The Truth About Love (10 page)

Without the phone, I had no GPS.  I had no way of getting in touch with her doctors if there was an emergency.  My phone was the one attached to his business, since part of my job consisted of answering his phone calls.  Now, since he owned my number, and given I had decided to not stay in the house, there would be no way for him to get in touch with me
ever
.  He had effectively cut himself off from his daughter.  What an idiot. All because he wanted to lash out at me.

Without hesitation, I called 611.  Though the representative gave me her name...I don’t remember it.  

“How can I help you today?”

“My phone is off.  I’d like to know if it’s because my husband didn’t pay the bill, or because he’s mad at me.”  I exited the building while I spoke.

“Sure, hold for just one moment and I can get you that information.”

The phone went silent...no wait music or lame messages.  I had to keep checking just to ensure we hadn’t been disconnected.  After what seemed like a really long time, since I had crossed two streets, walked up a flight of stairs, and made it to the parking garage, she finally returned.

“Okay, it looks like this phone was reported lost or stolen,” she explained.

“It’s neither.  I’m Shane Powers’ wife.  Can you turn it back on?  We’re going through a nasty separation right now, as evidenced by the fact I just walked out of court with an Order of Protection.”  Using the key fob, I unlocked the SUV and slipped into the seat.

“I don’t have the authority to do that.  He’s the owner of the account.”

After sitting heavily, I spoke once more.  “Yes, I understand this.  I would like at least a two-week grace period.”

“I understand, but I can’t help you.”  She seemed firm.

Ah, but I’m not one to give up easily.  That should be obvious by now, too.  How long had I stuck it out through Shane’s tantrums and worsening behavior?
  I made one final attempt.  “
Okay.  Let me explain, I have a baby with a lot of health problems.  By not having a phone, she is in danger.  If there is an emergency, I have no way to contact her doctors.  She is a micro-preemie who just came off oxygen and is still on a feeding pump.  I need a phone.  What can we do about this?”

There was a sigh then.  Finally, it wasn’t me.  “You know if you had been speaking with anyone else it might not have mattered.  Give me just a minute.”

I knew my words had made an impact.  Somehow, I was going to have phone service.  So I waited. Finally the lovely woman taking care of me was back on the line.

“Okay, here’s what I can do.  For now, we can change the contact information to your phone and your email, just as soon as you give it to me.  You will be able to go on the website and apply to take over your phone number and have your own account.  Just make sure he doesn’t know you still have a phone.”

It was all I could do to keep from squealing.  “Absolutely.  Thank you.  How soon will my phone be back on?”  

“After we hang up, just reboot it.  It will be working once more.”

“I really appreciate this.”  I gushed.  “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.”

After giving her my email, I hung up, rebooted, and sure enough...the phone was functional once more.  Mostly.  It didn’t have data, so I couldn’t use the GPS without Wi-Fi around.  Still, I could make this work, as long as I could make calls.  My first call...to Jules.

I didn’t even properly greet her when she answered.  “He turned off my phone!”

“What?  Then how are you calling me?”  She sounded confused.

Chuckling, I explained.  “I convinced them to turn it back on because of Kylie.”  

She laughed.  “Does he know?”

“Absolutely not.” 

It was strange to me.  During our entire relationship, I hadn’t been able to keep secrets from him. I hadn’t wanted to.  It wasn’t healthy being secretive.  I learned that from experience in past relationships.  Shane...I shared everything with him.  Out nothing but the truth policy was something we loved about our relationship.  Now look at me, one secret after another.  

Jules interrupted my thoughts.  “So how did court go?”

I smiled.  “The judge gave me everything.”

She squealed.  “Like...Kylie and the car?”

“Like the Order of Protection, Kylie, the car, and...the house.”

“You got the house!”  The shock was evident in her voice.

“Yes.  And I was feeling badly about it...until he turned my phone off.”

She laughed.  I chuckled.  

Then reality hit.  “Of course, you realize I’m still homeless.  How can I live there?”

“You have an Order of Protection,” she reminded me. 

“I don’t have a lot of faith in those.  I don’t know what his thoughts are like these days.  This man...this Shane...he’s a wild card.” 

I could practically hear the wheels turning in her head.  “Are you sure that you don’t want to stay in the house?  Think of Kylie.  She would be able to continue therapy.  It would be good for her to keep her familiar surroundings.”

