The Things I Do for You (The Alexanders) (15 page)

Raina turned to see Nick standing in the back doorway. “I’m just enjoying the last bit of sunlight and doing a little gardening.”
 

He’d already pulled his tie off and his hair looked slightly rumpled, as if he’d rubbed his hands over it a few times.
 

She turned back to her plants. How much water were they supposed to get, anyway? How was it that flowers seemed to do just fine in the wild with only the rain to rely on? She scowled when she noticed the small puddle at the base of the plant.
 

 
What kind of mother was she going to be if she couldn’t even keep a stupid tulip alive?

“What are you doing home so early? I thought it was poker night with the guys?”

“Jackson said you were at the house earlier.”

Raina rolled her eyes. “I also told him
not
to call you. Geez, men are the real gossips.”

“Why didn’t you stick around?”

“I’m not pregnant, Nick.” She kept her back to him and doused the next section of plants with water.
 

She felt more than heard him come up behind her. He pulled her back against his chest.

“Why do you always do that, sweets?”

She looked up at him, sharply. “Do what?”

He pulled her closer and kissed her gently on the forehead. “Pull away from me when you think you’re getting too emotional. Or cover your eyes if you think you might cry. I don’t want you to hide your emotions from me, no matter what they are. I want the good, the bad, and the ugly. You have the right to be upset, Raina. I know how much you wanted this.”

“I figured you’d be happy to have an excuse to have more crazy sex.”

Nick tilted her chin up so she was forced to meet his eyes. “I will never be happy about anything that causes you pain. Besides, you can just breathe and I want you. I don’t think we’ll ever need an excuse to have crazy sex. “
 

He pulled her close and rested his chin on top of her head.
 

“What are you doing?” She tried to pull back, but he tightened his arms until she couldn’t move.

“I’m loving you. Sometimes when things aren’t going so well, you need a hug. I used to see my parents doing this and just gag. But I understand it now. When life is heavy, it helps to know that someone is there for you. Even if they can’t fix things or make them better.” After a few moments, he pulled back. “You know what? We’re going to take this trying thing more seriously.”

She watched in surprise as he paced back and forth and put his hands on his hips. It was rare to see Nick so worked up about something.

“We
are
taking it seriously.”

Nick pointed at her. “I know you’ve made a lot of changes in your life, but I haven’t. I’ve been reading this book about pregnancy—”

Raina pulled back in surprise. “You have?”

“Why do you look so surprised? I care about what happens to you and I want to know what’s going on. I started in the middle because I figured I already know how to make a baby, but I just went back and realized I’ve been doing
everything
wrong.”

“What do you mean?”

“I’ve been wearing my boxers too tight, I’ve been riding the stationary bike downstairs, and I haven’t been eating well. No wonder my swimmers aren’t doing their job!”

Incredibly touched, Raina tried to suppress a smile. “Nick, those are just suggestions. More for men with low sperm counts. You probably don’t need to worry about any of that.”

“But just in case, I bought some of those loose boxers. I can deal with feeling a draft until we get the job done. And I can jog instead of riding the bike. I need to ask Sam about those healthy protein shakes he drinks, too. My point is, I probably need to make some changes in my routine as well.” He came back over to her and took her in his arms. “This is about both of us, so it doesn’t make sense that all the preparation should be on your side.”

Raina melted against him, allowing herself to draw comfort from his strong embrace. It felt so right to be in his arms just then. He wasn’t just spouting platitudes to make her feel better—he was really sharing in her disappointment.

It was probably one of the first times that she realized how much he wanted a baby, too.

“You’re going to be a really great dad, you know that?”

Nick pulled back and smiled down at her. “Thank you. That’s probably the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me.”

“Well, you’re already a pretty great husband. This is so much more than I ever imagined having.”

“I want us to have it all and there’s no reason we can’t.”

*
 
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“WHICH IS MORE romantic? Red velvet or the French vanilla?”

