The Time of Her Life (21 page)

Jay’s turn to drink. And not a random sip, either. Heading back
to the hutch, he grabbed another snifter. “No comment.”

And he didn’t have one.

The only part of this holiday gathering he didn’t like involved
Susanna and the way he had to keep his hands to himself for appearance’ sake. He
didn’t have the same obligations as she had to her kids, but there was the staff
to consider.

Walter and The Arbors staff didn’t need to know he and Susanna
were involved. Not when he’d pretty well decided to sign the papers and leave
them in her care. Jay didn’t want to undermine her relationship with the staff
in any way.

And that wasn’t even touching the issue of honorable
intentions. He wasn’t entirely comfortable with the way he would come off if
everyone knew he’d gotten involved with Susanna, intending to leave town. That
categorized their relationship in a way that didn’t really describe what was
happening between them. Even island sex with nameless women left the potential
for an honest relationship to develop. His relationship with Susanna had a
foregone conclusion.

So what in hell was he doing with her?

Enjoying the moment?

That’s exactly what she’d say. Leave it to him to find the
perfect woman when he was leaving.... But he couldn’t leave unless Susanna
stayed, and how could she be the woman when she had already been living the life
that he wanted?

He stared at Drew, not having a clue what to say.

“You’re going to leave me to guess?” Drew finally asked.

“Nothing to guess about.”

“Yeah, right.” Drew raised the snifter as a toast. “Here’s to
screwing your head on straight. Merry Christmas.”

* * *

S
USANNA
SETTLED
HER
parents in their room. Early birds, they declined the late-night
Christmas tradition of midnight mass that most of their guests would participate
in.

“We’ll catch mass after we open gifts in the morning, dear,”
her mom said. “There are several times to choose from. Dad already checked. You
go have fun tonight and leave the old folks here to rest.”

“Who’s old?” Susanna kissed her mom’s smooth cheek. “I’ve never
been able to keep up with you. Still can’t.”

Mom beamed. “I don’t know. Looks like you’re giving me a run
for my money around here.”

Dad gave Susanna a quick squeeze. “Your new arrangement suits.
I haven’t seen you look this happy in too long. And I’m glad, Susanna. It’s been
a long time.”

All true. She was happy.

For the moment.

“Oh, Daddy.” She moved in for another hug, rested her cheek on
his shoulder, a safe place always. “I’m so glad you’re here.”

He stroked the back of her hair with a big hand, as he had when
she’d been little, when he’d been praising her after some accomplishment or
comforting her during some disappointment. The gesture was one and the same,
meant he was always there to deal with life’s ups and downs, creating the sort
of family life that Susanna had dreamed of recreating with her own husband and
kids.

“Now that Dad’s retiring, we’re thinking of investing in an
RV,” her mom said. “Then we could make road trips.”

“Looks like you’ve got plenty of room to park around here,” Dad
added.

Susanna shifted her gaze between them, smiled, reassured her
parents would continue to be an active part of her life no matter where she
wound up. “I like that idea. A lot.”

Then she was kissing them good-night and heading back out,
debating whether or not she had enough time before midnight mass to make one
last check on the gifts. The last thing she wanted to do was trek back to the
cottage in the wee hours after mass because she’d forgotten something.

The tradition was the kids woke up to their presents under the
tree. That tradition would continue no matter where they were. They might have
grown past the days when Skip would clamber around on the roof and track
reindeer hoofprints all over the yard, but the kids had long ago picked up the
torch. Brooke would sneak her gifts for everyone under the tree at night to
surprise everyone upon awakening. Brandon would make an appearance to eat the
cookies Susanna always left on Santa’s plate, leaving crumbs the way Skip
had.

Susanna knew the Santa plate had made the trip but gave herself
a mental note to put the cookies out when she put the gifts under the tree. On
the table beside the tree in the family room, she thought, so Brandon wouldn’t
have to look too hard to find them.

Just as she reached the door to her own bedroom, Karan appeared
at the end of the hallway.

“Exactly who I was looking for,” she said.

