. As far as I'm concerned, you're Rachel's mother. No one else. We both have to make those types of decisions together.”

“Well, I'm making this one, Joey. I won't have Rachel being confused. I'm the one who loves her enough to sacrifice. Cameron was too selfish, and now she has to deal with her punishment.”

Joey watched his wife again. She stood there, shaking the bottle again. Her mouth was set in a determined line and her eyes flashed with fire. She'd never looked more beautiful to him than at that moment, standing up for what she wanted, determined to make it happen.

He nodded. “I couldn't have said it better myself.”