Authors: Iris Johansen
“You’ll pay me.” Vaden’s smile was tiger bright. “Everyone pays me.”
“WELL, ARE YOU CONTENT?” Kadar asked as he escorted Selene back to her chamber a short time later.
“Yes.” She grimaced. “Though I don’t know why. He’s a most unsettling man. I don’t know what he’s thinking.”
“You don’t need to know. All we have to worry about is Vaden’s power in battle and his loyalty.”
“I’d judge Vaden to be a man who hates to be held in check. How far will loyalty stretch?”
“There’s no use discussing it. It’s done. We’ll just watch him.”
She suddenly frowned. “He seemed uncomfortable talking about the grail.”
“Ware told me Vaden was always a man who believed only what he could hold in his hands.” He smiled. “Yet he traveled all the way to Scotland to deliver your sister’s banner to her. I’d wager he was even more uncomfortable performing that task.”
“But he did it.” Her jaw firmed. “And he’ll do this for us.” She stopped in front of her door. “Will you have a plan in two days?”
“Yes, I’ll have a plan.” He paused. “But we have other things to do in those two days. I told Tarik that we’d need a priest for tomorrow evening.”
“A priest? Why should—” She understood. Vows. “You still wish this?”
“We have an agreement. I persuaded Tarik to let us use the grail. Now I’m ready to help you trap Nasim. Why would you think I’d changed my mind about my reward?”
Because he had not shown her that other, darker side of him in the past days. He had been the old Kadar, and it was that other Kadar who had made the demand.
She moistened her lips. “It would be wiser to wait.”
He smiled. “I’m not like Vaden. I believe in taking the bulk of my reward in advance. You can never tell what will happen to prevent you from enjoying the fruits of your labor.”
“Nothing is going to happen to you. I won’t let it.”
“I bask in your assurances.” He met her gaze. “But the vows will still take place tomorrow evening.”
His tone had taken on that harder, cooler edge and so had his expression, she realized with shock. The familiar Kadar was gone again. How easily he had slipped into that darker side.
“If that’s what you wish. I never intended to cheat you.”
“I know.” His smile banished the hardness. “It’s just that vows are not what is most important to me.” He lifted her hand and brushed it with his lips. “And what I hope will become important to you again. Rest well. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
She watched him until he disappeared around the turn of the hall.
Vows.
She would be wed tomorrow. The idea was strange. She had put the prospect completely out of her mind in the past days. She must do that again tonight.
Because she was feeling the beginning of a tingling excitement and anticipation that was blocking out everything else. Kadar had always loomed larger than anything or anyone around him, and he was now a distraction she couldn’t afford.
She could block him out tonight, but what of tomorrow night? Vows had not been his only price.
The tower.
Don’t think of the tower. Don’t think of his body or the music it had made as it merged with her own.
Don’t think at all.
“I’ve brought you something to wear tomorrow,” Layla said when Selene opened the door. She motioned to the soft blue material draped over her arm. “It’s not fitting that you wear a servant’s gown for such an occasion.”
“It’s very kind of you, but I don’t—”
“Of course you do.” Layla entered the room and shut the door. “Weddings are very important.” She tossed the material on the bed. “It’s not really a gown. It’s only a length of silk, but the color is pretty and it will feel good against your body. I’ll come back tomorrow morning and show you how to drape it.”
Selene frowned skeptically at the material. “Drape it?”
“The women of Egypt and India do it all the time. It’s much more graceful than clumsy stitching.” She smiled. “And much easier to remove.”
“I believe I prefer stitching.”
“Not for tomorrow.” She was silent a moment. “I was surprised you’d decided to marry at this time. I’ve noticed Kadar can be very dominating. Is this by your will?”
“It’s by my will.”
“Because if it’s not, tell me. You’re not yourself, and I won’t have him intimidate you.”
“He’s not intimidating me.” She found herself smiling. “And I’m enough myself to prevent such bullying. I thank you for your concern.”
“I have a liking for you.” The words came awkwardly. “I want things to go well. You may resent me for trying to keep Tarik from letting you use the grail, but it’s not because I don’t understand your pain.”
“I don’t resent you.” It was true, Selene realized. It was clear Layla’s passion to protect the grail was as strong as her own passion to use any means to accomplish her end. “You’ve always been kind to me.” She made a face. “Except for that first night. I’ve still not forgiven that blow.”
“Mario’s blow, not mine.” Layla grinned. “If it had been mine, it would have been harder. I never strike unless I wish to disable. Have you supped?”
“Not yet.”
“Good. I’ll call for food. We will sup together.”
“You don’t wish to eat with Tarik?”
Layla looked away from her. “He’s avoiding me.” She started for the door. “Not that I care. It just seems a foolish move. I’ve no wish to make him uncomfortable.”
Pain and loneliness. The impression was stark and raw in those few words. Selene had the impulse to reach out in comfort, but she knew Layla would deny she needed comfort. There was one thing Layla would accept, though. “I’d like to sup with you, Layla.” Her gaze went to the fabric on the bed. “And I thank you for the draping.”
Layla laughed. “It will truly be fine. You will see.”
“Did you wear such a garment on your wedding day?”
Her smile faded. “No, we wed in secret. I wore the same white linen robes I wore every day. But I placed a lotus blossom in my hair. Tarik said I looked beautiful.” She shrugged. “I knew he lied, but sometimes lies can be a great comfort.”
“I’m sure you were beautiful.”
“It didn’t matter whether I was or not. I
felt
beautiful.” She opened the door. “I’ll return soon.”
Tarik kissed her breast before whispering, “Will you wed me, Layla?”
She became still. “Marriage?” She raised herself on one arm and looked down at him. “You wish to wed me?”
He smiled. “Why are you so surprised? You know I love you.”