It was true, but there was more to it.  “I know, but I
am
thinking of Kylie.  First, the house isn’t secure.  There are broken windows.  It would take a good week to order new glass for the windows to be repaired.  That costs money I don’t have.”

“I can lend you more money,” she offered.

“It’s not just about that.  Even if I get the window repaired, he knows how to break into homes.  He worked for a maintenance company once and had to break into homes all the time to do emergency water shut offs for broken pipes.  I know he could get in here without an ounce of effort.”

Jules was quiet for a moment.  “So what will you do?”

Taking a deep breath, I shared what I had been considering.  “I was thinking I’d get my things from the house, then go visit Grace until the final court date.  From there, I might go be with you to get myself together if that’s still a possibility...only for a little bit before I go to Florida to stay with my mom.

“Of course.  Just let me know.” 

Once we ended our call, I phoned Brynn to let her know I was on my way.  It would be a quick visit today to pick up Kylie.  I knew I had Lily waiting on me so we could take a walk before making dinner.  Plus, I had some planning to do.  I wasn’t sure when I would be able to get back in the house.  I wasn’t sure I’d even be able to stay with Grace.  They traveled a lot.  Of course, since they had just returned from Italy, there was a good chance they’d be home for a bit.

The drive gave me a moment to think.  I wondered what Shane would do next, worried over him being served by the deputy and evicted.  I would be well within my rights to have a nervous breakdown, but honestly, who had time for that?  I certainly didn’t.

When I finally made it back to Lily’s house with Kylie, she was waiting for me.  

“So how did it go?  And do you still want to go for a walk?”  She had her sneakers on and the stroller was already pulled out.

I needed a few minutes of normal.  “Yes.  Why don’t we talk while we walk?”

Honestly, I get so tired of talking about the same thing over and over again.  It’s exhausting.  This was all taking up too much time in my head.  That’s why I started journaling every night.  I had to get it out so I could go on.  If I had to hold it all in, I really might lose it.  At the same time, I felt so blessed to have so many people who cared.  It was nice to know I’m loved.

So, we loaded the babies in strollers.  I didn’t have the shoes for a long walk, so we decided to do the short walk with me still in my super comfortable, but not always practical flip-flops.  Naturally, we had to take pictures.  I would’ve posted them to Facebook, but with no data package, that wasn’t going to happen.

We started our walk while Lyle settled in to have a beer with the neighbor next door.  I love these guys.  They are these peace loving hippie types.  Life with them is so calm, so simple.  They are so easy to be around.  As soon as we were out of earshot, Lily spoke.
 
“Okay, Lyle can’t hear us now.  I don’t know if I told you, but he was worried that Shane would try to come over, since he knew you were here.”

“
Why would that worry him?  He’s a black belt.”  I looked up at her quizzically.  I’m all of five feet tall.  I look up at everyone.

Nodding, she continued.  “Yeah, but with his injured finger, he was afraid he wouldn’t be able to defend us if it was necessary.”

I frowned.  “Honestly, Lily, I don’t know that he’s in any condition to go anywhere.  He wasn’t when I left.  From what I’ve gathered, he’s been holed up in the house.”

“Oh yeah?”  She seemed more hopeful now.

“Yeah.  Lola said she’d let me know if he left.  She hasn’t called, so he must not have left.”  I shrugged it off.

“Well, that’s good I guess.”  She brightened.

“No.  I think he’s in a really bad place.  I’ve never seen him like this.”

Lily froze in her steps.  “So, he makes you and Kylie homeless and you’re worried about him?”

I shrugged.  How do you turn love off like that?  We married in the mountains at sunset beneath a covered dock on Fontana Lake.  It had been a destination wedding we shared with just our closest family and friends. I had planned every detail with Shane’s approval, right down to the Irish handfasting ceremony we used for our vows.  I remember bits and pieces.  At the time, I was so focused on Shane, his face, and his hands, I didn’t soak everything in like I normally would.  As I recall...

We had vowed to share our laughter, to look for the brightness in life and the positive in each other.  When had all of that ended?

We had promised to share each other’s pain and seek to ease it.  Yet lately, he seemed to be causing me pain without considering he should make it better.

We had sworn to share each other’s burdens so our spirits could grow in this union.  Only, lately he had been a burden without easing mine.

