The Tibetan Yoga of Breath: Breathing Practices for Healing the Body and Cultivating Wisdom (17 page)

7

Breathing through Life’s Suffering

KNOWING THAT ALL
of life is pervaded by suffering is one of the basic tenets of the Buddhist path. We sometimes wish to avoid reflecting on this basic truth. However, contemplating the nature of suffering is the perfect complement to wind energy training. Through this practice, not only do we have the opportunity to train in deep, abdominal breathing, but this style of contemplation can also lessen our stress, worry, and anxiety. As we begin to intellectually and emotionally realize that all beings are suffering, we can let go of painful emotions, such as basic feelings of loneliness or dissatisfaction with our own lives. We can develop greater empathy, compassion, and patience toward ourselves and others. Coupled with a focus on the inhalation and exhalation of the breath, contemplating the nature of suffering can gradually help us to purify and release old emotional patterns and unhealthy ways of thinking.

A
LL
-P
ERVASIVE
S
UFFERING

The Buddhist teachings tell us that when we take birth in this ordinary world, what we call cyclic existence or samsara, that suffering is all-pervasive. The word
all-pervasive
has serious implications. It means that suffering colors every situation in our lives without exception—if not at this moment, then in the next. The fact that we love means that we will lose. The fact that we have means that we fear not having. Even if we presently feel happy, our wish to maintain that happiness taints the heart and mind with suffering, because what we have cannot last.

The fact that suffering completely pervades the world and all of its inhabitants is a spiritual certainty that we all need to come to terms with. The first step toward accepting all-pervasive suffering is intellectual contemplation. Once we have thoroughly contemplated the ways in which other beings suffer, cutting through some of our own denial, we will start to develop a level of emotional understanding and acceptance of the nature of suffering. Once we come to some emotional acceptance, we can use wind energy training to take our own sorrows and sufferings, as well as those of others, to the spiritual path.

First, Contemplate the Nature of Suffering Intellectually

We resist believing that the world is filled with suffering. It can feel depressing to accept that there is no place in the entire world that is free of suffering, a place to which we can escape. Ordinarily, even if only subconsciously, we think, “If I were able to just go somewhere else, if I were able to have a different kind of life, I would be able to escape the unhappiness I feel in my own life.” This way of thinking shows we lack emotional certainty that unhappiness originates on the inside and is expressed outward. Instead, we are foolishly attached to the idea that unhappiness and suffering are caused by outer circumstances, which then worm their way into the mind. As a result, we become fixated on outer
circumstances and on our thoughts of how to manipulate or control them.

As a result, many of us also resist contemplating the topic of samsara. Why spend time thinking about misery? Doesn’t that just make us unhappier than we already are? Aren’t we trying to get away from the unhappiness we feel in our lives? The answer is that by accepting suffering, we are less controlled by it and less deeply affected. When we cut through unhealthy and unrealistic ways of thinking, we can focus on that which can bring us authentic happiness—an altruistic mind-set and dedication to spiritual practice.

How do we contemplate the idea that suffering completely pervades the entire world around us? We can start by examining the statement, “I cannot find one single place free of suffering in the entire world.” Do we believe that this is true? It seems hard to believe. We often think things like, “If I could just move to Canada, I would be more in agreement with the government and this would make me happy,” or “If I were living in San Francisco, where I agree with other people’s lifestyles and values, I would be happy,” or “If I were in Tibet, where people are practicing meditation all of the time, I would not have such difficulty developing my spiritual practice, and I would be happy.” Do these types of thoughts sound familiar? When we habitually think in this way, we fail to realize that each and every living being has his or her own accordant suffering.

Next, Drop the Fantasy of an Ideal Life

We often idealize the lives of others, whether they live in our own community, our country, or are part of another culture. We fantasize that a life different from ours—any life—is happier than the life we have. We all have these fantasies, and even though we may not want to admit it, we cling to them when times are tough. We do not want to surrender to the truth of suffering: that there is no escape, regardless of our achievements, possessions, or experiences. We want to believe that things could be
made better if we had more control; if we had more money; if our spouse acted differently; if our parents had loved us more; if we received more attention and support; if we had a better job; if people recognized our talents and abilities; if that terrible thing hadn’t happened to us; even if we had a different president. “If only . . . if only . . .”—this has been our constant friend, the mantra we have recited throughout our entire lives. Rather than being individuals who are ready to change and become happier people, we stay right where we are, full of excuses and blame in order to explain why we can’t be satisfied with our present situation. For that reason, we should reflect on the different kinds of suffering experienced by people whose lives we tend to idealize.

Exercise 17

REFLECT ON YOUR OWN FANTASIES

Each of us has our own fantasies, related to who we are and what kind of life we’ve lived. Many of us idealize people we know and interact with in our ordinary lives: our professors, teachers, therapists, friends, parents, or coworkers. We all have our own sense of what is desirable, and we can let it build up in our minds as the symbol of what we don’t have (what we lack), the thing we should have (what we deserve), or the thing that isn’t fair (what should be better or different). Identifying the people in your own life whom you believe have it easier, happier, or better than you can elucidate the nature of the projecting mind. Whenever you notice that a fantasy has taken shape in your mind, be sure to recognize it with introspection and bring your mind back to the breath, breaking the cycle of thoughts, and remind yourself that even the person you idealize the most is suffering based on the specific situations in his or her own life.