“Yes.”
“And you love me.”
She was silent.
“Layla?”
She nestled her head into the hollow of his shoulder. “Why do you wish to marry? We couple; we have joy.”
“Why do you not?”
She stared at the darkness beyond the window across the room. It was a hot, humid night, and she had left the woven shutters open. She smelled the scent of incense of palm oil she had burned to mask the stench of the streets. She knew those streets: the thieves who stole from the living and the dead, the beggars, the whores. She had forced herself to walk those byways and learn the wickedness that lay around every corner. But it was a world Tarik had never known behind the walls of the Great Library.
Until she had forced him to come out from behind those walls.
“Layla.”
“I’m . . . not like you.”
“Why should that matter?”
“I don’t meditate and worship at the feet of those great philosophers whose words you copy down in your scrolls. Most of the time I don’t think at all. I just do what seems best to do, what I want to do.”
“You think a great deal. You’re the most intelligent woman I know.”
“Of course I’m intelligent. That’s not what I meant.” She curled closer to him even as she formed the words that would distance him. “I’m not—I don’t—I should not marry you. You don’t know me.”
He kissed the top of her head. “Well enough. You’ve told me all I need to know.”
“You know nothing. I’m selfish and—Do you know why I first came to your bed? I thought your interest in finding the scroll was waning. I needed to hold you. From the first moment I saw you at the library, I intended to use you to get what I wanted.”
“I knew that.”
She sat up and looked down at him in shock. “You knew?”
He laughed. “You’re very bad at subterfuge, my love.”
“That’s not true,” she said indignantly. “I’ve done quite well at fooling the priests all these years.”
“Then perhaps I see more because I love you.”
“Why do you love me?” she asked wonderingly. “I look at myself and I see nothing to love. I’m selfish and sharp-tongued and I’ve never done anything but use you.”
“Yes, you’ve done something else.”
“What?”
“You’ve loved me,” he said simply. “Not at first. But gradually it came.”
“I do not—” She couldn’t finish. She closed her eyes. “I don’t know about this love. It’s been so long. . . . If I do love you, it feels very rough and strange and hurtful.”
“It will be better when you become accustomed to the idea. Will you wed me, Layla?”
She opened her eyes, but they were still dim with tears. “It’s foolish. You won’t be happy.”
“I won’t be happy without you. Will you wed me?”
She lay down beside him again. “You’re right, you wouldn’t be happy.” Her voice was uneven. “I’ve probably spoiled you for any other woman. Who could be as clever and witty and—” She had to stop for a moment. “So I suppose it’s my duty to marry you. We will do it on the morrow.”
He smiled. “And wear a blue lotus blossom in your hair.”
“Flowers don’t suit me.”
“It would please me.”
And she knew tomorrow the lotus blossom would be tucked in her hair.
“Layla.”
She looked behind her to see Kadar coming down the hall.
He was gazing at her quizzically. “You were lost in thought. I spoke three times to you.”
Memories, not thought, and it was just as well he had jarred her from them. “Yes, what do you want?”
“Truce. Even if we cannot agree on the grail, we need to work together.”
“You have Tarik.” She added ironically, “Why do you need the help of a mere woman?”
“Because that ‘mere’ woman can cause me innumerable difficulties, if she chooses.”
“That’s quite true. You’re wise to realize that fact and wiser to acknowledge it to me.” Her gaze narrowed on his face. “But I’ve always known you were clever. I just don’t know how self-serving you are.”
“As self-serving as anyone else. But I do keep my word. The grail is safe.”
She nodded slowly. “But how safe is Selene?”
He gazed at her in surprise. “Is that important to you?”
“I’m not without feelings. I’ve grown to think of Selene as my friend.”
“You don’t have to worry about Selene. I’ve cared for her for a long time. That will never change.”
“Never?” Her lips twisted. “That may be longer than you think. Have you not been thinking of the possibility of giving Selene the potion?”
“Yes. How could I help it?”
“Even though you’re skeptical about Eshe?”
“Yes.”
“I thought as much. It’s natural to want to play safe with the lives of people we care about. You’ve been thinking that the potion didn’t hurt you and, if you wait until you know for certain that what we told you is true, Selene will be an old woman. So you’re wondering, why not give it to her now?”
“Only if she chooses.”
“She would always choose you whether it was what she wanted or not.”
“Not at the moment. Her mind is on other things.” He raised a brow. “Why are you concerned? As I recall, you claim that it would be a great gift.”
“It is a great gift.” She paused. “But there was Chion. And Selene suffered terribly when Haroun and the babe died. How do I know what effect the years would have on her?” She met his gaze. “You wish my help? You’ll have it on one condition. If you decide to give Selene Eshe, you’ll first come to me and discuss it.”
“Done.”
“And there must be choice. Do you understand? No matter how much you’re tempted, it’s the one rule that must be obeyed.”
“Of course.”
Relief streamed through her. “Good. And now that’s settled, I have to find a servant and tell him to bring food to Selene and me in her chamber.”
“I’ll do it for you,” Kadar said. “Go back and keep her company. She’ll need you. She’s uneasy tonight.”
“Uneasy. A strange term to describe a bride.”
“No stranger than the situation.” He smiled. “Nor the people surrounding the bride. Including you, Layla.”
“I’m not strange. I’m very—” She grimaced and then said grudgingly, “Maybe a little strange. If one is of a boring and unimaginative mind.”
He nodded solemnly. “And one wouldn’t care about such bores anyway.”
He was laughing at her.
And she did not mind, she realized in surprise. His laughter was like Tarik’s—no malice, just humor that invited sharing. “Exactly.” She turned on her heel. “Nor for those who chatter and don’t act. I’ll expect a servant bearing food to be knocking on the door of Selene’s chamber within the quarter hour.”