The Trade (21 page)

"We're here,” Jay announced.

"Where's here?" Tonia asked dryly.

"Doesn't really have a name,” Jay said.

"Well what's the name of the nearest
town?"

"Louisville,” Jay answered.

"Oh,” Tonia said. She knew she'd never be
able to find this place again in a million years. Probably wouldn’t
even be able to describe how to get within fifty miles of it. Jay
got out of the Blazer and walked up to the house. Tonia followed.
Jay climbed the old wooden steps, crossed the creaky porch and
opened their front door.

"No lock?" Tonia asked.

"Wouldn't make much sense out here would it?”
Jay answered. He walked in. The inside was very dark, only the
tiniest bit of early moonlight drifted in the solitary window.
Tonia could see her breath in the cold still air.

"Turn on the furnace would you?" Tonia asked.
She hoped this wasn't where they were staying.

"Okay,” Jay said. He disappeared into the
dark back room and emerged a minute later with an armful of
kindling, logs and dry paper. He made a neat stack in the stone
fireplace and lit it all with some matches he'd pulled from a
waterproof container he'd had stashed in his jacket.

"You've got to be kidding,” Tonia said
flatly.

"You were sure you wanted to know,” Jay
admonished.

"Alright, alright,” she said. "Where are we
sleeping? And why did I need steel toed boots for this? And don’t
give me that ‘patience’ crap.”

Jay led her into the back room. Though dark
it was tight and dry. There was a huge canopy bed in one corner, it
almost filled the room. All the space not taken up by bed was
stacked with firewood. Tonia went over to the bed and sat down. She
sank into the feather and rope bed.

"Ooooh,” she said. "This is nice.”

"Warmest bed in three counties,” Jay
said.

Tonia rolled onto her side.

"Will you turn on a light?" she asked.

"No,” Jay answered.

"Why not?"

"Ain't any.”

"None?"

"Nope. No electricity out here."

"Argghh,” Tonia sighed. "No furnace, no
lights. What is this place?"

"Heaven,” Jay answered.

Thanksgiving Day dawned crisp and cool. The
two lovers woke slowly in each other’s arms. The fire had died out
overnight and they could once again see their breath.

"Come on,” Jay said, getting out of bed. He
dressed quickly.

"Where?"

"To work,” Jay answered. Ten minutes later,
after Tonia had had her first experience with an outhouse, they
were in the Blazer bumping down the trail. In the daylight Tonia
could see the fulfilling beauty of late November in the Kentucky
hardwood forest. She drank in the fresh air and foliage until Jay
pulled up in a small clearing. At least ten children ran up to the
Blazer.

"Jay! Jay! How yawl doin'?" they howled,
tugging at his jacket, rooting in his pockets, looking for the
treats he usually ‘hid’ there.

"Who's sheeee?" they asked.

"Later,” Jay said. "Is he here?"

"In the back,” a diminutive 12 year old
beauty said. "He was hoping you'd come,” she paused. "We all
were.”

Jay crossed the clearing. Holding Tonia's
hand he walked into a house that Tonia figured would fall down at
any second. A huge bear of a man came rumbling out of the back
room.

"Jay Calloway. May the Lord be with you.”

"And with you Father,” Jay replied.

The immense priest swamped Jay in a
tremendous hug. Jay almost disappeared in the hairy man's
embrace.

"Who's this?" Father Dan Brennan asked,
indicating Tonia.

"Father Dan may I present Miss Tonia
Taggert?”

"May the Lord be with you child,” Fr. Dan
said.

"Nice to meet you,” Tonia replied.

"Can she swing a hammer?" Fr. Dan asked while
he surveyed her brand new work clothes.

"Don’t know. But she can certainly fetch and
carry for those of us who can, and if we need someone to run
somewhere really fast, she’s our girl," Jay laughed.

Fr. Dan erupted in a deep rolling laugh that
shook his sides and made the floor tremble. Tonia feared for the
fragile structure.

"Jay?"

"Yes?"

"What exactly are we going to do here?" Tonia
asked.

Father Dan answered the question.