We were supposed to dream together to create new realities and hopes.  Somehow, we had forgotten those shared dreams, forgotten to work toward them together.  Instead, we seemed to be chasing separate dreams on our own.

Most of all, we had claimed we would take the heat of anger and use it to temper the strength of our union.  Shane’s anger had only shattered it.

Still, I didn’t know how to let go, to stop caring for this man I had given my whole heart to, only to have him break it time and again any number of ways.  I didn’t know how to make an outsider understand.  How could I make Lily see, when all she knew was Shane had changed into someone far less likeable they no longer wanted to be friends with.

“So what are your plans now?”  She asked as we turned the corner.  “Going back home?”

“Only to get what I need.  I’m hoping to stay with Grace until the next court date.  Then I’ll go be with Julia for a bit before I land at my mom’s in Florida.”  The more I considered this course, the more confident I became in my choice.

“That’s a good plan.”  She grinned.  

I nodded and smiled.  Yup.  I’m a planner.  Life was starting to feel more stable.  I could finally make plans.

Minutes shy of eight at night, we finally managed to finish making the meal.   Seconds later, the phone rang.  According to the name on the screen, it was my other sister.  She never called, so I knew it had to be important.

Anna was all business when she spoke.  “I just thought you should know that mom had a stroke today.  She’s in the hospital.”

I froze.  I was already tense and this shocked me.  Mom is only 67.  It’s not like she’s ancient.  
“
Is she okay?  What happened?”

“Well, she was about to take a shower when her legs gave out.  She fell on the floor and laid there for several hours before she could crawl back to bed.”  Anna sounded upset as she relayed the information.  “She had her phone, but she couldn’t remember how to make a phone call.  So it was a while longer before her friends came looking for her and called an ambulance.  Then they called me.”

“Oh my God!  This is terrible.”  Then another thought occurred to me.  “Wait, did you tell Brynn?”

“Yes, I told her.  My point is...I can’t go back down right now.  I just came back from moving her in.  She’s only been there a couple of weeks.”  I could tell she was frustrated and scared.

“I was planning on visiting, but I’m not sure I can go immediately.”  Reluctant to share my problems and cause her any more stress, I wasn’t going to reveal my situation at the moment.
  “
Does she have her phone?  Will I be able to talk to her?”

She sighed.  “Yes.  I’m just not sure that she will be able to talk.”  

“Okay.  Well, I’ll give her a call.  Thank you.”  Minutes after I hung up the phone and finished explaining what had happened with my mother to Lyle and Lily, my phone rang again.  I didn’t recognize the number, but given the circumstances, I wasn’t in a position to be screening my phone calls.

“Hello?”

“Is this Nina Powers?”  A male voice questioned.

“Yes.”  Now I was nervous.

“I’m at the house to serve Shane Powers.  Are you here?”

Ah, a deputy.  “No.”  

“Is he here, do you know?” 

We’re not supposed to have contact.  How would I know?  “Not sure.  Is there a silver truck in the driveway?”

“Yes.”

“Then he’s there.” 

“Any dogs or guns I need to worry about?”

This part was tricky.  He had guns, but while we had money issues he talked about selling them.  As far as I knew, they were long gone.  “No.  How long does this take?  When will it be safe for me to come back?”

“I’ll have the house cleared in half an hour.”

“That soon?  Thank you.”

After I ended the call, I sort of breathed a sigh of relief.  Sort of.  It felt too easy.  I wasn’t really planning on returning until morning, and I wasn’t planning to stay there permanently, but I still needed to go back at least for a few hours.

My next call was to Lola.
  “
Okay.  The deputy is serving Shane now.  I’ll be back later.”  I may have been vague, but so were my plans.  Once again life was up in the air in some respects.

“Great.  I’ll stop by when you get here.  Let me know if there is anything I can do to help.”

“Thank you.  I will.”
 
It occurred to me that I was doing a lot of thanking lately.  How lucky was I?

So I talked with Lily and Lyle, trying to decide upon my next step.

“Do you want to go back tonight?” She asked me, her face concerned.

For a moment, I considered it.  Though it had only been two nights, I was already tired of the floor.  Many times I had joked I was too old for camping because I didn’t need to be sleeping on the ground.  I felt the same way about living room carpet.
  “
I think so.  I doubt he’d come back tonight.  That would give me a chance for an early start in the morning.”  