Raina had to refrain from rolling her eyes as she sat with Ridley in the catering office of New Haven’s premiere wedding bakery. Premiere meaning it was the only one.
 

She still secretly thought it was lunacy to try to arrange a wedding in two weeks, but somehow, Ridley and Jackson had managed to pull most of it together. It helped that Julia knew almost everyone in town. A friend of Julia’s owned this bakery and had agreed to supply them with plain sheet cakes that Julia would decorate. They only had to pick what flavor they wanted and she’d promised to fit their order in as a wedding gift.
 

Since the Alexanders were so active at church, they had been able to borrow chairs, tables, and tents that were normally used at the church’s annual summer picnic. They’d found a florist who was going to bring out seasonal bouquets to decorate the tables.
 

It was all coming together.
 

“I’m probably the worst person to ask, Ri. I’m not exactly romantic. I think the red velvet tastes better.” She took another bite of her sample of cake. It was sweet, moist, and the icing tasted like pure cream.
 

“How can you say you’re not romantic? You and Nick have really inspired us.”

“We have?” It was hard to believe that she and Nick, odd couple that they were, could inspire anyone.

“I know how things started between you but you’re clearly perfect for each other. Seeing the two of you so happily married makes me realize that being with the man you love is more important than the right venue or having the perfect dress. I want to just seize the day. I’m so ready to be Jackson’s wife.”

Ridley sighed and took another bite of cake. “This red velvet is really good.” She put her fork down. “I think this is what we’ll go with. Besides, red is romantic.”

“It’s hard to believe you’ll be married in two weeks. Summer will be over soon.”

Ridley made a soft sound of agreement, then turned toward her. “I need to ask you something important.” She took a deep breath. “It’s about our father.”
 

Raina pushed away the rest of her cake. “You can talk to me about anything, Ri. I know I haven’t been so supportive about you meeting with him, but I don’t want you to feel that you can’t talk to me about things.”

“I just don’t want to stress you out. Especially now that you might be carrying my little niece or nephew.” She leaned over and patted Raina’s flat stomach. “But I wanted to invite our father to the wedding. I’m not going to ask him to give me away because it’s not like he ever had me. Pretending that he did would be rather pointless.”

“You don’t have to get my permission to invite someone to your wedding. This day is about you. You should invite anyone you want.”

“But I can’t enjoy myself if having him there will bother you. Just because I’m marrying Jackson doesn’t mean you’re not still my other half. I think Jackson understands that. It’s just part of being a twin. We shared uterus space. That’s kind of hard to beat.”

They both laughed.
 

Raina grabbed her sister’s hand. “It’s not going to bother me. I’ve been thinking about it and I’ve decided that I do want to meet him. At least once.”

Ridley squeezed her hand. “Do you want me to introduce you? Or you can meet him alone. I won’t be offended if you’d rather have time with him by yourself.”

“No. I don’t think I can do it if you’re not with me.”

Raina’s heart thumped at the thought of meeting her father. She wasn’t sure how she was supposed to feel about him. Worried, nervous, excited, or angry. Sometimes she felt all those things at once. She was so tired of constantly feeling conflicted.

“The more I think about my child, things look different to me than they did before. I realize that things aren’t always black and white. I’d like to understand why he wasn’t there growing up. We can’t go back, but maybe we can move forward without bitterness. Mom was never able to let it go and it stole her whole life. I don’t want even a trace of ugliness from the past to touch my child.”
 

“It won’t,” Ridley stated. “We had no part of what happened in the past, but we can control what happens now.”

*
 
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AFTER A LOT of discussion, they’d decided that inviting William to Sunday dinner at the Alexanders was the best move. There would be a lot of other people around which would take off some of the pressure to make conversation.
 

Raina wasn’t really worried about the small talk. She was just hoping they wouldn’t hate each other on sight.

They drove past a sign that read “The Alexander-Bennett Co-Op” and drove down a long, dirt-packed road leading to a two-story ranch house. The sky was just starting to turn the colors of twilight; purples and reds and golds splashed along the horizon in bright smudges of color.
 