"Have you heard of Mary’s Home Missionaries
child? Probably not. We're going to work with Houses for Humanity
for the next three days building a house for a woman with four
children. Her husband passed six months ago. Killed logging. Every
Thanksgiving for the past ten years young Jay here has helped us
out on a project. And in between undergrad and grad school he did a
whole year here with us. But it's a big secret. You cain't be
a-tellin' no-one right?”

Three days later, with blisters on their
hands and pride on their faces, the two dozen volunteers and half
dozen missionaries had finished the three room house, complete with
front porch for rocking on. Though it had neither indoor plumbing
nor any other modern luxuries it was infinitely better than the
corrugated steel shack in which the poor woman and her even poorer
family had been surviving. Tonia stood in Jay's arms, admiring
their work.

"Nice work,” Jay congratulated her.

"You too,” she said.

Jay pushed a wisp of blonde hair away from
her dirty face.

"Hey now you two, you're in the presence of a
holy man,” Fr. Dan boomed. "Perhaps I should find some more work
for y'all,” he teased. “There’s another cord of firewood just ready
to split and stack if you need to burn some more energy.”

"Maybe you ought to just drive you back to my
place so you can keep an eye on us?” Jay counter-offered.

Jay and Tonia drove Father Brennan back to
his mission in the woods.

"You are welcome here anytime child,” Fr. Dan
said to Tonia as he exited the Blazer. "With or without my good
friend Jay Calloway.” Fr. Brennan devoured both of them in a bear
hug that threatened to snap their weary bones.

"See you next time?" Fr. Dan asked.

"God willing,” Jay answered.

Fr. Brennan placed his hand on Jay's
forehead. Jay knelt at the huge man's feet.

"May the blessings of the Father, the Son and
the Holy Spirit keep you and guide you. Go with God,” Fr. Dan
blessed. The big man turned and left them, not looking back. Tonia
thought she heard the big man sniffle as he walked away.

Jay and Tonia returned to the cabin for their
last night in Kentucky.

“
I didn’t know you were so
religious,” Tonia said.

“
I’m not,” he
answered.

“
But the
priest?”

“
He’s a priest. I like him.
I help him. It doesn’t make me religious.”

Tonia pondered on that answer.

"Sometimes I wish we could be like this
forever,” Tonia said.

"What do you mean?" Jay asked.

"I mean just the two of us, doing good things
like today, doing right by each other. And others. Living here on
this mountain. Things are simple here. Clear. Clear and simple and
right in front of you with no hidden meanings or hidden agenda or
hidden anything. I mean never going back to New York.”

"We don't have to go back,” Jay said
seriously. “You want to stay I’ll stay.”

Tonia started to cry. She cried small sobs of
pernicious guilt that she tried to hide but couldn't. Tonia's
sniffles turned to tears.

"What's wrong?" Jay asked.

"You wouldn't understand,” Tonia
answered.

"Try me,” Jay soothed, stroking her hair.

Tonia opened her mouth to tell him
everything, but the story didn't come out. "I can't,” she said. Her
words and tone echoed those from Central Park when they had first
met. Over the past three days, working on the house, working in the
fresh air, Jay had seen nothing in Tonia that made him suspicious
in any way. If anyone had come within five miles of the cabin he
would have known. It was just the two of them, and yet she still
said ‘I can’t…”

"It's okay,” Jay answered.

He felt a coldness descend all around them.
Jay hugged her protectively in the moonlight until she'd cried
herself out. He carried her the few steps back to the cabin and
tucked her into the warm down bed.

Chapter

Between Thanksgiving and Christmas Jay worked
like a bandit clearing all his responsibilities in his current job.
In the New Year he'd be starting with Hal and he didn't want to
leave Bill Beck holding the bag on any unfinished projects. He'd
only seen Tonia one time since returning from Kentucky. She'd been
quiet and distant.

Jay wanted to try to see her before going
home for Christmas. He'd invited her over for dinner and she'd
accepted. Jay had not been able to read her tone of voice. Tonia
had come over early for dinner, expecting pizza as usual from the
“I’ll cook if you give me the phone number” Calloway.

"What's all this?" she asked as she walked
into Jay's “dining room” (a table set in a corner of the “living
room”). Dishes filled with delicious looking foods were spread all
over the table.

"You must have been cooking for hours!"