“You know,” Lily mentioned, “I get off early tomorrow.  I could come help you and then we could grab lunch.”

“I’d love that.  Thank you!”

See.  More appreciation.

We finished eating, although what I did at that point was more like picking, and clock watching.  After everyone had eaten, I helped clean up from dinner.  Soon after I finished loading the dishwasher and putting away leftovers, my phone rang once more. It was Lola.

“Don’t come home,” she urged.

“
What?”  Her words confused me.

“Shane came back,” she warned.  “He’s at the house.  His truck is in the driveway.  Stay where you are!”

I paused, still processing her words.  “No.  He wouldn’t do that…”

Only I wasn’t sure any more.  I ended the conversation in a hurry before I called the deputy who had served him.  Maybe Shane was in no condition to drive and someone else had driven him.  That was a possibility.  Lola had mentioned he hadn’t left.  She didn’t tell me whether or not others had come over.  Maybe I didn’t want to know.  Maybe he’d already had a bunch of sleepovers with exes.

“How can I help you?”  The deputy asked.

“This is Nina Powers,” I began nervously.  “You served my husband, Shane, just a few hours ago.  Did he drive away in his truck?”  

“Silver truck?  Yes.  I followed him out of the neighborhood after explaining the Order of Protection.”

“Well, his truck is in the driveway and the lights are on.  My neighbor called and told me not to come home.  What should I do?”  I started pacing in the kitchen.

“Call the police,” he told me.

“I thought I
had
called the police.” 

“I’m on the other side of town,” he explained.  “You don’t want to wait that long.  Call 911.”

Seriously.  Before this, I had never called 911 ever.  Now, I was calling it twice in one week.  My life was beyond surreal.  Thus, I was waiting for a dispatcher to answer seconds later.

“This is 911.  What is your emergency?”

“I have an Order of Protection that was served tonight.  My husband has gone back to the house already.  I’m not there, but I was planning on returning.  Can you send someone there so I can go back home?”  The words rushed from my lips.

“Sure.  Let me contact the nearest officer.”

The waiting began.  I didn’t know what was going to happen next.  It was crazy.  My life had turned into some soap opera.  I don’t even like soaps!

In the meantime, I tried to get some writing assignments completed.  While they wouldn’t pay right away, they would eventually and that would have to be enough.  At the moment, I couldn’t afford to turn down work.  Kylie was playing with Isaac, bouncing him in his seat.  Lily and Lyle were sitting on the couch watching television.  From the kitchen, I could see it all, but I didn’t feel a part of anything.  My mind was a million places, wondering what would happen next.

At just after ten at night, the police called me from the house.

“Ma’am, I’m at your house and quite frankly, I’m not sure why I’m here,” the officer grumbled.

“An Order of Protection was served and my husband has already violated it.”   I sank against the wall.

“Ma’am, he says he has no idea what we’re talking about.  He says he hasn’t been served.” 

Again, I found myself expelling an enormous sigh.
  “
I was on the phone with the deputy earlier when he was serving it.  Don’t take my word for it.  Call the deputy.  He’ll tell you.  I happen to have his number.”
 
Then I shared the number while listening to the officer write it down.

“Okay.  I’ll give him a call.  Thank you.”  Then the officer ended our call.

As soon as we hung up, I wished I had asked him what was going to happen.  I wanted to know.  I needed to feel safe so I could help Kylie feel secure.  This was the day that wouldn’t end.  Every time I thought life was going to finally calm down, it seemed to just spin more wildly out of control.  Oh, and the waiting.  I suck at waiting.

“So, why don’t you stay here tonight?”  Lily suggested gently when I finally went to sit down in the living room.

“
It looks like I don’t have any other options.”  I frowned.  “Sorry.  I thought you two were actually going to get some alone time.”

When I glanced at her again, I realized she was shaking her head.  “I just can’t believe he already broke the order.”

All I could do was nod sadly.  What was going on with Shane?  Why would he do this?  I couldn’t believe he would risk going to jail.  It just didn’t make sense.  Then Lola called.

“I’m on my way to bed, but I thought you might want to know what’s happening,” she explained.

“Absolutely.  What’s going on?” I questioned.