Karan looked as lovely as usual, and the sight of her
approaching, dressed elegantly, as always, in a festive gold skirt-and-blouse
ensemble that complemented her fair hair and creamy skin, made Susanna realize
how much she’d missed her best friend. Phone calls weren’t the same, no matter
how often they talked and texted.

“I’ve got your gift,” Karan said. “And I wanted to give it to
you when we were alone.”

“Come on in and I’ll grab mine so we can exchange—”

“No, not necessary. I still have your official gift for under
the tree. This one’s special. Just for us.”

Translated, this meant Karan’s special gift was likely so
over-the-top that she didn’t want to draw attention to it. That was also typical
Karan, so Susanna motioned her friend into the bedroom, bracing herself.

She’d barely shut the door when Karan demanded, “First, I want
to know why you don’t listen to me.
Ever.
Why don’t
you ever listen to me?”

Susanna stood at the door, staring into the lovely bedroom Jay
had assigned her with the four-poster bed and the hand-carved mantel from a
cypress home on the Georgia coast. “What are you talking about?”

“I told you not to mate for life.”

Oh.
Susanna feigned confusion.
“Who, me?”

Karan’s expression revealed utter disbelief. “You know exactly
what I’m talking about so don’t even go there with me or you will not get your
Christmas present. I swear, Susanna.” She gave a huff for good measure. “I can’t
even believe you’d try to play stupid.”

Susanna sank to the edge of the bed and spread her hands
helplessly, unable to admit the truth. As if admitting she’d been playing house
with Jay, had been
enjoying the moment
would make
the reality of his inevitable departure real.

The Arbors made it easy to keep reality at bay.

“I know you’re involved with Jay,” Karan said. “I knew it the
instant you introduced him.”

“That’s not—”

“Please,” Karan scoffed. “You blush every time you look at him.
I told you not to go from zero to sixty. What is wrong with you? Are you really
incapable of
dating?
”

Susanna rocked forward and covered her face with her hands.
“Ugh. I’m trying. I’m totally trying.”

“Obviously not hard enough.”

“Is it really that obvious?”

“Oh, please. I know Brooke suspects because she told me. And
your mom. Skip’s mom, too. And Drew’s been giving Jay such a hard time, I’d bet
money he suspects. Charles agrees, so don’t be surprised if he starts picking
Jay’s brain to make sure his intentions are honorable. You know how he is.”

“Shoot. Me. Now,” Susanna ground out between splayed fingers.
“Take back whatever you bought me because all I want for Christmas is for you to
stop making me feel stupid.”

Karan sank down to the bed next to her, wrapped an arm around
Susanna’s shoulders. “Suze, Suze, Suze. We’ve been best friends since middle
school. Aren’t any of my manhandling skills ever going to rub off on you?”

“I’m hopeless.”

“A hopeless romantic. For as pragmatic as you can be
sometimes...well, most of the time, you still believe in happily ever
afters.”

“You should, too, since you’re living yours with Charles.”

Karan relented with a sigh. “You’re right. I should be
appreciative because life couldn’t be more perfect.”

Something in her voice brought Susanna to attention. There was
a look on Karan’s beautiful face Susanna hadn’t seen before, a peaceful
contentment that was simply alien to a woman who’d never ever been peaceful or
content.

Whatever had put that expression on her face was
big.

“Dish,” Susanna said. “Now.”

That smile played around Karan’s mouth another moment before
she said, “That’s your special Christmas gift. You’re going to be an aunt.”

That
announcement filtered through
Susanna in degrees.

An aunt?

Arching a delicate eyebrow, Karan admitted, “I’ve been trying
to tell you since I first suspected.”

The crack-of-dawn phone calls suddenly made sense.

“Oh, Karan. I can’t believe I’ve been so wrapped up in my own
angst that I didn’t give you the chance.”

“You earned that right, trust me.” Karan patted Susanna’s hand
reassuringly. “But since I can’t take my gift back, I’ll have to give you
another.” She smiled, the picture of contentment. “Everyone likes Jay a lot.
Merry Christmas.”