“I’ve never brought anyone home for Sunday dinner before,” Nick stated suddenly.

“Never?”
 

“No. That isn’t to say I never introduced my parents to anyone. New Haven isn’t that big, so I’ve actually run into my parents while out on dates before. Which was awkward.” He grinned. “But I never felt compelled to show any of those women where I grew up.”

“I’m honored to be the first,” she whispered. After the past few weeks with him, she’d come to know a totally different side of Nick than what she’d ever imagined. It would be interesting to see where he’d lived as a boy. Part of her was fascinated with everything to do with her sexy husband.
 

They got out of the car and stood staring at the front of the house. Nick came around the car and stood next to her. He leaned over and whispered, “Here comes one of my dad’s ranch hands. He’s worked here forever.”

An older man, his pale skin smudged with dirt, ambled toward them. His gray hair stuck out in scraggly spikes that he’d halfway covered with a floppy, battered straw hat.

Nick raised a hand in greeting. “Hey, Grady. Is everyone inside?”
 

“Yup. Your mama was upset about sumthin’. You better get on inside. Evening, miss.” He tipped the bill of his hat at Raina.
 

“Grady, this is my wife, Raina.”

“Hi,” she said and held out her hand. Grady shook it slowly.
 

He glanced at Nick. “This one looks the same as the other one. You boys never did share well.” Then he ambled on down the lane, shaking his head the whole way.

“Well, that was interesting,” Raina remarked.
 

Nick took her arm. “The fun is just beginning. Let’s go inside before they send out a search party.”

Nick knocked twice and then used his key. They stepped into the small entryway and he called out, “Mom! Dad! We’re here.”

Raina followed him into the family room. Most of the furniture looked brand new and the room was done in airy blues and greens. The stone fireplace looked like one of those ancient ones that could burn anything.
 

She leaned closer to see one of the pictures on the wall near her. It was Nick, wearing a basketball uniform. He had his arms crossed in the picture and a smug smile on his face like he’d thought he was so cool. He looked about fifteen.

She glanced over at him with a smile. “Wow. Seeing you this young is so weird. I can’t even imagine you as a teenage boy.”

Nick stuck his hands in his pockets and rocked back on his heels as she examined some of the other pictures on the wall. “Trust me, you don’t want to know what I was like then. Our poor parents had to deal with teen-boy attitude four times over. Jackson is going to have his hands full with his in about ten years.”

Raina thought about the child they would soon have. She could understand why his mom kept all these photos visible. She already couldn’t wait to see what their baby would look like and she was going to document and cherish every moment of their life.
 

Their baby was going to know it was loved.

They crossed through the family room and into the kitchen. Music and voices flowed through the open back door and into the kitchen.
 

“Everyone must be outside.” Nick pushed open the screen door and Raina followed him out onto the back deck. A tiny body bumped into her leg and she looked down to see Jase watching them, his thumb bobbing in his mouth. He took it out only to say, “Hi, Unca Nick.”

“Are you still sucking on that thumb, little man? I thought we had a talk about that. That look is ruining your swag. How are you supposed to impress the lady babies with your thumb in your mouth?”

Raina smacked him in the arm. “Nick! He’s a toddler.”

Nick pretended to jump away from Raina and Jase giggled. “Help me, Jase! Auntie Raina is assaulting me!”

Jase just laughed harder and pointed at Nick. “Get him! Get him!”

Nick shook his head. “My own nephew isn’t even on my side. I guess a pretty face trumps family when you’re three, huh?”

Raina sent him a scathing look and then knelt down next to Jase. “Can I have a high five, Mr. Alexander? I’ve missed having you jump in the pond in my backyard. You and Chris need to come visit me again.”

Jase gave her a high five and then immediately stuck his thumb in his mouth again. He glanced up at Nick, then took it out and slowly put it behind his back.