"Days,” Jay said with pride. He held her
chair and then proceeded to wait on her hand and foot serving a
seven course not-so-gourmet meal. Tonia was suitably and duly
impressed.

"You have a way of making me feel like a
princess,” she said. Some of the coolness was gone from her
voice.

"Come with me,” Jay replied. He led her out
of the apartment to the stairway in the fire escape. Holding her
hand he led her up five stories to the roof of his building. A
Christmas season nighttime in Manhattan blossomed all around
them.

Jay started singing a soft Johnny Mathis tune
as he waltzed this woman he so desperately wanted to love him
around the top of the world. He brushed a kiss against her cheek.
In the midst of the reverie of their dance magnificent flakes of
purest Christmas snow descended as softly as angel's kisses.

"You must be magic,” Tonia said.

"The magic is in our love,” Jay replied.

Tonia stiffened at the word love. Her bottom
lip trembled almost imperceptibly at first but then in ever larger
quivering tremors. Guilty tears dewed up in her eyes. She broke the
dance and backed off two steps from Jay, just out of his reach.

"I have to go,” Tonia said.

"What? Why?" Jay asked.

"I can't see you anymore,” she said. Tonia
turned and in a flurry was gone. Jay thought to chase her but was
too stunned to move, he became rooted to the snow covered roof. He
leaned his head back and stared up into the snow filled Christmas
sky. He stood there for quite some time, the snow sticking in his
hair. When he could no longer take the cold and snow, he quietly
retreated to his apartment.

The next day Jay woke with a sniffle and
clogged nose that made his flight home physically painful as his
ears would not equalize to the changing pressures. But it was his
heart that was hurt the most. He spent the holidays at home trying,
and failing, to get Tonia out of his mind.

Chapter

"I can't believe it's you,” Jay said into the
phone.

"I'm sorry,” Tonia said.

"I've been trying to get over you,” Jay
said.

"Have you? Gotten over me?"

"No.”

"Then come to my place for New Year's?" Tonia
ordered.

Jay thought he heard a new note of longing
and loneliness in her voice as it coursed through the phone wires
from her Long Island home to Jay's parents house in Vinton County,
Ohio.

"But I'm in Ohio. It'll take me all day if I
can even get a flight. And I already told my parents..."

"Fine,” Tonia cut him off. "If you'd rather
spend New Year's Eve with your parents instead of me....”

"No that's not it at all,” Jay protested.
Tonia's end of the line was perfectly silent. He heaved a huge sigh
and rolled his eyes back into his head.

"Once you lay out the options like that, New
Year's Eve with you does look a lot better than here with Mom and
Drunk old Dad,” Jay said. The line was still quiet.

"Tonia? Are you still there?"

"Yes,” came the one word reply.

"I'll be there as soon as I can,” Jay
said.

"Good,” Tonia answered. Jay heard the warmth
and life come back into her voice. He was like a puppy who knew
he'd pleased his demanding and capricious owner.

"Uh Tonia?"

"Yes?"

"What about Angus?"

"What about him?"

"Well. Won't he be..."

"You let me worry about Angus,” Tonia
said.

"Okay,” Jay answered.

"Jay?"

"Yes?"

"I know this is hard to believe but I think
I'm falling in love with you,” she said. Tonia Taggert hung up
before Jay could answer.

"That was perfect,” Angus MacKenzie said to
Tonia Taggert. "Perfect. Almost a little too convincing if you ask
me,” Angus said. “Are you sure you aren’t in love with him for
real? It’s been known to happen on assignments like this
before.”

Tonia looked at him and then at Stan Krantz.
"Don't you ever feel bad about what we're doing to this kid?" she
asked.

"Sometimes,” Angus MacKenzie said
ponderously. "But then I think about operation Greater Good and
what we're doing and I can justify it.”

"I just think about the money,” Stan Krantz
added. "That's enough for me."

"I love you too,” Jay said into the now dead
handset.

"Who do you love?" Mrs. Calloway asked. Jay
wondered how much of the conversation she'd overheard.
Probably
all of it
, he thought.

"Tonia,” he answered.

"The nice girl who called for you last
spring?" she asked.

"Yes,” Jay answered.

"Well then I guess you'll be wanting to get
back to New York early then won't you?" she asked.