* * *

J
AY
SHOULD
HAVE
BEEN
tired.
They’d been running nonstop since the first of the guests had arrived. There
were large meals in the formal dining room where Great-Grandmom’s china made an
appearance after nearly a decade of sitting on a shelf.

Late nights chatting around the fire in the family room.
Afternoons spent playing ball with Brandon on the lawn by the lake. Excursions
to the mall. Christmas preparations.

In addition to all the partying, there’d been work...but Jay
felt
alive
as he toted two big bags of wrapped gifts
down the stairs in the heavy quiet of late night.

Susanna led the way, running ahead to peer around every corner
and insure the coast was clear. Only the glow of the Christmas lights marked
their way, their muffled footsteps betrayed by the odd creak of the
floorboards.

Jay was reminded of long-ago Christmases when he and Drew would
hide in the shadows of this old house, trying to catch a glimpse of Santa coming
down the chimney through one of the real fireplaces. Mom had always made a big
production of leaving cocoa with extra marshmallows for Santa on the sideboard
before tucking Jay and Drew into bed. But there had always been three cups when
Drew dragged Jay out of bed to see if they could catch Santa. And the cocoa was
always warm.

He smiled at the memory, imagined his parents, grandparents,
too, probably, watching mischievous young boys tiptoe down the stairs.... The
thought made him smile. There’d been life in this house once.

He remembered because of Susanna.

She darted across the foyer and peered into the family room
then motioned him to follow her.

“Coast’s clear.”

Hauling the two flannel bags that weren’t so much heavy as
bulky and awkward, he set them in front of the tree. Susanna dove in. He rolled
his gaze when she reached into one of the bags and whipped out a ceramic tray
that read
Cookies for Santa
on top of her kids’
small handprints immortalized in red-and-green paint. Then she pulled out an
unopened bag of Oreos.

“Brandon’s favorite,” she whispered.

“I shouldn’t be surprised by how organized you are,” he
whispered back, dropping beside her to start unpacking gifts. “But I unloaded
your luggage and would swear you didn’t bring enough clothes for six months let
alone Christmas decorations.”

“Priorities.”

That made him smile, made him think about how much she cared.
The loving mom, who saw to all the details, who made it her business to make
sure those she loved felt loved. His mom had been the same way.

And she was exactly the kind of woman he wanted to make new
memories with, the kind he wanted a life with. A woman who would scoot along the
floor on her knees, half-hidden by fir branches and twinkling lights, giving him
a prime shot of her curvy bottom as she placed gifts under the tree.

This
woman.

The woman who stole a kiss beneath the mistletoe after they
finished playing Santa, wrapping her arms around him while whispering “Merry
Christmas” against his mouth.

The woman who slipped inside a guest bedroom after a final kiss
good-night. The woman who left him wishing he was crawling into bed with her as
the door shut with a squeak that reminded him to oil the hinges.

Those thoughts turned over and over in Jay’s head and kept him
from stealing even a few precious hours of sleep.

Or maybe he couldn’t sleep because Susanna wasn’t here. He’d
gotten so used to the feel of her beside him.

Or maybe Jay was finally facing reality, the inevitable truth
that what he wanted conflicted so dramatically with what he’d found with
Susanna.

Watching her sneak around playing mom tonight, watching her
interact with her kids the past few days...he wanted what she had. Close, loving
relationships with great kids. Sure, life had dealt her family a rough blow, but
they were still a family, still living their lives together.

Jay admired that. Envied it, too.

By the time the sun rose and he heard Susanna’s parents, the
earliest risers, moving around in the kitchen, he had no answers for any of the
questions that had robbed him of sleep.

He only knew how he felt.

He felt eager to get out of this room when he finally abandoned
futile attempts at sleep and took a shower.

He felt welcomed when arriving in the kitchen to find both
older couples working together side by side to provide a feast for the people
they loved. Susanna’s mother shoved a mug of hot coffee into his hands and
steered him to the family room to relax beside the fire Susanna’s father had
brought back to life.