What follows are some examples of common fantasies and ideals, and of how to reflect on them so that we realize them for
what they are. These examples may not express the particular fantasy that you cling to the most, but they can be adapted to be relevant to your own personal fantasies. Making these contemplations pertinent to your personal fantasies is essential so that they become useful contemplative tools.

The suffering of artists, entrepreneurs, and corporate giants.
We may have the fantasy that if we did something glamorous and innovative, which resulted in widespread admiration and financial success, then we would be happy. However, suffering ensues from our worldly work. No matter what kind of work we do, suffering will result. If our company is not doing well financially, we may worry that the business will collapse. If our company is doing well but not growing, we may worry that business is stagnant. We are never satisfied with what we have, so no matter what is happening in our professional lives, we will hunger for something else. This hunger causes mental stress, unhappiness, and suffering.

We may fantasize that using our creative talents would emotionally and spiritually satisfy us and bring us lasting happiness. However, even if we create a wonderful product, concept, or work of art, others may dislike and judge it, or copy it and sell our idea to someone else. Or, we may create an artistic masterpiece but live in poverty. No matter what kind of work we do, it will be the cause of accumulating negative karma because we will feel anger, attachment, jealousy, pride, and ignorance in relation to our work. We should reflect on the fact that this karma will ripen as suffering.

The suffering of presidents and world leaders.
Even if we fantasize about a glorified position such as being the leader of a country—a president or a prime minister, for example—we should reflect on the fact that life is still mired in suffering. In order to become president, there is the great suffering of chasing after millions of dollars in order to get on the ballot for election. While on the campaign trail, there is the suffering of making promises that cannot be kept because future compromise is inevitable. Even after we win the election, even that great success does not bring us even
one day of happiness. For the term of our administration, we have to worry about every decision made and every word spoken because of the way that our decisions and words may be interpreted and repeated. We will have to shoulder massive no-win political or global situations, during which we will look bad and fuel the hatred of many, no matter what we decide. We should contemplate the fact that great negative karma is accumulated based on this type of high status position, which ripens as suffering.

The suffering of the independently wealthy.
Even though we know the old adage “Money can’t buy happiness,” we often still fantasize that it does. Many of us have probably imagined what it would be like to have unlimited financial resources, and to give up all of the normal responsibilities that ordinary people have to deal with, such as doing what we are told and working long hours. However, even those with unlimited financial resources experience great suffering. We may fall out of touch with others because we have such a different lifestyle, and thus feel isolated. We may lack the structure that comes from having to organize our time, and may not feel an urgent need to develop ourselves spiritually, since we have all that money can buy. We may experience great fear about facing life in the future without money. Others may use us for our money, and we may not be sure who our true friends are. And yet, our wealth will never keep us from facing the suffering of old age, illness, the death of loved ones, or any other existential suffering. Our abundant wealth will be the cause of accumulating negative karma because we will feel anger, attachment, jealousy, pride, and ignorance in connection to our wealth. We should contemplate the fact that this karma will ripen as suffering.

The suffering of great beauties.
We often fantasize about the lives of people who are uncommonly beautiful. We think to ourselves, “It must be so wonderful to be admired by others.” But we fail to think about what great suffering ensues based on having an attractive appearance. If we enjoy a beautiful appearance, we may become attached to our own beauty. We may find ourselves constantly worrying about how we look. As a result of this mental
anxiety, we experience the sufferings related to maintaining a youthful appearance: depriving ourselves of food, peeling off our skin or using harsh chemicals on it, and spending hard-earned money on plastic surgery and cosmetic treatments. We may feel competitive toward others, thinking, “Is he or she more attractive than me?” We may fear losing the admiration of others, and as a result we experience anger, attachment, jealousy, pride, and ignorance in relation to our physical appearance. We should reflect on the fact that this karma will ripen as suffering.

The suffering of celebrities.
We may think it must be incredible and fulfilling to be on stage. Have we ever stopped to think about how much suffering being in the public eye brings? To achieve stardom, singers and actors may be driven by great ambition and hopes of fame. But at what price? Caring deeply about achieving fame and stardom may cause marriages and families to fall apart. The tabloids are filled with stories of the family feuds and divorces of the stars. Every detail of our lives, whether it be true or not, may be shared online by our fans and critics, and our photos may be doctored and printed on magazine covers to entertain consumers as they wait in line at the grocery store. We may become jealous and competitive, wanting to maintain status, fame, and fans. The wish to captivate the hearts and minds of many causes us to experience anger, attachment, jealousy, pride, and ignorance—what we know as the five poisons. We should reflect on the fact that this karma will ripen as suffering.

Exercise 19